https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 01:23:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599978 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 19:23:24 +0000 MrsADS 2599978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@elbiekay thanks. It is tough! I am sure it will get easier (well, different) as he gets older. The problem is I'm terrified of having another baby who's just like him! I don't think I could handle it again. But, maybe the baby gods would look kindly on us and give us one of these mystical easy (easier?!) babies. LOL. I'm still so sleep deprived at 11+ months it is hard to imagine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599875 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 12:48:33 +0000 ElbieKay 2599875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: At 11mos there was no way I was ready to consider getting pregnant again, even though I wanted to have two kids. I would give yourself a little more time. My son is 2.5 now, and at 11mos there was no way I would have been able to envision what it would be like to be his mom at 2.5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599768 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 07:45:49 +0000 MrsADS 2599768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. Following this. My son is only 11 months so we have time, but... IDK. We thought we wanted 2. Pregnancy was rough but this first year has truly been awful. I love my son but we have had a very tough time. My son has out of control reflux and MSPI, I have been on a crazy elimination diet since he was born, trips to the hospital/ER for a little baby. He is an awful sleeper due to the reflux. I'm working full time. The sleep deprivation has really messed with me. I have struggled, A LOT. I know that most people don't have such a rough time, but truthfully I feel like I have baby PTSD. I do not know how I could handle another baby like my son and also take care of an older child.</p> <p>That being said, I wonder if 10 years from now we will regret not having another and just suffering through that really bad first year or two. </p> <p>I have time to wait but my husband is older, he's 42 so I don't feel like we can wait 4 years and have a bigger age gap. </p> <p>I worry about it a lot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599762 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 07:36:04 +0000 ElbieKay 2599762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: I live in the same county and figure there is a 50% chance we live in the same smaller city! I wish the schools were better, because I like everything else about our lifestyle. It sucks. We keep talking about moving away from the NYC area but it's all so exhausting to contemplate.</p> <p>I just turned 39 a few months ago. We have a 2.5yo. Against all reason and logic, I want a second even though I know the first year will make me miserable. This current cycle is my last chance to have a due date before I turn 40. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599662 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 20:37:47 +0000 Sweetpea87 2599662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our first is 3 months old, and we are unsure about a second. If it happened, we'd be thrilled, but we aren't sure if we'll try to make it happen, get what I mean? We always wanted 2, maybe 3 if the first two were boys (I couldn't imagine not having a daughter). We had our first, a boy, and now are kinda like, eeehhhh. I can now imagine not having a daughter, and I'm totally cool with it. We want a big age gap, but I'm 29, so we have a little bit to decide (by 33). I also have anxiety, though, which doesn't help. The pregnancy was great, and our baby is healthy, and nobody can guarantee that a second time. Plus, my husband was mostly an only child, and he didn't have a problem with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599658 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 20:07:57 +0000 Cole 2599658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really enjoying this thread too, we have waffled about a second even though we always said two. In fact I was trying to keep the door open for 3 initially but now I'm the one who's really waffling about a second. We decided to ntnp and see what happened, i got pregnant the first try but it's a blighted ovum so now I'm struggling even more. I'm not sure where we are going to land now. Pregnancy was really hard on me and it was a lot of mental energy for me to embrace it and then we found out it wasn't viable..<br /> Sorry for all the rambling, it turns out I haven't exactly sorted this all out yet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599654 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 19:45:53 +0000 alphagam84 2599654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>haha I'm the opposite of you! I was thinking we'd have one but wasn't sure about a second-I hated being pregnant! But now that we have DD I can't imagine not having another! I have loved being a mom way more than I imagined and want to do it again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599609 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 17:07:23 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2599609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: Wow, what a journey you went through to get to #2. I am sorry that you went through two losses... I know from experience how painful that can be (I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy). I think you're completely right that sometimes there isn't a "right" number. I need to remember that a lot of this stuff is somewhat out of our control. Thank you for the perspective. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599607 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 17:02:07 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2599607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: This is actually a really helpful perspective... My husband and I both come from a family of two, so I like to hear what people who were only children think. Thank you! And good luck with the transition to a family of 4! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599542 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 15:08:45 +0000 catlady 2599542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another different perspective here. DH and I knew we wanted at least one and maybe two. After LO was born, we were nowhere near ready until she was close to 2. At that point, we were both really torn because our brains were saying stop but our hearts wanted to try for one more. I think we both knew we'd regret it if we didn't at least try for another. We ended up with 2 miscarriages in a row and decided to take a break to re-assess. Two months into our 3 month break, we had an oops and I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with #2.</p> <p>I'm so happy to be expecting but sometimes I wonder if we would have actually tried again in earnest if we hadn't gotten pregnant by accident. We really enjoyed our break and I think we were both coming around to being ok with stopping at one. We are now excited and looking forward to #2, but it is also scary thinking about changing our family dynamic. </p> <p>I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes there is no right number! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599530 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 14:53:23 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 2599530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really what you're asking but wanted to provide another perspective...DH and I are both only children and while we both had great childhoods we always wanted siblings so we both agreed to two and then see how things go from there. DS is 2 yo and I'm pregnant with our second. I'm slightly terrified about having another because I've never been in a house with more than 3 people and have no clue about sibling relationships/rivalries, but we'll just see soon enough :-) I'm scared I'm going to scar DS by introducing another human to the mix because I love him so much and think he's perfect right now :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599519 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 14:40:43 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2599519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sure thought we'd want 2, but I'm a little surprised, as well, to find myself uncertain. LO is 14mos &amp; I'm an AMA mama, so if we don't decide soon to go for it, (&amp; maybe even if we DO decide to), biology may tell me we are one &amp; done, anyway. Things have been hard with DH working an especially long work day this past year, as well as getting an advanced degree. I've felt a little like a single mom through LO's time here, &amp; while DH's situation will likely start to improve now, I have a hard time imagining how I'd do all that over again with a toddler as well without more help from DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599369 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 11:32:24 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2599369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: I'm glad you're enjoying the thread. I am, too. :happy: </p> <p>It's so interesting to me to see that for many of us our idea of the perfect family size changed after having our first kid. It makes sense that experience changes things, but it took me by surprise for sure! </p> <p>After seeing all of your responses, I'm glad to see that I'm in good company on this debate. I think the idea of "wait and see" will win out for me. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599111 Fri, 05 Aug 2016 00:02:57 +0000 ALV91711 2599111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't know and can't decide!</p> <p>Before kids we both thought 2 close in age. Motherhood is hard. The first couple years were hard. I felt like a zombie and our relationship suffered. DS is just over 3 and life feels normal. I feel like a person and that we have a relationship again. </p> <p>We both have gone back on forth as to if we want another. We talked about it the other night and neither of us feels strongly about either way. </p> <p>Time will tell but I could definitely be happy with one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2599107 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 23:40:24 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2599107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are one and done with an almost 4yo. We decided long ago, but it took me a long time to get on board. Along the way I've found so many things to love about having one. It so much easier and I can give him so much attention! He does have more alone time than some kids but he's in school has tons of friends and cousins nearby. When we go on trips we'll let him take a friend when he's older. I was worried it wouldn't feel like a family, but we do things like "family hugs" (called for by LO) that feel incredibly special. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598855 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 17:13:23 +0000 looch 2598855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have decided to be one and done. I will be 41 this summer and I just don't want to think about how old I will be when my child is x age.</p> <p>We never really had a set number when we set off to build our family, so there was never a goal in mind. I think that helped me be okay with the outcome of only one child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598821 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:19:26 +0000 yoursilverlining 2598821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are one and done (at least for now, never say never!) and pretty much everything @Mrs. Carrot: said is true for me too. </p> <p>We’re content and don’t feel like anything is missing in our family dynamic. </p> <p>I'll be 35 shortly and I don't feel really in any rush to make a decision either; although my husband is quite a bit older which impacts things, but still, I don't feel any pressure to decide anything for forever just yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598812 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:10:17 +0000 wrkbrk 2598812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaLovesDonuts: Thanks for starting this thread! I love hearing from other families in the same or a similar situation. Basically we always agreed to be one and done. Then DS was born and I wanted all.the.babies. DW firmly does NOT. She is 110% sure so I have let my fleeting thought go .. I just really miss him as a little newborn. He is in the 90th % and STRONG so he basically seems like a toddler already!!! And my friends are all starting on number two. I recognize these are not real reasons to actually have a second child so I do believe one is right for us .. but it's hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598810 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:07:12 +0000 PurplePeony 2598810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're in a similar spot. DD is 2.5 and I don't want a big gap between kids if we end up with two, but we just aren't sure about whether we want another. I'm about 60% yes and DH is 75% no. If we don't decide to go for it by the end of this year, I think it will basically be a decision not to have another...its so hard. So, I can empathize but I don't have any answers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598809 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:07:03 +0000 LilSprinkles 2598809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the same boat. We are content and love our family and life the way it is, so we aren't too sure if we want another one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598801 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:04:09 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2598801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I think this is a good plan for us for now, too... Just wait and see what we think with a little more time. I'm just so surprised that I would even question wanting another kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598800 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:02:56 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2598800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: These are a lot of the same reasons I'm wondering if one is enough... Except I feel like we lack great examples of families with just one child. That's I think a big part of why I've never considered it until now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598797 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 16:01:53 +0000 MamaLovesDonuts 2598797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for the feedback, everyone! I'm enjoying hearing other perspectives on it and happy to know I'm not alone in the uncertainty... :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598788 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 15:49:40 +0000 wrkbrk 2598788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jackiedavis87: Same!! I always think about how sad I am to never have a newborn again ... but I actually dont want a second CHILD which really doesnt make too much sense haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598787 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 15:49:08 +0000 wrkbrk 2598787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: This is making me excited for your stage! DS is 8 months and requires quite a bit of work right now ... haha.</p> <p>@Mrs. Carrot: That is SO nice that you have role models around you who are one and done. I don't have any and that is making it especially hard. When I tell people their eyes bug out that we don't want another. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598764 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 15:32:56 +0000 Littlebit7 2598764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are 50-50 one and done. We have a 16 month old. As @Mrs. Carrot: stated above, I'm just starting to feel like myself again. Life isn't hazy anymore, we have a life outside the kid, we've started to travel without the kiddo when my parents feel like coming up to visit. I fiercely love her, and I'm sure she'd love a sibling. I feel immense guilt and pressure to give her a sibling, but I don't necessarily want a second child. She'd be the only "only" child in our extended family. A lot of it is practical: we'd have to move into a bigger space, being able afford private school becomes taxing (our very urban NYCish area has terrible public schools), DH travels a ton for work and works long hours so I'd be solo a lot, and we have ZERO family within a 7 hour drive. And the rest are selfish reasons: I hated the zombie-no-sleep period, I finally have my body back, I get to hang with my husband and do more adult things, my kid is now insanely fun and we can go out and do crazy fun stuff.<br /> Ugh, so yeah I don't know. I kept every single last baby item in a storage unit, which is ironic because I'm not even sure I want another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598749 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 15:18:04 +0000 arosebyany 2598749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: same!</p> <p>I always thought I wanted 2, and DS is only 7 months, but motherhood hit me and DH reeaallllyyy hard! When I think about having another I'm honestly only thinking about how sad I would be to never be pregnant again, not how sad I would be not having another child. I also have a different perspective where siblings are concerned, I don't think kids necessarily need them? I think a family of three is what will be right for us. I have a few years to mull it over, but kids are hard lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598721 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 15:01:32 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2598721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were planning on being one and done but 2 months in and we are loving this newborn stage and are bummed that times seems to be running so quickly. We might end up reconsidering but if we do we'd like a large age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598713 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:57:49 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2598713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My situation is a bit different because I never really pictured having kids or how many. I wasn't ready for a while, and then suddenly I was. My daughter is 3 and I have zero interest in having another one. I don't rule anything out - after all I was convinced for a while I'd never even have one, so who knows - but I think given that I'm 35, I probably won't have more unless the urge hits in the next year or two. For me it's a lifestyle thing, honestly. Parenthood hit me so hard, a lot harder than I expected, and it's just been in the last year or so that I feel like I'm starting to feel like a separate human being, and my husband and I are starting to have a relationship again after being overwhelmed by all things kid. And I have lots of role models in my life who have just one and I can totally see things staying this way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/one-and-done-1#post-2598701 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:53:44 +0000 youboots 2598701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the same spot. I'm thinking a four year age gap- if it does not feel right we will keep waiting. Our DD is 17 months. I'm 32 so I'd like to have my mind made up within 5 years of so. I think it's ok to wait and check in every so often. We are not making permanent decisions for at least 8 years. </p>