https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 05:53:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927526 Fri, 30 Sep 2022 20:20:33 +0000 karenbme 2927526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: Totally agree that it’s normal behavior and my Dad needs to either be around more or be an adult and deal with the fact that his granddaughter is in a stranger danger phase. Also brunch, FTW. 🥞 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927525 Fri, 30 Sep 2022 18:03:00 +0000 LemonJack 2927525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: Oh no! She’s acting exactly like a typical two year old. Mine have all been like that at that age.</p> <p>My favorite day date idea is to go out to a nice brunch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927524 Fri, 30 Sep 2022 07:58:43 +0000 karenbme 2927524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bees_knees: that is my preferred solution, but explicitly not what they’re volunteering for. They have a theory that the only reason DD hasn’t warmed up to them is because we’re interfering so they want time alone with her. Really, though, she’s 2 and slow to warm up to anyone, and they’re only around for &lt;24 hours every few months, 12 hours of which she’s asleep, and always want to play in developmentally inappropriate ways. We do what we can to make visits to them (we visited 4 times this summer) but it’s a 3-4 hour drive with a toddler who doesn’t like the car and two 40-50 hour a week jobs vs one retired and one semi-retired empty nester. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927523 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 23:44:10 +0000 bees_knees 2927523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think all of these ideas sound devine! Alternatively, could you put DD to bed a little early and then leave after? Assuming she sleeps well, that is. And assuming you trust your dad/step mom to either stay awake or wake up if they hear her… </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927522 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 22:43:19 +0000 Chuckles 2927522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I was thinking of a relaxed walk somewhere pretty - forest preserve, botanic garden, etc, if the weather will be decent, and then a fancy brunch or lunch somewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927521 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 21:34:40 +0000 Lahela017 2927521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would do a fancy brunch, hang out at a park for a bit, and then get desert someplace else. If it's a nice day and you can't do too much walking, I'd do a short stroll at the park and then play a board game or something at a picnic table. It's it's raining or too cold, I'd go to a coffee shop to play a game. (My husband and I love playing Yahtzee together - it's chill and we can chat about whatever while we play, but it's still fun. Back when our daughter was still a sleepy baby, pre-covid, we would take her along to Yahtzee coffee shop Sunday morning date time, now we try to squeeze in a game after the kids go to bed once in awhile.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927520 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 20:08:55 +0000 karenbme 2927520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: yeah, I can walk. I feel perfectly healthy and would love to be running/doing yoga as normal, but I’m supposed to avoid anything that would make me winded or engage my core, which is basically anything more than walking. 😅 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927519 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 20:04:01 +0000 karenbme 2927519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caitcat: I love this idea, but the one time my dad buckled DD into her car seat he just buckled the bottom part and somehow didn’t see (forgot about?) the chest clip and didn’t tighten the straps and we had to pull over on the side of the highway to buckle her, so there isn’t a lot of trust for them driving her places. But you can’t tell them anything because “we raised 4 kids between the two of us, and you all survived.” But seriously, a plate of drunken noodles and two hours to watch a movie when we’re not already exhausted sounds like heaven.</p> <p>@JJ2626: lol, I would love this, but DH has a thing about massages 😂 I could definitely get behind fancy brunch though. 🥐</p> <p>@LadyDi: Restaurant hopping sounds fun, but I don’t think the timing is going to work even for an early dinner and apps, entrée, dessert is a little less lunch-y.</p> <p>The more I think about splurgey brunch though the more I like the idea. There’s also a nice brunch place up the road from a pie shop and we could do brunch and then pie, or maybe bring home a pie (we had pie instead of cake at our wedding). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927518 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 19:12:48 +0000 Chuckles 2927518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caitcat: ooh, yes! Pre-kid me had no idea how rare quiet time at home would be and how much I would enjoy it.<br /> Are you able to take a walk at a slower pace? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927516 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 17:42:29 +0000 LadyDi 2927516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about a couples cooking class? Or splurge on a decadent lunch? Restaurant hop and pick a different place for apps, then a new place for entrees and somewhere else for a dessert? Or, this is the complete opposite of that, but we have friends who, for every Valentine's day, drive around to all of the different typical fast food restaurants and get what they consider the best thing each place has and then have a picnic (so fries from mcdonalds, frosties from wendys, etc) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927515 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 14:42:47 +0000 caitcat 2927515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So this is probably not what you're looking for since it's not an outing (and is kind of boring!)...but if I were in your shoes, I'd be tempted to ask my parents to take my daughter to the park and maybe on a picnic to get her out of the house for a few hours, and I'd get takeout to eat at home and watch a movie from the comfort of my couch. :) That would check covid-safe boxes for me and still feel like a nice time without a preschooler underfoot for a change of pace. </p> <p>Happy anniversary, however you decide to celebrate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927514 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 13:58:23 +0000 JJ2626 2927514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about a couples massage and a fancy lunch? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/day-date-ideas#post-2927513 Thu, 29 Sep 2022 11:58:41 +0000 karenbme 2927513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have our 10th anniversary this week, and my dad and step mom have voluntold us that they’re coming up to babysit so that we can have some alone time and they can have some one on one time with DD. Our second baby is due in December and with Covid DD (almost 3) hasn’t had a ton of time when she wasn’t either at daycare or with me/DH, so we want to do it, just during the day because we’re not comfortable with them doing bedtime based on statements they’ve made about how most things we’re doing are wrong. But I have absolutely no ideas for what we would do for a 2-3 hour day date. </p> <p>I’m 28 weeks pregnant and have been advised to avoid exercise because of my risk of preterm delivery, so anything with alcohol, coffee or the outdoors is out. Maybe a matinee? I’m still trying pretty hard to avoid Covid as a pregnant person, which would typically, for me, mean avoiding movie theaters. There aren’t really adult-targeted museums in our area. I’m totally stumped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/down-on-marriage#post-2621036 Tue, 13 Sep 2016 21:11:11 +0000 JennyD 2621036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: thanks :). It is hard work, but worth the effort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/down-on-marriage#post-2621009 Tue, 13 Sep 2016 20:29:58 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2621009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: be kind to yourself! It isn't even remotely easy to make marriage work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/down-on-marriage#post-2620991 Tue, 13 Sep 2016 20:13:32 +0000 JennyD 2620991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This popping up is kinda timely... I've been doing a bit of complaining lately. And I realize, this is not who I want to be. </p> <p>I have to remind myself a lot lately, for better OR WORSE, rich OR poor. And remind myself that I said forever, and I meant it. And that we're a team. And it's hard but "the scars you get together are the scars you really covet". I'll tough it out. I love him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/down-on-marriage#post-2620981 Tue, 13 Sep 2016 20:00:30 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2620981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread popped up as a result of one I posted today. So I'm reviving it! I'm in a Happy marriage but it has taken a ton of work and literally at some points scrapping the life we thought we wanted ("signed up for") and redefining our relationship on a new normal. I think that most people go into marriage with unrealistic expectations not of just their partner but of the institution of marriage itself. Many people get married before they fully realize what it takes to run a stable home/family/etc. The balance between the stability of marriage and that yearning for something better/more exciting/sexier is hard and sometimes life is so difficult that it is hard to adjust to reality as compared to the ideal. I don't like the idea of people gutting it through marriage, putting the happy face on, etc. I once asked my therapist "how does everyone do it??" (It = parenting, marriage, career, etc.) She said to me, "no one does it but they just don't admit this.". Since then I've tried to practice self compassion and compassion for others. There's got to be a way to acknowledge the difficult reality of marriage in a way that does not tear someone down, but instead builds empathy. I think a lot of partner complaining stems from disappointment with the institution of marriage that people have a hard time recognizing so they put it on their partner instead. When my friends complain about their marriages to me I try to gently suggest that they practice better self care. That's what gets me through the tough times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590614 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 10:53:22 +0000 atoz 2590614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: I like your way of looking at it..."its just numbers, its like a puzzle you have to let the emotions of it go and work to a solution". That could help me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590598 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 10:32:00 +0000 MrsKoala 2590598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family issues and mental health for both of us (anxiety issues for me and depression for him). These are just topics we tend to avoid unless we are really struggling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590596 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 10:25:16 +0000 Iced Tea 2590596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us, it's money. He doesn't understand budgeting and is not at all realistic about what he needs to save for the future. </p> <p>He is starting to make more, which I envisioned helping our savings, but instead he has been on a spending spree. </p> <p>I know sometimes I make this conversation even harder due to my anxiety about financial security. I grew up in a household that was very financially insecure, and I've been determined to forge a better path for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590582 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 10:05:52 +0000 Chillybear 2590582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For a long time it was money. Growing up my parents were very open and honest with us kids about what they make, what things cost, making a budget, saving for rainy days, comparison shopping. My husbands family on the other hand always had money, but were very frugal and never discussed money management in their household. My husband always seemed like the saver and I was the spender until i got a hold of his credit card statement and realized he had absolutely no handle on his finances. He always would help me pay the bills but would then put everything else on credit with no way of paying anything but the minimum. We had lots of hard conversations, I took over as CFO, revamped our budget, worked a few career moves and after 3 years were finally able to pay off his debt. I remember saying to him many times - its just numbers, its like a puzzle you have to let the emotions of it go and work to a solution. </p> <p>Right now it probably more family... his family is a little salty that we're moving from 10 minutes to 45-60 minutes away. We're living with my parents until we make settlement so thats been rough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590551 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 09:29:49 +0000 Mommy Finger 2590551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I think that's the part that I struggle with the most. . . .he's not going to do anything until he decides to do it. I can't make him do it. But I don't understand truly what's holding him back. I'm at a complete loss. But this might require a whole separate post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590543 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 09:23:53 +0000 Mama Bird 2590543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: we're struggling with the same. Exact. Thing. DH is very talented as a teacher and had a side job as an adjunct lecturer until recently. He'd be so much happier in that career but he has to get a Ph D to have a shot at being a full time professor. And he won't walk away from his horrible job because it pays money (not that it even pays a lot). I mean, he did put himself through school twice and worked his way up from minimum wage dead end jobs, and he feels like he's paid his dues and doesn't want to go back to being entry level anything... but what can you do when life hands you lemons? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590525 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 09:09:46 +0000 atoz 2590525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So ladies, I have to thank you! After seeing so many of you having a tough time with the same topics, I brought it up with DH and we had a brief but honest conversation, defenses down. We're giving ourselves some homework in the love life arena and taking on a bit of a challenge for the next month to see if it can help us restore that part of our relationship back to where we want it to be. It was the best conversation we've had in a while. Thanks all for sharing. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590083 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 15:30:22 +0000 avivoca 2590083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MUI831: This. All of it. I go through this with my husband. He's not content at all with his job but he's terrified of being poor or having a job that brings in less money. I think he'd do great in an academic role and honestly, getting a PhD would just be 4-5 rough years for us that could make everything better. But he's stubborn and feels that it would be unfair to me and the kids (even though I'm the one that says, "I'd rather you be happy than for us to be rich) and he's not going to do anything about it until he decides to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590065 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 15:18:08 +0000 Mommy Finger 2590065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Other than ones previously mentioned, I would say DH's job. He hates it but I don't see him doing enough to change his situation. He lacks confidence when it comes to work so his self worth is pretty low. I get frustrated that he keeps making excuses about why he's not working to better his situation (no time!) but doesn't understand that when he's constantly pissed off, it's affecting our home life. Maybe our kids don't see it but I do. All I can do is encourage him to think about what he really wants to do and then figure out what needs to done to get there. Need to go back to school? We'll make it work. I think he's scared and doesn't understand that a rough couple of years followed by being happy with what you're doing is far more beneficial than being miserable for the next 30+ years doing exactly what you're doing. It's hard for us to talk about b/c he feels like I don't know what he's going through b/c I make more money than him and am pretty happy at my job. He doesn't understand how hard I had to work to get where I am. I'm tired of having the same conversations with him and always have to be careful with how I word things or he'll shut down. I mean, maybe you could do research on what you want to do with your life rather than watch tv for a few hours every night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590057 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 15:11:52 +0000 nana87 2590057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@futuremama: I think we'll end up doing something similar-- fil's name (Eliot) would actually work well for either sex (just adding an l/t to feminize) but I think we'll prob go with variations (Eli or Eleanor) so that we're honoring him but not using the exact name bc it's still too fresh for dh. Plus my due date is right around fil's bday...</p> <p>For all of those saying talking about sex is hard-- dh and I recently found a fun app that's a good ice breaker called "pls pls me"-- you both download it on your phone, and it asks you a series of qs and then you can compare answers (some "decks" of question cards are free and then you have to buy more). Some of the decks are about actual sex, others are date ideas. Definitely a conversation starter and fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590043 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 15:01:29 +0000 futuremama 2590043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have trouble discussing our sex life. When I'm interested, he's not and vice versa. We never seem to be on the same page, but it's tough to discuss without one of us getting frustrated or upset. </p> <p>@nana87: DH and I went through the same thing after his father passed. My FIL's name didn't translate well to little girl names so we used his initials instead. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590040 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 14:57:55 +0000 youboots 2590040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think his demanding travel schedule/career. It's such a paradox. He's great at his job and loves to work and does so to support us but I solo parent a lot. It's hard to be at home and know he is enjoying fluffy hotels and fancy dinners- I know he would truly rather be here but it's a topic we both get defensive about. It's just the season of our lives right now. I quit working last year to SAH. It's all just difficult sometimes. Ultimately I'm really proud of him, and I know he appreciates me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-topics-are-tough-for-you-amp-your-so-to-talk-about#post-2590020 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 14:44:43 +0000 mrsrain 2590020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sex. We've only done it 1.5 times since DS was born over 4 months ago. Once on his birthday, and the other time was interrupted by crying baby.</p> <p>We also have a hard time talking about our anxieties. He struggles from clinical anxiety and I'm a postpartum mama, so there's a lot of that going around lately! </p>