https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 07:06:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2775347 Mon, 25 Sep 2017 12:43:22 +0000 FancyGem 2775347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: Yay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2775344 Mon, 25 Sep 2017 12:36:06 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2775344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: Glad to hear it! And if he's offering to help you, you really need to start saying yes. The household responsibilities do not fall squarely on your shoulders. He lives there too, and even though he started a new job, he's OFFERING to help you. Just say yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2775260 Mon, 25 Sep 2017 09:28:15 +0000 CC Mommy 2775260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE: My freezer is stocked with Trader Joe's meals, I have leftover meatloaf in the fridge, plus ingredients for a meal my husband volunteered to cook for us one day this week and I was completely guilt-free when he asked me if he could help with dinner and I suggested the dishes instead. (Also, I canceled a social engagement on Saturday and we had a leisurely meal out and a quiet evening at home, instead.) I feel well-rested and equipped to balance everything that is coming this week. Thank you for all of your advice :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774780 Thu, 21 Sep 2017 17:19:16 +0000 MaryM 2774780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On ironing... My mom always did my dad's shirts and it was a huge chore because she hated ironing. </p> <p>I think it was the luck of getting married later in life, but DH has always taken anything that has to be ironed to the dry cleaners to be washed and ironed. I'm so thankful I never had to keep up with them (especially when he was working daily in a shirt and tie). It's usually inexpensive for shirts, and I think my time is worth more than the dollar or so we spend per shirt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774755 Thu, 21 Sep 2017 14:18:06 +0000 CC Mommy 2774755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: I feel you! TGIF!! I am feeling 10 times better after a little rest and I am about to pull out the studies during an afternoon slow period at work. I like the idea of thinking about it like that--make something special when you feel up to it (then it feels like you have something to look forward to, even when you are having take-out or frozen meals :) ) Enjoy your Friday everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774720 Thu, 21 Sep 2017 12:05:48 +0000 petitenoisette 2774720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: I am ALL about delegating and my DH doing his fair share at home but I still do feel that twinge of guilt sometimes when I ask him to do something, especially if it's normally my task. But I feel it and then I just let. it. go. Hopefully it will lessen for you as time goes on and you develop a new normal. </p> <p>Also I feel you on the trader joe's meals, those used to be almost a luxury for us and only when I really didn't have time or energy to cook and now it's like once or twice a week we have them. It's just what is necessary for this life stage! I love cooking but it's too much while working full time, pregnant for me a toddler too. Save the real cooking for when you feel up to it! :) </p> <p>Hope you are feeling better and less stressed soon and it's almost Friday! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774689 Thu, 21 Sep 2017 10:45:54 +0000 CC Mommy 2774689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: @PURPLEDAISY: Re: learning to juggle with baby/cutting back... @BECKY: I will definitely try those quick meal options!! You ladies are right--I have no idea what I am in for when the baby comes--I won't have school and I will cut back to part-time work for the foreseeable future at that point, but I will still have to learn to juggle many things and care for my LOs brand new schedule... on sleep deprivation, most likely! I am very glad to be having these conversations, now. At least I can have some quick go-to solutions for the unknown schedule juggling to come!! Thank you!!!</p> <p>@2PEASINAPOD: @MAMA BIRD: @FANCYGEM: @MRSADS: Re: Delegation/Freezer Meals I have to take a lot of the blame here, I caught myself apologizing to my DH this week because he had to do the ironing--he just started a new job and is dealing with that stress and adjustment and I want to help him more, but clearly my body is telling me that I need to cut back and I know my DH would happily help (I caught him doing dishes w/o me asking today, but I still felt guilty--what is wrong with me???? LOL) Honestly, though--hearing how other respectable, successful moms handle these situations has encouraged me to let him help (and remind him when he is responsible for something) and to have grace if something is not done exactly how I do it, or if he is forgetful about something. </p> <p>He is going to make Korean pulled pork sandwiches for our lunches next week and we will eat them all week and I am super excited about it (so, that's a start :) ) Thank you ladies!! (I'm also going to freeze a meatloaf tonight while I have time, to use when needed :) ...Oh, and I just moved, but will def. be looking for a dry cleaner near us that we like :) </p> <p>@GINGERBEBE: @2LITTLEPUMPKINS: @RASPBERRIES: @CATLADY: Re: Optimize Work-time/Prioritize and Prep, Thanks ladies, I brought some study materials with me today to utilize during my down time and I am stopping at Trader Joe's today to pick up more freezer meals (I always keep some--but, I say it's for "emergencies" reading this, I think I better just incorporate them into the game plan!) Also, I just discovered that Sprouts has excellent ready-made soups! Just F.Y.I. as the weather gets colder :happy: </p> <p>@PERIWINKLEBEE: I agree! I plan on systematically incorporating some of things into my life--something has to give, I think I was just thrown off by not being able to hang all of the sudden--my schedule used to be worse and I handled more! I hope you get things settled soon, too!! Let me know how it goes :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774612 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 21:50:13 +0000 periwinklebee 2774612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to say I sympathize, as I'm 23 weeks and feel like I have yet to experience the 2nd tri energy boost. I'm also trying to figure out what I can further cut out, and the suggestions here have been great. I hope things calm down and you feel better soon :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774592 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 19:48:32 +0000 Mama Bird 2774592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: I'm sorry. Been there. I did call in sick a lot when I was feeling my worst - not full days, but I'd work 7 hours out of 8 and take the 8th as sick time (do you have that option?) And I think you should have a serious talk with your husband and drop whatever responsibilities you can. Like, make picking up dinner his responsibility on a regular schedule so he can remember better, and if he still keeps forgetting, eat frozen dinners for a week until he starts to remember. If you're saying yes to extra stuff at work, I totally get having to prove yourself before you're out on leave, but step back because it's making you sick. If someone is asking you to run errands for them, nicely turn them down and tell them you haven't been feeling your best. </p> <p>And maybe have your doc check for anemia, just in case. If that's part of the problem, changing your diet or supplements can also help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774589 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 19:25:06 +0000 Becky 2774589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>During my second pregnancy I got really sick (bronchitis, maybe the flu? Non-stop chest and nasal congestion, a sinus infection, exhaustion, etc) because I was doing what it sounds like you're doing. I finally took a day off work, and then a second day, but by that time I think it was too late--I really never got better until after I had the baby. I would have taken even more off, but my older daughter was hospitalized with RSV and I had to take another 3 days off for that. I finally stopped doing anything I didn't absolutely have to because I knew how much harder labor and delivery would be if I was run down. I would highly, highly recommend slowing down just like your mom is saying. </p> <p>Others advice about delegation and also figuring out what you can let go of is great. If you have to make dinner and get your child in bed alone because your husband gets home late, he could always do the dishes when he comes home, for example. For easy meals, this post was great: <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2017/09/12/10-dinners-i-make-and-serve-in-ten-minutes-or-less/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2017/09/12/10-dinners-i-make-and-serve-in-ten-minutes-or-less/</a></p> <p>There were a lot of things I let go of after having #2, and knowing it was temporary made it much easier. We still eat very simple meals, but I know when #2 is closer to 3 years old I'll have more time to get creative. I barely exercised for months due to sleep deprivation, but 9 months in I was finally able to sleep enough that I could work out more. Another thing: I don't bring work home anymore. </p> <p>I hope you can get into a groove and step back a bit 😊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774581 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 18:49:27 +0000 Purpledaisy 2774581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: what is your typical day like that you're running around 12-16 hours a day?</p> <p>Life is busy and will get even more busy with a baby. I had to do some readjusting in my priorities after baby #2 was born. I work part time and go to school full time. A big thing for me was letting go of getting A's and accepting B's and even a couple of C's. I think that you just have the decide what can be let go of in your life. For me, my kids are #1, I can't work less right now, I still need time for DH, plus cooking and cleaning need to get done. School was where I can compromise. </p> <p>For your food situation, I would suggest meal planning, grocery shopping once a week, meal prepping on the weekend, and having easy go-to staples for during the week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774572 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 17:47:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2774572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also think ahead to when the baby is here. Yes you may not have school work, but you'll still have to figure out how to get out of the house in the morning (plus a baby and more stuff!), add in daycare pick up drop off and the amount of time that would take, and assume not really being able to run errands on weeknights. Reflect on say how much time it takes you to get ready in the morning. Will you have that much time with a baby? What can you cut back on in your schedule now? Set out an outfit the night before, wash hair the night before and dry overnight, limit make up? For meal times do you spend time gathering ideas and supplies and prepping? How can you reduce that? We can have a meal on the table in like 20 minutes most nights. </p> <p>You'll be forced to do all this once baby comes. And DH will have to step up to help then anyways. Get him on board now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774534 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 15:29:54 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2774534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others about delegation (aside from delegating to your husband). One of the things both DH and I fell behind on was ironing. We just didn't have the time to do it any longer, so we started taking his shirts and anything of mine that needed ironing to the dry cleaner. $2/shirt is worth it for me not to have to sit around ironing all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774509 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 14:06:12 +0000 FancyGem 2774509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have to delegate things to others. Don't have time to clean, then hire a housekeeper. Don't have time to meal prep, then buy or hire someone else to meal prep. Don't have time to do laundry, then hire a laundry service. You would be surprised that some of these things are not very expensive. I had someone come over and deep clean my home. It released so much stress. Now I can focus on the smaller and more manageable things that I need to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774507 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 13:56:41 +0000 gingerbebe 2774507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: Oh, no joke, with my first pregnancy, I kept a sleeping bag and pillow under my desk and I would close the door in my office and legit sleep during my lunch break. I know people who also went to their cars to sleep. Even a 30 minute nap would help me limp through the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774502 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 13:44:12 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2774502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Prioritize. I agree to stop worrying so much about the food and if you can throw money at any problem like food then do it. But first put it on your husband. If he forgets dinner he can get back in the car and deal with it! I know with this pregnancy when I push it just makes it worse, everything from nausea to dizziness and pain. Also for me social engagements are mentally relaxing but also tiring so maybe cut back a little on that and see if it helps. Hang in there- that second trimester energy boost is relative too. Ive had different periods of different energy levels throughout all three of my pregnancies. Right now I'm at the tail end of the second trimester in my third pregnancy and some days are great and others I barely wanna stand up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774452 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 12:46:47 +0000 raspberries 2774452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the most important thing for me was learning to say no to things - just because someone's invited you to a birthday party or a game night or a fall festival doesn't mean you have to go. Get used to telling people you'll go if you feel up to it.</p> <p>As for juggling the normal things in life - work, school, family... I really think it's an exercise in prioritizing. I actually enjoy grocery shopping and cooking dinner, but when I was pregnant, I'd work from 9-6, cook an elaborate dinner, and not actually get off my feet and ready to relax until 7:30 or 8 when I'd be ready to pass out from exhaustion. Meal prepping during the weekend, crock pot meals, buying more freezer foods you just toss in a pan for 15 minutes, those steamable bags of veggies for the microwave - all of those things had dinner finished by 6:30 and gave me some much needed time to unwind.</p> <p>And one other tip - make use of your lunch break at work (assuming you have one.) Instead of mindlessly looking at my phone while I had lunch, I started using that hour to check things off (call the electric company, pay credit cards, study, etc.) and I felt SO much better since I felt like I was at least chipping away at the never ending to-do list. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774450 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 12:40:21 +0000 MrsADS 2774450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2peasinapod I agree. I don't know why he isn't doing more? He can pack your lunches and prepare simple meals. It is not hard to pick up take out. Or buy some easy freezer stuff that just requires heating up. Think mandarin chicken from Trader Joe's - put on cookie sheet, put in oven, put steamer bag of veggies and rice in microwave, done. You need to sit down and specifically delegate to him what he has to do. He needs to get used to it now before the baby comes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774444 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 12:13:14 +0000 catlady 2774444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One thing we do (normally, not just when I have been pregnant) is to eat the same foods over and over again. It's just easier to plan. We do green shakes every morning, I generally take the same lunch to work 4 out of 5 days, we always eat cut up veggies as a snack. So you get rid of mental load that goes into that. Yes, it can be boring but it is worth it to not have to think about it. </p> <p>Other things I did while pregnant to help deal with the stress:<br /> - Take a bus to/from work instead of walking some days (I have a walking commute so that was very hard for me)<br /> - Hire a cleaning woman to come every 2 weeks<br /> - Used family and babysitters more to help out with my toddler<br /> - Worked from home more often<br /> - Got a prescription for diclegis for the first 16 weeks or so (this was huge, made me feel so much better) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774441 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 12:02:58 +0000 gingerbebe 2774441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had ridiculous morning sickness with my eldest until like 26 weeks and then I felt AWESOME for 2 months, and then felt like a sleepy whale until delivery. With him, I was working full time and it was a high risk pregnancy. With DS2, I had an easier pregnancy (MS lifted at 16 weeks), but I had a toddler, I was working half-time, and DH was in business school while running his business and working another job. With DS2, I didn't get my energy back until 20ish weeks either. I get it.</p> <p>Basically, you throw money at the problem until your energy comes back. I basically always kept the ingredients to like 3 easy meals I could knock out in 20-30 minutes in my house, made enough to serve like 8-10 (i.e. eat at least twice in a week plus a lunch) and froze half for another day. I think I aimed to cook twice a week, eat leftovers of each meal once, eat out once, eat takeout/delivery once, and hope between those things we had leftovers for one more dinner. Once we had a toddler, I aimed to cook 3 times a week, eat leftovers of each meal once, eat out once, and cover dinners that way. We ate a lot of pizza. I ate a lot of McDonalds for breakfast on the way to work in the morning. I ate out for lunch basically every day. With DS2, we hired a housecleaner twice a month. We have a gardener maintain the yard. DH was specifically assigned laundry, dishes, garbage, and gassing up the cars. We got a Roomba to vacuum. DH was in charge of his own breakfast and lunch. We used a lot of paper plates and plastic forks when we couldn't deal. I still did the shopping and cooking and packing any toddler lunches and daycare bags. </p> <p>In the long run, its just a few months where its rough like that. You will survive and soon you will feel energy + nesting kick in and you will make up for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774437 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 11:55:34 +0000 ShootingStar 2774437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What are you doing that you're running around crazy for 12-16 hours? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774435 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 11:48:40 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2774435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You need to point blank ask your DH for more help. He's not a mind reader, and he can't tell that you're tired and not feeling well unless you tell him. If it helps, show him this post. Let him know he needs to take responsibility for dinner, or the house clean up, or something. And then trust him with it. If he forgets to pick up dinner and asks you what's for dinner when he gets home, remind him that he was supposed to pick it up and send him back out. </p> <p>Something's gotta give, and your health is uber important right now since you're growing a human. He needs to pitch in with some of the day to day. It will get him used to taking on more responsibility once the baby is here.</p> <p>I find it's important that when you ask your DH to do something, to trust him to do it and not criticize. The more you criticize, the more he'll leave it to you to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774394 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 10:31:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2774394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: Im sorry. My second tri energy didn't come until about week 20. </p> <p>I think you do need to find a way to give something up. Maybe still do meal planning but buy some more pre-prepared dishes. Maybe help your DH remember on nights he needs to pick up dinner and have it pre-agreed what he's going to get. </p> <p>What do your weekend plans look like? Now with kids we have cut back a lot on our social engagements so that we can have some down time at home and time to do errands and chores. Otherwise like you said the week is too hectic. </p> <p>Now with kids I look back and wonder what I did with ALL my time when it was just me and DH. Assuming you work a 9-10 hour day, that leaves several hours per day that just need to be maximized and prioritized. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stressed-and-in-need-of-rest#post-2774393 Wed, 20 Sep 2017 10:26:17 +0000 CC Mommy 2774393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've heard of women who are used to exercising and then when they get pregnant they are discouraged by how much less they can endure--I have also heard, however, about this second trimester energy burst that should be kicking in right about now. </p> <p>We all have things that we are juggling in life, whether you have toddlers, work, school or family obligations--or in my case three out of four. Last Wednesday, I began to realize that I could not endure the hectic 12-16 hour days of running from point A to point B to point C and still make sure healthy food is packed and prepped for me and my husband everyday. I thought if I took some time to relax over the weekend (Queue: Girls Night In :happy: ) that would suffice, but alas, here we are again three days into the week and I had to call in sick because for the first time in my pregnancy my crazy schedule made me physically ill yesterday and I woke up feeling awful. Feeling better (but, fragile) at the moment and I really don't know what to do. </p> <p>My husband tells me not to stress out about food (but, when he's supposed to pick something up for dinner, he forgets and asks me "What's for dinner?") then he says don't worry about grades in your last semester, but I have to pass my comprehensive exams because my next opportunity to take them will be one month into motherhood. I can't cut back on hours at work, because of insurance and honestly, I am at a loss. </p> <p>How do you all do it? My body keeps telling me to slow down and my mother keeps telling me "Don't push yourself too hard, when you are pushing yourself, you are pushing that baby," but what other option do I have?? Do I just call in sick to work every Wednesday to recuperate from my failed attempt to juggle life? </p> <p>Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated! </p>