https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 07:10:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974579 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 19:40:21 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1974579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>words of affirmation has always been one of my top love languages, and that hasn't changed... but what i found i really need now too is acts of service. seeing him help out around the house, cleaning, and doing things for us and our family makes me feel really loved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974572 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 19:18:50 +0000 Tanjowen 1974572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: that's what I'm thinking, that it's changed because of the current circumstances. I have a feeling it will eventually back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974553 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:53:49 +0000 blackbird 1974553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the beginning, I needed more verbal affirmation. I usually don't. I've gone back to not really needing it, except on a bad day :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974547 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:44:57 +0000 petunia354 1974547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: YES. It drives my husband nuts because he just doesn't get it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974534 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:16:25 +0000 Mrs.ThinMint 1974534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love that book! It really helped my husband and I understand each other better. I might go take that quiz again to see if mine has changed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974517 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:49:59 +0000 jedeve 1974517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If anything my needs have gone from quality time to alone time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974353 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:03:43 +0000 Cherrybee 1974353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, absolutely. Pre baby, I was a words of affirmation kinda girl. I needed him to say nice things and tell me I was wonderful. I sill need that now and again but, post baby, acts of service are really important to me. It means so much to me when DH tidies the house, knowing I need it clean to be able to relax, or if he pops to the shop and gets me a bottle of wine just because. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974347 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 12:56:29 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1974347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: It has definitely been hard, and I am working hard right now to stop taking it out on DH when I am feeling unappreciated, and to find other things that make me feel competent and encouraged. Still such a struggle. Hugs Momma. You are doing a great job &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974323 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 12:33:13 +0000 Tanjowen 1974323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I think that's why I love HB so much, because everyone on here is really great at affirming each other that we are doing alright as mom's! </p> <p> @Mrs. Lion: Yes! Before, I was daily encouraged about my abilities at my job. Babies are unpredictable beings and I feel like it's so much trial and error and stumbling around messing up. And my husband is the same way as your DH and definitely not an encouraging sort of person. It makes it hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974302 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 12:05:31 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1974302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think my love language changed, but I have definitely discovered that with giving up my job to SAH I gave up something that made me feel affirmed and appreciated on a daily basis. It has been a huge struggle for me, because DH is not one who is great with words. I know he appreciates me, but I don't feel appreciated on a daily basis like I did in my job. It has been a huge adjustment, one that I still struggle with almost 2 years later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974294 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 11:48:48 +0000 Applesandbananas 1974294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't take it pre-baby, but I feel like physical touch was probably more important to me then. Now it's definitely words of affirmation. I don't SAH but with all the differing opinions and parenting advice at every turn, it's hard to feel like I'm doing a good job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-emotional-needs-change-after-baby#post-1974250 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 10:31:24 +0000 Tanjowen 1974250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH and I took the "5 Love Languages" quiz when we were engaged 8 years ago. My need in our relationship has always been acts of service, especially with him gone so much of the time. I loved when he would come home with a bottle of wine he knows I like, or planned a night out, or did little things to show his love.</p> <p>Lately I just haven't been feeling connected to him. On a suggestion of a friend, I retook the quiz and it told me what I already had been thinking, that affirmation is very important to me now after baby. Maybe it's because I quit my job and I stay home with a baby that most days I feel would happily trade me for a bottle of Puffs, but I really need my DH, friends and family to just tell me I'm doing a good job and I'm a good mom. I'm stumbling through this first time mom thing and feel pretty lost most of the time, so hearing the words of encouragement help a lot.</p> <p>I plan to sit down with my DH when he gets home tonight to talk about it to help him understand what I need is not a bottle of wine (but I will definitely take it - mama needs wine!), but for him to tell me I'm not failing, I'm doing alright.</p> <p>Anyone else feel like their needs changed, or did they stay the same for you? I have a feeling they might change again for me as our baby grows up. </p>