https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 05:34:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928330 Tue, 22 Aug 2023 14:32:49 +0000 Chuckles 2928330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would agree with everyone that smoking around the kids, even if it's in a wide open space, is a hard no. I don't mind my kids being around people drinking as long as no one appears obviously drunk. I'm not sure how I'd feel about my kids playing beer pong with lemonade. Part of me feels like it's not that big of a deal and part of me knows that it's definitely unusual. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928328 Thu, 17 Aug 2023 19:46:07 +0000 ChitownRo 2928328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m ok w beer pong around kids and not making alcohol some secret taboo. My parents friends definitely partied around me growing up, so I wasn’t curious about alcohol. All of my friends whose parents didn’t socialize, or forbid etoh, wound up being much more wild with their binge drinking. I think it’s important to have a conversation with your kids about it…</p> <p>But no smoking at all ever around kids, indoors or outside. Cigarettes or weed. And if adults are partaking in thc gummies etc, they must be locked away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928327 Fri, 11 Aug 2023 18:16:22 +0000 cake2017 2928327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I would be uncomfortable with it all. I wouldn’t attend or would just ask if they could play when children are asleep or play in a designated area where you and the child can hang. My husband and I do not drink anymore. My family does. We’ve asked to not drink around us or in our home and it’s respected. They are the same in their home because they want to- but if we went to their home, they chose to drink after we leave- that’s them tho. Everyone is different so if they want to drink and play, you can move to a different area or ask them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928326 Wed, 09 Aug 2023 13:11:59 +0000 JJ2626 2928326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely no to the smoking! Secondhand smoke even with weed is real and just the smell is not something I would want my kid around. Can’t they just take gummies or something? Re: the drinking, I’m fine with people drinking moderately around my kid but it’s a hard no to having her participate in the beer pong with lemonade! That’s so weird. Ideally they would play away from the kids, but a 3 year old is probably young enough that she would just ignore the game once she’s told it’s for grownups. That said, I agree with a poster above that I would not be okay with the drinking if it got out of hand and folks were obviously drunk. Eek, good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928325 Wed, 09 Aug 2023 11:32:26 +0000 Cait1 2928325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The weed is a hard no for me. I don’t drink at all, but would have less of a problem with the beer pong as long as no one is getting obscenely drunk. I think it’s okay for kids to see adults having fun while drinking responsibly. But the emphasis would be on “responsibly.” As a kid, my mom was an alcoholic, and it was scary and embarrassing to see her constantly getting wasted at family gatherings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928324 Tue, 08 Aug 2023 05:48:59 +0000 LadyDi 2928324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't want smoking around my children, weed, cigarettes, whatever. </p> <p>I feel like the drinking thing is tricky. My extended family drinks a lot when we're together (granted this is usually only once a year) so they have definitely seen shots but not college drinking games. If my kids saw beer pong they would for sure want to play. But it's partially your siblings' camp and they are there to relax too, so I can understand them being frustrated. Can they play in a garage or after your kids go to bed? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928323 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 21:56:42 +0000 LemonJack 2928323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: I agree completely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928322 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 21:03:28 +0000 erinbaderin 2928322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the drinking and the participating in beer pong but wouldn’t have a problem with them playing it around a kid. Just say they’re playing a grownup game, I don’t see it as being any different from telling kids that they can’t taste my drink because it has alcohol in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928321 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 19:17:07 +0000 Lahela017 2928321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also adding that I definitely wouldn't want anyone smoking anything near my kids!! They don't need to be getting second hand anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928320 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 19:15:12 +0000 Lahela017 2928320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't want it going on right next to my kid, but could they play on the garage or on the deck away from the children? I definitely wouldn't have kids participating in any way, but maybe there's a way everyone can do their thing at the camp? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928319 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 18:25:21 +0000 karenbme 2928319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: right?? Pre-Covid we went on an annual snowboard trip that was always half kids half no kids and it was a big party at night, but no one ever suggested that the flip cup tournaments should start at lunch time, and if we had it would’ve been quickly shut down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928318 Mon, 07 Aug 2023 11:12:14 +0000 nwm 2928318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i consider myself to be relatively liberal about drinking around children but am completely on your side on this one. the idea of having a three year old not just present for but actually participating in beer pong is absolutely wild to me (lemonade really doesn't solve the issue) and i sincerely doubt even some of my hard partying child-free friends would ever suggest something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-drinking-in-shared-spaces-around-kids#post-2928317 Sun, 06 Aug 2023 21:46:07 +0000 karenbme 2928317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if anyone is still here to see this, but I’m looking for other opinions. I have 3 siblings, 26, 33 and 42, none of whom have kids, and we all have access to a shared family camp. Two years ago the then 24 year old invited her friends over for beer pong and Jell-O shots explicitly when my then 20 month old was getting up from nap. I shut it down and said you can’t do that around a toddler. That was then interpreted as me saying no drinking ever at camp, which is not my position at all, and we’re in the process of talking through what’s ok and what’s not (again). All three siblings think there’s nothing wrong with beer pong around kids, comparing it to a sober friend at a party. Am I crazy in not wanting my curious 3 year old to be learning drinking games from her aunts and uncles, even if they have her play with lemonade??? It seems insane to me, but it’s the position they’ve all taken. They’ve also decided that since weed is legal in our state daytime smoking in shared outdoor spaces should also be totally fine no matter who’s around. I don’t care if they’re drinking, but I really don’t want my kid getting a contact high or playing drinking games at camp. Am I the only one totally horrified by these positions? This stuff seems like basic health and safety for kids to me, but the reaction I’m getting is that I’m a total killjoy for asking them to save it until bedtime.</p> <p>ETA: I should also note that I’m only there 2-3 weekends per summer so it’s not like they never have time to do whatever they want at camp. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927156 Fri, 17 Jun 2022 20:43:44 +0000 bhbee 2927156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats on making it to this point, so happy for you! I think we got my 2.5yo a shirt and a book but I think she just took a long time to really get it - it was easier for her to understand the baby in my tummy than that it would change her life (and honestly, she was old enough it wasn’t a tough transition!). But we talked up how cool being a big sister was and she loved wearing the shirt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927154 Fri, 17 Jun 2022 18:39:47 +0000 karenbme 2927154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, Ladies 😃</p> <p>@Lahela017: I definitely remember the Little Critter new baby book from my childhood.😄</p> <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I’ll check out Daniel Tiger, but my kid is probably the only kid who absolutely won’t sit and watch TV so we’ll see. 🤷🏻‍♀️</p> <p>@bees_knees: Thanks for the rec! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927149 Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:52:54 +0000 nwm 2927149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>so happy for you!! yay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927147 Thu, 16 Jun 2022 00:18:09 +0000 bees_knees 2927147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Janet Lansbury also has a couple great podcasts/blog posts about welcoming a sibling. Congrats on the normal genetic screen! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927146 Wed, 15 Jun 2022 18:08:10 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2927146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: just adding to what the previous poster said, there are 2 or 3 great Daniel Tiger episodes about adding a new sibling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927145 Wed, 15 Jun 2022 15:34:09 +0000 Lahela017 2927145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm about to have my second, and the age gap between them is about the same as yours. We just told her, read a few books about babies/being a big sister and asked if she had questions. She didn't seem too phased. As we get closer to the big day though she's getting excited. I don't think it seems very real to them until they can see a big baby bump and see you preparing by cleaning old baby equipment and buying new things.</p> <p>We liked a Mr. Rogers book, "The New Baby" and a Sesame Street episode about a new baby. Both from the library. Our favorite book is this one so we bought a copy. We also have the Little Critter one that I like a lot. They all have good discussion about appropriate expectations and how big sibling is still special. (You don't want them to think they can have a playmate immediately!)</p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Sister-Joanna-Cole/dp/0061900621/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3C5UCC61TJH2G&#038;keywords=im+a+big+sister+book&#038;qid=1655324841&#038;sprefix=im+a+big%2Caps%2C899&#038;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Sister-Joanna-Cole/dp/0061900621/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3C5UCC61TJH2G&#038;keywords=im+a+big+sister+book&#038;qid=1655324841&#038;sprefix=im+a+big%2Caps%2C899&#038;sr=8-1</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/New-Baby-Mercer-Mayer/dp/0307119424/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=SVYIH85SAXUB&#038;keywords=little+critter+new+baby+book&#038;qid=1655325231&#038;sprefix=little+critter+new+%2Caps%2C170&#038;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/New-Baby-Mercer-Mayer/dp/0307119424/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=SVYIH85SAXUB&#038;keywords=little+critter+new+baby+book&#038;qid=1655325231&#038;sprefix=little+critter+new+%2Caps%2C170&#038;sr=8-1</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-tell-a-toddler-about-a-new-sibling#post-2927144 Wed, 15 Jun 2022 15:01:47 +0000 karenbme 2927144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I am 13 weeks with our second and my genetic screening just came back normal so we're ready to tell our 2.5 yo that she's going to have a new sibling. We're thinking about getting a book about becoming a big sister, but I was wondering if others have suggestions for how to make the announcement and communicate that we both still love her and that even though things will change a little bit, the baby won't replace her. Idk if she'll get it right away but she loves babies so I hope will be excited by the news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926141 Tue, 18 Jan 2022 00:11:44 +0000 bees_knees 2926141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry about your dog :( Sounds like he was a very special part of your family. </p> <p>Echoing sentiments of catgirl and caitcat, but also one more thing (not specific to pet loss)--when someone we know dies, I make sure to emphasize that the dog was "really really really old" or "really really really sick" or in a "really really really bad accident", etc...so the next time LO is sick, or at the hospital, or whatever, they don't think they will die. </p> <p>And yes, be prepared for a lot of questions that are a lot harder for you to answer than you may think. My sister died last summer and I still get many questions from my kids that I don't know how to answer, and a lot of repeat questions...I think it doesn't matter *how* you answer as long as you try to do it honestly and compassionately. And don't worry if you stumble over your words, or don't know what to say--she's two, so the exact content doesn't matter as much (IMO). Just remember they are very literal--for example, my 3 year old was very concerned that we "left my sister at the church" (at the funeral) and didn't know how she would get home. Which prompted a conversation about the cemetery, souls vs bodies, etc etc. </p> <p>I also think it would help to print off a picture of her and your dog and put it beside her bed or somewhere she can see it. My 3 year old carried a picture of my sister around for a month straight--still does sometimes. And my older boys picked a special spot to hang her picture in their room. </p> <p>The other special thing for us is finding a symbols of my sister all around--butterflies are her thing, and we see them everywhere. We also read a book together that said something like "whenever you find a feather on a ground, that means an angel has visited"... so my kids started a feather collection in a jar next to my sister's memorial picture--much like the picture next to their beds, it's something concrete that they are able to focus on. </p> <p>Anyways. Navigating grief is hard, and I don't think there's any right/wrong way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926138 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 20:37:27 +0000 karenbme 2926138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: thanks, we’re totally getting constant questions at this point. She keeps asking where he went, and our response is that he went to the hospital and then he died. It’s so hard to say over and over he died and try to explain what that means. We’ve already talked to daycare and made sure everyone is on the same page so she doesn’t get more confused.</p> <p>@caitcat: the point about waves is well taken. DD is too young to draw pictures, but I was wondering about putting a picture of him somewhere high traffic for her, like her room or in among the alphabet fridge magnets. We spent a lot of time today looking at pictures of him and it seemed to help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926132 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:56:22 +0000 caitcat 2926132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your dog. It's so hard to lose a pet and helping kids through it really adds another layer. My oldest daughter was almost 3 when one of our cats died pretty suddenly. We explained it in similar, simple terms like you mentioned. My daughter loved this cat (he was so easy-going that he even let her dress him up with her doll stuff and push him in her toy shopping cart...it was amazing) so I worried about what a big hole it would be for her. </p> <p>I was braced for her to have lots of feelings and lots of questions, more like what @catgirl mentioned. It threw me for a major loop when she was fairly pragmatic about it. She seemed to understand what happened and she definitely sensed that we were sad and why we were, but then she quickly pivoted to things like, "Will our other cat get his bowl and his feather toy?" or "Do we still need two cat carriers now?" and it just wasn't the direction I was expecting in the moment. But it was her sorting things out in her own way. About a week later, she drew a picture of her and the cat while we were coloring and she asked if I could hang it on her bedroom wall to help her remember him because she missed him. So her feelings about it came in waves, and in some different ways than I was expecting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926131 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:02:23 +0000 catgirl 2926131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>My DD was a little older when we first had to explain death to her, closer to 3. Within about a year we had two relatives die and then one of our cats. There is an episode of Daniel Tiger called "Blue fish is dead" that was really helpful. And we also found this article really useful: <a href="https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688" rel="nofollow">https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688</a> </p> <p>I think the hardest thing for me was that she wanted/needed to talk about death a lot. Which makes sense but I wasn't fully prepared how hard that would be for me emotionally. But talking about it a lot helped her understand and process what was going on. The article talks about avoiding euphemisms, which we did, but we had to regularly remind our parents to keep the language simple and straight forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926130 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 13:51:53 +0000 karenbme 2926130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lost our family dog today. He was very old (best guess 15-16) but we weren’t prepared for it. DD is 2 and seems to sort of get it. We told her he died and that meant that his body stopped working and we wouldn’t get to see him anymore. But she loved him very much and I’m worried that we aren’t going to be able to know what she needs. I’m wondering if anyone else on here went through the loss of a pet with a young child and if you would recommend any resources. Pic of DD “reading” to our dog just before Christmas 😭</p> <p>[attach=5813/22/r5vb6f.450x600.3832F427-F475-4F96-9525-0991403F4919.jpeg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-adults-get-santa-gifts-at-your-house#post-2925819 Wed, 15 Dec 2021 10:35:26 +0000 JennyPenny 2925819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine12: @karenbme: Lol, I so identify with this. My parents are the same way and I feel bad bringing them just a present each. But I recently realized that it's going to fall to me and brothers to take care of their insane quantities of junk when they pass and I'd rather not add to it unnecessarily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-adults-get-santa-gifts-at-your-house#post-2925817 Tue, 14 Dec 2021 19:04:47 +0000 Clementine12 2925817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: totally same. And then I feel bad bringing like 2 presents over for them to open. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-adults-get-santa-gifts-at-your-house#post-2925816 Tue, 14 Dec 2021 18:24:42 +0000 karenbme 2925816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine12: Lol, my parents are definitely quantity people as well, but I think my dad also used “Santa” as like a cute mechanism to spend too much money on things no one needed. 🤣 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-adults-get-santa-gifts-at-your-house#post-2925811 Tue, 14 Dec 2021 11:47:16 +0000 Clementine12 2925811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do the same as many mentioned - Santa brings a few small gifts for kids and stockings for everyone. But Santa brings gifts to everyone at my inlaws house :meh: and did so before grandkids were in the picture. They are quantity over quality people though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-adults-get-santa-gifts-at-your-house#post-2925809 Tue, 14 Dec 2021 09:41:09 +0000 Mommy Finger 2925809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I tried that line with DS1 and he told me that it's not a problem b/c the elves make it. :grin: </p>