https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 19:20:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2871645 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 17:08:11 +0000 LAZB 2871645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: ❤️<br /> @karenbme: I like to hear that! I know miscarriage risk is still 20-25%, so that's scary, but I'll take the other stuff being statistically zero! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2871642 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 16:50:17 +0000 karenbme 2871642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: Glad to hear it was good news! And 1/175 is what we statisticians call “statistically zero,” so here’s hoping it was a one time thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2871639 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 16:38:22 +0000 youboots 2871639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: I’m happy you got some answers. Thanks for the update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2871638 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 16:30:52 +0000 LAZB 2871638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks so much ladies for your support❤️ I just got back from an appointment with the genetic counselor, and I'm actually feeling better. I'm going to get some blood work done, but she said she would bet that the baby had the random type of down syndrome. This would put me as twice as likely as someone else my age to have a child with down syndrome, but my new risk is roughly 1/175 which is less than 1%, so I think I'm willing to take that risk.<br /> I still need to talk to my re, and I do have a blood clotting disorder that I didn't know about with my earlier pregnancies, so I'll probably need to go through a little bit more if we get pregnant again, but I'm not feeling like all hope is lost.<br /> The genetic counselor is putting in to get insurance approval for the blood tests, and we will go from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870975 Fri, 08 Feb 2019 13:43:07 +0000 Autumnmama79 2870975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: I want to say how sorry I am. After a devastating loss to have this kind of news seems to ask more questions than it answers. Wishing you a peaceful weekend with your family :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870907 Fri, 08 Feb 2019 00:51:16 +0000 karenbme 2870907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: So sorry to see this. Sending you good thoughts for your appointment with the geneticist. There’s no good in all this, but I hope knowing brought a little bit of peace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870905 Fri, 08 Feb 2019 00:21:28 +0000 bees_knees 2870905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: :heart: :heart: :heart: thinking of you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870902 Thu, 07 Feb 2019 23:11:18 +0000 QBbride 2870902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: that’s a lot to process but I guess the “good” news is you have an answer. Might be better than the unknown? Sending you love as you figure out your next steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870790 Thu, 07 Feb 2019 06:30:51 +0000 mediagirl 2870790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: ❤️ I'm so sorry. I hope it eases your mind a bit having an answer as to why you lost this much wanted baby. I'll be thinking about you and hope you get some answers from your genetic counselor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870782 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 23:23:12 +0000 bhbee 2870782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: sending :heart: while you figure it all out </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870751 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 20:52:46 +0000 periwinklebee 2870751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: I'm really sorry :heart: Thinking of you and hoping the genetic counselor, combined with some time to process and heal, will provide some clarity for how to move forward :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870747 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 20:15:26 +0000 LCTBQE 2870747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: just seeing your post, I'm so sorry to hear this. you are an amazing mama and you'll make the right decisions for yourself and your family. hope you have some down time to heal. hang in there :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870744 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 19:56:31 +0000 LAZB 2870744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Results just came back, baby had trisomy 21 which is down syndrome. He was also a boy.<br /> This definitely gives us a lot to think about. We will meet with a genetic counselor and get more tests done before moving forward.<br /> While we would welcome a baby with down syndrome, if I have a very high likelihood of having another baby with severe health issues or a higher likelihood of miscarriage, we will likely stop trying.<br /> Just wanted to update, but haven't really had time to process at all</p> <p> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870544 Tue, 05 Feb 2019 16:50:06 +0000 Chuckles 2870544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw this last night and even though the specific trauma is different, the idea of how to deal with and reframe tragedy and grief really resonated with me. <a href="https://cupofjo.com/2019/02/julie-yip-williams-letter-to-her-daughters/" rel="nofollow">https://cupofjo.com/2019/02/julie-yip-williams-letter-to-her-daughters/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870525 Tue, 05 Feb 2019 14:30:35 +0000 karenbme 2870525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to chime in and echo what others have said. I'm so sorry. This sort of thing is awful, and doesn't get easier. I hope you're able to get some closure with the genetic results. Even if there isn't anything genetically wrong, there was nothing you did or could have done to cause or prevent your losses. I hope you're able to hold that truth in your heart as you move forward. :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870522 Tue, 05 Feb 2019 13:51:04 +0000 periwinklebee 2870522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: :heart: I hope the genetics come back soon and that the genetic counselor is able to provide some helpful guidance :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870521 Tue, 05 Feb 2019 13:37:57 +0000 Mrs. Oreo 2870521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870404 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 20:23:27 +0000 LAZB 2870404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all again ❤️ I think of you ladies going through losses often, and it sucks we have to go through this, but it’s nice not to be alone</p> <p>Didn’t get too many answers today, basically the genetic tests are still pending, but two maybe issues that came up from my blood work two weeks ago are a mthfr mutation and factor 5. My doc doubts the mthfr is an issue as I was already on extra folate (and my levels reflected that). The factor 5 could be an issue, but I would probably do lovenox injections as a precaution if we go through with another pregnancy.<br /> My hcg is already down to 109 a week and a half post d&amp;c, which is pretty good. I was expecting much higher.<br /> I’m going to wait a couple more days for my genetic results (both mine and the baby’s) and then make an appointment with a genetic counselor and my RE. After talking to them I’ll make a decision about what to do next, but my obgyn did say that if we are going to try, I should try soon because of my DOR. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870390 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 18:05:19 +0000 crazydoglady 2870390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope you find answers and healing today. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870388 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 17:59:43 +0000 youboots 2870388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870387 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 17:53:00 +0000 Chuckles 2870387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry again for your losses. I hope you got some answers today that give you a little peace. After 4 losses, we are trying to decide on persevering (like @shantuck:), doing IVF (which I feel selfish trying to justify because DH would be fine stopping at 1), or just stopping. I still kind of can't believe I'm in this position. I agree with @bhbee:, take as much time as you need to come to a decision that's best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870385 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 17:42:51 +0000 Mrsbells 2870385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870380 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 17:11:54 +0000 Sams Mom 2870380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: I hope they find answers for you. Know that it is not your fault no matter, you didn't do anything to cause any of your miscarriages. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870379 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 16:44:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2870379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: sending you love </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870377 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 16:34:49 +0000 Shantuck 2870377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your losses. One of my losses had a heartbeat but the results did show a chromosomal abnormality so that does happen sometimes. </p> <p>I've had three losses - one at 7 weeks and two at about 10 weeks. If I recall correctly, I think you also had low AMH. When I sought the help of an RE after the first two losses, I was told that the low AMH signified lower quality because less eggs means less "good" eggs to choose from. He told me it was going to be a perseverance game for me and that if I kept at it long enough, I'd find that good egg (which I did, eventually). Obviously, everyone's situation is unique but maybe you have a perseverance game to play as well... Crossing my fingers that you get that rainbow baby soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870346 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 13:24:22 +0000 MamaBear87 2870346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: I don't have advice just wanted to chime in with support. I hope you get the answers you need to feel at peace with whatever you decide 💜💜 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870337 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:53:34 +0000 LAZB 2870337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: that’s really interesting about the timing. Might make me feel a little better in a future pregnancy if we go that route.<br /> @bhbee: it didn’t even occur to me that a random disorder wouldn’t increase chances of it happening again, that’s a good point! I guess I did know that, I’m just in a blur right now as far as information goes. </p> <p>@pachamama: thanks so much for saying that. Rationally I know I didn’t do anything, but it’s hard not to feel that way. </p> <p>Thanks everyone for replying. It is so nice to have such a supportive community. I’m in the waiting room now, but they’ve informed me the doctor is running an hour behind, so it’s going to be a while. Luckily I caught sh before he got here, and he’s going to grab some lunch for us so we can eat while we wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870336 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:46:08 +0000 pachamama 2870336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: we're here to listen. It makes me sad you feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. There's no easy answer about trying again, I wish there was! Do what's best for you and your family<br /> I think you know this but I had a perfect looking little baby at 8.5 weeks too...and they told me it had passed away (stopped growing?) at 8.5 weeks. so I'm with you in being like WHYYyyy what happened?! everything looked so promising! That was hard being so far along (I found out at 12.5 weeks). Solidarity 🙄<br /> Let us know what the doc says today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870334 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:37:00 +0000 bhbee 2870334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. Recurrent loss is so unfair and so hard emotionally, and you have been through so much. I understand the feelings. I do think try to wait and see after your appt and some processing time how things go. For my 11w loss we found out it was a rare trisomy incompatible with life also. Random bad luck. When I got that answer, it helped some. Helped to feel decently about moving forward (even though we had many months of ttc to go probably due to age). I think too, don’t feel like you have to have an answer today. My answer changed over time and we had finally made peace with being done when we finally got our last bfp. I understand the feeling of now or never, but giving yourself space to work it out is ok too. All the :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870328 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:08:42 +0000 ElbieKay 2870328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: in my case I was told that there is not genetic predisposition to the disorder so there is no particular reason to think we were at risk of it happening again. </p>