https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 01:00:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825343 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 10:50:35 +0000 mrsrain 1825343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Circusbee: Consider it practice for parenthood... Everyone has an opinion, and there are people who will question the decisions you make. My policy is not to engage people unnecessarily, and to show confidence in my decisions regardless of how I am feeling in that moment.</p> <p>You can always respond to a negative comment with something final, such as, "We don't expect everyone to agree with us, but this is the decision we have made for our family." Hopefully the supportive comments will outweigh the rest! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825170 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 10:04:01 +0000 Snowdrop 1825170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm using midwives as do most people in england and I will be having a home birth (not as common). It is a model of care which suits me better and they are highly trained proffesionals who, in all honesty probably have more hands on experience than your average ob. Plus they are so much nicer and actually remember you between visits! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825152 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:54:07 +0000 Circusbee 1825152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: I feel very well taken care of as well. Just the midwives insisting that I take such an active role in my health is important to me! I think that makes me a smarter patient because they arm me with so much information.</p> <p>I am happy with my decision, and I know what the plans are if I develop any higher risk conditions or if an emergency develops during my labor. I think I just need to decide who is worth all of that explanation... and who is just not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825143 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:50:25 +0000 Adira 1825143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Circusbee: Yeah, that's tricky! I'm not sure what to say to people who's opinion doesn't really matter but you feel they are judging you! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825141 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:49:54 +0000 Circusbee 1825141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: yes yes yes! It's so true! Modern midwifery is so different from what I think people have in their minds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825139 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:49:17 +0000 Circusbee 1825139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Yeah, my family who is concerned I do go into depth about my reasons why and all the alternative plans the birth center has in place in case of emergency and whatnot. I care that they are confident in the safety. It's more so the people who I'm not so close to that bother me. I shouldn't care if they approve or not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825134 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:48:46 +0000 mrsrain 1825134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not currently pregnant, but I saw a midwifery practice and had planned* for a birth center birth. I got some negative/concerned comments from some family members, but it was definitely a case of not being educated. We took time to explain our reasons and all of the benefits, and also addressed concerns. the most important thing is that YOU are happy with your decision... nobody else has to live with your decision! FWIW, I loved the care provided by the midwives... I always felt like so much more than just another patient!</p> <p>*I ended up giving birth at the hospital due to high blood pressure at the end of my pregnancy, with the midwives attending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825107 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:39:06 +0000 cyndistar3 1825107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go to a midwife at a very small birth center and I absolutely love it, I love how personable it is there. I have seen the same midwife for all three of my pregnancies so far and it has been awesome. I have had people tell me that I am nuts for going to a place where pain meds let alone an epidural is not an option but I don't care, it's what I am comfortable with :) I don't typically bring it up but if someone asks I will certainly tell them how I feel lol!</p> <p>Eta: when people are concerned about the safety of it I tell them that they won't take high risk patients and that if they have any reason to believe something will go wrong they will deny you service. It usually helps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825103 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:37:49 +0000 Weagle 1825103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Circusbee: I think that, at least in my case, the people that think it's weird have that opinion because they just don't know much about it. It's actually quite difficult to practice as a midwife in my home state, and therefore it's just not an option for most people. Some people literally have no clue what modern midwifery looks like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825095 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:36:02 +0000 Adira 1825095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Circusbee: Maybe you could tell your friends/family that seem concerned that your midwives only take on low risk patients and that if there are any issues, they will transfer you to a hospital/physician. Maybe that will help alleviate any concerns they might have? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825085 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:34:06 +0000 Circusbee 1825085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for your comments. I guess I was kind of hoping that people would be interested in the midwife route, and might enjoy hearing about it, but I forgot that there might be negative opinions as well. I think I should probably just try to avoid sharing that bit of information going forward... I know that in general people are probably just voicing these opinions with good intentions because they are concerned or something, it just makes me feel like they think I didn't put any thought into it... which it totally not true!</p> <p>And likewise, I don't have any judgement for those who chose a medicated hospital birth with an OB or scheduled c-section or anything. I think everyone makes their decisions based on their own personal needs, and that's exactly what they should do! Ugh... sorry... rant over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825081 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:32:01 +0000 Boheme 1825081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not pregnant, but I see a midwife group for care. I prefer the midwifery model, and I just don't discuss it with people. We also have 3 local midwives who were the first in the city to be granted hospital delivery privileges, and they are paving the way for others, as their patient satisfaction rates are phenomenal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825072 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:28:58 +0000 Cole 1825072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am using a midwife group and birth center and honestly I just avoid the topic with people I think won't be supportive. If it still comes up I sort of highlight the parts that I know they are worried about and how that issue is covered. For example, our midwives have ob back ups and they check in with them twice for each mother's pregnancy and again if issues arise. The birth center is attached to a hospital with a high level nicu and midwives are likely to transfer care quickly and well before am issue of emergent whereas you hear stories about people's ob making a decision and wheeling then straight into the or. Most of those decisions aren't actually made in a split second they often feel like it to the parents though so the stories sound extra scary (I know this isn't always the case but in many cases the nurses and doctor are watching a potential issue for 30+ minutes before making the call as opposed to the thirty seconds it can feel like to a nervous patient.)</p> <p>So basically, if the person's opinion is important I try to show them that we covered our bases and didn't make the decision lightly. If it doesn't matter I don't even bring it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825061 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:25:53 +0000 Adira 1825061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My office has both OBs and midwives. I see the midwives because I prefer them and Xander was delivered by a midwife, but it was through a hospital and OBs are on staff if I were to need one. No one really asked me if I was seeing a midwife or OB and I didn't talk about it, so I didn't really get the judgement. Plus I think the fact that I'm still delivering in a hospital probably makes people just assume I'm seeing a normal OB, but who knows! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825055 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:23:19 +0000 gilmoregirl 1825055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just didn't really talk about it. There have been a TON of homebirths in my family, which is not a birth situation I'm comfortable with. So we avoided the subject as much as possible; my choice wasn't right for my cousins and their choices weren't right for me.</p> <p>If you've made the decision that is best for you and your family, I'd leave it at that. </p> <p>FWIW, my OB practice includes 5 midwives who I saw regularly, and a midwife attended my hospital birth because she happened to be the medical person on call the night I delivered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825049 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:21:59 +0000 avivoca 1825049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw a midwife group and delivered in a hospital. If there were any comments, I didn't hear about them. Some people said med-free birth was hard, and it was. If you hear comments, tell them that the topic isn't up for discussion. I never doubted my decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825037 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:18:12 +0000 Weagle 1825037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw an OB group when I had LO, and I'm seeing midwives this time (though I'm delivering in the hospital.) I do get some questions from people in my hometown about my choices, but I just don't really pay attention to it. They're the same kind of questions from the same people that questioned my choices when LO was a baby, so maybe I'm just used to not worrying about it. Should anyone really press the issue, I just say, "We're making decisions that work for our family," and leave it at that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-pregnant-bees-seeing-midwives-instead-of-obs#post-1825023 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:14:33 +0000 Circusbee 1825023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have already made the decision to see a very respectable group of midwives at a birth center in my area instead of an OB for my prenatal care and delivery. I came to this decision for many reasons, and I did a lot of research before coming to this conclusion. All in all, I truly believe it's the safest route for me and my baby (many factors considered, including my age, health, strength, medical history, and family dynamic). </p> <p>However, at 14 weeks, now that I've told most family, friends, and coworkers about the pregnancy, some have found out about this choice through baby-talk conversation, and I've heard just a few kind of negative comments about it. I feel like it's just beginning of hearing other people's opinions on the subject, so I'm hoping there are some others here that have made a similar choice to (ideally) go med-free and hospital-free for their prenatal care and births. </p> <p>How do you deal with the judgy comments?<br /> Have you ever doubted your decision because of comments like this? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602322 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:48:49 +0000 PurplePeony 1602322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have an OB prior to TTC (my PCP does routine stuff like PAPs) so my choices were wide open. I decided to go with a MW group (all CNMs) because I thought it would increase my chances of having few or no interventions. I ended up really loving most of the MWs and had exactly the experience I was looking for, so if we ever decide to have a second child, I'll definitely be going back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602292 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:42:02 +0000 cyndistar3 1602292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have used the same midwife at a birth center all three times because I have severe anxiety in hospitals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602275 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:37:46 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1602275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as @winniebee -- combo OB/midwife practice. I'm seeing the midwife more since I'm not high risk, so hoping to be able to deliver with her. Will definitely deliver in the hospital, but would like to go med-free, which the midwife is super supportive of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602250 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:32:43 +0000 rattles 1602250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm seeing an OB, though my practice has both. It's the same OB I had with DD, but I chose him then because I'd had an outpatient surgery with him in the past and had been really pleased with his approach and bedside manner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602246 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:31:58 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1602246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to use a Midwife that delivered in a hospital, but they wouldn't take me because I'm on Lovenox. So a natural-minded OB is who I went with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602239 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:30:42 +0000 Dandelion 1602239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OB with my last one. I don't plan on having more, but if life throws me a curve ball, I'll always go with an OB after my really BAD experience at the birth center. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602223 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:28:02 +0000 Alivoo01 1602223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OB. Wasn't really familiar or heard of midwife and doulas till HB and while I was preggo. Plus, I had the hospital I wanted to deliver at picked out years before we started TTC. It's a private hospital so only certain doctors can use the facility. I chose my OB based on who delivered there. Totally backwards process I know. ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602221 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:27:48 +0000 Mae 1602221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: even being totally pro-mw, the non-hospital thing scares me too! You just never know what might happen and it is comforting to me that I'm in a hospital with all the associated benefits if anything does go wrong. </p> <p>Also I think there is a LOT of variety in midwives. I had a cousin who had a home birth midwife who (to me) seemed like a bit of a quack. She was super anti-western medicine, basically every bad stereotype you've heard about MWs. She ended up letting my cousin labor at home for 2.5 days before letting her go to the hospital (she'd started asking about going at 1 day but the mw kept telling her that was a bad idea) and then when she finally let her go, told her to LIE and say her water had broken only 12 hrs earlier rather than 2.5 days earlier. Sigh. I think midwives like that give the whole lot a bad name and make people nervous. </p> <p>My practice operates just like a doc office. They do all the exact same tests (blood tests, NT if you want it, anatomy scan, rhogam if you're rh-, GSB, etc). The only difference in care that I see between my OB and the midwives is that the midwives give me an option to opt out of cervical checks before 40 weeks if I want to (and I did opt out), and they spend a lot more time talking to me about preparing myself and my body/mind for labor. Then during the actual delivery they stay with you the whole time, rather than just checking in. And like I said above-- support/have tools to help you go med free if you want to (but they also support you getting an epidural if you choose to go that route). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602172 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:12:40 +0000 littlek 1602172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMini: I wanted an OB for that reason and it's a good thing I did because LO was born at 34 weeks and had to be resuscitated right after birth before being sent to NICU. I can't imagine not having a hospital birth, my LO would have died. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602168 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:11:44 +0000 Weagle 1602168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Had an OB/midwife group for LO. This time I'm seeing a midwife group. We needed to choose a more convenient hospital and this group was the right size and right philosophy for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602157 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:08:27 +0000 MsMini 1602157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: I am an NICU nurse, so in general I favour a more "western/heavily monitored" approach. I had an OB with my first pregnancy as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-using-mw-or-ob#post-1602153 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:07:00 +0000 MsMini 1602153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Glitter: elective repeat ceserean section :) </p>