https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 09:33:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2823742 Mon, 21 May 2018 09:58:54 +0000 Alba4 2823742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2823737 Mon, 21 May 2018 09:36:33 +0000 Sams Mom 2823737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are No Contact with my in-laws. Things were OK when we were dating, then right before my husband proposed they blew up and tried to get him to leave me. Then we (read they forgot they were dicks and acted like nothing happened) "moved on", got married, found out I was pregnant a few months later, and everything was peachy to them. We had some differences of opinion on child raising blah blah blah. Then my very Cluster B FIL went off the deep end, MIL followed even though FIL tried to kill her, treated my husband horribly, and now we've been no contact for 6 glorious months.</p> <p>As to the contact while pregnant, I never initiated contact but I didn't avoid it, I was treated very well while pregnant, but once our son was born I was the discarded shell/vessel and everything revolved around their perfect grandchild that is a clone of his dad, and he is nothing like me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2823726 Mon, 21 May 2018 09:07:27 +0000 oscarthegoon 2823726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's bad. MIL is overbearing and talks so much she sucks all the air out of the room. Our personalities are miles apart and I am fine with us not being close but she is pissed about it. Like bothers my husband about why don't I like her? I told him he needs to shut her down when she calls him to complain about me. </p> <p>Recently I texted her an infographic about car seat safety because she and FIL are STILL not buckling my 4 year old in correctly (straps are WAY too loose) and she called my husband to complain that I insulted her, she raised him just fine, blah blah blah. Put aside your ego lady and do what's best for your grandchild. Sheesh. It's happened multiple times and they act like I am overreacting when I ask them to do it correctly. So they are no longer permitted to drive my children around. </p> <p>I really don't understand (or like) them at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2823686 Sun, 20 May 2018 21:52:02 +0000 Alexandra603 2823686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I literally never directly contact my in-laws. I've never called them (we've been married 8 years!). All contact is through my husband. Relationship is friendly and fine in person but they aren't my favorite people in the world :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2823607 Sun, 20 May 2018 12:05:39 +0000 Anonymous B UP 2823607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used to be close with my in-laws, texting my MIL regularly, my husband would call them and talk to both. We also would visit them or they would visit us almost on a weekly basis. </p> <p>There has been some troubles with one of his sisters we tried to work through but there was no making her happy. She started to get angry at other family for talking or having contact with us. As the issues continued his parents slowly started talking to us less. </p> <p>Now they see us about once every 3 months if that, they call and talk to their son about once in between those visits. I have said when we have kids I am not allowing them to all of a sudden get close back like we used to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2804334 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 20:41:31 +0000 cake2017 2804334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: That’s so great! Boundaries are good too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2804254 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:46:41 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2804254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get along really well with my MIL. She raised her son to be the most generous and thoughtful individual, and she's the same way. She loves being a grandmother, and it shows. My boys adore her as do I. DH calls her once/week, and they FaceTime with the boys once/week. I will text her without DH to ask her something, or to thank her for sending something along with DH if he's stopped by (they live 45 min away).</p> <p>With my mom, I try to keep her at arms' length. She has boundary issues, and I have to set firm boundaries with her in order for her not to control my life. I get along much better with my MIL than my mom because my MIL knows not to meddle or be overbearing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2804119 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 08:57:21 +0000 cat620 2804119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you speak with your in laws on a regular basis?</p> <p>They live 15 minutes away, so we see them for holidays and other family events. My MIL babysits for us, so we see her when she comes to watch the kids. Outside of that, I would not say we speak often, and I don't feel particularly close with them. </p> <p>Did you MIL text or call you when you were pregnant?</p> <p>No, but we did see them regularly for holidays and other events. We also would have lunch or breakfast with them maybe once every couple of months when I was pregnant. </p> <p>Do you talk on the phone/lunch with them?</p> <p>Now that we have two small kids, we do not eat out at restaurants with them, because it's too stressful. The only times we eat together is on holidays or family events. We never talk on the phone. My FIL created a group chat, and occasionally we post in there, but it's mostly my FIL posting about stuff going on his life versus us saying what's going on in our lives. I'm pretty sure he's a narcissist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2804071 Tue, 13 Feb 2018 20:25:38 +0000 cake2017 2804071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: Oh wow! Nice that you’re close though!!!! ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802380 Tue, 06 Feb 2018 11:28:27 +0000 Alba4 2802380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’re close... they sleep over every week and take care of the boys once a week. We text and email regularly.</p> <p>I’m looking forward to not having them come weekly next year. I’d prefer a weekly phone call/monthly visit relationship. Ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802319 Tue, 06 Feb 2018 04:47:21 +0000 cake2017 2802319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs.kiwi: That’s great! Yes respect and honor is important! I’m glad you have a loving relationship! We had an issue of ILs being very nosey and wanting to spend time every weekend. We need our time too so DH has to explain that to them. We had to set some boundaries quickly because the last thing we wanted was other people including family causing issues! DH handles his family for the most part and I handle mine too! Thanks for your post! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802318 Tue, 06 Feb 2018 04:42:28 +0000 cake2017 2802318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleblessings: I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully the relationship changes to at least a hi!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802307 Tue, 06 Feb 2018 00:34:49 +0000 littleblessings 2802307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My going to be in-laws have absolutely no relationship with my kids or I. I’ll get random forwards from MIL once in a while. They literally don’t even say hi or bye to me whatsoever. It’s ridiculous. Like my kids are your sons. Get over it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802259 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 19:15:36 +0000 lamariniere 2802259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a very friendly/cordial relationship with my ILs, but we only see each other 2-3 times a year and we live on different continents. We actually lived with them for 9 months a few years ago. We don't call each other, and mostly do email once in awhile to send pics. If my DH calls his parents with facetime, I'll say hi, but I don't stick around that much and chat, but my DH also doesn't chat with my dad. I would say I have a closer relationship with my ILs than my DH has with my dad. I do like and appreciate them, but I wouldn't say I "love" them, it's just not that kind of relationship, and I'm perfectly content with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802247 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 18:02:22 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2802247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love my in-laws for raising my husband and loving us!</p> <p>That said they can be difficult people.. very strong and opinionated and also can be controlling. They also are a big time-suck- lots of surprise visits and staying for hours.. I really struggled with it for awhile but I have learned to accept it as them loving us and the kids (bc they really do) and no one is perfect.</p> <p>Respecting and honoring your parents is a big deal in their culture and it’s important to my husband and me to make sacrifices so they feel honored and loved.</p> <p>So YES we see them a lot and talk to them. I’ll call my mil if I haven’t seen her in awhile but usually we see them at least once every other week so no need to call too.</p> <p>I would go out to lunch but we never do just bc we usually hang out at home instead.</p> <p>She does check up when I’m pregnant.. again we see them often so not necessarily thru text.</p> <p>However with making decisions and logistics I let DH talk to them since they can be weird/controlling about things.</p> <p>And when surprise visits can get overwhelming i tell DH and he tries tto graciously avoid it in a non-offensive way to them haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802200 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 15:38:16 +0000 wrkbrk 2802200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL and FIL live across the country but we do get along great. Probably see them four times a year. I text with MIL several times a week but I’m not a phone person so no calls. :P No lunches as they’re not local but we send cards for all the little holidays (Valentine’s Day etc) and send videos of DS at least once a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802195 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 15:28:43 +0000 Shantuck 2802195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you speak with your in laws on a regular basis? I don't speak with them regularly but we get along well when we do speak (they usually come visit 1-2 times a year and we usually visit them once a year). My husband facetimes his parents with the kids about once a week and I'm usually running around in the background trying to clean dishes, laundry, etc.</p> <p>Did you MIL text or call you when you were pregnant? No, but I wouldn't have expected her to reach out to me just because I was pregnant. </p> <p>Do you talk on the phone/lunch with them? No. We get along great when we are together but they live really far away. I share pictures of the kids and text them thank-you's when they send us or the kids gifts. We all have busy lives so I don't think anybody is offended by a lack of communication. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802191 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 15:14:18 +0000 ValentineMommy 2802191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you speak with your in laws on a regular basis? Nope. Unless you consider holidays that we are forced together.</p> <p>Did you MIL text or call you when you were pregnant? No. I literally don't think she's ever once called or texted me. She did FB message me once......and I hope it never happens again. Lol</p> <p>Do you talk on the phone/lunch with them? No. When we first moved in together, before we were married, my FIL used to call every once in awhile, but never my MIL. That all changed when we got married.</p> <p>Let's just say that two separate therapists have told DH to keep his distance from his family, which he still has a hard time doing. It's a source of contention for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802178 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 14:47:46 +0000 petitenoisette 2802178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a great relationship with my FIL, my ILs live about 4 hours away so we don't see them often (and they can't travel so it's all on us) but my LO loves him and they face time every 2-3 days per her request. He can be a bit over the top about some things (thinking my LO is the most amazing being ever, sends too many gifts) but in general we get along great and have some common interests. We text sporadically. </p> <p>My MIL is a different story. She is unfortunately severely depressed, so although she can put on a happy face to interact briefly with my LO we don't have a relationship really. Nor does she really have one with my DH anymore either. It's a really sad situation. Before she got so sick it was kind of like @SweetiePie where she made me really uncomfortable bc I felt like she was hoping to finally get a daughter and we are just extremely different people. I just have never been able to relate to her at all and she makes me uncomfortable. In retrospect, some of that was mental illness that I wasn't really aware of when I was first getting to know her. But yea now it's all just at a standstill because she doesn't really interact with anyone. She's never done any sort of technology so even if she were well, all texts would go through FIL. She did use to want to talk to me on the phone on occasion which I absolutely hated. Anyway, so it's easier in a way now because I basically just don't have to deal with her at all but it's not for a good reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802107 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 11:47:05 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2802107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a group text with my MIL, FIL, SIL, DH and myself. We send texts with pictures a few times a week with the kids. Although they only live an hour away my MIL and SIL both Facetime DS a few times a week (way more than my parents that are 12 hours away).</p> <p>They are used to being in each others business but I let DH handle most of the communication with his mom. She does check in with me when she knows he is traveling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802089 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 10:27:58 +0000 snowjewelz 2802089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to in in-laws regularly. BUT it's more b/c we don't speak the same language, so we'd never talk on the phone and chat or anything. I basically never talk to them not in person. </p> <p>So with that said, MIL def did not text/call when I was pregnant with both kids. We really only see them when we have family get together, or when we need help with childcare last minute. </p> <p>A big reason is that don't really drive so unless we go there, they don't usually come here. And everybody in his family are introverts and are happy not hanging out 24/7 haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802074 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 00:12:37 +0000 ALV91711 2802074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL &amp; I have a decent relationship. She is a great lady. My IL's are 12 hours away and it has now been a year since we've seen them. We rarely talk in the phone but do frequently text. We try and FaceTime every month or so but that is so her and DS can talk. </p> <p>I have to say I think I lucked out with getting good IL's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802070 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 23:38:55 +0000 bubblegum 2802070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: I have two MIL, one who I am close with and one who hates me. </p> <p>I’m close to SMIL, so close that if we don’t talk at least once a week she’ll freak out. She’s amazing. </p> <p>When I was pregnant with DD, SMIL checked out me daily because she was DS sole babysitter.<br /> Having my other MIL hate me made me realize that not everyone is gonnna love you and that’s okay as long as your DH is madly in love with you, that’s all that matters. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802066 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 23:23:19 +0000 summerfruit 2802066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH talks to his parents mainly and relays info to me or from me. They are lovely people, supportive but give us space too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802059 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 22:34:23 +0000 cake2017 2802059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like most of us have a decent relationship with the ILs!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802050 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 21:33:26 +0000 Becky 2802050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We all get along well. We live in the same town, as do my SIL and her family (including her husband’s mom). MIL/FIL watch the kids once a week while we are at work and other times as well. They are definitely people we can rely on. We don’t text or talk daily, but we see each other pretty frequently and will text funny pics/videos of the kids. I’ll go to my in-laws without my husband and hang out with them—I see them more than my husband does. I am super lucky in this vein! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802049 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 21:32:20 +0000 jhd 2802049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do not speak with my ILs regularly. Usually DH calls once a week and they get an update from him.</p> <p>I’m pregnant now and MIL has texted me twice in the last month asking how I’m doing. I guess because it’s getting closer to my due date. Before that she would just ask DH how I was feeling.</p> <p>I try to text pics of LO every so often. They will text back a comment or something or comment if I post to Facebook, but it’s not really a conversation.</p> <p>LO and I have maybe seen them once without DH. They live a couple hours away and usually wait for us to make plans. </p> <p>They are good people and we don’t have a bad relationship, but I feel like it could be better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802042 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 21:18:06 +0000 MrsADS 2802042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We get along fine but we're not close and we don't talk. They live a really long way away so we see them 1-2x a year. They don't do "tech" so no texting, Facetime, etc. They talk to my husband probably once every week or 2. My MIL is on Facebook and she always comments on my pics of LO about how cute he is, he's getting so big, etc. etc. And they always send cards for holidays and gifts and stuff like that. So, I would say cordial but not close...at all. I feel like they could make more of an effort but eh. They are retired and we work full time with a 2 year old and one on the way sooo... I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802040 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 21:10:35 +0000 SweetiePie 2802040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you speak with your in laws on a regular basis?<br /> -Only because I have to. They have a standing weekly visit (well MIL comes weekly, FIL is with her about 50% of the time). For the first year - 18 months of LOs life we had almost daily texts or calls asking when they could visit. Often asking for weekends when we wanted to schedule family time for the 3 of us. It was so F-ing annoying. A friend told us to just schedule a once weekly visit the same day every week and it would help. I was reluctant because I didn’t want to see them weekly but it actually is better than the constant asking and badgering. And guilt trips. My MIL at one point scheduled a lunch during the work day with my husband to discuss that they didn’t see LO enough (she was seeing him roughly every 10 days, and they live 1.5 hours away).<br /> So anyway, Point is - yes I talk to them weekly but only because I have to. But I BOUNCE when they show up, so it’s pretty limited - we exchange pleasantries. Might as well take advantage since i SAH. And she likes when I’m gone because she gets all the attention from DS. </p> <p>Did your MIL text or call you when you were pregnant?<br /> -Nope. We don’t fight or openly dislike each other. But we aren’t close. Shes done a couple of things (as has FIL) that have been pretty offensive and/or overbearing. She’s the last person I want to have casual ongoing conversations with. Our texts are purely logistics. </p> <p>Do you talk on the phone/lunch with them? -Hahahahahahhaahhaha. No. I would never. She would like to, I’m sure (she had 3 boys and has said she always wanted a daughter and hoped I would be like her daughter. And maybe that could have been the case if she didn’t try so hard/interfere). Again, I get a text maybe once a week and it’s usually related to logistics - time of visit, switching days, etc. </p> <p>I WILL say that although she annoys me and I definitely try to avoid deep conversation, she means well and we just have different personalities. She’s not a BAD person she just has different expectations of our relationship (and hers with DH). She tries too hard and overthinks everything. But She really wants to help and that is appreciated when I actually need it. Like right now I’m 34 weeks with DS2 and she has been practically begging to help me more. So I finally caved and asked her to pick DS up from school one day a week because it’s physcially demanding (I walk a mile round trip twice a day) and then she stays all the way through bath and PJs. So I get a full day break once a week and although SHE annoys me I appreciate how much she loves my son and takes good care of him. She respects my wishes and she is happy to help and doesn’t hold it over me.<br /> Oh and DS has started spending the night there every 3 weeks or so. Just 24 hours, usually Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. It gives DH and I 24 hours alone and she is on cloud 9. And my son does like her because she really actively plays with him. Which I also appreciate because I find playing with him super boring. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-relationship-like-with-the-in-laws#post-2802038 Sun, 04 Feb 2018 20:54:05 +0000 arosebyany 2802038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very close literally and figuratively speaking lol. I live 2 ftball fields side to side from my MIL and 2 ftball fields from one of my SIL across the dirt road :silly: DH and I have been together since high school so at this point I've been apart of this family almost longer than I haven't. With that being said I only speak to two members of my entire family and one of them really isn't worth the time, so my DH family is my family </p>