https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 15:32:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048662 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:58:32 +0000 mrskc 2048662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For my showers we always sent an invite to family out of town. It feels gift grabby to me too but we didn't want them to feel left out. We sent them to grandparents and aunts out of town. My aunt who is about 6 hour drive away surprised us and came for my baby shower! So you never know sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048643 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:40:39 +0000 Hoots 2048643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm always the out-of-town invite that probably won't be able to make it. I'm always a bit hurt when I don't at least get invited to things and then see pictures on social media later. So my vote is to invite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048631 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:28:27 +0000 JerricaBenton 2048631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for family it's normal and expected for them to be invited. Mine would have been hurt if we didn't invite them and fwiw a few drove together and made the 8+ hour trip and cane down for the weekend to attend my shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048628 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:24:56 +0000 Smurfette 2048628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would invite them. Even though they can't come, I think it is a nice gesture so they know you wish they could come. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048621 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:17:45 +0000 Mamasig 2048621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: if it was a close or even semi close family member I would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048445 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 02:05:00 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2048445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphin: how does a guest know it's a "courtesy" invite? Meaning the host is not expecting them to do anything come or send a gift. Does the host call them before to givd them a heads up and say "I know you can't make it, but I just wanted you to know we were thinking of you."? Would courtesy invites leave out registry info? Obviously people can Google names to find registries if they really wanted to send a registry gift.</p> <p>@Mamasig: what if your family member didn't have a shower- just the baby- would you send a gift?</p> <p>I guess I struggle with this a bit because our true friends &amp; close family live 4 hour car rides away or plane rides away. When I get invites to housewarmings, showers, bday partues and weddings- all traditional events that you don't come empty-handed I really believe my friends/ family want to see me. We don't get together often throughout a year, so a milestone for them is as good as any excuse to physicaly show up &amp; support. They can just as easily tell me these things in their lives and I can root for them from afar. I don't need an invite to feel included in their lives. An invite without a real desire for me to show up in the flesh feels manipulative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048439 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 01:53:36 +0000 Sapphiresun 2048439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My rule of thumb when it comes to "courtesy invites" is if you would legitimately be thrilled if they made it, invite them. I think for family especially, it's always nice to be invited. We had a few long distance relatives that surprised us by showing up at our events - think that random cousin that adds a couple dys onto a business trip to be around for my baby shower since she had the invite. </p> <p>I think the gift grabby-ness comes into play when you're inviting like.... your ex-coworkers, husband's cousin that you met at a party five years ago. Not for family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048410 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 23:42:22 +0000 Mamasig 2048410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A friend once told me it's nice to be invited to the party even if you can't make it. I agree. I would expect an invitation from a family member even if it was out of town. The whole purpose of a shower is for gifts. People know and expect it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048393 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 23:07:23 +0000 Astro Bee 2048393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Macintosh: are these family members that you are particularly close to? I ask because we have a really big family spread across the country (I have 18 first cousins on each side of the family!), and I'm not particularly close to a lot of them. If I received an invite for a shower for one of them or vice versa, they did for me, I'm pretty sure we'd both thing it was a little gift grabby. Now if it was for a cousin that I was really close to, I'd hope to get the invite, so that I could send a gift, even though I might not be able to attend. Of course, I'd also be okay with asking for registry info in that case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048377 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:28:58 +0000 dolphin 2048377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with your mom! I think family members you are close to should get a courtesy invite whether they can make it or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048366 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:17:25 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2048366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would be nice to send to out of state family you are pretty close with. I know my mom and mother in law invited my out of state aunts and cousins. One of my cousins actually came from 8 hours away and I was very touched. It's a chance for them to not only see you at an exciting time but to see other family too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048332 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:38:30 +0000 regberadaisy 2048332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I opted not to send invites to people who live out of town. to me it seems gift grabby. They'll know you're pregnant and if they want to send a gift they'll send something irregardless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048328 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:35:51 +0000 Adira 2048328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I agree with you. We didn't invite my relatives to my shower who we KNEW wouldn't be able to come. I feel like that's just saying "Hey, send me a gift!" And the out-of-state relatives we did invite, we spoke to ahead of time to see if they'd be able to come before sending them an invitation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048322 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:31:26 +0000 MrsRcCar 2048322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh's family love all over. We always send and invite to them for anything. They like to be included even if they can't attend. My extended family is the same way. I guess what I am getting at is its normal in our circles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048318 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:29:21 +0000 loveisstrange 2048318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's family, I do think they'll expect an invite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048317 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:27:21 +0000 macintosh 2048317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, looks like some split opinions here. For the record, it's not just her family, it's my MIL, SIL, and my brothers fiancé. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2048009 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:04:22 +0000 PawPrints 2048009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a shower is pretty different from a wedding, party, or other event since a shower exists completely for the purpose of gift-giving. So for that reason, it is IMO gift-grabby to send invites to people who have no way to attend. It's not like a wedding or party where you'd like to make the person feel included in the festivities. On the other hand, though, you can't control how your shower hostess plans the shower. The people hosting my shower invited some people who were not on the list I gave them, and I was a little embarrassed about it since it could come across as gift-grabby, but there's not much you can do. You can only control so much (not much at all) when someone else is nice enough to host a party for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047975 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:48:25 +0000 Torchwood 2047975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It wound up being a fairly simple wedding, just finger food and cake (and cupcakes!) at the reception. We just got more food than we thought we'd need, and we were right. Since it wasn't a huge expense like actual meals (and there was no alcohol), it didn't matter much. And my parents worked for their church at the time, and the... totally blanking on the word! The room where the preacher preaches on Sunday. Whatever it's called, it held over 1000 so there was no risk of there not being room. As it was, more people showed than I would have expected. The weirdest was my dad's Sunday School teachers (a married couple). I'd never even met them before (my dad insisted on us inviting his entire Sunday School class, pretty sure it was because they prayed for my heathen soul all the time), and it was a 3 hour drive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047967 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:44:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2047967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think of any wedding or shower invite as a courtesy invite. On the surface I wouldn't immediately think I am getting invited just to buy a gift, but if I couldn't make it now for sure I am getting one because clearly my friend/family wanted me there. If your mom knows they want the registry info can't she just give it to them when she speaks to them over the phone or send it via email? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047959 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:39:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2047959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: 600! Did you ever work up the budget in case folks surprised you decided to come? Did they all RSVP? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047927 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:24:39 +0000 Torchwood 2047927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family has always sent invites to people who can't come. We wound up inviting 600 people to my wedding! Close friends and family accounted for maybe, *maybe* 100 of those. My family just believes in inviting everyone on the dang planet. So my mom definitely invited some family members to my shower that we knew couldn't/wouldn't come </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047917 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:22:03 +0000 turkeylurkey 2047917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always send my in-laws invitations to showers and bday parties. Even though we know they aren't coming. I also try to mail cards through the year with LO's picture. When I say in-laws I mean my DH's sister/family, aunts, uncles and grandparents. My husbands parents live here along with my family so of course they get invites. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047913 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:21:12 +0000 youboots 2047913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eh, I opted to not send an invite to people I knew could not attend. If they feel like sending a gift when the birth announcement comes that is up to them, but a shower invite did not sit well with me. We did send one to Ms grandma who lives out of state that we knew was making a quilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047901 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:18:51 +0000 blackbird 2047901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's courtesy since it's her family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047896 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:16:47 +0000 Anya 2047896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what you mean, I feel a little weird about it too, but since it's her family I'd leave it up to her. There are people out there who would be miffed about not receiving an invite even if it's totally unfeasible for them to come to the party! Hopefully your mom knows the invitees well enough to not send one to someone who would be offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/invite-etiquette#post-2047890 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 16:13:25 +0000 macintosh 2047890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is planning my shower and she is sending evites with the registry info. She wants to send invites to out of town family members that we know won't be coming. Her logic is that it's a courtesy invite and a way to get then the registry info.</p> <p>Is it just me or is this weird? It feels a little gift grabby to me. Thoughts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/party-invites#post-2029710 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 18:33:29 +0000 shopaholic 2029710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: 2 weeks?! Oh wow! I think no one would show up if we did that around here. </p> <p>Thanks for all the replies! I think I will aim for 6 weeks! Now got to get addresses! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/party-invites#post-2029045 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 07:01:30 +0000 illumina 2029045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sent ours out 6 weeks in advance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/party-invites#post-2029040 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 06:07:27 +0000 Kimberlybee 2029040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So fast, another birthday for your baby already! Happy party planning!! I mailed ours out 5 weeks prior for her first birthday but I think 4-5 weeks is a good range. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/party-invites#post-2029008 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 01:46:50 +0000 HabesBabe 2029008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A month for friends and family works for us. If it's just grandparents and uncle, 2 weeks. </p>