https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 12:42:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2391523 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 21:27:07 +0000 BandDmommy 2391523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: but she's still getting gifts and actually more gifts. We started gift exchange to cut down on costs. She went ahead and bought gifts for everyone, and said she planned to do the same again. Not sure how she can feel left out when she's getting a gift from everyone. Honestly I wish she would participate and not buy everyone a gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2391507 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 21:17:01 +0000 Greentea 2391507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she is just needing a little extra attention/ love. I would do your best to be patient. Maybe she felt sensitive after the exchange ordeal and thought she was reaching out to overlook it and still feel included (by texting). I don't think it is ever a good idea to leave someone out of an exchange, even if they have their own interpretation of it. Good luck! I'd just try to be patient while honest and reasonable.</p> <p>I grew up with a mum that was impossible to please, so I know it can be exhausting. People have problems, just do your best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390541 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 11:20:00 +0000 Anagram 2390541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: After your husbands convo with her, I would just ignore from here on out. He deals with her, end of story. I would also be hurt (I am not aggressive at all and would die if someone were mean to me like that over text), but at some point you just have to give up on her. Clearly, she's crazy.</p> <p>RE: the Christmas exchange. In my family (I am one of 6 kids and most of us have our own kids, so too many ppl to buy gifts for), we do "dirty santa" but with real gifts instead of gag gifts. However, my mom (widowed) plays dirty santa with us AND we all get her gifts and she gets all of us gifts. But the rest of us don't get gifts for each other, if that makes sense.</p> <p>Having said that, my mom is normal and if she were feeling "left out" of something, she would just cheerily call up one of us (not our spouses, good lord!) and say she also wants to play, no big deal. So, still your MIL is crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390434 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:33:39 +0000 daniellemybelle 2390434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's hard. I struggle with really trying to please my in-laws, a lot more than my own family, so in some ways I create my own stress. It sounds like your MIL is not being very reasonable which makes it worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390253 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:09:44 +0000 BandDmommy 2390253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: My husband asked her to stop sending me so many text messages because of all reasons I listed above and that set her off again. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390247 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:08:04 +0000 rachiecakes 2390247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh, so sorry!<br /> my mom complains about Christmas every year, it's too much, she doesn't have the energy, etc., etc. No matter what you suggest - someone else hosting, catering, cleaning service, etc. there's always an excuse not to - she doesn't want to travel, she likes cooking her own food, she doesn't want cleaners in her house.. can't effing win and have to hear it all over and over every year. </p> <p>tell her you were on a conference call? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390243 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:07:30 +0000 Ash 2390243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BrandNewMom: mine too!</p> <p>I'm sorry she's so exhausting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390208 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:50:19 +0000 Adira 2390208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, she sounds exhausting. Can you have your husband just deal with her? I'd just ignore her tantrums if you can! Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390207 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:49:01 +0000 BrandNewMom 2390207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugggghhh I'm so sorry. At least my crappy in laws just pretend I don't exist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390194 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:43:39 +0000 BandDmommy 2390194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my MIL. Last year, we did a gift exchange with DH"s side of the family. So, in theory you only buy 1 gift and receive 1 gift. MIL did her own thing and bought everyone gifts. So, this year, we all decided to get her a separate gift and do the gift exchange with just DH, his siblings and their SO. So, MIL writes me yesterday and tells me her feelings are hurt she was left out of the gift exchange. Not sure, why because she didn't participate last year (on her own accord) and she is getting gifts from everyone. Then she followed up by texting me 20 times yesterday on the status of her decorating. When I didn't respond (because I was working!) she went off on how I didn't give a crap about her emotions. Gah.. I have 2 kids, I work from home 30+ hours a week, I'm pregnant (high risk with weekly dr apt).. Why can't she give me a freaking break???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-623719 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 03:45:19 +0000 Mrs Hedgehog 623719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Its hard to say. She is a wonderful MIL... just a crazy person. As long as I stay sane then I would love to be like her! (seriously, the woman is crazy. Even Mr. Hedgie would be the first to admit it.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-623681 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:40:18 +0000 anonysquire 623681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I will let my kids do what they want to do, not be jealous when my kids get married. Not try and wedge between my kids and their spouses and not act insanely immature! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-623665 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:17:08 +0000 sunny 623665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg YES. I hope that I will try to be a better MIL from my own experiences as a DIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611183 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:04:27 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 611183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL truly treats me as if I'm her 4th child. The only thing I would do differently (if I can help it!) is be less demanding of my children/children -in-laws time. She wants to spend a lot of time with us when we are in town, but we have other people to see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611171 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:02:54 +0000 cheert16 611171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My MIL is way older than my parents and we just think differently... hopefully when our LO gets here she wont be as NUTS </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611163 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:00:49 +0000 autumnlove 611163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so, I will try to keep some of my opinions to myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611116 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:47:16 +0000 Boheme 611116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I will try to be very mindful of not being critical of the ideals they hold. That is one thing that has really damaged my relationship with my MIL. I know she means well, but she comes off as extremely critical towards me. It just pushes me away. Her time with our LO will probably be more limited than it would've been had she kept our mouth shut, because I'm so on edge with her now due to all her criticisms. Her criticism has also made me worry she won't follow my and DH's wishes when she babysits for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611107 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:44:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 611107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our personalities are so different that I am not worried about repeating some of the things that she has done/ does that irk me.</p> <p>Now, I will take a cue at what my mom has done to DH and not make those mistakes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611038 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:23:14 +0000 tororojo 611038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I will do my best not to be CRAZY! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-experiences-with-your-own-mil-shaped-what-kind-of-mil-you-will-be#post-611022 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:18:39 +0000 Boheme 611022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never thought about what kind of MIL I'll be someday until I went through some of my experiences with my own in laws, and realized my son will probably be married someday. Have your experiences shaped what kind of MIL you want to be? In what way? </p>