https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 18:52:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983295 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 13:58:54 +0000 HappyBluebird 1983295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. :crying: As for telling family, our parents knew I was pregnant so of course we told them but we told my SIL and BIL about the pregnancy and loss after it happened. For us it was a good decision, my SIL listened and told me what I was needing to hear. Obviously DH and I loved that baby the minute we saw that positive line, however my SIL told me how sad she was for us but also sad that she never got to meet her nephew. It was important to me that she acknowledged our baby and not just the loss. I say if you think it will help to talk to your sister or your mom, you should tell them and not feel guilty about burdening them (I'm sure they wouldn't think you are burdening them) </p> <p>As for people who ask when we are starting a family, I say something along the lines of "we'd love to start our family as soon as possible but sometimes it's just not that easy". That makes most people realize they shouldn't have asked. You do have to be ready for the possible question of why it isn't easy but now that we are a couple months past our loss, I feel more comfortable talking about it openly. </p> <p>If you'd like to talk with ladies who have been there and understand the feelings, questions, etc, the Beyond Miscarriage Support board here on the bee is full of supportive wonderful ladies :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983289 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 13:48:37 +0000 mrsbubbletea 1983289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was me last year. I started miscarrying on thanksgiving. And my sister had her wedding at the beginning of December, and we all stayed in an airbnb, including my parents, grandma, cousins, and aunt. That was hard. I think harder than the holidays, just because I had no refuge to leave and get some me time. I think thats the most important thing with the holidays, just make sure you can be alone/just with your SO and recharge.<br /> My immediate family knew, and that was nice in case I was acting like a jerk, but I am kind of private and so I would have preferred for them not to know. </p> <p>I will say that this holiday season is a lot better for me, since I am due any minute with my first baby! It was a hard year but its about to get so much better. It will get better for you too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983207 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:29:37 +0000 Anya 1983207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss, and that you have to deal with this over the holidays. Talking to your sister first sounds like a great idea. Don't worry about burdening other people, you have to do what's right for you right now, whether that means talking about it or not :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983192 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:14:07 +0000 JMOM 1983192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP that having people to run interference for you is good. I also felt better after telling my Mom after the MC. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983189 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:07:53 +0000 Anagram 1983189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@auggiefrog: that's a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983185 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:54:13 +0000 auggiefrog 1983185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: It might be easier for me to tell my sister in person. We are going shopping for my Mom's Christmas gift tomorrow, and it would be nice to have someone to vent to when I'm ready. I can maybe have her tell my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983173 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:34:40 +0000 Anagram 1983173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@auggiefrog: would your husband call your family for you? Or your mom at least? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983156 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:11:52 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1983156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I had a miscarriage last fall and the holidays were hard. I told my mom and sister after the fact (I'm sure she also told my dad and brother). But it was helpful that I think they did help with some stranger questions about when we will start trying. Even if they just gave the person a death glare and changed the subject for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-a-mc-over-the-holidays#post-1983152 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:05:41 +0000 auggiefrog 1983152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went to the doctor on Thursday and my suspicions were confirmed, I was likely miscarrying at the end of my fourth/ beginning of my fifth week of pregnancy. At least it was early, and I wasn't as emotionally invested in it, but I still feel so empty right now. </p> <p>Even though my family has been very supportive, and has never been pushy or aggressive about when we are going to start having a family, I am still fearful about the 'when are you going to start a family' question. Not really from immediate family, but from others. I feel so fragile right now. For others that have gone through this, how have you dealt with this? </p> <p>Right now the only person in my life that knows about this is DH. We were waiting to tell family over Christmas. I was so excited about Christmas because of this. I'm contemplating telling my mom and sister about the MC, but I'm not sure how, or what it would accomplish. We're not really a very 'open' family. I don't like saying it out loud and right now every time I think about it too much I fall to pieces, but a text seems so crude. I hate putting this knowledge and burden on them, and I don't really want to talk about it, at least not right now, maybe I'll have healed up a little more by Christmas. I guess it would be nice to have someone else who knows to help shield me from anything, or anyone that might cause me to break apart. </p> <p>Any suggestions from other that have had to go through this would be very welcomed right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410625 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:56:03 +0000 katieleigh_82 1410625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMy04OTU5NjE3MDQ0NGNhODAw">&lt;img src="http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMy02OGY2MDhjYjc1YThiYWZm.png" alt="someecards.com - I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner." /&gt;</a> </p> <p>For all the wine girls, I hope this link works!! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410619 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:51:19 +0000 deactivated_account 1410619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is definitely "one more month of leisurely living!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410611 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:45:38 +0000 PurplePumps 1410611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wine... lots of wine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410606 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:41:30 +0000 FaithFertility 1410606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wine!!!!!!! I truly have a HUGE glass and cry!!!!! But it helps to have that moment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410593 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:34:49 +0000 Crystal 1410593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mum: I'm so sorry for your loss!</p> <p>For me, it was going to amusement parks and getting on roller coasters. Also enjoying frozen yogurt- yum! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1410569 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 19:14:37 +0000 katieleigh_82 1410569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mum: so sorry for your loss :crying:<br /> I'm gonna go with my silver lining being a nice glass of wine!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1409028 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 11:04:19 +0000 LindsayInNY 1409028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine was definitely the "more to drink now"! Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1408993 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 10:41:51 +0000 Mum 1408993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you , @lovelyplum. I will cherish my sleep for now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1408979 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 10:30:58 +0000 LovelyPlum 1408979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss :(</p> <p>My silver lining was going running! Though now, on the other side, I would add SLEEP!! Pregnancy insomnia is no joke-so enjoy some sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/forced-to-see-the-silver-lining-after-bfn-or-mc#post-1408939 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 10:06:29 +0000 Mum 1408939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you are feeling bad after a BFN or, like myself recently, after an early MC, there are few things that can make you feel better.</p> <p>After some time of forced acceptance, here are some of the things that I tell myself (in a sometimes a feigned positive tone): </p> <p>:shocked: "Yay, now I can...</p> <p>-drink some wine!"<br /> -go out for sushi!"<br /> -not pee on a stick for a few days!"<br /> -drink NON-DECAF coffee!"<br /> -eat a deli sandwich!"<br /> -stop analyzing every twinge of pain!"<br /> -drink a beer!"</p> <p>What is YOUR silver lining? </p>