https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 08:32:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926141 Tue, 18 Jan 2022 00:11:44 +0000 bees_knees 2926141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry about your dog :( Sounds like he was a very special part of your family. </p> <p>Echoing sentiments of catgirl and caitcat, but also one more thing (not specific to pet loss)--when someone we know dies, I make sure to emphasize that the dog was "really really really old" or "really really really sick" or in a "really really really bad accident", etc...so the next time LO is sick, or at the hospital, or whatever, they don't think they will die. </p> <p>And yes, be prepared for a lot of questions that are a lot harder for you to answer than you may think. My sister died last summer and I still get many questions from my kids that I don't know how to answer, and a lot of repeat questions...I think it doesn't matter *how* you answer as long as you try to do it honestly and compassionately. And don't worry if you stumble over your words, or don't know what to say--she's two, so the exact content doesn't matter as much (IMO). Just remember they are very literal--for example, my 3 year old was very concerned that we "left my sister at the church" (at the funeral) and didn't know how she would get home. Which prompted a conversation about the cemetery, souls vs bodies, etc etc. </p> <p>I also think it would help to print off a picture of her and your dog and put it beside her bed or somewhere she can see it. My 3 year old carried a picture of my sister around for a month straight--still does sometimes. And my older boys picked a special spot to hang her picture in their room. </p> <p>The other special thing for us is finding a symbols of my sister all around--butterflies are her thing, and we see them everywhere. We also read a book together that said something like "whenever you find a feather on a ground, that means an angel has visited"... so my kids started a feather collection in a jar next to my sister's memorial picture--much like the picture next to their beds, it's something concrete that they are able to focus on. </p> <p>Anyways. Navigating grief is hard, and I don't think there's any right/wrong way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926138 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 20:37:27 +0000 karenbme 2926138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: thanks, we’re totally getting constant questions at this point. She keeps asking where he went, and our response is that he went to the hospital and then he died. It’s so hard to say over and over he died and try to explain what that means. We’ve already talked to daycare and made sure everyone is on the same page so she doesn’t get more confused.</p> <p>@caitcat: the point about waves is well taken. DD is too young to draw pictures, but I was wondering about putting a picture of him somewhere high traffic for her, like her room or in among the alphabet fridge magnets. We spent a lot of time today looking at pictures of him and it seemed to help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926132 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:56:22 +0000 caitcat 2926132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your dog. It's so hard to lose a pet and helping kids through it really adds another layer. My oldest daughter was almost 3 when one of our cats died pretty suddenly. We explained it in similar, simple terms like you mentioned. My daughter loved this cat (he was so easy-going that he even let her dress him up with her doll stuff and push him in her toy shopping cart...it was amazing) so I worried about what a big hole it would be for her. </p> <p>I was braced for her to have lots of feelings and lots of questions, more like what @catgirl mentioned. It threw me for a major loop when she was fairly pragmatic about it. She seemed to understand what happened and she definitely sensed that we were sad and why we were, but then she quickly pivoted to things like, "Will our other cat get his bowl and his feather toy?" or "Do we still need two cat carriers now?" and it just wasn't the direction I was expecting in the moment. But it was her sorting things out in her own way. About a week later, she drew a picture of her and the cat while we were coloring and she asked if I could hang it on her bedroom wall to help her remember him because she missed him. So her feelings about it came in waves, and in some different ways than I was expecting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926131 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:02:23 +0000 catgirl 2926131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>My DD was a little older when we first had to explain death to her, closer to 3. Within about a year we had two relatives die and then one of our cats. There is an episode of Daniel Tiger called "Blue fish is dead" that was really helpful. And we also found this article really useful: <a href="https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688" rel="nofollow">https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688</a> </p> <p>I think the hardest thing for me was that she wanted/needed to talk about death a lot. Which makes sense but I wasn't fully prepared how hard that would be for me emotionally. But talking about it a lot helped her understand and process what was going on. The article talks about avoiding euphemisms, which we did, but we had to regularly remind our parents to keep the language simple and straight forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926130 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 13:51:53 +0000 karenbme 2926130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lost our family dog today. He was very old (best guess 15-16) but we weren’t prepared for it. DD is 2 and seems to sort of get it. We told her he died and that meant that his body stopped working and we wouldn’t get to see him anymore. But she loved him very much and I’m worried that we aren’t going to be able to know what she needs. I’m wondering if anyone else on here went through the loss of a pet with a young child and if you would recommend any resources. Pic of DD “reading” to our dog just before Christmas 😭</p> <p>[attach=5813/22/r5vb6f.450x600.3832F427-F475-4F96-9525-0991403F4919.jpeg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700652 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 14:15:42 +0000 Fronkinzankinsbride 1700652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. I can't being to imagine how you are feeling. </p> <p>As a way of honoring her you can start a tradition or carry on a tradition that you and your cousin had. For example when one of my friends in high school passed away a week after her birthday, the four of us girls that had taken her to birthday dinner continued to go to the same restaurant and make a big celebration out of her birthday. It was something special to the four of us that we've continued for more than 10 years. It helps us feel like the memory of her will never be lost. </p> <p>If you could include your kids in some thing you and your little cousin did regularly and make it a yearly or monthly tradition in honor of her I think it could be a great way to gift the memory of her to your kids. </p> <p>Sending hugs to you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700579 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 12:30:51 +0000 leelee 1700579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice but so sorry for your loss. I am a ucsb alumni and resident of Westlake Village. I was absolutely horrified when I heard what happen. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700562 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 12:07:19 +0000 MamaMoose 1700562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice but wanted to send love and prayers your way. What a terrible loss of a young promising life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700555 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 11:38:57 +0000 Anya 1700555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. I think @MediaNaranja: came up with a beautiful tribute </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700523 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:58:05 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1700523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your devastating loss. I can't even imagine losing a cousin that way :( I have no advice for you, but it sounds like you are already taking some great steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700520 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:55:22 +0000 BananaPancakes 1700520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am just so terribly sorry for you and your family's loss. I'm glad to hear you're trying to take care of yourself, and I can see how hard it must be to push through the fear for your own children's future. No advice, but I hope you find peace soon. Veronika seemed like a lovely girl. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700511 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:46:37 +0000 Ree723 1700511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no advice or words of wisdom, but I just wanted to express how truly sorry I am - she sounds like she was a wonderful person and will be terribly missed. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700472 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:04:08 +0000 BSB 1700472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so sad and tragic how she died. i dont have any advice for you. Thinking of you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700447 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 09:39:24 +0000 Synchronicity 1700447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice to add but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. What a nightmare for your family. You'll be in my thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700414 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 08:46:19 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1700414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your loss. What a terrible waste. </p> <p>I like the pp's ideas. If you have videos of her you may want to compile them together, perhaps you and your boys can watch her "highlights reel" together at special times. </p> <p>Not the same, but I had a coworker who's MIL drowned while they were at the beach, and he struggled with PTSD, and benefitted a lot from therapy. Perhaps you could look into that as well, for your anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700389 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 08:23:09 +0000 MrsSCB 1700389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twoofeverything: I hear you on just wishing they would "get" it. Especially after something so traumatic, it's hard not to think "even a tragedy so close to home can't change your mind?" I hope people surprise you in this situation and understand it's better to keep any controversial comments to themselves, at least for a respectful period. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Your kids will see the love you two had for each other every time you talk about her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700344 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 07:31:37 +0000 cmomma17 1700344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice, I'm just deeply sorry for your tragic loss. I hope you are able to heal and find peace! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700339 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 07:29:11 +0000 Mrs squirreld 1700339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700326 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 07:07:52 +0000 Ash 1700326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;3 great advice has already been given. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and your family. So sorry for your loss! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700315 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 06:44:16 +0000 mamimami 1700315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My condolences :( I love @mrbee's idea and @medianaranja's idea. I think you will find when your kids are close to three they will be able to grasp the notion that you have a loved one who's no longer with you. So if you work on those ideas it will probably get much easier to communicate with them before long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700291 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 05:03:15 +0000 nana87 1700291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so incredibly sorry for your loss! </p> <p>I love others' ideas about a photo album and garden/tree. I think that even just telling stories about her will help keep her memory alive </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her/page/2#post-1700271 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 01:14:29 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1700271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700265 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 01:01:40 +0000 autumnlove 1700265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your losses. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700249 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 00:20:44 +0000 Dandelion 1700249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700213 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:55:12 +0000 twoofeverything 1700213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: She was a Seattle girl...we had to go to Pike Place Market and get donuts EVERY SINGLE TIME she came up here....while she wore her UW purple and gold sweatshirt. (She did this to annoy me, since I went to rival WSU). Also, to be fair, the lucky kid spent her first two years in a condo that was literally above Pike Place, so she was addicted from babyhood!). Her parents and brothers will be at our house for Christmas, and we'll definitely be serving donut holes :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700201 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:39:45 +0000 MediaNaranja 1700201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twoofeverything: :heart: no words are needed :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700195 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:34:24 +0000 googly-eyes 1700195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twoofeverything: What did she do with the babies? Was there anything she really enjoyed doing (alone or with them?) I'm thinking along the lines of visiting a special place on a special day, or sending your twins on a special trip when they are older or something like that, so they can "know" her in a way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700193 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:32:07 +0000 travelgirl1 1700193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a horrible tragedy. I love the photo books and story book ideas, and the tree. Maybe have a special ornament for her on the Christmas tree each year - every time you hung it up it would prompt conversation around her. You could also play videos of her to the twins often, if you have any. I'm sorry, I hope you and your family find some peace soon :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700191 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:30:17 +0000 FliegepilzHut 1700191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twoofeverything: I am so very sorry for your loss... Sending love and wishing you strength and healing! It absolutely needs to stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grieving-my-baby-cousinhow-to-honor-her#post-1700186 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:27:35 +0000 twoofeverything 1700186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MediaNaranja: wow, I wish I had more words than "thank you!" &lt;3 </p>