https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:37:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647926 Fri, 04 Nov 2016 07:59:04 +0000 FLnative12 2647926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom has been surprisingly 'go with the flow' with our parenting choices with 2 exceptions. - ERF in the car seat (there is no room for his legs!) and giving DS antibiotics when he got sick. I finally lost my sh*t at her one day after lots of 'I never gave you and your sister any of this stuff' type of comments. She has since dropped it ;) My Dad says nothing other than how beautiful the kids are and how much he loves them. Being a grandpa has turned him into a big sappy mush, which cracks me up because its a totally new side of him to me.<br /> MIL has definitely had a harder time and FIL has been a LOT more vocal than I ever expected. They are both convinced the baby is always both cold and hungry. They were horrified last week when we were at DS's TBall game and I had DD outside not wrapped in a blanket. I kept answering 'she's fine' to each comment about the breeze or whatever (it was 80 degrees btw!). I finally lost it when my MIL took the burp cloth that was in the car seat and tucked it around her like a blanket. I took it off and said 'touch her! Touch her leg and her arm, she is WARM' So they stopped. The baby make any sort of noise and my FIL is all 'baby is hungry! Time to feed the baby!'. I know it all comes from a good place and they love my kids dearly but it makes me grind my teeth damn near flat.</p> <p>DH made a comment to me about just letting them make their comments and ignoring it - but I pointed out that when people (I don't care who) say over and over right in front of my that my baby is hungry and cold they are saying I am not adequately taking care of said baby, and as I clearly am taking care of my kids - it upsets me to hear otherwise. </p> <p>The ILs are also horrified at a sleep schedule and get upset that we wont bring the kids over late or that we leave in time to get home for bed time. At the same time they will make comments about how they are amazed at how much/well the kids sleep and none of their kids ever slept like that. ummmm...yeah, be there was never any sleep skills taught and my husband has a bunch of sleep related issues to show for it.<br /> Overall both sets of parents love the kids dearly and I consider my kids and us lucky to have them close by and a big part of our lives. But we still drive each other a little nuts sometimes, because you know...family :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647908 Fri, 04 Nov 2016 07:10:12 +0000 caterw 2647908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are pretty cool about listening to us- they said it's relaxing to just be grandparents and not have to come up with all the rules hahaha.</p> <p>My ILs not so much- they think I'm a "smother mother" and too controlling. MIL worked full time and she thinks I'm weird because I want to stay home with my kids. They also think I'm too strict about sugar- i caught them giving my seven month old baby a Popsicle! Safety is a concern with them too since they think the car seat straps don't need to be so tight and baby will get cold weather she doesn't have a coat on in the seat. They also gave DD a ride on the driver's seat of a lawn mower when she was reeeeeally small (like 3-4 months). We are raising our kids as liberals (and I converted their son). His mom once said "Oh my god DH! Is your wife a Democrat?" Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647829 Thu, 03 Nov 2016 23:10:09 +0000 Bernieboo 2647829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winter_wonder: yeah, I've had some issues with her and boundaries, but she lives very far away, so it's not too bad! And she's not here often enough to have much of an impact in M's habits </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647810 Thu, 03 Nov 2016 21:50:24 +0000 winter_wonder 2647810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bernieboo: that would make me ragey if someone pulled LO's hand out :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647789 Thu, 03 Nov 2016 21:15:47 +0000 Bernieboo 2647789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LML: I loved reading through this!! Thanks for resurrecting it! Haha<br /> My MIL is dead set that M must not suck her thumb or use a pacifier. She's only a month, so she can't find her thumb most of the time and I nurse on demand, so the pacifier use is pretty minimal. But it's nice when she has the hiccups or bad gas. But MIL will physically pull her hands away from her face. She was horrified when I asked her to give M a pacifier when we were driving and she was fussing.<br /> My parents are pretty good, but my dad is convinced that M is always cold ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647761 Thu, 03 Nov 2016 20:41:36 +0000 LML 2647761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry - I just realized how old this thread was. Oops. Hope it is ok that I brought it back to life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2647758 Thu, 03 Nov 2016 20:40:50 +0000 LML 2647758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, where do I start? </p> <p>- breastfeeding. My oldest had reflux and trouble sleeping as a result. My mom constantly told me it was because she was strictly breast fed. She thought formula was the magic solution to reflux and rice cereal was the only way to get a baby to sleep. She said, "You'd have trouble sleeping too if you were on an all-liquid diet." LO was about 8 weeks old at the time. Um, no. </p> <p>- not using blankets, pillows, or crib bumpers in an infant's crib. In response to any sleep issue, she would say, "Well, you don't use blankets or pillows, so..." as if that were the problem. I finally cut out an article about infant sleep safety and mailed it to her, grandma-style. She still brought it up a few times after that, and refuses to believe me that crib bumpers aren't recommended. </p> <p>- not giving my kids unlimited sugar and screen time. She said I "took all the fun out of Halloween" because I didn't let my 2 and 4 year old have unlimited access to their bags of candy. And don't even get her started on the cookies I made for them with wheat flour and honey instead of white sugar and white flour. She was aghast that I expected them to enjoy such a thing, "without any icing on it or anything?!"</p> <p>But my mom is overall very supportive, so I shouldn't complain. She just likes to voice her opinions!</p> <p>I should add that my MIL hasn't said a single word of criticism to me about my parenting, even though I know we have very different parenting styles. I definitely appreciate that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2487070 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 07:33:19 +0000 farawayyama 2487070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Raising DD in America.</p> <p>The New Zealand media does an excellent job at reporting on the negatives in US politics and culture, but not so much the positives. That combined with not being near the ocean makes it in my mothers mind an awful place to raise a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2486455 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 14:30:59 +0000 LovelyPlum 2486455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's pretty hard to horrifying my mom. She's very laid back, though she did CIO in a way, and was not opposed to a smack on the button when we did something dangerous. She imparted her attitude on us, and I'm grateful!</p> <p>I horrified my little sisters by pumping/nursing for months, nursing in front of them, my dad, and in public, and our co-sleeping. But they like being righteously shocked, Soooo :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2486405 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 14:00:07 +0000 Mrs. D 2486405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom at first hated that I stopped heating up her bottles. But I had a system, that her sitter also did! I boiled water, let it cool to room temperature, and then when it was time for her bottle we just poured the cooled off water into the bottle and shook it. It started one day when she was fussing and I decided to show DD that her bottle wasn't ready because the pot hadn't bolied yet so I let her take the bottle, figuring she'd give it back. She didn't, and so my life became easier, lol.<br /> That I let her snack between meals, that I''m cutting sweet snacks, that I STILL water down drinks when I can.<br /> MIL- HOw long it took to Potty train, that we chose Presbyterian over Catholic, that I don't make her eat food she doesn't like or that WE as adults gave her too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/3#post-2486385 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 13:53:38 +0000 mfa_lady 2486385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: SAME re: a little bit of CIO. My MIL actually said when she babysat E once: "I mean, I just can't handle it. I can't let her cry like that in there." I'm not saying it's easy, but I know for a fact that it would have been over within five minutes. Ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2486378 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 13:50:13 +0000 mfa_lady 2486378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: She'd REALLY hate me, then! Every night in the bath, I tell DD to "Sit down on your booty!" Granted, I might have to stop that once she's a little older, but... LOLOLOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2486353 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 13:31:58 +0000 Eko 2486353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: that's hilarious! I'm surprised my mom tried that. she probably has poured holy water or something over his head while she babysat him at one point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485454 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 00:46:54 +0000 sometimesshesings 2485454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is amazing and totally supportive of our decisions. In fact, she always compliments our parenting! </p> <p> My mom, on the other hand, has made comments about BLW (a common one, it seems!), the fact that we try to limit sweets, screen time, and too many toys, and especially that we're not raising the kids in the religion I grew up with. I think she feels like our different parenting choices are a direct criticism of her, which isn't true in most cases. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485429 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 23:35:18 +0000 QBbride 2485429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL makes all sorts of passive aggressive comments about our/my parenting 🙄</p> <p>My faves:<br /> -doesn't understand extended rear facing (my SIL flipped her kids around right at 12 months). Once she picked us up at the airport and she had installed the seat forward facing when she new full well that DS was still rear facing. I turned it back around before we started driving </p> <p>-"extended" breastfeeding (or breastfeeding at all, I think)</p> <p>-baby led weaning </p> <p>-not sleep training</p> <p>-sending DS to daycare (3x/week) while I'm on maternity leave so I can keep his spot and guarantee a spot for DD (infant spots are super hard to come by around here) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485387 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 22:00:27 +0000 alphagam84 2485387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is horrified that we aren't having DD baptized. She said we were being selfish. And they keep trying to get us to hang a cross in our house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485265 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 16:59:12 +0000 Rockies11 2485265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom can't stand BLW, so I just let her feed the LOs when she is around. She also finds co-sleeping mysterious - we were in our own beds in our own rooms from day 1. </p> <p>My MIL... disapproves of virtually everything that we have ever done and do. She believes there is only one way to do all things, and it is the way that she knows how to do it. She makes comments on all aspects of our parenting whenever she is around. She will not accept any instructions from us on how to do anything. Babies sleep on their stomachs, and they drink water from bottles, full stop. So I don't leave her alone with them anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485187 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 14:22:43 +0000 Happygal 2485187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL will share the different ways she parented and follow up by saying, "But we were hippies!" I'm sure she had thoughts about us letting our daughter cry in her crib for a little bit b/c they did the family bed and she let them nurse from her whenever they wanted. She also seemed to get twitchy watching me feed my daughter when younger, saying, "She really wants to feed herself!" and asking me if she wanted a bunch of different types of food she had around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485178 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 14:16:51 +0000 petitenoisette 2485178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BadgerMom: I feel you on the cloth diaper disbelief. But its like, if they came out all disgusting and poopy looking still then I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be a thing anymore, fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485177 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 14:15:22 +0000 petitenoisette 2485177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: oh my. Totes something Jesus would have done :shocked: :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485056 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 09:26:32 +0000 Mrs. J 2485056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BLW. I mean she saw how well our oldest did, but she's freaking out again with LO2. </p> <p>Not wearing a winter coat in the car. Blows her mind because "we were fine", but she will let it go so long as they are bundled up and with 20 blankets.</p> <p>Not cutting my two year old's grapes. </p> <p>She was at first horrified by LO using a little potty instead of just an insert, but she's gotten over it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485040 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 08:52:58 +0000 Ms. RV 2485040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I bring LO everywhere she's welcome (we are currently hanging out in a waiting room while my car is inspected) rather than having someone else (including OH) watch her on the weekends. Also, babywearing. I don't get that one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2485001 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 07:53:44 +0000 Finfan 2485001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom has not actually said anything but I can tell by her face that she disapproves of our positive discipline style. </p> <p>DH's parents think I am too strict about giving treats. Well, the problem is they see the kids every day and it stops being a treat if it is every single day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484970 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 05:27:06 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 2484970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL was also horrified that we didn't baptize DD as a baby (she will choose on her own when or if she wants to get baptized). She brought it up multiple times and was very persistent about. I think that's the only thing though. Luckily, her daughter was pregnant around the same time as me and is very up to date on what's the "norm" now, so I didn't have to worry about that since my SIL would explain everything to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484966 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 05:13:58 +0000 JCCovi 2484966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was really bothered by extended rear facing. My daughter is only 2.5 and I finally sent her some information in it so she's let it go.</p> <p>When my daughter was first born both my parents were big into letting her cry, no comforting her immediately, etc. That was all theoretical, in actuality any time she cried my Mom wanted me to spring across the room and feed her.</p> <p>I think my Mom would prefer I stayed home with the kids instead of WOH with a nanny.</p> <p>My MIL and FIL wish we bed shared. My FIL said 'you don't love your children unless you cosleep.'</p> <p>I think there's a lot more of the IL side but I can't think of it right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484928 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 23:04:09 +0000 Jess1483 2484928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are amazing at letting us do our thing, but for some reason, extended RFing really threw them for a loop. It's literally the ONLY parenting thing my mom has commented on (and I've actually begged her for advice at times.) They continued to do what I asked, but I let them flip the car seat in her car at 2 (it really wasn't a good seat for extended RFing anyway). Then I read that article about internal decapitation and keeping them RFing until 4 and sent it to my mom. She got totally stressed out and said she'd flip it back around (LO is 3.5). I told her it was fine, but that's why I kept him that way. </p> <p>My dad was kind of ridiculous about me using white noise. I finally just had to tell him that it was my call and he had to handle it. He hasn't said anything since. He has hearing damage from growing up on a farm, so I think he's just being protective, but holy crap, it was driving me nuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484901 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 22:04:25 +0000 youboots 2484901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eko: my Mom 'baptized' my DD in their hottub. No joke. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484897 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 21:59:45 +0000 mamabolt 2484897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That I BF until she was 3 and RF her carseat for even longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484891 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 21:49:04 +0000 BadgerMom 2484891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That I put poopy cloth diapers in my washing machine. She uses disposable when LO's with her but I must have forgot and sent him in a cloth. She had to call me and tell me how bad it was and that I should just throw it away because I just can't put it in the washing machine it was so bad. I threw it in with all the rest and couldn't even tell which one it was when they came out of the dryer. 🙄 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-horrify-your-mom-with-your-parenting/page/2#post-2484888 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 21:40:39 +0000 .twist. 2484888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They're all pretty good about how we raise L. The one thing I did notice was how strict I was about his sleep schedule. We had a crappy sleeper, we sleep trained and he started sleeping like an angel. I don't think they realised how much relief I felt having a good sleeper, finally. So they would give me a hard time and say stuff like "oh, one late night won't hurt". and every late night, that wasn't supposed to hurt, HURT the next day. cranky, early risings, or multiple night wakings. So, I said no way, we aren't doing that. They thought I was nuts. </p>