https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 01:25:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799808 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 19:11:33 +0000 lamariniere 2799808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: oh, no offense taken! :happy: I was just a bit concerned that someone could look at this list and freak out that their kid is nowhere close to hitting all these milestones. Now that many of us have bigger kids, I think that we will see that a lot of "milestones" are going to be affected by the kid's personality and personal interest in actually doing and accomplishing various tasks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799630 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 09:15:39 +0000 pinkcupcake 2799630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799616 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 07:49:33 +0000 irene 2799616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: :heart:<br /> Hey I am sorry if I rubbed you in the wrong way... I also thought my DS is pretty independent and we don't have a list either. It is just that my friend and I were talking about our kids who are both turning 6 next week. Several times she said 6 years old there will be a lot of changes, and her DS needs to be a lot more independent. I replied saying, your DS is already super independent what else do you want him to do? Move out and find a job in 6 months? :silly: That just made me think and post it here to hear and learn from you all what your kids may or may not be doing at this age, that's all. To be honest I don't even know what is the next step that comes naturally and hence my post. I don't know how to communicate what our kids have been doing other than listing them out. That's all -- :heart: The list I found on the internet and shared in the comments was just... a list I found on the internet that I thought was relevant and shared here :silly: It wasn't my intention to say "this is the list and we must accomplish every item by 7", no that's not what I was saying at all and I am so sorry for the confusion... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799602 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 00:34:53 +0000 lamariniere 2799602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I should also say, regardless of checking off any boxes on a list, I feel like my son is pretty independent at 7, and I don't particularly feel the need to develop more independence than what has come naturally over time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799599 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 00:09:35 +0000 irene 2799599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for chiming in!</p> <p>@lamariniere: I don't have a "list" either, just thinking what he has been doing so far, and wonder what we can introduce. The shoelaces was a genuine surprise. DH wanted to teach him how to tie his shoes, so he bought these shoes with laces. DS wasn't interested and we just left it at that. A few weeks/months later, we got these thicker socks, and he is having a hard time putting his old shoes on so I gave him those new shoes (with shoelaces). I showed him a couple of times how to tie it, and suddenly he was obsessed with getting it right. The rest is history. He is now so proud to show off to everyone that he can tie his shoes lol. And he needs to be responsible for his homework, I really need to step back and let him be in charge but as of now I feel like if I don't "nudge" him he'd probably won't do it (and we only have it once a week for now). Maybe I should try not to remind him at all...</p> <p>@Mrs Panda: Wow! Meal planning and wipe the bathroom counters, and public bathroom-- That's amazing! I've seen another one of DS's schoolmates, and how her dad just wait for her outside at the ladies' room, I was amazed! Maybe it is a girl thing? That was a few months ago, and I still am not sure if I am OK with him going to the bathroom by himself.</p> <p>@KT326: Yes same here, I also have to remind him to use soap and wash xyz or he'd be singing songs in the shower for half an hour. Good point about trusting other people! Haven't thought about that... And wonderful he is helpful with his kid sister :)</p> <p>@pinkcupcake: Haha! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799533 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 18:12:19 +0000 pinkcupcake 2799533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. I’m surprised by this list. My daughter will turn 6 next month and she is nowhere this “independent”. I’m not really in a hurry to have her grow up and be totally self sufficient. These days are so short. I’d rather baby her when I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799488 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 14:10:01 +0000 KT326 2799488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the level of independence can be different for every kid. My son will be 6 at the end of March. While he is pretty independent, there are things I don't see changing any time soon. </p> <p>For example, he showers on his own but I still have to go in and remind him to wash with soap. Otherwise he just plays. He also still needs help getting the soap out of his hair (he only washes it a couple times a week).</p> <p>He also does not go into public restrooms by himself unless they are the single stall type. I trust him but I don't trust other people! </p> <p>He does a lot at home and can do pretty much anything I ask. He is also very helpful with his baby brother (1 year old) and can watch him while I am in the shower or busy with something else. But he does not have a set list of chores yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799419 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 12:17:51 +0000 Mrs Panda 2799419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 6 yr old helps me with meal planning and grocery shopping, and she wipes the counters in the bathroom after they brush their teeth, etc. no toilet cleaning, though! </p> <p>She does use public bathrooms by herself, and knows to not touch things, use the toilet covers, etc. She even uses a paper towel to open the door after washing her hands. :) I usually still position myself where I can see her going in and and coming out (and can see who else is going in/coming out). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799297 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 22:31:29 +0000 Corduroy 2799297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: We’re also on a cul de sac where anyone can come in. It’s a four house cul de sac off of a usually quiet street so its safer traffic wise than most streets. We are in a suburb near Oakland though so it’s not as if I feel completely insulted from the outside world. </p> <p>Since kids already play outside in the neighborhood unsupervised I think the risk of someone calling the cops on me or another parent here is really low. My 4 year old is taller than the 6 year old and nobody has reported him which adds to my comfort level. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799275 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 21:11:15 +0000 lamariniere 2799275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is newly 7 and we don't have a set list. He is responsible for homework though, and he has homework just about every day. I've started letting him shower on his own, he can turn the water on and off and adjust the temperature and wash his hair and body alone. For the rest, I expect him to do things if I ask, like tidy up his toys, help put things away, be helpful at the grocery store, etc. As for shoelaces, I don't think I'm ever going to buy shoes with laces. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799115 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 11:46:59 +0000 Silva 2799115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: my 4 1/2 year old loves cleaning the bathroom- i just start doing it in front of her and ask her if she wants to help. usually she does! doing chores together is one of her favorites. i try to make it fun, maybe play music </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799103 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 11:19:52 +0000 Mamaof2 2799103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: unfortunately not -she is just a helper by nature and loves to do chores!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799084 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 10:21:26 +0000 irene 2799084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Ahh! I envy you!!! Anything you do to "motivate" that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799073 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 09:53:02 +0000 Mamaof2 2799073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: my 6 yr old loves to clean the toilet! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799068 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 09:46:05 +0000 irene 2799068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>By the way, I just found this list:<br /> <a href="http://alysonschafer.com/home-responsibilities-by-age/" rel="nofollow">http://alysonschafer.com/home-responsibilities-by-age/</a></p> <p>HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR 5 and 6 YEAR OLD</p> <p>Help with the meal planning and grocery shopping.<br /> Making own sandwich or simple breakfast. Then cleaning up.<br /> Pouring own drink.<br /> Preparing the dinner table.<br /> Tearing up lettuce for the salad.<br /> Putting in certain ingredients to a recipe.<br /> Making bed and cleaning room.<br /> Dressing on own and choosing outfit for the day.<br /> Scrubbing the sink, toilet and bathtub.<br /> Cleaning mirrors and windows.<br /> Separate clothing for washing. Putting white clothes in one separate pile and colored in another.<br /> Fold clean clothes and put them away.<br /> Answer the telephone and dial the phone for use.<br /> Yard work.<br /> Paying for small purchases.<br /> Taking out the garbage<br /> Feeding his/her pets and cleaning their living area.</p> <p>I wonder when will I ever be able to lure DS into scrubbing his own toilet?!! I left a box of clorox wipes in his bathroom counter and told him to please wipe the counter whenever it got dirty, he never does it.... Any one's LO is doing any of these extra chores at 6?</p> <p>I am now thinking, when summer comes, I can let him make his own lunch sandwich one day in the week before he goes to camp. Let me figure out how / if it works.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799067 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 09:43:16 +0000 irene 2799067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I like it - I like that it is DS's responsibility to let you know what needs to be done each week in terms of homework. For now as a control freak myself, I can't help but ask every Tuesday (when homework is assigned) what needs to be done, and hush him to do it so he can return it the next day (due day is Thursday). DH kept telling me I need to let go and if he doesn't do it, he'd learn. But it is so hard to let go! lol. Something I need to work on MYSELF.</p> <p>In terms of everyday schedule I find one thing very helpful -- I stuck his weekly class schedule, as well as a "what to pack" list at the mudroom cabinet door where his school bag is. Every morning after breakfast and teeth brushing, he goes there and check what he needs to bring and pack everything himself. Some days he need to pack his snack himself. I basically don't (or try not to, haha) remind or ask him if he got xyz. It's been working pretty well! This morning he said, I forgot to bring in my folder yesterday (it was written under Monday what to bring, but he didn't), and he said he needs to bring it today. Another time, he forgot to pack his homework folder on the due date. DH and DS both got into the car, they were about to leave and DS exclaimed, I forgot to bring my homework! I need to go in and get it! DH just ignored him and drove off to school lol. I really applaud DH for that "mental strength" because I often can't help myself but ask "did you pack xyz"...etc. And I'd probably let him go back and get his folder.</p> <p>@Corduroy: I like the walkie talkie idea!! A LOT! Ahhh, So many times I couldn't take him out to play because I need to stay inside and cook, but theoretically I am just 30 steps away from outside and I so wish I can let him go outside and play while I am cooking. The only thing is, our neighborhood is a cul de sac and theoretically anyone can drive in. I watch too much of those 20/20 type shows about kidnappers and I am often so afraid of leaving him alone outside. Is your neighborhood similar or are there anything that prevent strangers from wandering in? Did your neighbors ever get in trouble / complaints that they are leaving minors unattended? Just want to make sure I don't get arrested if I do that :silly: </p> <p>@Mamaof2: Yes he knows how to set the alarm, in fact he knows how to use any kind of digital device way better than I do :grin: I think DH's point is at 6, he should be given freedom / autonomy if he is able to follow rules and show self restraint. On top of that, DH said he will set the ipad to lock up after a certain amount of time and if that happens there could be consequence? I am not entirely sure how it works yet.</p> <p>I know what you mean -- we've been working on the "when the alarm rings, please bring the ipad back to me. This way I can trust you and let you play the next time and trust that you will always stop when time's up." He's pretty good about it about 80% of the time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799052 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 09:20:18 +0000 Mamaof2 2799052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I think your DS does a lot of great things right now and at age 6 he doesnt need to automatically add x,y, and z to them. Whatever you do i would do gradually.</p> <p>As far as using the iPad for 20 and knowing when the time is over - That's tough - my 9yr old cant even do this - they get engrossed on the screen and time flies. If you want your DS to have independence there show him how to set the timer himself </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799050 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 09:17:30 +0000 Corduroy 2799050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: My oldest is almost 5 and I’m impressed by your list already. My six year old neighbors are free to play in the neighborhood unsupervised outside. They’ve had that independence for at least a year - with the responsibility to carry a walkie talkie. We’re working towards that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799045 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 08:52:15 +0000 looch 2799045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The stuff for my son that we're working on is related to being in school.</p> <p>I told him that basically, he's responsible to tell me if there are projects that need to be done, or if he needs books to complete the reading log homework that they have weekly. It's been a work in progress, particularly with the homework, so for now, I choose the material and assign it for the week and it's on him to do it and make sure the log gets into his backpack on Friday.</p> <p>I also want him to make sure that he knows his schedule and which days he needs gym clothes, for example. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799042 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 08:00:19 +0000 bhbee 2799042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following! My oldest is 6 this week too. I thought your list was pretty good! We don’t have all of those down. I work on the privacy stuff in terms of respectfulness to others, they are old enough to really understand manners of all types, and helpfulness at home. I figured wanting privacy for themselves will come soon enough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-for-6-year-old#post-2799039 Tue, 23 Jan 2018 07:55:10 +0000 irene 2799039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS and my friend's DS are both turning 6 in a week. My friend has been saying that there needs to be a lot of big changes when her DS turns 6, that she would like him to be a lot more independent. </p> <p>While I agree but to me, both of our kids are very independent and I am wondering what else we could add onto the list to help them become more self sufficient. The things that my DS has been doing as a 5 year old:</p> <p>- sets alarm clock and gets up each morning on his own<br /> - gets dressed and come down on his own<br /> - puts dishes in dishwasher, wipes table, sweeps floor after each meal at home<br /> - gets his own milk (starting recently)<br /> - packs his school bag each morning<br /> - sets the table sometimes at dinnertime<br /> - takes a shower by himself<br /> - makes his bed (occasionally)<br /> - folds 55-65% of his own laundry<br /> - ties his shoelaces</p> <p>My friend's DS knows how to clean his face in the bathroom after a meal which DS still needs to work on.</p> <p>My friend said for them, at 6 years old we need to have more of a sense of privacy, as in we can't barge into the bathroom when someone is in it, or expect help during showertime, or you need to get dressed prior to coming out of the bathroom/room...etc.</p> <p>DH was telling DS that when he turns 6, over the weekend, if he does xyz (chores), he can just go get the ipad for 20 minutes of play time and he should know when to stop, instead of having to ask us to unlock the ipad and setting an alarm for the permitted time.</p> <p>What other ideas would you think one can implement for a 6 year old for positive change + independence? It doesn't have to be a chore / responsibility, it can be a privilege/ rule ...etc.</p> <p>ETA: When do they go to the public bathroom all on their own? Right now I am still taking him to the ladies' room and I wonder when do I slowly change that.... but at the same time I am afraid he'd get locked in the stalls and couldn't get out by himself (happened on the airplane one time, yikes), or touch the urinals when he's peeing (yuck), or couldn't get soap /reach the sink and what not. haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2734241 Thu, 11 May 2017 07:30:41 +0000 irene 2734241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: We are also living in a cul-de-sac where there are all boys! Three of them are 5 (including DS), and then 2 of them are older. I am soooo tempted to be one of the parents that you are baffled by lol. It is such a fight because after I pick DS up from school at around 4:30pm, I have to cook and many times he'd want to stay outside and play.... but I just couldn't be out there when I have to get dinner on the table at the same time. Even when there are other kids and parents outside, I feel bad because I don't want them to feel that I am taking them for granted watching my child when I am "chilling" inside the house! Confession: There were quite a few times I told him to draw with side walk chalk on our driveway, do NOT get into the road, and if he sees cars/strangers drive into the cul-de-sac please run back immediately, and I would walk out to check on him and I would tell him to come back to check with me every 5-10 mins. I would never let him ride his bike or scooter on his own without me being there though at this age. A couple of times my neighbor saw him outside drawing by himself (I was right inside in the kitchen) she would ask him where's your mommy. Oh Lord. I bet she wants to call children services on me. lol. Sigh. I never fancy a big gated back yard until now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2734213 Wed, 10 May 2017 23:48:18 +0000 ALV91711 2734213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: We live on a cul de sac too. I'm hoping by the end of the summer or next summer he will be ready to go out there on his own. He's just not quite there yet at 4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2734207 Wed, 10 May 2017 23:26:00 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2734207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He wakes up before me, and before he comes in my bedroom, he takes off his pajamas and pull up, puts them in the laundry and throws away the pull up, picks out his clothes for the day and gets dressed all on his own. It's so wonderful to not have to nag him all morning to get dressed!! It saves a lot of time. </p> <p>@ALV91711: we live on a cul de sac and I let my five year old go bike in the cul de sac without me there. I check up on him occasionally, but he knows the road rules. I think a little independence is healthy :) the neighbor boys are often out playing on their own too- though they're a bit older (7&amp;9). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2734205 Wed, 10 May 2017 22:58:06 +0000 ALV91711 2734205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Since I wrote that he's refused to pick out his clothes!! lol. There are a lot of kids on our block, mostly boys, ages 4-6. A lot of them are out there playing and riding bikes and the parents are nowhere to be seen. This baffles me. We let DS go ride bikes with them but we stay out front and keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't go to far or go on the road. A couple more years and your DS can go into your yard on his own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2734204 Wed, 10 May 2017 22:26:16 +0000 irene 2734204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: I love how you have the option to have your LO go play in the yard by himself! We have a tiny backyard and a non-existent front yard that is not gated , so someone has to be with DS whenever he wants to go out :( DS picks out his own outfits too! Just that he always pick the non-weather-appropriate things, such as choosing to wear a big sweater when it will be 90 degrees outside :P Then he feels so defeated when I explain to him why he has to go change... poor thing...!</p> <p>@808love: Ahhh! DS had a "phase" where he woke up and get ready all by himself BEFORE I got up too on weekdays, and it was heaven! Now he reverted back to having me woke him, over and over and over for 10-15 mins ..... but yes, I agree, that is such a time safer they woke up and get ready all by themselves! </p> <p>@looch: Hahhaah you are cracking me up. my DH and you will be best friends.</p> <p>@azjax: That is sooooo nice! Sigh. DS is 5 now, and he still wipes his nose with his sleeve or back of his hands regardless of how many times we told him to use a tissue for the past 3 years. We could get him to wash his hands and cover his mouth while sneezing, but we have no luck at getting him to use tissue to wipe his runny nose, or anything really. grrrr... Today I was just telling him... do you know that very young babies as young as 18 months can wipe their nose with a tissue? hehe </p> <p>@mediagirl: True! I don't think I can do that if I had a girl. I am cool with that only because DS has super short hair!</p> <p>@erinbaderin: That is so sweet! DS used to enjoy feeding DH by picking up food and putting them into DH's mouth when he was 12 months old lol</p> <p>@wrkbrk: That is so nice!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2733651 Tue, 09 May 2017 10:29:53 +0000 wrkbrk 2733651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He plays independently in his room (we watch on the monitor) or alone in the yard for maybe 15-20 minutes at a time!</p> <p>He also tries to put on his own socks and shoes ... and tries to put our socks and shoes on us! He is 17 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2733588 Tue, 09 May 2017 08:06:41 +0000 erinbaderin 2733588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>B is 3 and has started bringing his and his brother's plates from the kitchen to the table and then back to the kitchen after they're done eating. He also likes to feed W, which is pretty adorable. Yesterday W (1) used a fork to stab a piece of chicken and put it in his mouth and B said "Good job, W, I'm so proud of you!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2733582 Tue, 09 May 2017 07:58:38 +0000 mediagirl 2733582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: congrats. That's big stuff to be able to wash themselves. </p> <p>I like to make sure all of DD's (5 in June) hair gets washed and rinsed properly but she can manage the rest in the bath. She is also good at brushing her teeth and her hair, making her bed (when told) and helping me cook. She likes to crack the eggs, measure and dump ingredients and start the mixer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-yay#post-2733572 Tue, 09 May 2017 07:50:00 +0000 azjax 2733572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 19 months old and has been wiping his nose (really well!) AND putting his snotty tissue in the waste basket! It makes me so happy :grin: </p>