https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 02:12:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861393 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 19:05:03 +0000 Foodnerd81 2861393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: next time you see it, just go right up to the window and knock on the window and wave. Then make a closing the curtains gesture with your hands. :silly: </p> <p>Just kidding. I would definitely mail a letter saying to please close your curtains. I’m way too non confrontational and awkward to do anything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861380 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 17:24:35 +0000 codeitall 2861380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Yes! Exactly. It is our only social interaction (we talk once every other month at most) and I don't want him thinking DH or I are judging him every time I see him! I'm 90% sure it is his only social interaction, so I really don't want to drive him away from it.</p> <p>@crazydoglady: I feel so silly, I should have thought of this. Writing up a little note now...</p> <p>@Pollywog: I would, but based on our very brief interactions, I don't think he'd pick up on it at all. He'd need it spelled out and I don't think he'd ever talk to me again if I did that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861341 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 14:58:37 +0000 snowjewelz 2861341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Totally agree with this. </p> <p>Yikes! This is truly awkward indeed! I'd totally want to avoid if it wasn't for my kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861277 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 11:48:41 +0000 Mrsbells 2861277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with sending DH over to tell him. I wonder why his tv is set up facing outside anyway? He must get really bad glare on his screen </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861276 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 11:42:26 +0000 psw27 2861276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you trying to avoid a face to face interaction because of the church affiliation? Meaning, you don't want to create a situation where he feels mortified when he comes to church because he knows you know? If so, I think a letter is fine - super simple and non-judgmental just "could you please shut your blinds when you are watching adult content on your tv?" </p> <p>If you aren't trying to avoid face to face, I would totally make DH go over and be like hey dude, no big but shut your blinds. I would be too awkward to do it myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861270 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 11:15:02 +0000 paigeface 2861270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: I agree with this! I would have DH write a letter or mention it to him if you don't know him personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861269 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 11:06:38 +0000 MamaBear87 2861269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: seriously. I also feel like this needs to be directly addressed. Sure it's awkward, but so is seeing someone's TV all lit up with porn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861254 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 10:40:59 +0000 Mamaof2 2861254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: How well do you know him? Would DH be willing to mention it to him? I think it would be least awkward for him to hear it from another guy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861253 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 10:29:29 +0000 Sams Mom 2861253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just knock on the door and say "hey I can see your porn, along with everyone else"</p> <p>Then walk away, there is nothing else to really talk about or discuss. Quick like a bandaid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861249 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 10:19:02 +0000 Madison43 2861249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: yikes. That IS awkward. I’d like to believe that I’d be direct, knock on his door and politely ask him to close his blinds when watching porn in the early evening bc kids can see it and that’s not a conversational I’m up for having, but I’d likely just drop a note saying as much. Unless he’s doing it on purpose (which is a separate matter) I imagine an in person conversation would be just as awkward for him as it was for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861228 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 08:53:04 +0000 Pollywog 2861228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there any way you can do it directly? Something like "hey, it's getting dark so early! It's so nice that we are able to see everyone's Christmas trees in their windows as we walk with kiddo to get the mail. It was crazy yesterday that we could see the Redskins game playing in every house as we walked by. The HD TVs have certainly caused everyone to lose a bit of privacy!". That's easy and avoids calling him out.</p> <p>I hate anonymous notes. I feel like they make people paranoid and cause way more stress than good. It's normally far kinder to indirectly hint at a topic than to make them worry about who saw what and why. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861227 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 08:51:40 +0000 Hypatia 2861227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t think it should be reported to anyone unless he doesn’t close his blinds after he receives the letter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861219 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 08:04:42 +0000 avivoca 2861219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Additionally, could you anonymously report it to the HOA board? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861218 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 07:59:38 +0000 cake2017 2861218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: @codeitall: I like this idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861214 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 04:41:24 +0000 meadow 2861214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a note in the mail. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861212 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 02:04:19 +0000 crazydoglady 2861212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about mailing your neighbor? Something simple like: "Can you please close your drapes while watching certain programs on your tv that are not appropriate for children? The neighborhood can see what is on your screen from the street." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/super-awkward-neighbor-situation-help#post-2861210 Mon, 10 Dec 2018 01:43:39 +0000 codeitall 2861210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't even know what category to put this in and this is literally the only forum I can ask.</p> <p>Twice this last week DH and./or I have come home from work to our neighbor playing porn on his big screen TV clearly visible from our street/curb/driveway. This is an HOA neighborhood that is very kid-friendly, which is why we rent here. I'd be horrified if any child was exposed to it just walking down the street to get the mail after it gets dark at 5.</p> <p>To make things even MORE awkward, we happen to be in the same church congregation where porn is very much a sin, so this must be anonymous. He has a Ring doorbell otherwise I'd just leave him a note on his door.</p> <p>Any bright ideas? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290157 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:47:10 +0000 CarrieLouWho 290157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why I love the Hive! Thanks so much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290154 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:45:15 +0000 MamaMoose 290154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chrispygal: ditto on how to approach it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290147 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:36:24 +0000 chrispygal 290147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with folks re: the screaming. </p> <p>I would approach her on it, thank her for offering, but you and DH talked it over and are really happy with your daycare choice and are going to stick with that. You'll let her know if anything changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290142 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:28:33 +0000 CarrieLouWho 290142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok... I think ya'll are telling what I kind of already knew. Probably not the best situation to get into.</p> <p>So, next question... how would you respond if she brings it up again? Or should I bring it up and say we're just going to do the daycare route? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290138 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:22:44 +0000 MamaMoose 290138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't do it. Even without the screaming there are any number of reasons you could decide that the arrangement isn't working out and as you said you would still have to be neighbors after basically firing her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290132 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:12:18 +0000 chopsuey 290132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto the meltdowns and screaming. I wouldn't feel comfortable having her take care of my LO.. I'd risk daycare and the winter sickies if I were you.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290117 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:00:43 +0000 Rubies 290117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Screaming loud enough for you to hear down the street? Eeeps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290116 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:00:29 +0000 CarrieLouWho 290116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know! It's weird because she is super duper nice whenever we chat and really doesn't seem like a crazy-screamer. She seems good with her kids (is outside with them, takes them to the park, not a super helicopter mom). BUT... we've definitely heard the crazy town screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290115 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:59:23 +0000 Andrea 290115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no...definitely not good re: screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290110 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:56:27 +0000 DillonLion 290110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Agreed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290109 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:55:26 +0000 mrbee 290109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It all sounded workable until you mentioned the screaming! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-vs-in-home-care-at-neighbors#post-290107 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:52:27 +0000 CarrieLouWho 290107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bee’s, I need some advice - (sorry for the long post!!!)</p> <p>We are due with our 1st child at the beginning of October and I’m taking 12 weeks, so I should be going back to work in January. We’ve already found a daycare for our baby girl that is close to work/home. </p> <p>Our next-door-neighbor is a SAHM with a DD in 2nd grade and DS age 4 in preschool. We are very friendly, and always chat when we run into each other, but not super close (no dinners at each other’s houses or anything like that). </p> <p>I ran into the SAHM yesterday and she told me that she wanted to offer to watch our DD when I go back to work in January. She said she hadn’t thought about cost yet, but wanted to see if we were interested. DH and I are interested, but have some concerns. I’m not sure if we want to go down that path or not… here are our thoughts:</p> <p>1. SAHM worked in daycare prior to becoming a SAHM, so she has some experience. However, she has not watched any other children (other than her own), in her own home.<br /> 2. The cost would be less than daycare by around $80-$100 just based on my research of costs in the area. It would be around $12,500 for daycare vs. $6,000-$7,000 if we used her. That’s pretty significant in my eyes.<br /> 3. DD could avoid being in daycare during the super sick months of January – April when she’s so young. Of course she would still be exposed to neighbor’s kids if they have anything.<br /> 4. Since her DS goes to preschool, I’m assuming she’d have to drive him and in turn our DD. Not sure how I feel about her being driven around.<br /> 5. Since our houses are close, we can sometimes hear our neighbors. She has some pretty major meltdowns that include screaming, it sounds like at the top of her lungs. It’s not all the time, but it’s enough that we’ve noticed. This is probably my biggest concern.<br /> 6. If we don’t like how this works out, then we are still neighbors. We would have to see them all the time and of course I hate conflict. </p> <p>Questions we need to address -<br /> 1. Should she have some kind of liability insurance in case something happens to our DD while under her care?<br /> 2. Pricing and schedule + some kind of contract to establish relationship<br /> 3. If SAHM is sick, then we’d have to work out watching DD. Same thing goes for vacations.<br /> 4. If we moved forward, is it weird if we asked for a background check and references?</p> <p>So, I guess I’m asking what would you do? Of course we need to address some of the questions we have… but I’m trying to even decide if we should move forward at all. THOUGHTS??? Am I missing anything we should address? </p>