https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:42:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863276 Sat, 22 Dec 2018 00:34:37 +0000 gestalt 2863276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also hope you know my comments weren’t intended to come off as judgemental. I have been in those situations and feeling all the same feelings you are right now. As parents we are trying to do the best we can to ensure they become good citizens. I swear some days I feel like I have to teach basic social skills so she doesn’t become a sociopath! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863271 Fri, 21 Dec 2018 22:48:42 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I know you weren’t proud of the clean clothes in the hamper! I was just trying to empathize and say I’ve been there too. I hate it. So please know I am right there with you. </p> <p>But the no reading thing I kind of feel like is a natural consequence- you did something you know upsets mommy, and now mommy is too upset to read. I personally don’t think that’s bad at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863265 Fri, 21 Dec 2018 22:05:54 +0000 irene 2863265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: @808love: @Foodnerd81: Ohh, please understand I wasn't proud of myself of my "put all his clean pajamas in the hamper and announced he would wear normal uniform to school tomorrow instead of pajamas" moment. I was literally telling you all what happened. Yes I was mad. That one was 100% the consequence of me being mad and fearful of the situation. It was reverted when I dug my brain out of the thick layers of anger. </p> <p>And yes I understand that the consequence should be a natural consequence from what happened, of course! Only that it is not always easy, and sometimes when he doesn't care about it it doesn't help. For instance, for the past year when I attempted to help curb the bedwetting, I read a book which suggested we should ditch the pull up, and let the wetness be the consequence (no judgement please, It was more complicated than just that and I am not going to write an essay to elaborate). It worked for many months, until toward the end he just slept through in his stinking warm pee for the whole night (!) The natural consequence doesn't always work.</p> <p>In this case, he wanted to make money quickly and easily which was a cause of the lie. That's why I said no payment for the next time he folds his clothes, at least for the coming week. But in a way, I have a feeling he wouldn't care, because honestly in some weeks he flat out forgets to ask for his pay anyway. </p> <p>@gestalt: RE: "Was the list of consequences created because you were feeling quite emotional?" The pajama day one was emotional, the "no reading harry potter before bedtime" was emotional because I flat out was too angry to enjoy a night of reading, and I don't want to make reading miserable so not a good idea anyway. The no payment for next week is a "natural consequence" which I have a feeling it is not going to have a big impact. "no more joking/pretending" is also a "natural consequence" because we really have to practice on telling the truth completely before having the "just kidding" moments. The "grounded" was really his suggestion - I asked him so now what are we going to do about it. He said "Grounded". I said what does that mean. He said, you know, no ipad, no dessert...etc. I was kind of surprised, because I have never actually "ground" him before. I have taken some privileges away, but not all privileges away for a few days. I agreed to it. In my mind, lying in adulthood can cause someone to end up in jail. I think it is fair to "ground" him for a couple of days. It ended up to be just maybe 2 days as he is having dessert definitely these past few days.</p> <p>I am now just bringing it up every day hoping to "brainwash" it into him that lying in any form is not OK. We don't lie not because we don't want to get in trouble, but because we want to be a good person, we want to think about other people, we don't want to hurt others (because lying often hurt other people for our own benefit), we want to be good and we want to make good choices. We shall see. I have also checked-out/downloaded the audiobook for NurtureShock from the library that @DesertDreams88: recommended. What am I going to do without the library and you all :wink: :heart: ?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863217 Fri, 21 Dec 2018 14:01:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: my daughter (again, 5.5 yrs, so a bit younger) definitely lies more when she feels cornered or in trouble. Like, at school she has done something wrong that multiple students and a teacher witnessed, but when confronted, she flat out denies it and claims everyone is lying. We have a much better chance of getting the truth out of her if we approach her calmly- even if there is a punishment/ natural consequence coming, if I’m calm I can usually get a better response. HOWEVER, I fully admit sometimes I am just so frustrated and mad that I don’t approach the situation calmly. Your story about throwing all his clean pajamas into the hamper reminds me of the way I have thrown all her toys that she refused to clean up into a basket saying I’m throwing them out. It never helps, so I’m really really really working on not reacting until I’m calmer. Sometimes that means i tell her to stay in her room and think about what she did while I go to my room to calm down. </p> <p>As far as the peeing in his pants, it sounds more like he forgets to go until it’s too late and has an accident, then doesn’t want to get into trouble so he hides it, not like he is purposely peeing in his pants. Neither is great, but I can usually help my daughter more if I can figure it her weird logic to things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863157 Fri, 21 Dec 2018 01:15:45 +0000 808love 2863157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yes, I guess I missed that. It does change when it was his decision to come up with the whole ruse. Hmmmm. I don't know much about this website but it had valid opinion. Particularly tie the consequence to the lie. For example if lying to get money, no allowance and he does his chore for free for a few weeks. <a href="https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-kids-tell-lies-and-what-to-do-about-it/" rel="nofollow">https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-kids-tell-lies-and-what-to-do-about-it/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863156 Fri, 21 Dec 2018 01:14:16 +0000 gestalt 2863156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a few thoughts on this, and please know i understand the frustration at finding out your kid is lying. Growing up, i lied a lot. I was so scared of my parents and getting into trouble, i wanted to avoid it as much as possible. I wanted people to only see my best side, and lied to avoid people think badly of me.</p> <p>I noticed I was starting to act the same way my parents did when i was young. But i did not want to create a relationship/environment where my daughter was so scared of angering me that she stopped telling me things. Or being honest. Was the list of consequences created because you were feeling quite emotional? I know when i'm mad i start saying, "no more this, no more that" because i'm blinded by frustration.</p> <p>We used to give money for folding and putting away laundry, but it was a lot for my daughter and sometimes quite overwhelming. Would you consider telling him that in order to build your trust, he is going to have to fold and put away laundry without payment? Maybe work together on how to make it easier. I now only ask her to put away her laundry (not fold) as i do not pay her for the task but give her a small weekly allowance unrelated to tasks.</p> <p>From what i read, this is developmentally normal. But there's the fine balance between correcting his behaviour so he understands lying is wrong and getting so upset that he continues to lie.</p> <p>I've also referenced Peter and the Wolf, and i also talk to her about how lies can escalate. One time she hid chocolate in her room and ate it (i found the wrapper haha) - she thought i would be mad but i told her that if she just told me she got chocolate, i would have let her eat it. I try my best not to get mad...and hopefully she will trust and feel safe enough to admit the truth. </p> <p> :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863154 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 23:51:14 +0000 irene 2863154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: Hahaha! What did your DD tell you why did she lie about it? Did she want approval from you?</p> <p>Honestly, strangely your DD reminds me of myself! I think that's "creative lying" (vs. mine who lied for money) and it is more OK. I remember when I was either kindergarten or first grade, I would go home, and completely make up new classmate names, and I would tell my mom that I played with susan and jenny today, I made up pretty elaborate stories (for a 5 / 6 yr old), when susan and jenny don't even exist. It is weird, I have absolutely no idea why I did that. I even questioned myself why did I do that at the moment and I couldn't figure out why. And my mom never questioned (back then parents don't care, or at least mine didn't... now thinking about it if she had paid attention she would have KNOWN I was lying because there were new "characters" every other day lol). I have a feeling your DD is OK. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863152 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 23:36:49 +0000 misolee 2863152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a six year old daughter and she got into the car after school with this elaborate story on how a friend hurt herself during PE and how the teacher asked her to walk the hurt friend to the nurse. She kept going on about how the teacher was proud of her for being kind and taking time out of her time to go help a friend so she let her pick one thing from her treasure box. Honestly, I was driving and half listening bc she has walked a friend to the nurse before (so nothing out of ordinary) and she also was chosen before to go to treasure box. After she was done, I was relaying her the day's schedule and how I had a conference with her teacher. All of a sudden, she started backpedaling about how she didn't get the toy from the treasure box and how she didnt walk her friend and I had no idea what she was talking about until I realized, she made up this elaborate story bc a friend gave her a toy. I was floored. Like why lie about that?</p> <p>So we talked about how we never lie especially to mommy no matter what. We talked about why lying is bad and how you lose trust. I told her the story about the Boy who cried Wolf. I told her that even if you could get in trouble, lying makes it worse and you could get double the trouble to be caught lying. And then I asked her what would be a good punishment for doing something bad, and she picked no TV time that week. I don't know if that helped but we have been having more talks about consequences to certain behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863148 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 22:30:15 +0000 irene 2863148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: Honestly, there were so many privileges that were taken away previously there was nothing that I could take away anymore. This is a serious offense so here are the few things:</p> <p>- No payment after folding his clothes at least for next week and we'll re-assess.</p> <p>- He was supposed to have pajamas day at school today. Initially I was so mad, I took out all the clean clothes in his dirty hamper, and dumped all his clean pajamas into it, took it away, and said he is going to wear his regular uniform to school tomorrow instead of pajamas. Cue a lot of crying. After I calmed down, I offered that if he fold all those clothes that he was supposed to have done, we will reconsider. He did. I asked him to fold all those clean pajamas and put them back. He also did. So the original pajamas day decision was revoked and he went to school in pajamas today.</p> <p>- Yesterday I was going to read another chapter to him on a Harry Potter book before bedtime (we literally just started on Monday). That was taken away last night. (Really because I was too upset, and we spent a lot of time talking about the whole thing, folding clothes and what not)</p> <p>- All other little things that define "grounded" : No ipad, no dessert, no coding on my old computer... for a few days or until he redeem himself with good behavior.</p> <p>- He is not allowed in my house to "pretend" or "joke" anymore (you know, "ouch I hurt myself! Haha, I am just kidding, gotcha" kind of joke, which he does that a lot) for a few days until he proves himself with good behavior and honesty, and we'll reassess.</p> <p>RE: What are you doing to make your son feel the cost of losing your trust?Honestly, I don't even know if he cares. But I rub it in today and I have been saying things the whole day like, "are you telling the truth?" "It hurts that I can't trust you on even little things" "Can you not lie anymore so I can trust you again?" And I rub it in here and there on why we shouldn't lie and why lying is bad. Like a broken record. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863141 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 21:56:39 +0000 lady baltimore 2863141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>P.S. I don't present this as punitive for the student, just a natural consequence of my not being able to trust them with the responsibility of independence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863140 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 21:53:41 +0000 lady baltimore 2863140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I don't have any experience to share, as my LO is only three, but your last post made me wonder: what are the consequences for your son of his having lost your trust? I know that you are disappointed to have to check up on him for things that he should be doing anyway, but that should be a drag for him, too! I am a teacher, and when my students lose a privilege by being unsafe or irresponsible, they have to feel the loss of that privilege/responsibility in order for it to make a difference. </p> <p>For example, if a student is running in the hallway, he or she loses the opportunity to walk to class independently, which means waiting around until all of the other students have moved on, waiting until I am ready, and then walking at whatever pace and route I set. They usually hate this, and remember not to run once they have earned the freedom again. </p> <p>What are you doing to make your son feel the cost of losing your trust? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2863125 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 20:37:29 +0000 irene 2863125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thanks - I have no idea what a roblox is, but yes we do talk about we work hard and we earn money. Hard work and good choice is how you make money (and you make more good choices to keep / save and grow your money). I do believe him though that folding laundry is hard. It is work of course it is hard, otherwise I wouldn't pay him for it (!) So I do believe him in that...</p> <p>@808love: Thank you so much, now you put it that way, it makes sense. Hopefully it is really just that.... The thing is, we didn't even ask him to fold his laundry (usually we ask during the weekends, and I offer a choice of if he finishes everything he gets $2.5 or if I help he gets $0.5). He initiated it yesterday in the middle of the week and then created a "scam". It makes the situation even more disappointing because it wasn't even because he was desperate to finish a task he was expected to finish. He flat out could have put everything back in the clean basket and walk out to do something else and no one would have said a word.</p> <p>Another thing is too, I want to trust him and I don't want to check on him every time. If he told me he brushed his teeth in the morning, I want to believe him and not having to go make sure his toothbrush was wet, you know. Very disappointing that now I can not fully trust him on anything he tells me. Now he told me he has finished his homework, I have to go check his folder to see if he really did. I can't even take his word when he told me he didn't pee his pants and I have to look at his pants :crying: Sigh. Hope this will pass and he learns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862968 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 11:25:18 +0000 808love 2862968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like it is developmental curiosity about do they check my work? What happens when you do something wrong on purpose? Will others figure it out? How do consequences affect me? And probably a bunch of others. I mean if you think about it, this is the age where kids discover whether or not Santa is checking, the whole naughty or nice, with a present as a reward thing. They wonder Is it really going to affect me? They are discovering on their own how it applies to real world. . It is good you addressed it. I noticed at this age (almost 8) DD has tried to get a few things past us. I try not to overstate it, yet definitely correct the behavior with explanations to clarify hoping it will click. This is the age where the kids learn they can put on a lie filter to cover themselves. Before they were sooo innocent- Mommy I did it.<br /> Also my first thought is laundry is hard. Maybe I’m a sucker but if my child said that I would believe that there was an ounce of truth and use that as an opportunity to build trust and explore more like I believe what you say (that’s why it is important to tell the truth). So I would offer doing other chores or help a few times (without pay) until ready to do alone. Also add happy laundry music. I would work on the unpleasant task and make it more pleasant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862909 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 08:29:01 +0000 looch 2862909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, my son plays roblox. He asked for robucks so that he could have money without having to work for it, so that naturally led to a rather weird discussion around needing to work in order to earn money.</p> <p>It took a few times for him to get that money just doesn't appear in the bank, we go to work and earn it. I think your son's made the connection that you work to earn money, but since no one is checking his work, he could lie and say he did it and still get the money. So, I would either check his work or stop paying him.</p> <p>I am not sure if the folding is really difficult for him or not ( I suspect not), so that last statement of his reads as a lie to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862905 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 08:20:21 +0000 irene 2862905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> <p>@TWINKLETOES: Aww, thank you for creating an account just to reply to my issue. I will check out the Chicken Little book, thanks, and good point about the counsellor RE: regressed daytime wetting. Very honestly, in the very back of my mind I am secretly worried that DS would turn out to be a sociopath. :meh: A while ago I read one of those internet articles (that has absolutely no scientific proof) and it said kids who wet their bed until teenage years are more likely to turn out to be a sociopath. It stuck in my mind. And then this developing lying thing. Sigh. I hope I am worrying too much. </p> <p>@ALV91711: Thank you so much :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862898 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 07:53:37 +0000 ALV91711 2862898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no additional advice but wanted to send you some hugs. Hang in there mama, you are doing a wonderful job and you will get through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862883 Thu, 20 Dec 2018 03:18:22 +0000 TWINKLETOES 2862883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Irene, im a long time reader/stalker and just set up my account to reply to your post.Mama you are doing an amazing job with you little boy. I'm a mom of 3 kids.20 year old dd 7 year old ds and 5 year old dd.So i have some experience under the belt. Re the lies. Re iterate how much it hurts you when ds lies.Tell him again and again it hurts and makes you not trust him.Maybe read the story about Chicken Little. Kids relate to the characters. The bed wetting - youve taken it as far as you can.See the urologist to rule out physical issues but if i may also suggest taking DS to see a councillor. Regression at that age suggests to me there is another underlying problem.My eldest DD also regressed once she started school. After months of it we found out she was being teased at school for a matter totally unrealted to the peeing in pant/bed. Once we spoke about it and got her coping skills it stopped within 2 weeks. Hugs xxxx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862879 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 23:56:40 +0000 Mrsbells 2862879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Ah ok i just looked at some of those older posts! Yeah I see many people were very strongly against using the alarm. I knew someone who used an alarm on their son whip wet the bed, he was 7 or 8 but he slept right through the alarm! She would hear it from her room and go try to wake him up. So it clearly didn't work for them. But she had friends that swore by it. Each child is an individual and as his mom you know much better than we do, what might work. Sometimes people get a bit harsh on forums because they feel strongly one way and are emotionally removed from the issue. Try not to take it too personally. Hang in there, :heart: none of us have all the answers </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862878 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 23:40:23 +0000 irene 2862878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Thank you. Yes we are seeing a specialist now and while nothing can be done (and they claim it is normal and happen to a certain % of kids... some kids can wet their bed until puberty and beyond... YIKES), they gave me a series of suggestions and we are working through it. Even the urologist said the enuresis alarm (wakes him up as he's peeing the bed so his brain learns - which was also one of the reasons why I got a ton of negative feedback) was really the only proven way to help with the issue, so we are going back to that. It seems to be a little better now as I think somehow through nagging and expensive specialist visits and notes to his teacher, something got into him. Asking him to use the restroom, however, is still a constant struggle. He was more potty-trained when he was 3 years old compared to now. I can only nag so much I started to hate myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862877 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 23:34:59 +0000 Mrsbells 2862877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: oh I can feel your frustration through your posts! I must have missed those previous need wetting posts... I'll go back and look. I can imagine it being super frustrating for both of you. I do know that bed wetting is somewhat a known issue but haven't heard of a potty trained child intentionally peeing on himself while awake. I dont think the day time peeing is related to the night time bed wetting since the night time is more subconscious. Unless he actually wakes up at night but doesnt want to get up and go to the bathroom?<br /> If it makes you feel any better my 6 year old doesnt get priorities either. I really hope you get some resolutions especially with the peering during the daytime, that concerns me the most </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862873 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 23:16:59 +0000 irene 2862873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: RE: peeing -- sigh. I have posted here about our struggles with bedwetting which I don't want to talk about it anymore as I have gotten very mean and judgemental comments from some readers here about it. A few months or so ago I noticed the issue went into daytime. Every now and then (every other day when it was the worst) he would come home smelling bad and he would tell me he need to go change his pants. I looked at his pants and there is a dark wet spot in the front. So there are days he just peed his pants and somehow he thought it was OK. I was devastated. We are seeing the the enuresis clinic now at the urologist and we have explained over and over and over that it is NOT ok to pee his pants, EVER. It seems to be better lately. Story of my life. For that particular morning (swim to recital) he said before we head out of the house to swim, he was too involved in playing Lemonade Stand on the Alexa Dot so he "forgot" to use the restroom. He is always too busy and peeing in the toilet is always the last thing on his mind. Otherwise he is super bright, very funny and creative. He is reading a coding book by himself and learning to code on my old laptop that DH revived for him, he plays scrabbles since kindergarten. How can a smart kid like him not have his priorities straight and doesn't understand the basic priorities in life - such as peeing in the potty and telling the truth...? Do I one day have to remind him to breathe too ...? :crying:</p> <p>For lying, I think he needs to find that something in him that can determine good and evil. I don't know how to help him find it. Today as we were talking, I asked him would he start stealing money from my wallet he said no. I said why wouldn't you, he said because I love you! I said, no.... because that's wrong, you don't take money from anyone regardless if you love them or not! Argh.</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks for sharing, I am glad it is "normalish". I guess something to bring up with the pediatrician at our well visit in 2 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862870 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 22:57:28 +0000 Foodnerd81 2862870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: my daughter is younger than your son, but she sure sounds a lot like him. Smart, stubborn, mind of their own. She’s 5.5 and has gone through a phase of lying a lot, though not as much lately. Currently though she lies pretty often about cleaning up her room (she is supposed to put her toys into the doll house or a certain bin in her room, it’s pretty simple). I don’t have any advice other than I have read it’s normal. So frustrating. DH has definitely told her numerous times that lying is the worst thing because it breaks our trust. I try to focus on being sad that I can’t trust her and that she will need to earn our trust back. But I definitely don’t know what’s getting through to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862860 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 21:37:31 +0000 Mrsbells 2862860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: sorry to hear that I have a 6.5 year old who tells lies sometimes but its usually minor although I tell her even small lies count.<br /> Regarding peeing on his pants, did he have a reason why he didnt go to the bathroom? I don't have any experience with that behavior in a child that age. Hopefully others can chime in with advice soon </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862858 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 21:33:27 +0000 irene 2862858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Thank you so much.... I will check it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862857 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 21:32:06 +0000 DesertDreams88 2862857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>100% developmentally normal, though frustrating. The book NurtureShock has an awesome, evidence-based chapter on this. I'd highly recommend getting it from the library or buying. It has, hands down been my most intriguing parenting book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862854 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 21:20:05 +0000 irene 2862854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: This is the first time that it has been this planned out (or at least I can find out about). That's why I am really worried. He didn't just put things into the dirty hamper, he came and asked for money claiming he finished the task.</p> <p>We have been having potty issues lately. A few weeks back he had swimming lessons and then we have to go to his piano recital afterwards. I laid out his nice pants and told him to wear them, so he can change back into them when he was done swimming. As we were heading out I noticed he smelled bad. I asked if he peed his pants he insisted he did not. We went to the swim lessons. As he was in the swimming pool, I fold his pants and realized he indeed DID pee his pants. DH had to run out to buy new pants because of that. Later on he told me he was afraid of getting into trouble so he didn't want to tell me (because I picked the pants the night before and I'd know). That is at least more "in the moment" rather than the incident tonight.</p> <p>Again. we talked extensively every time he lied. It would happen again. I don't know what to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862850 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 21:08:41 +0000 Mrsbells 2862850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm no expert but I know kids at that age can lie, especially to escape being in trouble. In this case the whole elaborate idea of hiding the clean laundry in the dirty laundry to get the money seems a bit much and is more than just lying in the moment. Maybe he just has a really good imagination? Are the other lies this well thought out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-in-6-7-year-old#post-2862842 Wed, 19 Dec 2018 20:48:01 +0000 irene 2862842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is turning 7 and has been lying quite frequently.</p> <p>We give him $2.5 if he finishes folding his clean laundry all by himself and he's been able to do it. This morning, he got all the clean laundry (that I did last night) from the dryer and claimed that he'd like to fold his laundry. I was secretly so delighted and proud. He came back from school and claimed he wanted to finish it. 15 minutes later, he claimed that he has finished folding everything, and he would like to get $2.5. Trustingly, DH gave him $2.5.</p> <p>All was fine until tonight. I looked into the hamper and it was half full with clothes. It would have been impossible to be so full because the hamper was empty after I did the laundry last night. </p> <p>After a lot of crying, denying, and more lying later, he admitted that he put all the clean clothes that he didn't finish folding in the dirty laundry hamper. The excuses went from he didn't know how to fold them (which is not true), to he was tired, he didn't feel like it, to "his brain telling him crazy things". After everyone was able to calm down, he finally admitted to me that he "liked money more than folding laundry, and folding laundry was hard". I was really disappointed, but at least I appreciated that he was able to tell the truth at the end.... or I hope that's the truth. I told him that I would like to trust him again, and I hope he learns from this mistake and that we can work on being a better person and make good choices / not lie. But I also feel like I have said that just last week.... and the week before... and so on. The lesson was not learned.</p> <p>We have been talking his ears off that lying is one of the worst things you can do. And literally yesterday he asked us what is a "scam" and we explained that that is when a bad guy tells a lie and tricks people in giving them money and we explained how that is bad. I don't know how he could do exactly that the next day thinking it is OK. He has lied before, got caught, apologized, and promised he would not lie again. Rinse and repeat. What he did today was the most elaborate act by far. </p> <p>Is this "normal"? What would you do.... any suggestions? What worked for you? Any advice and sharing? </p>