https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 01:24:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2502020 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:55:29 +0000 hoogirl05 2502020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: Yes, that's one of the big positives in the nanny column now. The only thing is that DD absolutely adores her current school and has since infancy. So such a big change would be really tough on her. We're still weighing a lot of options, but luckily we do have time (before due date and over maternity leave). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2502016 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:52:29 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2502016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the biggest advantages of a nanny is that you don't have to stay home when one of your kids is sick! We had a nanny for the first two years and it was really great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2502011 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:48:11 +0000 sandy 2502011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: completely agree! It's not always about you bringing in more than the cost of daycare. </p> <p>For me, it was relatively easy to choose to SAH. I had worked for 8+ years in my profession and was ready to walk away to SAH. Whenever the time comes for me to work again, it would be in a different capacity (not a private practice attorney) or in a completely unrelated field. I was ok with that. </p> <p>But my advice for any ladies who actually love their job and enjoy it and wish to stay on the career path they are on, is to stick with it. Sure childcare is expensive and it's so hard to balance work and motherhood especially in those early years. But 2, 3, 4 years can quickly pass and the cost of daycare is no longer (or less of) a factor when kids are in school full time. </p> <p>If your job fulfills you in a way that staying home full time does not and if you feel like you'd want to return to your job sooner than later, then I would highly advise sticking with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501981 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:31:38 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2501981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a part time nanny and I will be returning to work in the fall. Day care for three is about $6000 per month here. I do not take home 6k per month.<br /> I've been on maternity leave for 15 months and some days really miss being full time and other days I'm completely happy being home.<br /> If you will miss your work and there are benefits for you to still work I'd stay in the work force. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501979 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:26:47 +0000 hoogirl05 2501979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yes, that's definitely one of my concerns. </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: Yes, I think for me to find balance in life I want both. I have no illusions I can be 100% all of the time in both areas, but I thoroughly enjoy both parts of my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501974 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:23:35 +0000 looch 2501974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took two years off after the birth of my son. It was not planned that way, but I was able to return to work just around the time my son turned two. Any more than that and I feel that I would have been out of the game and probably would be passed over for someone with more relevant experience. </p> <p>I always planned to work, largely because I didn't want my husband to be in the position where he had to shoulder the entire burden for our family. It's not a question of wether or not we could survive on one income (we could) but it's more that nothing is guaranteed these days and if one of us were out of work it would still be okay. With both of us out, we'd be in trouble and I didn't want to deal with that alone as a sole breadwinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501970 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:22:14 +0000 Bluebonnet 2501970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few thoughts:<br /> - If you took the finances out of the equation, do you want to keep working or stay at home?<br /> - If you want to keep working, is it possible to find a different job (at your organization or elsewhere) that is better fit for your family (commute, flexibility, busy season schedule, compensation, etc)?<br /> - Are there ways your current employer could accommodate you better (more flexibility, working from home more, etc) that would make the transition from 1 to 2 LOs easier?<br /> - Does your calculation take into consideration future pay raises/bonuses/reduction in tuition as LOs get older?<br /> - If you aren't working, would you still be paying for part time care so you can freelance? Would the amount you make freelancing offset part time child care?</p> <p>This is a tough decision for sure. If I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to stay at home, I'd probably do as @edelweiss: suggested - return after maternity leave and see how it works for a few months before making any final decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501969 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:21:49 +0000 hoogirl05 2501969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: That will be the REDUCED rate for my DD! Ugh. We're also considering a nanny but that has its own benefits and drawbacks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501963 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:19:40 +0000 avivoca 2501963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: @T.H.O.U.: I'm glad to hear some good stories about switching. I think that is what we are going to have to do if I continue working after #2. We already pay more than our mortgage for just one in daycare, I cannot imagine having to pay $1800/month for daycare. That is almost all of my take-home salary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501962 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:19:06 +0000 hoogirl05 2501962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Thanks to both of you, that's actually my next step, finding a new daycare for DD. Unfortunately, infant care in our metro area is pretty much the same price everywhere but it can vary significantly ($200-500) for 2+. </p> <p>I think a couple of things will ultimately make a big difference for me. First, a shorter commute will be key so I'm going to keep an eye/ear out for positions closer to home. Second, changing my attitude about work. When my daughter has been sick recently, I've let it really stress me out that I'm home with her, but I shouldn't. If something needs to be done, I can get it done while she naps or in the evening. I think being clear about boundaries for my own sanity will help a lot.</p> <p>I think I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to "prove" I can be a working mom since our department is mostly young professsionals or older experts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501958 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:17:54 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2501958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Yea I think at the first place the cost for two would have been like $1800 and we were able to find a new place that brought it down to $1400.</p> <p>I would think if you have a 30-40 min commute there has to be some options along the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501938 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:58:06 +0000 Mamaof2 2501938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ditto @T.H.O.U.: when #2 came along we switched due to the cost and saved $400 per month and we loved the new place (DD is still there) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501936 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:57:41 +0000 edelweiss 2501936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it's different for every person, but i think i would try returning to work after the baby comes, try to get my work to make accommodations where possible, etc. if it didn't pan out then i would take a break and do the freelance thing like you mentioned until i was ready to go back to work FT, but at least i wouldn't be taking myself out of my career path without giving it a try. again, it's a very personal decision and whatever you decide will be great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501935 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:56:48 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2501935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hoogirl05: Are there any other options for daycare? With our daughter we could pay for a pretty expensive site but when adding number 2 we switched centers and saved some money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501934 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:56:21 +0000 PurplePeony 2501934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to work in this industry, so I'm familiar with what it entails. The fact that you have retirement benefits like that is HUGE and pretty unusual in the nonprofit sector, IME. But I think the decision really needs to be based on what is right for you as a person, and your family as a whole, not on "the numbers" and taking some pressure off your husband. Do you want to stay home and think you'll be happy in that role? Will doing some freelance grant writing satisfy you, or will it become another source of stress as you try to handle two kids 24/7 and fit that in somewhere? How many years would you plan to be out of the f/t workforce? Do you think leaving your job to be a SAHM will eventually lead to you resenting your husband? If the answer is yes, that should be a primary consideration. I think it's a whole different scenario if you're unhappy and looking to make a change vs thinking about leaving because the numbers are a wash and hoping to find a similar job you'll like as much in just a couple years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501928 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:52:23 +0000 Trailmix 2501928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in a similar scenario and I am continuing to work bc I don't want a gap in my work experience. In your case, it would be two years until your second could move up to the cheaper tuition rate, which feels like a long time now but in hindsight is fairly insignificant over your long-term career. That being said, I'm sure if you did take time off, you could always get back to or above where you were when you left, might just take a little longer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501891 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:36:38 +0000 hoogirl05 2501891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBeluga: Thanks, good to hear. DH is a "by the numbers" guy so while right now it looks like we would be breaking even to send DD and Baby Brother to school, I do get a great retirement benefit (over 10% of my salary automatically paid by my employer, no match needed) and lots of PTO. </p> <p>I am hoping the frank and honest convo with my boss about my challenges and concerns will help before I go on maternity leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501877 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:23:37 +0000 MrsBeluga 2501877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will be in the same boat this fall, and I have decided to keep working so that my career is not affected by taking a few years off. Its no where near ideal, but for me personally, trying to reenter my niche industry and pretty much starting over 3-4 years down the road would be harder than just hanging in here. </p> <p>Also, I think I am a better mom when I am not with my kids 24/7. During my maternity leave I still plan to send our toddler to her half day preschool, because they are so so good at keeping her engaged, she learns so much, and she really enjoys it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/careers-and-kids-wwyd-sorry-long#post-2501869 Mon, 21 Mar 2016 13:18:24 +0000 hoogirl05 2501869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but here goes:</p> <p>I'm a fundraiser in the nonprofit sector and have been for my entire career (10+ years). I've reached a great point in my career, and my last move landed me at a very highly-regarded research organization. I started when my daughter was about 10 months and am currently pregnant with baby number 2, due in mid-May.</p> <p>We're very excited for #2, but recently discovered that while our daughter's daycare tuition will go down now that she's 2, the tuition for infants has gone up. So my entire after-tax salary would basically be going to daycare. It's a depressing thought and certainly brings up the question of whether it makes sense to continue to work since I also have a 30-40 min commute either way and there are times of year when my work is very demanding and hard on our family schedule, putting a lot of pressure on my husband who has a demanding job as well. </p> <p>My problem is that I worry that any moves further up the ladder later on for me could mean a good bit of travel and other challenges. I know that the costs of care for infants and younger kids are not permanent and will go down significantly in 5 years or less, but in the meantime I feel stuck. </p> <p>I worry that taking time off would mean a backslide in terms of career progression, though I think I'd like to try and do some freelancing (grand writing/research) on the side to keep up professional skills and contacts.</p> <p>We could make my staying home work and my husband worries about our kids and my sanity with how stressful my job can be at times, but I just don't know how to make a leap that would allow for balance between the "professional me" and the "mom me." </p> <p>Anyone else have a similar experience? And make it work? I'd love to hear! </p>