https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 21:44:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839901 Wed, 15 Aug 2018 13:33:37 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: oh my goodness, i haven't read through yet, but wanted to thank you right away. thanks for such a thorough, thoughful response and for taking the time. It means a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839761 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 20:12:59 +0000 Amorini 2839761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stuckinitaly: Let's see. Good question and I had to think about that a little. I still might not have good answers here. </p> <p>- I think I didn't reach out for help or know where to get it. I would have found an online therapist to help me out -- someone from my culture. I definitely had culture shock (felt like depression) and that colored my ability to deal with all of the challenges. As a result, I felt really frozen in my new world for about a year or two.<br /> - A Hellobee-type community where I could interact with supportive people would have been good. (This community IS very supportive and not everyone is making babies right now, so you are welcome to stay! For me at that time in my life, I probably would have not joined here because I was definitely not into the idea of having a child where I was.)<br /> - I was in an expat group but not very active. Probably would have done more of that and pushed past by shyness. I think I just tried to shoulder too much when I didn't need to.<br /> - I wish I had more readily realized the small things that helped me warm up to the culture. Like getting a dog. That helped me and us (and my language skills) tremendously. I made friends that way -- people that I actually still like. I found a lot of shared humanity in other dog owners in my community, so it made me feel less isolated.<br /> - I would have liked to have found a few more touchpoints like the dog thing. As I am sitting hear, I can't think of what else I would have pursued where I could feel completely myself and not like a foreigner. Maybe yoga.<br /> - I never worked in my profession and that always made me feel crappy. It was just so competitive and I felt bad about my language skills for most of the time that I was there. I would have probably pushed myself harder to find something at least somewhat relevant. Not because I paid for it later on professionally, but I just think it would have helped immerse me...helped me feel more in my element. On this side of things, I can think of a few related jobs that I didn't consider pursuing then. </p> <p>Anyway, hindsight being 20/20 and all that, you can only do what you can. My husband didn't help me at all. Not because he was malicious but he had never left home before to know what that means. When he moved here, we were living in a new state and I knew no one either -- no nearby family and friends. I found it exciting to explore a new place with him and he felt depressed. And then soon after, he felt better after getting a full-time job in his profession and never really turned back. Six years later, he is coping better than I did in his country, but he's a vastly different person. From my perspective, there is more equal sharing of "life's burdens" (for a lack of a better way to say it!) in how we are faring in our US life than when we lived in Italy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839574 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 06:55:15 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: thanks so much :heart: without sharing more than you want, could you share how you "could have handled differently"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839570 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 05:54:53 +0000 Amorini 2839570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stuckinitaly: Sorry that you are in such a tough situation. I am married to a Northern Italian and we spent the first few years of our marriage in his hometown. Fortunately we were on our own (we were a bit older than where you are now), but I had similar issues with just the isolation, cultural differences and marital challenges. Due to so many cultural stereotypes about life in Italy and Italian mates, one of the hardest things about having my US family and friends provide support is that they couldn’t understand why I would be miserable. Looking back, I could see a few more ways that I might have handled things differently, but I think it was overall just a challenging culture for me professionally and relationally.</p> <p>After almost 10 years and a move back to the US, I can also say that it is still a challenging marriage. Moving here helped break through the major discomfort he had about seeking therapy (he still is uncomfortable but goes when he understands it’s vital). There are a lot more details that I don’t care to share but, to your issues, I would at 28 just focus on what is going to get me back to a sane, healthy self and delay the baby-making with this partner for a good long while. As another person said, you have time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839565 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 02:39:37 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: thank you! im travelling for work quite a bit so this will help i think. like, "when i come back im going straight from the airport to our new place, thank you."<br /> Yes! Babies complicate life and marriage exponentially, and my husband doesn't seem to know that or isn't afraid of that. More problems... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839563 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 00:23:29 +0000 oskarsmommy 2839563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>the fact that you came here looking for answers says everything IMO - GET OUT.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839533 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 20:05:17 +0000 SweetiePie 2839533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of what I think has already been said.<br /> I wouldn’t be ok with any of this. At all. It sounds extremely disrespectful and suffocating. </p> <p>And DO NOT have a baby in this state. Thinking a baby could fix things is probably the WORST myth there is. (Not saying you think this, it’s just a common misconception and for question is in that vicinity).<br /> My husband and I were SOLID before our first baby was born. Like best friends, no major issues, on the same page. Together 14 years. HAPPY. Very much planned and wanted baby via IVF. And it STILL rocked our world, sent us to marriage counseling, nearly broke us. The good news is that we also built ourselves back up to stronger than we ever were, HOWEVER we were already on solid ground before. So if we were shaky and one of us was so unhappy with major life decisions, it for sure would have ruined us. </p> <p>I’m really not sure what I would do in this situation. I think I might peace out for a while...like actually move back to NYC until he gets his shit together. And if that still doesn’t work, then...big decisions to be made. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839527 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 19:48:42 +0000 wrkbrk 2839527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stuckinitaly: It’s hard to judge someone else’s relationship but NONE of this would be ok with me. Regardless if you’ve told your spouse how you feel repeatedly and he has done nothing to change it, I’d walk. He sounds like he is hugely babied and not interested in taking someone else’s needs and desires into account.<br /> Good luck bee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839424 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 13:34:54 +0000 Mrsbells 2839424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like a complex situation. It wasnt really clear from your post but are you living in a home with his family? Is that what the apartment is for? So you can move out together? I wasnt sure if the apartment is for both of you or just for you.</p> <p>I didnt vote either but honestly it sounds like the majn source of the resentment is that you have moved your life over there and be doesnt get the sacrifice involved. Have you guys thought about moving to the US for a little while and maybe that will give him a clue on how you feel? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839369 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 11:09:36 +0000 smuckers 2839369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stuckinitaly: I did not meant to imply that I thought you were belittling his employment, so I SINCERELY apologize if it came off that way. </p> <p>I termed it under-employed, though, based on the way you juxtaposed your career vs his in the first paragraph. Honestly, that is probably just the difference of reading it vs. hearing it, and I absolutely could have been making assumptions based on phrasing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839367 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 11:00:47 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nutmeg36: thanks for your confirmation on the baby thing. You're totally right on not talking about his feelings, thats my pet peeve. </p> <p>He's been feeling happy living here, and feels like we're doing great now though he finds it annoying that i bring the apartment stuff and boundaries stuff up more than he likes (once a week or two). We're doing good day to day and he's working hard on parts of our relationship. I think its too big of a load to juggle and consider all the things we're working on. </p> <p>You might be projecting when you say im belittling him in terms of career. I was careful of that when i wrote the message out and wrote literally our job descriptions without deminishing his, and without inflating mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839359 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:30:33 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: thank you for your thoughtful response :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839358 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:29:09 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: hi there, thanks for your thoughts. we talk a lot, and in the moment he seems to understand but a few days later he'll suggest we go on vacation or show me he hasnt completely bought in from the way he talks about it his friends or whoever. </p> <p>Im not actually hiding twiddling my thumbs, i say hello for 10 min when they arrive, but they show up wo notice while i work. I work from home. </p> <p>Im asking him to help me get an apartment so i can set my own boundaries in my own home. He can visit his mom every day, its just im not going every single time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839351 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:18:18 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: thank you! I wasnt sure where to go, and out of curiosity/research im just casually reading on hellobee and know the community is really thoughtful. I ended up finding a fitting option when picked the topic 'preparing to think about a baby." Its a stretch i know... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839348 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:13:14 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BUNBUN: this is hard core exactly me situation. I can only help but laugh in relief! Thanks bunbun </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839347 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:12:15 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: thanks! Very confirming :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839346 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 10:10:19 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dear @josina, thank you for your thoughts. If i were to leave i know i would be fine financially and location wise! Thats for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839341 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 09:48:18 +0000 smuckers 2839341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote in the poll; I don't really think that I, as an internet stranger, have any idea what is best for your relationship. I also agree that maybe you're not in the right place on the internet for these questions, but maybe you don't know where else to go (I honestly do not either). If you take nothing else from my comment, though, take this away: DO NOT BRING CHILDREN INTO THIS SITUATION IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH HIS FAMILY DYNAMIC AND HE IS UNWILLING TO CHANGE IT. </p> <p>Do you WANT this relationship to move forward? If he did everything that you are asking, would he still be the man you married and fell in love with? I don't think that this is necessarily a "betrayal", as you phrased it, but he is obviously not prioritizing the things that you are. There is some miscommunication going on, from both sides, and I think you, as a couple, need to sit down and figure out where to go from here. As in, what is he not willing to move on, what are you not willing to move on, etc. </p> <p>There sounds like there is a HUGE cultural difference between what you both expect of each other. I sincerely encourage you to think about this from his perspective, and how he might have written this post. You haven't really talked about HIS feelings at all, other than to imply that he's under-employed (in your opinion), spoiled and living off of Mama, and completely enmeshed with his family. I defer back to there perhaps being major cultural differences on the latter 2 points, and would suggest that while you cannot control the first, you need to decide if that is your hill to die on.</p> <p>Moral of the story: Talking with your partner is in order here. I don't think wanting your own apartment/space is being ridiculous or over-dramatic, but he may want something else. Good luck, truly, for however it works out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839330 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 09:18:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2839330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote either because I don't think it's to the point where you need to leave; I think by venting here, you probably are still have some hope and want to work things out so you can move forward. I just think there are a LOT of cultural differences and I think part of it is he really cannot see where you're coming from b/c he is so accustomed to his lifestyle/culture, etc. I think it IS possible to work it out but it will probably take a lot of counseling and willingness from him to really come to your level and see things from your perspective. At the same time, like @BUNBUN: said, this stuff is so ingrained that the end result may just be that you need to leave and you will find what you're looking for with someone else. </p> <p>I'm very sorry you're going through this and in a foreign country with no village/tribe :sad: I hope you'll be able to do some soul searching and get him to do the same and make the best decision for you both :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839329 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 09:10:10 +0000 kiddosc 2839329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From just this snippet of detail, it sounds like you want very different things in life. He wants nothing more but than to be near his family, let his mom take care of him, and have fun all day. You want a career, and an apartment, and a nuclear family of your own. You have given up and changed everything for him and he hasn't done anything for you. </p> <p>These are fundamental differences and I would be very alarmed that he's not even open to discussing your feelings or acknowledging the ways that his wants have influenced your feelings. I'm interested to know how you met and how much time you spent together and where before you were married. Did he do a complete 180 after marriage, or did you know the situation going in?</p> <p>On the flip side. I think it's completely unreasonable of you to only agree to see one member of his family every two weeks and to hide in your room like a child when they come to visit. I understand that your feelings are hurt and that you are not feeling validated by your husband, but it sounds like you are asking him to give up everything because you did. In reality, you two need to come to some sort of compromise to even have a chance of working it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839323 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 08:50:51 +0000 LCTBQE 2839323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1. I don't think this website is the right forum for your problem.<br /> 2. It's incredibly clear that you don't want the same things and IMO, I don't see how the marriage will survive with everything you've written<br /> 3. You're still young enough to course correct your life, which is great--lots of people find themselves in bad situations much older when they're more stuck<br /> 4. Adding kids to this situation would be disastrous </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839322 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 08:48:36 +0000 BUNBUN 2839322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so very sorry that you are in this situation. I think you are very wise to be questioning and trying to figure out what you need to be happy, at least the things you can control. It also sounds like you have a lot going on both personally and professionally.<br /> I personally could not have been the mom and student that I wanted to be while in grad school. I am THRILLED that I waited until I was done with my PhD and post-doc before we had our 1st (for reference, I was 36 when he was born).</p> <p>Let me preface this by saying that I am not married to an Italian, but this sounds like some profound cultural differences that you may or may not be able to work through together. The proximity to his family (and the virtual co-habitation) do not help, but you are also so outnumbered where you are. My DH's family is European. They live in the US, but it's a different cultural dynamic from my family. They are almost (this is not the right word, but I don't know what is), co-dependent. It's not "you take care of yourself" it's more "I'll do this for you and you do this for me and of course you'll drop everything when I need you because we are family but I expect the same" A close friend (who is from Portugal) noticed this dynamic and she sat me down years ago and told me "he is European. He may be American, but he was raised European and his parents will ALWAYS rank as high as you. You have to decide if you can live with that"<br /> I can, but the best thing we ever did was move 1/2 way across the county when we first got married. I forced us to rely on each other and only each other.</p> <p>I don't know if that's your situation or not, but I think there are some issues at play that you are going to have to decide if you can live with. Do you have any local or expat friends who might be able to open up to? Anyone who might know how to get through to him? Or tell you if this is so typical that you'll just have to live with this forever?</p> <p>I wish you luck. I hope you can find the answers you are looking for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839321 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 08:46:50 +0000 Adira 2839321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote, but I DON'T think you should be having children at this point.</p> <p>If you want to work things out, you should seek out counseling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839314 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 08:21:25 +0000 josina 2839314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote because I'm not sure any of your poll answers are 'the' answer.<br /> It does sound like a very difficult situation and you have done very well in that you put yourself out there and made friends in an unfamiliar place.<br /> It is very reasonable to want your own apartment as a married couple, with your own space. You have every right to be pissed if he sabotaged that.<br /> I think you do need to be firm, set a date on to when you want your own apartment as a couple, and if he can't make that happen, then maybe leaving is your only option. Would you go back to New York or?<br /> ETA: I absolutely wouldn't bring kids into this situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-wary-moving-forward-with-our-marriage-and-starting-a-family#post-2839290 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 04:20:52 +0000 stuckinitaly 2839290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi there, thanks in advance for taking time to read and respond. It means a lot. </p> <p>I moved from New York City to Turin, Italy on January 18, 2018. I’m 28, consulting business owner and Ph.D. candidate. My husband is 33 has been waiting tables and is now at a month-long yoga teacher training. I want to have a baby and start a family, but I don’t feel safe to do that with him right now. I have needs I shared with him that I took responsibility for and took care of my part, but he failed on his part and keeps showing me he doesn’t understand that failure. I’m sharing some details for clarity, but I’m not so interested in that. </p> <p>I’d love your advice on how heavily to weigh this feeling not safe in our marriage. Is this a huge breach of my trust in my husband (I think so...)? What questions should I be asking myself? </p> <p>Context </p> <p>I’m alone in Italy, everyone important in my husband’s life is white and Italian, and I don’t like Italian food or culture. So, I took responsibility for that situation because after all, I chose to be in this situation:</p> <p>I need to have two or three close friends that I can hang out with once a month. So, I searched, asked, and found an art club on facebook and went to the club and participated multiple times. Through there, I found two nice friends (and many others I call friendly acquaintances). I found another friend through facebook. I hang out with them once a month or so like I like. I’m happy with that.</p> <p>I need to have my own space where I can put my own stuff and no one touches it, and no one can go inside. This is especially the case in Italy. I personally started searching online for Turin apartments while I was in New York since August 2017. I wanted (1) to be in a neighborhood with mostly brown people close to the open air market, (2) I wanted a room to myself for my office and just to have my own space. </p> <p>What’s going on now.</p> <p>March, April, May, June, July, August, we physically looked for apartments. I’m used to looking and finding an apartment in at most three months. Normal is two months to visit, sign, offer, and close. We both compromised without landing on any apartments my husband likes. By June, I lost patience and became resentful. I felt he sabotaged my getting an apartment twice (because of a small kitchen, and because of a ‘vibe’ on the street he didn’t like). </p> <p>He has everything here. He has 8 close friends in town. He has his mommy, his sister, his grandma, his uncles (2 of them), his aunts (2 of them). I have nothing here. He has the apartment his mom owns and where his 35-year-old sister and he 33 lives for free. Their mom comes to do their laundry, folds their clothes, sweeps the floor, wash the dishes, organize closets, pay to fix appliances, does their grocery shopping, and cooks them food. He has too much to the point it’s embarrassing. Beyond abundant. </p> <p>I have nothing but him here. The apartment is what I need. It’s not actually for him. </p> <p>Resentment </p> <p>The only thing I needed was my own room where I can close the door. my husband knew why I need it. He should know and respect who I am. I waited so long, that I am giving up on what I need and taking what I can get. </p> <p>+ + + </p> <p>Along the way, as we searched, he called for appointments, we saw houses, these things happened. I wrote him this, in anger:</p> <p>No to the apartment, Yes to the beach:<br /> You suggested we get an apartment later and instead, use what I saved to go to the beach. It's only you who wants to go to the beach. So then, when will you be able to save 2,500 euros to get an apartment? You will be able to save $200 a month at most for an apartment. That will take 12 months. Next time you save thousands of dollars for something specific, can I suggest I use it just for myself? I would never do that. You wanted me to wait to move into an apartment January 2019. That's disrespectful.</p> <p>Alone paying New York rent<br /> I told you I was struggling to pay rent by myself over the phone, at the time you said you have no responsibility, it's not your problem. That's disrespectful. I paid $10,000+ total for six months rent in New York on my own without help while you were in Turin. It was terrible. I had no money, and was left with nothing. Next time you have to work your ass off to spend tens of thousands of dollars on something because of me and I can't help, can I tell you I don't care? I don't think I would ever do that. Anyways, I still came to Italy in January for some reason.<br /> I don't care about the money. I'm explaining this to show how off-balance things are: What I did (work my ass off specifically because of you) versus what you've said.</p> <p>I don't care that I had to work my ass of because of you. That's what being in a partnership with someone is.</p> <p>I DO care that I don't feel at peace.You told me, "I said I'm sorry about your position in New York." That sorry does not make me feel at peace with everything you did.</p> <p>I need you to explain to me that you understand your role in this, that you caused these things. I want you to resolve this so I can move on.</p> <p>Most days we're doing fine. For you, every day is great. It is also not healthy to let your partner standing next to you to hold anger and resentment against you, without you talking it out it properly.</p> <p>+ + + </p> <p>Simply, I told him that I need my own space. I have no interest in having so much proximity to his family, his sister, his mom, his aunt, his grandma. I can see one family member every two weeks. </p> <p>He didn’t take my need seriously or take his part of the responsibility, so now, his grandma calls me every day three times a day. I don’t pick up anymore because I don’t want to talk to his grandma that I can barely communicate with who only pressures me to do what I tell her I don’t want to do. So now, I get pissed off when his family shows up unannounced. It’s their house and they don’t come only to see me obviously. They’re coming to see him and his sister who live here. I don’t need to be in this situation. I don’t care and stay in my room but his mom will knock on the door and tell me “we’re out here.” I’m put in a situation that a child would be in, that inevitably makes me look like a child and be treated like a child. </p> <p>For color, the house we're staying in is extremely dirty- dusty, moldy, sticky. I've cleaned so much and bought new stuff for that house that isn't mine. I'm in an italian family, so of course I still get told what to do in the house. </p> <p>Overall, my husband still thinks it’s not such a big deal and that I just need to be patient. </p> <p>I’m sharing some details for clarity, but I’m not so interested in that.</p> <p>I’d love your advice on how heavily to weigh this feeling not safe in our marriage. Is this a huge breach of my trust in my husband (I think so...)? What questions should I be asking myself? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/travel-bees-how-do-i-plan-a-trip-to-italy#post-2395262 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 22:04:22 +0000 808love 2395262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I went to Venice and Florence, I got most of my stuff from Rick Steves books/podcasts, a few tips from friends and my hotel website. Here is the tourism website for Venice (Venezia) <a href="http://www.visit-venice-italy.com/address-tourist-board-venice-italy.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.visit-venice-italy.com/address-tourist-board-venice-italy.htm</a> . Also there is a way to get your Uffizi museum tix online so that you don't have to stand in line (yes, trust me, do this.) We didn't drive at all but saw a ton of tourist stuff in our short stay. We also closed the restaurant down, drinking with the locals!!<br /> We LOVED our trip!! Still want to go back but DH doesn't want to go international for awhile. Boo!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/travel-bees-how-do-i-plan-a-trip-to-italy#post-2395006 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 12:00:57 +0000 futuremama 2395006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have found Trip Advisor forums really helpful in the past. You can often find other people's itineraries with comments from people who are familiar with the areas. That iften helps me narrow down what I'm interested in doing seeing and understanding what is feasible with my timeline. I like to explore on vacation, but I never want to feel over booked and come back needing to recover. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/travel-bees-how-do-i-plan-a-trip-to-italy#post-2394872 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 03:12:16 +0000 hellobeeboston 2394872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Tanjowen: !!<br /> Fly into Rome, from DC that should be your best bet. Do Rome for 2-3 days, then rent a car and do the Amalfi Coast. So so pretty and chill. Stay in Positsno or on Capri! Or pick one of the smaller towns. (Don't travel to Italy in August FYI)</p> <p>Or, fly to Milan, and visit Lake Como, Venice, northern Italy. Drive or plan train travel. </p> <p>I'm partial to Florence too. If you're into wine you can tour the Chianti region and Tuscany. It's really easy to have a car and do this. If you want rent a home in Tuscany, use that as home base and just travel all of the smaller towns surrounding Florence. The island of Elba is part of Tuscany and pretty great. At least it was when I stayed there 12 years ago, and that could be an overnight. </p> <p>I would research what part of Italy interests you most and narrow down a region, then take it from there!! Agree with another about using Trip Advisor to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/travel-bees-how-do-i-plan-a-trip-to-italy#post-2394853 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 00:51:20 +0000 PawPrints 2394853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely go for more than a week! Flying across that many time zones, you'll lose at least a day and a half adjusting to the time difference alone, and then you'll need some additional transit days if you want to hit more than one region. I would do at least two weeks for Italy.</p> <p>Start with TripAdvisor and just look around at top destinations in Italy and start a Pinterest board to keep track of places and photos that make your heart beat faster. Then work out the details from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/travel-bees-how-do-i-plan-a-trip-to-italy#post-2394844 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 23:55:17 +0000 dc yoga bee 2394844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks! I say a week because I can't imagine being away from LO for two weeks; let alone one!!! But, maybe we should wait for when she's older when we feel more comfortable being away longer! </p>