https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 07:09:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2291777 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 18:06:41 +0000 struggleisreal 2291777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Keybee: I'm sorry you've been there, too. Thanks so much for your empathy.</p> <p>@jaguar: Yes, tough moments among the great ones. xoxo</p> <p>@Crystal: I am so sorry about your loss and hope you get your take-home baby soon. Hugs.</p> <p>@nicknick: Thanks so much for the suggestions.</p> <p>I'm feeling a bit better than I was when I posted this. I think all of your advice helped, and I really appreciate you all! I definitely have my better and not-so-great moments, but I'm trying to keep moving forward.</p> <p>Thanks, everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2289325 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 10:05:41 +0000 nicknick 2289325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hope everything will be OK soon. Just try to concentrate on other things: good comedies, new hobbies, sport etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2288280 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 02:30:02 +0000 Crystal 2288280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can relate to the struggle. We've been trying for our first child for over 2 years now, and I am currently recovering from a D&amp;C from our 12 week loss. (I also had a loss at 6 weeks after 6 months of trying). Some days I am more successful than others in handling it. </p> <p>I just try to be kind to myself and take the time I need. I don't punish myself if I can't make it to something or need to bow out early- it's not work my mental health to force myself to live through it sometimes. (Like skipping a baby shower or excusing myself from a conversation about babies). </p> <p>I hope you get your second child soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2288254 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:50:17 +0000 jaguar 2288254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: We can be lucky but have our tough moments too. xxx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2288235 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:00:18 +0000 Keybee 2288235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been there! Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2288215 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:11:13 +0000 struggleisreal 2288215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jaguar: Thank you so much for chiming in. I've been rooting for you and hope you get your rainbow baby soon. I just keep trying to focus on what I have. Am so lucky, and sometimes it's hard to remember when faced with all this stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2288046 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:33:46 +0000 jaguar 2288046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to reach out and give you a massive hug. Infertility is hard; secondary infertility is also tough. Being so grateful for what you have, but so desperately yearning to give your little one a sibling - and you KNOW how lucky you are, but you also know what you're missing out on. Big hugs to you. x </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2287731 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:23:03 +0000 struggleisreal 2287731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinkle: @mediagirl: Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I really appreciate it.</p> <p>@Shantuck: Thank you for chiming in. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this struggle, too. It's so hard. Sounds like you're further into dealing with it than I am. I also feel like things are on hold until I can get pregnant. Like what will I have to miss at work, should I buy new pants now or wait and then buy maternity, should I sell/donate LOs clothes that no longer fit or keep in case of baby #2? Should we plan a vacation? What if? What if? What if? Some of it is silly, but it was such a relief to get pregnant in July because then I had a date. I knew what I'd miss at work or would have to prep ahead of time, I knew that I had x amount of time to live in my falling-apart pants before needing maternity stuff, etc. I'm so glad you've decided to go on vacation. I hope you can de-stress and enjoy and then regroup. Good luck and will be thinking good thoughts.</p> <p>@LoveHope: I'm so sorry you're also struggling. I know it's a bit different for me b/c I already do have a toddler. I'm so grateful for that. I just naively assumed it would just "work" again. But here we are a year later with no success. I'll be making an appointment to get evaluated and figure out where to go from here. Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2287440 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 11:27:17 +0000 LoveHope 2287440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: Being around babies/pregnant women is the hardest thing I've dealt with thus far. I've been ttc my first child for a year and a half and everyone around me is getting KU. I try to take myself out of situations in which I'll encounter pregnant people but that's not always possible especially if those pregnant people are co workers and close friends. It's really sad to say that my relationship with my best friend is really not all that great anymore because we both started trying together and she if course got KU right when she began and I'm still here... Trying. Like some people on this board mentioned I try and think about my life with my husband and it helps me cope. I'm also looking for a support group to attend which I think will help. Lots of luck to you and know that you are not alone :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2287196 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 09:15:10 +0000 Shantuck 2287196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have advice since I'm barely holding it together myself but I have a very similar story. I have a 3 year old at home and have been trying to conceive since December of last year. I ended up pregnant in June only to end up miscarrying at 7 weeks (and went through a scary ectopic scare as well). I feel like I am in a holding pattern in life until I have baby #2 (can't make a job change, I've stopped drinking wine, eating certain foods I like, etc.). I feel like I make all of my life decisions on the possibility of being pregnant (like skipping a vacation to Napa because what if). I spend tons of my already inadequate free time at acupuncture appointments, fertility appointments, etc. and all the while I am accosted with the news of friends having their third and fourth babies. </p> <p>I don't have any advice but I can definitely commiserate for what its worth. My husband and I are taking our first trip without our son in a couple weeks and I am hoping that will help me get out of this funk (at least temporarily) and that we will have time to discuss getting a long term plan in place for ivf, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2287012 Thu, 10 Sep 2015 05:55:34 +0000 mediagirl 2287012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. I don't have anything else to offer than my support. ❤️ I'm glad you were able to ask for help here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286857 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 20:09:38 +0000 Periwinkle 2286857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: I don't have a ton of good advice, but just wanted to send you :heart: I am so incredibly sorry for your losses and hope that some explanation is available soon. The unknown is always the hardest for me to process and I hope that you are able to find some peace and perhaps a roadmap through some concrete answers, if they exist. Don't be afraid to push for a possible answer, even if it doesn't seem to be your doctor's priority. </p> <p>Also remember that it's OK to feel this sadness even though it's hard and not always easy to see coming. Grief takes on new shapes and can surprise us in ways we least expect it. No matter how much we rationalize something (like being ok with other people's pregnancies and babies), it's still hard when it appears that someone else may be having an easier time than we are. When you need to cry, cry. When you need to be angry, be angry. But know that you're not alone.</p> <p>Sending you big hugs and wishes for comfort and answers soon. xoxo </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286794 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 17:33:27 +0000 struggleisreal 2286794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Herrade: @LibbyLou: @Mrs. Pickle: @2PeasinaPod: Thank you all so much for responding. Great thoughts and words. I'm sorry you've all struggled/been struggling, too. It's all so hard. I love the idea of starting a new hobby or something to be excited about (heck, almost bought a coloring book thanks to the HB thread!), but I have no idea when I'd do it between fulltime job and then taking care of toddler after work.</p> <p>The early loss in Nov. was most likely a chemical pregnancy -- we hadn't even gone in yet for an appointment. I keep thinking I shouldn't have tested as early as I did -- otherwise I would have just thought I had a late cycle, you know? And the only reason I got betas early this time was because I had the chemical pregnancy in November. Otherwise, I would have kept going along (missed period) as if I had a normal pregnancy, then probably would have been surprised at the first appointment at week 8 or 9. I'm glad it didn't turn into an emergency, but part of me wonders what would have happened if we didn't act so early, you know? I have no confirmation that it was ectopic. Just had low and slowly rising HCG. And the protocol is typically to assume it is ectopic. I'd feel better if we knew for sure, but they said they wouldn't be able to see anything on an u/s even if we tried.</p> <p>I think I will push for a scan/tests, etc. Maybe I also have scar tissue? I know it may sound weird, but I honestly hope there's a reason for all this. I can keep you all posted if you'd like. Maybe I'll be brave enough sometime to share under my normal name here.</p> <p>Thanks so much for your empathy. I knew this was the right place to turn. xoxo </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286790 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 17:29:22 +0000 gingerbebe 2286790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took us 3 years to have our son. 2 MC's, a brain tumor diagnosis, surgery and recovery, and once we got some testing done, found out we had male factor issues. Ultimately did not need IVF and conceived miraculously. DS is now 1. </p> <p>When we struggled to conceive, I would tell myself there was no reason to be jealous over other people's pregnancies because that wasn't MY baby. I told myself, "Why should I covet something that isn't mine? My baby is waiting to meet me and I want THAT baby."</p> <p>Also, after the initial grief/pain, I really embraced my MC pregnancies. We named both our girls, sent out announcements to our families, told our friends and community about our losses, honored their lives, and told God I was thankful for every day I had with them. I just didn't want them be a vessel for my feelings of sadness and inadequacy. I wanted them to be cherished as the blessings they were. Ultimately, we don't control how long we get to be someone's mother - whether its 6 weeks or 60 years - so I chose to be thankful for the time we had with them. And ultimately, our 2 MCs are what diagnosed my brain tumor and getting the tumor out balanced out my hormones and made it so I could carry my son to term.</p> <p>Another thing was that my husband and I really worked hard to keep our marriage strong. We went on regular dates, went on trips, worked our tails off to pay off a lot of debt and build DH's business, and I took several months off to get surgery and heal. And I remember right before we got pregnant with our son, my husband turned to me one day and said, sort of incredulously, "You know what? I love our life together. If we never had children and it was just you and me forever, I would be okay. I think I would be perfectly happy." It was such a gratifying moment for me - it showed that all the hard work we had put in to support each other had been worth it.</p> <p>Looking back we both really appreciate the 3 years we had before DS. Those were tough, gritty years filled with ups and downs and heartache and scary health ordeals, but we look back it with such a sweetness. We're starting to feel the itch for baby #2 and we have no idea if we will be lucky enough to conceive a second time and perhaps we'll end up adopting (which can take quite a bit of time too), but hopefully we will remember the lessons we learned last time and really embrace the time we have with just our son as a privilege and work on being a strong family of 3 for both our sake and for LO2.</p> <p>Hugs to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286704 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 14:58:17 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2286704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: I'm so sorry for your losses and you having to wait to TTC until November. I think that's the hardest part with having a loss when you want a baby so badly, and everyone around you seems to be pregnant with you.</p> <p>We had a super tough time with me staying pregnant. It first took 8 months of TTC to get pregnant the first time only for it to result in a loss at 8 weeks. When I got pregnant again, I thought we were in the clear when that was our second loss. My third pregnancy resulted in my son, but it was a really worrisome pregnancy, and I couldn't relax until I hit almost 30 weeks. Started TTC when LO was 10 months old and got pregnant right away, but lost our 3rd pregnancy, and it took another 8 months to get pregnant again only to suffer a 4th loss. </p> <p>My OB wouldn't send me to a fertility specialist for any of the losses until the 4th. He kept saying we were just having bad luck. I told him after the 4th loss that I was going with or without his referral, but would prefer a referral. The RE found my uterus covered in scar tissue and has no idea how my son survived through all of it. I had surgery to remove it all and then finally got pregnant with our 6th pregnancy. I'm now 38 weeks. </p> <p>With all of that said (sorry that was so long), it was so hard to make it through. I was really angry at other pregnant women - especially before our son. I was being bombarded with them. There were 10 pregnant women on my floor alone at one point. I was going out of my mind. I made my husband take me on vacation to the Bahamas after our first miscarriage. Once we had our son and the subsequent miscarriage, I needed to start a new hobby to keep my mind occupied, so I taught myself how to crochet over the summer between our 3rd and 4th miscarriages. I found that it was soothing and helped a ton, and I was running a lot. Those two things were my big stress relievers. </p> <p>I do have to say that if you feel like something is wrong, push to see a specialist, even if your OB doesn't think you need to yet. You know your body, and I knew something was wrong after I had the 3rd and let my OB convince me that we were just having bad luck. I could have avoided a 4th loss and that heartache if I had followed my gut feeling. </p> <p>I hope that you find answers soon, and you can find something else to occupy yourself until you have your rainbow baby. In the meantime, it's ok to grieve what you don't have right now. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286652 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 14:13:19 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2286652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss and that you're dealing with this! It's not easy and it just sucks.</p> <p>I think it was determination that got me through. I didn't want to be bitter. I didn't want to be sad when visiting my friends and their babies. I didn't want infertility to rule my life. It was something I was dealing with, but I didn't want it to control me. </p> <p>I still had plenty of times when I was sad, angry, etc. And after each failed cycle I took time for myself to process it all and wallow in self pity. </p> <p>I hope you get some answers and get a bfp soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286603 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 13:30:37 +0000 LibbyLou 2286603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Really good advice here from women who are so strong! Nothing really deep and thought provoking to add, just support. </p> <p>I too am in the infertility camp with you and while I do get sad/mad/jealous I try to balance it all with humor as much as possible. With DOZENS of close friends pregnant, many on their 2nd and some "oops" it can beat you down! I laugh at the absurdness (word? Not sure) at it all more than I cry. Which I do.<br /> And when I do cry I try to remember that there is no quota for good things, no set number of babies born every year. Someone else's joy doesn't steal my potential for it. I was also gifted a prayer card of the Saint of Motherhood and while I'm not overly religious, I do like to get it out when I'm having a tough day and thinking about my loss and struggle. </p> <p>Stay tough when you can and when you can't, that's okay too. Just be kind and understanding to yourself! ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286563 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 12:59:47 +0000 Herrade 2286563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dealt with infertility/multiple miscarriages for 7 years. After my 5th loss, I remember sitting in the bathtub one afternoon, feeling like my life was over. I took no joy from anything. I made a conscious decision at that point: I could either spend the rest of my life a miserable, bitter person, or channel my reproductive energy in other ways, building my happiness bit by bit. I started a garden, raised chickens, got involved in my community -- anything that made me feel that I was helping to bring something good into this world. It was a long, bumpy road, but now I'm actually grateful for that journey. It helped me build the strength to finally try IVF, and that's what finally brought my baby girl into my arms. Now we enjoy the garden, and the chickens, and all the other wonderful things that made my life worth living together! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286415 Wed, 09 Sep 2015 10:32:20 +0000 struggleisreal 2286415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: Thanks so much for this. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, too. It's just so tough. We're not at IVF at this point, but I'm going to make an appointment in the next month to talk to my OB to see where we go from here. Hopefully more testing that actually has answers.</p> <p>It's hard to remember that I'm not alone. Logically of course I know that. It's still hard to remember when I feel like I'm surrounded by friends and strangers who are pregnant. A couple friends declared that they wanted another and then poof, seemingly 9 mos later, they have another healthy baby.</p> <p>Thanks for your advice. I'll see what I can do to stop dwelling and take it a little at a time.</p> <p>I hope you get your baby soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286163 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 21:13:03 +0000 Amorini 2286163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: Sorry to hear about your losses and your struggles. :bummed: We are TTC #1 and are in our first IVF cycle due to MFI. One of my biggest fears is finally getting the BFP and then losing it! No matter the path we take to get here, there are so many complex emotions wrapped up in IF. It automatically isolates us from people who aren't living it, so we suffer in silence lots of times, which just makes things worse. Watching everyone around me create their families with ease has been hard. It's the hardest pile of crap I've ever trudged through, but I know I'm not alone. I have to constantly remind myself that there are lots of us, even if we aren't a majority. And even some of the bumps I see around could be the result of struggle... but I hope not, for their sake.</p> <p>To cope, I give myself permission to get through this anyway I can in one piece ... couples therapy, acupuncture, sometimes talking / sharing and sometimes not, meditation, avoiding people who are invasive and negative, getting support from a small inner circle I trust without hesitation...and just trying to stay in the present. If I mentally play out the good or bad outcomes longer than five seconds, or get stuck comparing myself to others, I just feel like it's a waste of energy.</p> <p>The only way out is through, they say. Sucks but it's true. I wish you the best and I hope it gets a little easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2286002 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 17:30:07 +0000 struggleisreal 2286002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: Thank you!</p> <p>@agold: YES. I wish I had more girlfriends IRL that were available for girls' night. It's so hard to schedule since I work FT and also have the toddler. Husband is great at allowing me "me" time, but I also miss the toddler if I choose to go out on a weeknight. Oh, and while DH has been great at supporting me during all of this, I know he's sad, too. And also he just doesn't fully understand what it's like to go through the physical pain/discomfort that also goes with all the mental stuff. I do have good girlfriends at a distance, so that's been really helpful.</p> <p>@winter_wonder: Thank you. And I'm feeling all of this even without an official IF diagnosis. I *could* get pregnant with a healthy baby next time we try. But who knows? The uncertainty is so challenging. And it definitely doesn't help when babies/pregnancy is all around me. Maybe I should lay off HB?? But you're all wonderful, so I think I'd be more sad about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285996 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 17:19:04 +0000 winter_wonder 2285996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're dealing with this. One thing that has made me feel slightly better is acknowledging feelings like jealousy, envy, anger, etc. And be ok with feeling the. I used to think and tell myself that I *shouldn't* feel jealousy or rage that another person was announcing. But IF is super upsetting and I think it's completely normal to feel those things. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285994 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 17:16:27 +0000 agold 2285994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: My sister has one little girl and very very unlikely to have a second. All her friends are on their second pregnancies and she's feeling so sad. It sucks. We meet up, go in the spa after she puts her girl to bed, we drink wine and we complain about everything! its always nice if you can have someone to speak honestly to. Sometimes husbands just aren't the right people for overly emotional dramatic conversations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285985 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 17:06:09 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2285985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just sending hugs your way. I don't have any advice. I didn't really have IF but it took much longer than anticipated to conceive #2 and I could get all riled up and go on and on about the things that bothered me. I hope you have a sticky baby very very soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285982 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 17:01:24 +0000 struggleisreal 2285982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Thanks so much for this. You're right: I don't know what's going on with other people. I do love everything I have. Doesn't mean I also didn't wish it were easier to have #2. I'm sorry you're struggling TTC your first. It's so hard. Yes, too, it's not like you're going to stop going to church, or that I'm just not going to do daycare drop off or ever visit a park again. I just have to be ok knowing it's not my turn yet, etc. Besides, the toddler is REALLY challenging! Ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285980 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:58:02 +0000 agold 2285980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: I'm so sorry you are struggling with secondary IF. The struggle is definitely real. I'm struggling with IF while trying to have my first child. Its really awful and I feel it has controlled my life for the past two years. When I feel jealousy creeping up (mostly at church, of all places, where there are about a dozen pregnant 20 and 30 year olds, ugh), I try to remind myself that I am very happy with my life as it is. My husband and I have a great time, as I'm sure you, your husband and your little one do, too. Its not good to compare ourselves to other girls with more kids or better pregnancies because we can't ever know what is going on their lives. Its not certain to be better than our own life, even if they have more kids than us. Sucks sometimes to be the childless one. But, you know, I do what I want so I just try to be happy with what I have. It doesn't always take the sting of IF away, but its all I can really do. IF has jaded me forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285958 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:41:04 +0000 struggleisreal 2285958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bloved: Hugs. I am crossing my fingers and sending good thoughts your way for a healthy, successful pregnancy. I just know I won't be able to relax if I ever do get pregnant again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285955 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:36:24 +0000 bloved 2285955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@struggleisreal: I did have trouble with my first child; he is through Ivf. However, I get what you are feeling because the first time, we just could not get pregnant at all. Whereas this time, I have not had trouble getting pregnant (in fact, one time I even got pregnant naturally) but the difficulty has been keeping the pregnancy. So it has been hard to wrap my head around why our troubles have changed and what it all means. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant and still holding my breath in fear each and every day, so it stinks how losses also rob you of ever relaxing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285951 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:28:31 +0000 struggleisreal 2285951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eko: Thanks for your words of wisdom. The first early MC, I didn't feel all that pregnant, though I suddenly hated brussels sprouts! So that one wasn't a big shock. I was still sad for awhile after. We waited a month to TTC again per dr. instructions, then tried for many more months and then took off some time to skip having a winter baby. (Just thought I'd do better having a spring/summer one). Then got pg again in July. I really thought it was it, and it was such a relief to have a little direction in our journey. It just wasn't meant to be, I guess.</p> <p>I still love seeing babies. It's sometimes hard not to imagine that "everyone else gets a sticky pregnancy when they want to, but I can't" I obviously have no idea what they went through.</p> <p>There's someone at work that I think is pregnant and hasn't announced yet. I know she's had a very rough time with IF, and I'll be so happy for her. And then on the other side, I just don't know how to deal right now.</p> <p>@bloved: Thanks for chiming in. I wish we could go on a vacation right now. That would be so nice. I don't count family visits that we'll be doing in Oct. and Nov. Haha! I don't know your history, but did you have trouble TTC your first child? I think this is one of the things most surprising to me. For me #1 was easy to conceive and carry, so I assumed #2 would be the same. How wrong. So I've been having trouble wrapping my head around that, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-help-me-handle-infertility-in-everyday-life#post-2285935 Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:08:58 +0000 bloved 2285935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with ms. Line- it totally sucks and I am not sure it ever goes away. I also suffered secondary infertility with two losses. I found that I just avoided things I could not handle. Also, and I know not feasible for everyone, but after each of my losses my husband and I scheduled a vacation to go on that we could not have done (or would not have enjoyed) has we been pregnant. It helped to have that to look forward to. Other than that, having good friends who can listen to you vent is key. If you don't have that, I recommend maybe seeking a therapist. I started seeing one who deals with loss and I found that to be really helpful. Good luck and hopefully your struggle will be over soon. </p>