https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 05:03:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv/page/2#post-648786 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 22:46:12 +0000 anonysquire 648786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey thanks everyone for your answers. Sorry I posted this right before work and then left it hanging. I appreciate every one of your answers. We're actually looking at an adoption site and it has different sections for special needs and that was one of them. I was curious to see if other people would be willing to adopt a child with HIV. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648709 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:32:55 +0000 Arden 648709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Yes please! I'd love to get more information for future reference from someone who really knows what they are talking about. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648705 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:23:38 +0000 Boheme 648705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I absolutely would. I'm actually a pediatric HIV social worker and have fostered kids with HIV and have several friends who have adopted HIV positive children. There is no risk to the parents of the child or the other children in the home in normal living situations. It's a chronic manageable disease now, not a death sentence, and it's not a huge expense or ordeal to care for them. In fact, Ryan White insurance coverage usually pays for all their care and meds. If you are considering it I'd be happy to post my contact info to your wall :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648698 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:12:30 +0000 littlebug 648698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we had the financial means to do so, I absolutely would. Unfortunately, knowing how expensive the medications and physician visits would be, I just don't see it being an option for us. If we were going to adopt a child with special needs (HIV or anything else), I would want to know ahead of time that we would always be able to provide all the care they would require. We are simply not in a position to do that, though, sadly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648693 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:07:41 +0000 Mrs. Polish 648693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: Thank you so much for posting this. So much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648690 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:05:04 +0000 Mrs. Polish 648690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: oh my gosh. I was JUST thinking about this today. I saw a Facebook post about how an agency was looking for homestudy ready families to adopt a 4 yo HIV positive girl. I don't know much about HIV, but I would have to read a lot, and discuss it a lot with Mr. I don't know if it is something I could deal with, so I definitely want to look into to more. I won't say no now, but I also can't say yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648676 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 20:55:07 +0000 KissMeCait 648676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I wouldn't. I feel the same as @tequiero21. If we had a biological child with special needs then we would do whatever we had to do but that's not something that I would sign up for if I had a choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648557 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 19:21:59 +0000 tequiero21 648557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't. Don't think I have it in me to take care of a special needs child. if I had a bio kid w special needs, I would do what I have to do, but I wouldn't choose to have special needs child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648499 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:46:27 +0000 Dandelion 648499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't. Maybe I would, if I didn't have children in my home already, but I firstly need to protect the child I have already in my home. I know there's plenty of ways to keep everyone safe, but even the slightest chance of my kid getting hurt because of it would deter me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648489 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:37:07 +0000 wheres_c 648489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am far more pro adoption than SO.<br /> If I had the money and time to take care of a special needs child, i would. hiv positive is not something I would seek out, nor a deal breaker for me.<br /> I would be more open to it if I was living in a country with universal healthcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648474 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:21:08 +0000 ladybee 648474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I appreciate your honest answer, I was just wondering. I teach children with cognitive disabilities and autism so I found your first comment a little shocking but of course it's all based on personal experiences. There is such a wide spectrum of need on the autism spectrum that even I admit I find some of the more severe overwhelming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648457 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:12:49 +0000 sarac 648457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladybee: My personal experience with people who have autistic family members makes it something I wouldn't choose, if I had the choice. If I had an autistic child, I would certainly rise to the occasion, but it would not be my choice. HIV feels less overwhelmingly difficult, to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648417 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:52:50 +0000 ladybee 648417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: just out of curiosity, why would autism be a deal breaker for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648406 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:47:12 +0000 sarac 648406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HIV would not be a deal breaker for me in the way that autism or fetal alcohol syndrome would be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648364 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:19:20 +0000 Happygal 648364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ". . . I just think it ends up getting romanticized and individuals think they are doing something really great for the world by doing it."</p> <p>Yes, I have seen this, too. Definitely not something to take lightly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648352 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:11:54 +0000 BSB 648352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would consider it if I did enough research. I would have to make sure I had enough saved up just in case there are any unexpected medical issues come up.</p> <p>I don't know if I would seek it out, but if we started the adoption process and fell in love with a child with HIV, we would entertain the idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648342 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:03:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 648342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't believe I have what it takes to be a mother to any special needs child. I wish I did. I know if I had a bio child with special needs I would learn to adapt but if I had a choice I just don't think I'm equipped for it emotionally, financially, mentally etc.. I truly admire any mother with a special needs child- the love and patience astounds me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648322 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:48:13 +0000 prettylizy 648322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't know. I can't say I'd jump at the chance, but we've also never considered adoption either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648313 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:43:18 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 648313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I probably have a little different perspective than most, but adopting HIV positive children has become a thing in my locale. One mom did it, and then it spread to her circle of friends and beyond. I have connections with the ID clinic where these kids get their care and it makes me sad that a lot of these parents didn't realize that they were getting into something big.</p> <p>HIV is still a chronic complex condition. Antiretrovirals are great, but the virus is constantly mutating and becoming immune to different therapies... so we are constantly trying to come up with new and more effective ones. This means frequent doctor visits, complex drug cocktails, and follow-up for any complications and therapies.</p> <p>I don't take a position on whether it is or isn't right for different people, I just think it ends up getting romanticized and individuals think they are doing something really great for the world by doing it. It is still an adoption, only with the added complication of negotiating all the adoption issues plus chronic complex condition issues. That is a lot to juggle!</p> <p>I think it is important for every perspective adoptive parent to realize that adoption is something they are doing for themselves, not to "save a child" or "better the world". If you would select an HIV positive child in the absence of "saving a child" then it might make sense... Otherwise, I'd encourage people to challenge themselves and examine their motives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648253 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:04:18 +0000 Smurfette 648253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think that we would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648252 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:02:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 648252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably not. I want healthy bio kids and if I had to turn to adoption to fulfil my desire for a family I would still want a healthy child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648249 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:00:23 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 648249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm would have to do a lot more research. I know that the medical costs have decreased over the last several years &amp; that with proper care and medication regiment, the child can live a very happy "normal" life. I have no problem emotionally adopting a child with special needs, no matter what those needs are, its the financial burden that might come with it.</p> <p>ETA: DH would be against it. He doesn't want to burden any other children with a special needs sibling. I'm sure that story would change if we ever had a bio special needs child. His fear is that the other children would miss out because of all the attention being places on the child with more needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648245 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:54:57 +0000 lomom 648245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't, but not due to the HIV status. DH and I both agree that adoption isn't the right choice for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648234 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:41:20 +0000 spaniellove 648234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: I don't have a lot of detailed knowledge, but I'd at least want to see that a school knows how to handle intolerance and welcomes parental input and involvement. It would be important to me that my child never be made to feel like less of a person.</p> <p>ETA: Obviously I'd want the school to have a nurse 5 days a week...so many schools don't anymore! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648233 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:40:43 +0000 Cole 648233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I would intentionally seek out adopting a child with HIV but if life pulled me down that path it would not be something that would be a huge deterrent. The biggest issue is that I have an immune deficiency and there is a good chance my bio kids could wind up with it as well. Pairing the issue I already have with the risk of contracting HIV is not a great combination so it would require a lot of soul searching and chatting with experts. The flip side is that I already know more than the average person about immune systems and finding awesome immunologists etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648231 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:39:10 +0000 allison 648231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's not the child's fault they have HIV, and the fact that that would be THE determining factor for so many people looking to adopt is just sad, to me. I agree that it would be a difficult decision to make, but that just sucks for the kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648227 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:35:56 +0000 HLK208 648227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would. Not now because we have two children and we are on the fence about a third. But the medication is so advanced now that the child can live a somewhat normal life. The only hard part would be always thinking that there's a possible expiration date on my child. But there's that possibility regardless of the disease. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648225 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:33:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 648225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: why? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648224 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:33:26 +0000 runsyellowlites 648224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely! Tbh I don't know a whole lot of what that would entail BUT I know that it wouldn't be something that would definitely "veto" the prospect for us. Right now it wouldn't be feasible but like @Arden, in the future when we're in a better financial place definitely!</p> <p>Idk if we'll ever adopt but DH and I have mentioned being open to it in the future.... who knows, we may end up being ol' fogies with a whole slew of adopted kids, medical conditions/not.</p> <p>FWIW I don't think it's wrong of anyone to not be open to it though. Adopting in itself takes a really special heart &amp; then having to care for a child that comes with extra medical needs is a burden that should be chosen &amp; joyful accepted (in the case of adopting, not biological). Not everyone can do that &amp; that is okay! (sidenote: I felt the same way about remarrying with already having a child... I couldn't fault someone for not wanting a step child). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-child-with-hiv#post-648217 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 15:28:21 +0000 pl0508 648217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would. It is not the child's fault they have HIV and I don't think they should be devalued because of it. Just my opinion l, though. I definitely see both sides of the situation </p>