https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 02:04:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-419085 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:58:06 +0000 purrpletulips 419085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My FIL is very hands-off except he started a college savings account for each of our LO and makes regular contributions to those (Christmas and Birthday). We saw him over Thanksgiving where he met DS for the first time and admitted that he is uneasy with little LOs and I respect him for being honest about it. </p> <p>MIL was absent for the majority of DH's life (no contact between age 3 and 28), lives in a different state and us hands-off for the most part. When we had DD she bought a couple gifts and sent something for Birthday/Christmas but hasn't done anything since DS' arrival. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-419073 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:51:35 +0000 Andrea 419073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: OH! Yikes, I didn't know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-419071 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:49:54 +0000 autumnlove 419071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Yeah! I think that is why they are divorced! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-419036 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:37:24 +0000 Andrea 419036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: but your MIL seems to be involved with lots of opinions! I guess she makes up for the FIL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418935 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:06:20 +0000 Lone Palm 418935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't had my baby yet but my in-laws are quite interesting int he fact that their youngest child is not even in double digits yet so they are still raising kids. It's hard for them to play grandparent and parent at the same time...but we do see them often and they do buy gifts for bday's and holidays for their other grandchildren. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418931 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:04:16 +0000 autumnlove 418931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My FIL is MIA and he lives minutes away from us. He just isn't interested in hanging out with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418917 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:01:32 +0000 BKCaribBaby 418917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are somewhat this way. They live four hours away but only visit maybe twice per year and usually for 24 hours or less. DH calls them every few weeks. My MIL will send e-mails once in awhile and we will exchange e-mails. I have to admit that most times I like it, but I do hope that they will visit us here more after the baby is born. I often feel like we have no choice but to visit them if we want to see them for any length of time, and I'm becoming somewhat resentful of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418911 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:59:56 +0000 T-Mom 418911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My FIL is a little MIA, but it's mainly due to being overseas. The kids get their gifts all at once whenever they see him, maybe once a year. The weird thing about him is that he favors all the granddaughters over the grandsons. The girls are showered with gifts and the boys are almost ignored. It's very strange. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418910 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:59:37 +0000 Andrea 418910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: it even took my parents some time for Skype. They finally got it all set up and it's so great to maintain a visual relationship with DD. I hope your in-laws will get it eventually, too. I doubt mine ever will though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418905 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:57:41 +0000 duckduckkristen 418905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws were really hands off the first few months of LOs life, so I hired a babysitter to come one day a week (my family lives far away). All of a sudden they started coming two days a week and spend all of their time here with LO! My family, on the other hand is very hands off. My mom is single and still has my 13 year old sister at home , so as much as she wants to be with LO, she just doesn't have enough time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418889 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:53:25 +0000 mediagirl 418889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: they refuse to buy a computer that will allow them to a. watch videos or b. skype. It drives me crazy. Dh sends them info on good computer deals and his Dad is so stubborn that he just refuses to take his son's advice. No skype for them. Grrrrr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418888 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:52:57 +0000 itsmejules 418888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my in laws are somewhat like this. They enjoy spending time with my LO, but they're social calendar takes presidence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418844 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:42:32 +0000 Andrea 418844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: That is so great that they sent something for her Baptism! And I don't think anyone can use distance as an excuse nowadays. Phone, email, skype, regular mail -- everything is accessible and convenient! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418834 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:39:56 +0000 mediagirl 418834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Yup, as you know, mine are too. They live far away but that is no excuse for not being a part of her special occasions. Surprisingly, they sent a card after her Baptism with a gift. I was shocked! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418828 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:38:45 +0000 Foodnerd81 418828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FIL is pretty hands off. We haven't told our families that I'm pregnant yet, but I know his mom will be over the moon, and his dad will be like, Oh, that's great. I don't mind it for me, but I mind it for DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418827 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:38:18 +0000 Sammyfab 418827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Surprisingly my MIL has been hands-off since LO was born. I thought she would come around more often and offer to help more but she doesn't and only sees LO if either invite her over or go visit. I think she feels like she's imposing if she invites herself over (which is understandable), but I'd like to see a bit more effort! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418808 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:33:55 +0000 Alivoo01 418808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No LOs yet, but my in laws are pretty hands off in general. They're not huge gift giving people either so I wouldn't expect gifts from them except for when the baby is born. My family on the other hand are HUGE gift givers. Hubby knows this as well, and we're fully ready to embrace the overwhelming joy by them when we finally get KU! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418675 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 09:57:05 +0000 Weagle 418675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eek! Mine aren't quite that hands-off, but enough that we would probably only talk to them once every couple of months if DH didn't call. They love to hear from us, but rarely take the initiative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-that-are-hands-off#post-418663 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 09:51:08 +0000 Andrea 418663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I see a lot of complaints (very valid ones) on the boards about in-laws that over step their boundaries. But does anyone else have in-laws that are MIA? My in-laws are almost so hands off that they do not exist. I don't really mind for myself, but it has bothered me at times -- like when they bring no gifts for DD's bday or Xmas. WTF? </p>