https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 20:37:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-2717168 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 02:50:28 +0000 yennguyen1709 2717168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-169566 Fri, 25 May 2012 18:19:04 +0000 Honeybee 169566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom had my oldest sister at 30, and my youngest sister at 40; my dad is a year younger than her. I don't think it negatively affected me or my sisters, to be honest. My parents were super involved with us, coaching our sports teams, chaperoning school field trips, etc... I imagine they were exhausted ALL the time, but it never stopped them from being there and being involved. Even now, my mom and dad chase DD around and play with her as much as DH and I do; you'd never guess that my mom and dad are in their late 60's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-167102 Thu, 24 May 2012 06:57:41 +0000 MsMamaBear 167102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedelia: Wow your mom is busy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-30232 Fri, 09 Dec 2011 11:08:59 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 30232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BTW I had my daughter at 38 and I keep up just fine. I don't anticipate any problems in sustaining a necessary energy level for her or her future sibling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-30181 Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:07:07 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 30181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder how it will be for my niece. Her dad is turning 40 next year, my sister is 37 and they want another child. I'm sure they won't grow old as fast because they want to be active with their children but at one time it will catch up to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-30179 Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:06:08 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 30179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad was 15 years older than my mom, but my dad still did stuff with us. We didn't play outside together when we were younger, but he would bring us skating and we'd visit places (astronaut camp, planetarium, etc) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-29404 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:28:56 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 29404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Let me flip this on its head a little. My parents were very very young when I was born (19). I think that ended up very much affecting my upbringing. It's great now that my mom is just 19 years older than me, but it was sometimes rough growing up. My parents were still trying to figure out what they wanted out of life, and while they were never *overtly* selfish, a lot of family energy went to shoring them up... energy that may have been usefully directed at the kids.</p> <p>It all worked out ok, and I'm sure whether they were younger or older I would have faced challenges, but I knew that I never wanted to be a young parent (teens up to 23) because of my own experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-29400 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:19:59 +0000 erinpye 29400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was 21 and her mom was 43 when I was born. My gramma has been my second mom my whole life and is closer to the ages of my friends' parents than my own parents are. The only thing I can see that I'd worry about if my mom was older, closer to my gramma's age now, is that I'd feel bad that my LO's grandparents were a bit older and wouldn't be there for her when she's my age. I think it was a blessing to have younger grandparents who have been able to do things with me growing up--I remember my gramma rollerblading with me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-29161 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:38:03 +0000 MrsBrewer 29161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I would consider my parents as "older parents" well my mom that is. She was 30 when she had me and my dad was 23 (so young then) but my mom was 38 and dad was 31 when they had my brother and sister. But to be quite honest I've never felt like they were older parents at all. I mean with my brother and sister my mom will still be under 60 when they graduate HS, and they are both in relatively good health. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-29145 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 09:52:45 +0000 mrsjyw 29145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FIL was 40 when he had DH, which isn't so bad now, but back then it was late to have a child. All of DH's cousins on his dad's side are all in their late 40s/50s except one who's still 8 or 9 years older than DH. FIL has always been active and did all the usual stuff with him, though he worked a lot so DH always wishes he had more time with him when he was younger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26186 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:56:00 +0000 AmeliaBedelia 26186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tejbee: I definitely agree with that point - if my mom hadn't had the three of us prior, she would also be different as a mother. It's interesting to think about how 20 years of life experience (whether that involves other children or not) can change a persons parenting philosophies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26069 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:03:02 +0000 cheesetomywhine 26069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum wasn't old, she was 32 when she had me. However my daddy was 60. I don't think it really affected me in a negative way. He was sick though, so I did spend quite a bit of time visiting him in the hospital. When my brother and I were little he played with us outdoors, at the playground, etc. so I never felt deprived. In fact, compared to my friends dad's he was much more involved with us. It was funny to us because whenever we went somewhere, people always assumed he was our grandpa. The only thing that I would have changed was the fact that he passed away when I was 12. </p> <p>My mum took in foster children after my dad passed away and my sister was placed with us. My mum adopted her in 2008. My mum was 48 the year she was born. Mum is now 54 and my sister is 6. I would say that it is som,ewhat different for her. My mum is not quite as active, she unfortunately has back issues from her youth, but she still does plently of activities with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26054 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:39:56 +0000 daniellemybelle 26054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband's parents were 34 and 37 when he was born, which isn't "old", but I think he does feel like he has "old" parents because he has five siblings that are much older than him. His parents were divorced before they married each other and he is their only child together. I think he mostly appreciates getting his parents when they were older - they were more patient, more involved, and much better off financially than they were when his siblings were young. In fact, some of his siblings greatly resent him for this. </p> <p>However, now as an adult, there seems to be a big difference between my parents in their early 50s and his parents in their late 50s/early 60s. It's not that big of a divide in years, but because they have several grandchildren and are nearing retirement, they just seem a different generation than my parents. DH is much more of a caretaker towards them than I am towards my parents, also. He also worries that his parents won't be able to be active in our kids' lives by the time they are here, like they were for his nieces and nephews. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26029 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:03:55 +0000 Mrsbells 26029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were 36 and 37 when they had me and I definitely realized that I had older parents. all my other friends had younger brothers and sisters but since I was the youngest in my family I never got to experience that. My friends' parents just seemed more active and more aware of new trends than my parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26025 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:00:05 +0000 HabesBabe 26025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are older (mom was 36, dad was 40 when I was born) and I don't think it affected my upbringing. I still had a semi-tiger mom (maybe she would have been MORE tiger mom-ish if she were younger) and my dad was happy-go-lucky. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26024 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:59:55 +0000 tejbee 26024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaisyMay: I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. What a difficult time to lose him. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26023 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:58:30 +0000 tejbee 26023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: this is a relief to hear. DH will almost be 41 when we have our first if our TTC endeavors pan out the way we hope this month. I'd be 27, so I'm not too concerned about myself, but we have discussed wanting to TTC sooner because of DH's age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-26018 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:53:32 +0000 yoursilverlining 26018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were a little on the older side (33 and 36 when I was born, 36 and 39 for my brother), and there were never any issues with activity levels or anything growing up. Both my brother and I were involved in lots of activities that required time and energy from our parents, which they always gave.</p> <p>My husband will be 46 when we have our first, and he has some mild concerns. He’s a professor, so most of his/our friends had children later in life. Many of his female friends had babies after 40, having kids before 30 is very rare in our social circle – so its something we’ve seen others his age do, and no one seems to have any trouble keeping up with their toddlers in their mid 40’s. My husband has no real health issues, and neither do any of the older parents we know (nothing that has to do with age, at least). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25984 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:30:34 +0000 tejbee 25984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedelia: That's a very interesting family story you've got there. I imagine it'd be different if parents had a child for the first time when they're older as opposed to having raised children and then years later raising another one. You bring up a good point about your mom not hanging out with the other moms due to her feeling so much older than them...that situation makes me a little sad to think about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25752 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:13:52 +0000 AmeliaBedelia 25752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok so this pertains to my parents but not...me. I was the oldest so my mom was just 21 when I was born. With my brothers she was 24-ish and 27-ish. However, my mom and step-dad adopted my sister 3 years ago. She is 7 and my mom is 42 (43 in 24 days) and step-dad is about to be 49...so technically they were 36 and 42 when she was born, though they weren't in her life until they were 40 and 46.</p> <p>My mom and I have discussed the fact that we were raised differently because she has both learned so much and learned what she'll put up with. In ways she is much more lenient with sister (as far as technology younger, more things in general) but in other ways she is much less lenient (bedtime is always at X time, less leeway) and much less available just due to more time-constraints. She has tried her hardest to do the same amount of activities with my sister as she did with us - she is the Girl Scout troop leader for my sister just like she was for me (and team mom for my brothers), my sister is involved in Dance and in Choir. She does a very similar level of activities - but there are for sure less "play dates." I remember we ALWAYS had some other kids over or were at other houses while our mom's chatted, did mystical "mom things." Lol. My mom now doesn't do that as much because she says she feels so OLD compared to the other moms in her groups. And she is.</p> <p>Her involvement in work is WAYYY more now. My mom is a PhD that teaches on the college level, works as a HS Counselor full-time and does adoption studies. When I was little...she was a SAHM. When my middle brother was born she was a SAHM in a Masters program and when my second brother was born she was transitioning from SAHM to Doctoral candidate and worked part-time. VERY different. </p> <p>She admits she had way more energy with us (she was in her 20s versus her 40s) and both my mom and step-dad do have more health issues now than when younger. My mom had a breast cancer concern a year ago, for example. My step-dad will be 61 when my sister graduates high school. That is insane to us. Heck, I will be in my 30s. *Note: Sister will be 19 when she graduates HS because we held her back a year to catch up. She is not a native English speaker.</p> <p>I thought it was an interesting point of view because it's basically the same PARENTS but at different times completely. And even the sibling relationship is VERY different. I feel like her aunt more than her sister half the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25710 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:21:20 +0000 cupcakemama 25710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were older when I was born and I don't think it was a factor. I never really noticed that they were older, to be honest. They had plenty of energy etc </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25170 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 10:20:54 +0000 MaisyMay 25170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although my mom was only 24 when my sister and I were born, my dad was significantly older (we're talking decades here) and it did affect us. He was of an earlier generation and was very old-fashioned and quite strict. I was okay with that, but my sister rebelled early on. They also ran their own business and that meant our weekends were dedicated to that, not hanging out and going on vacations. We only went on 3-4 vacations growing up, and they were always to visit distant family. Also, he was unable to go to as many places or be as active. The biggest challenge was losing my dad when I was 20, 7 months before college graduation. He was 86 when he passed away due to complications of an exposure from his time serving in World War II. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25123 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 08:30:47 +0000 oliviaoblivia 25123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents weren't old, but DH's dad was 55 and is now 85. It has definitely changed their interactions, growing up and now. Because of his health, he missed our wedding. In fact we had a JOP ceremony near his house so he could see up legally get hitched before we had the wedding. It's so sad to think he might not meet our kids.<br /> It has made the family more interesting though. He had kids young and then remarried so now DH and I have great nephews and nieces. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25112 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 08:02:25 +0000 heffalump 25112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents aren't older but I have cousins with older parents. They're very active, always traveling and doing things. I do wonder about when they get to college age though (middle and high school now ) because I have memories of my parents moving me a million times and that's hard work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25107 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:54:01 +0000 hilsy85 25107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was one of the ones with older parents (my mom was 38 and my dad was 40). I wouldn't say it really affected my life growing up--my parents are/have always been in FANTASTIC shape and seriously look at least a decade younger than they are now. I was never a particularly sport-y kid, so if I had been, it might have been an issue that they wouldn't have done that stuff with me, but I also think that's a generational thing--I can't see my mom playing basketball or baseball, even 20 years ago. As for health concerns, they've both had issues (breast cancer, herniated back, thyroid issues), but none that are related to their age. </p> <p>The only thing that I hate about them being older is that they're older NOW--it makes me sad/upset when I think that they may not be around in 20 years. In fact, it's so upsetting for me that I really try not to think about it. I want them to be a huge part of my kids' lives, and I'm just really thankful that they're as healthy and active as they are (my mom is 64 and she goes to the gym 6 days a week for spin classes!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-if-you-were-born-to-older-parents-did-it-affect-your-family-life-growing-up#post-25103 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:46:27 +0000 tejbee 25103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a spinoff of ANEWME's post about how old your parents were when they had you. </p> <p>If your parents were 38 (seemed like a good number) or older when you were born, do you feel it affected the way you grew up? Do you feel you had better/worse family experiences? Do you feel it did not have any effect/bearing at all?</p> <p>I imagine the common concerns for this would be:<br /> - as an older parent, would they have enough energy to spend time being active with you as a child?<br /> - did your parents have more health concerns/issues than your friends with younger parents?<br /> - anything else?</p> <p>Anyone who has experienced growing up with older parents, what are your thoughts? </p>