https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 19:21:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682981 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 11:52:40 +0000 caterw 2682981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lived with my parents... In the same house... for 15 months. And it was awesome. We all got along really well and DD built such a close relationship with my parents. They are pretty cool and respected our privacy and boundaries. We now live slightly over an hour away and I miss them. DH actually does too- both for their childcare abilities and we just generally enjoy their company. My dad has been contemplating buying the house next door to his and we will renovate it for us to rent/ my siblings to rent down the line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682874 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 10:47:14 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2682874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for your replies! It makes me feel better knowing people have loved being close or would prefer their parents to live closer.</p> <p>As far as the social circle goes, its a good point but I am not really worried about that. They aren't these big social people, like walking around the neighborhood and talking to neighbors and then seeing their kids/grandkids once a week was pretty standard for them.There is a good mix of retired couple in our neighborhood so I know that will be nice for them. </p> <p>I agree they could technically buy anywhere they wanted even if we weren't ok with it but they honestly never would. We have really open communication so if I told my mom we would love them close but not THAT close they would totally understand and be no hard feelings. But I am glad we have the kind of relationship where I know this will work out great.</p> <p>I appreciate all your incite! I am hoping it all works out :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682853 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 10:28:07 +0000 dolphin 2682853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live less than 10 minute drive from my parents. DH's parents currently lives in another state but are planning to move closer to us. They're looking right in our neighborhood and we can't wait for them to move here. We LOVE having family live close by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682848 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 10:23:53 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2682848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>given the way you described your parents, i think it sounds amazing! We are a 10 minute drive from my parents, and see them every Sunday for dinner. They are around to babysit when needed - it is great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682816 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 10:06:48 +0000 pmerr 2682816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in a duplex with my ILs, and I rarely see them at home (only at church/school events multiple times a week, but not much at home). I live 20-30 mins from my parents, so it's a pain when we have to go see them, especially if it's later in the evening or night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682800 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 09:55:45 +0000 SweetiePie 2682800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Define close :silly: My ILs are about 1-1.5 hour drive away and it feels too close because they would come every day back and forth if I allowed it. We see them weekly because I arranged that (so that they'd stop asking all the time), but they put up a big fight that it wasn't enough.<br /> They live 15 mins from my BIL and SIL and they're about to have a baby in a month. I (and they) shudder at the thought of how much they'll want to be there. </p> <p>So for us, my ILs, it would be an absolute no. But my husband would be in agreement. </p> <p>My parents live a 7 hour drive or 1hour flight away. My sister lives 5 miles from them and they still only see them once a week and that's because my mom babysits the youngest one day a week.<br /> My parents are like yours - they get boundaries and quite honestly they have their own lives/work and hobbies and are homebodies so they aren't thinking about us 24/7 like my MIL (she has stayed at home for 38 years and my husband and his brother have been out of the house for 20 years - so she's pretty damn bored). So I think if we lived near them it would be totally manageable and we'd have very separate lives and we'd see each other when it works and no big deal if a month goes by. If anything I'd probably annoy them more than they'd annoy us. I don't think DH would have a problem with it either, BUT someone above made a good point that if they are relocating to live near you they may be more reliant on you since they don't have a huge friend network. </p> <p>Also - if your parents want to buy a lot near you I'm not sure how you can tell them no. I mean, they are adults and it's their money so if they want to buy it they can. They don't need your husbands permission. If you told them though that it might be too close for comfort would they understand? Mine would, but again, they get the whole boundaries thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682788 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 09:40:14 +0000 josina 2682788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live next door to my in-laws (in the country). No 'real' issues. My FIL is a butt so he has been in our house once in 8 years and is a total different set of issues.<br /> My MIL will usually come down once a week for a bit which is fine, it's nice to have her next door so we can borrow back and forth (flour, eggs). She'll come down and take DS for a walk with her or we go see her to get out of the house for a bit. She can be there after school when we get to that point, and is available in a pinch if we would need her to watch DS.<br /> I also grew up next door to my grandparent's farm till 1st grade and loved it, we'd walk over to visit them after school. I was pretty heartbroken when we moved away!<br /> I think it's great for the kids especially. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682777 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 09:19:22 +0000 nana87 2682777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: that's a really important point about whether the parents will have other social outlets! My parents have a weird situation where they half live in my hometown (where my brothers family also is) and half in the city where I am now, and it's great because in both places they have social and professional networks (my dad works in my city, my mom in my hometown). So when they're in either place, they're available to help w grandkids but also have their own social lives and commitments. My mil on the other hand doesn't have much of a network and is super passive aggressive about wanting to be included-- she doesn't live near by but if she did it would be really frustrating and tense to have to figure out boundaries since she'd always be available and wouldn't have any other outlet </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682758 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 09:01:38 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2682758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We share 5 acres with my in laws. It's okay but DD wants to visit everyday and they're almost always home. I'd prefer to see them once a week lol my parents are about 15 minutes away and we see them about once a week. They are very helpful but never in my business. So I guess overall it's a good experience. I'd take issue with my in laws at some point regardless :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682757 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 09:01:22 +0000 threeplusme 2682757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be fine with it. My in laws lived about a 5 minute walk from us and it was reassuring to know in an emergency they were close by. My mother in law would rarely drop by more likely I'd drop by with kids to her house. We've moved and now my sister in law is less than 5 minutes away. Once again I find it comforting to know family is close by. She does on occasion swing by after work but it's nice to have her stop in. When house hunting we had an opportunity to buy the house directly across the street from her. It wasn't our ideal home and I felt it was a little too close. We'd see every move each other made. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682752 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 08:52:26 +0000 Anagram 2682752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Pinecone316: I think in your scenario it wounds fine. But I also think you have an obligation to listen to your husband's worries about the situation. I mean, if it isn't fine with him, why isn't it? Has he had past experiences with your parents that make him wary of this situation? Listen to his fears and together figure out if this will work. Ask him what specific boundaries he would need and then make sure your parents follow that.</p> <p>Also, you might want to let your husband know that your parents are grown adults and you can't tell them where they can and can't move. If they want a new house and it happens to be in your subdivision, you can't stop him. All you can do is set your own boundaries. Don't give them a key if he's not comfortable with it. Don't answer the door if it's an unexpected visit. Etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682751 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 08:52:22 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2682751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends. Could we do it yes. But when we were considering it, DH asked that we not live within walking distance. He wanted enough space that you would have to call and ask to come over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682742 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 08:31:19 +0000 Ajsmommy 2682742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't now. But I grew up right next to my grandparents and an aunt/uncle. Like all three neighbors. It was AWESOME as the kid :) I do remember my mom and dad having some "issues" about it but overall it was great. I think it depends on you/your DH and the relationships/tolerance within the relationships. I know that I could better handle living close to my in laws than DH could handle living near my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682711 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 07:20:11 +0000 Synchronicity 2682711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I lived that close to my parents! We are an hour away and it's too far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682709 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 07:17:42 +0000 ValentineMommy 2682709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live 5 minutes from my parents and love it. They are not intrusive, but they babysit all the time. It's great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682708 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 07:16:51 +0000 looch 2682708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live a 9 minute drive away from my parents, they have a key code to our house. In 4 years they have never shown up unannounced. </p> <p>I don't think it's weird at all to have your parents in the same development, it just might take some discussion around ground rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682707 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 07:13:53 +0000 erinbaderin 2682707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For a while I lived 20 minutes from my parents and while I joked that it was too close it was fine, they never just dropped in or anything. Shortly after we had our first child they moved three hours away and I wish they lived closer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682637 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 22:24:52 +0000 Truth Bombs 2682637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The one thing I would consider since you say you moved out of state, do your parents have a plan for building a social network? I think living 5 minutes from your parents in the town where you grew up is one thing. Having your parents move to be near you is a different animal. You want to be sure you and your husband/children don't become your parents only social outlet because they don't know anyone else. My parents are considering retiring to where my husband and I live but they are looking at 55+ planned communities that would allow them easy opportunities to meet people and make friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682622 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:36:30 +0000 MrsB2012 2682622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom lives about a 5 min walk from me. My sister lives even closer. My dad lives about. 3 min drive. My grandparents less than that. Dh's dad lives a 10 min drive and his mom a 15 min drive. It's fine, never been an issue. It's super handy having my parents close by for babysitting and visiting </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682621 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:17:40 +0000 Boogs 2682621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If everyone respected each other's space, I wouldn't mind. I have several relatives that live within a 5 minute drive or less and I love it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682618 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:11:29 +0000 Smurfette 2682618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't care if my parents lived that close. They would respect we have our own lives and wouldn't just pop over. But I would love being able to call and see if they could help out with LOs if we needed it. Right now they are 45 mins away. ILs are 5 hours away and that is close enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682616 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:08:30 +0000 ocean81 2682616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live about 30 min from each. I wish I lived closer to my parents! Preferably next door :silly:</p> <p>Neither of our parents are overbearing and they both respect boundaries. I'm sure they like their space and privacy just as much as you guys like yours! Besides being great for babysitting, it's also great (in my opinion) that they can see both sets of grandparents a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682614 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:06:02 +0000 snowjewelz 2682614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love 15-20 min from my parents and 30 from his; but his don't go on highways so we usually meet at my SILs. </p> <p>I would not mind living next to my parents! They are not nosy, not overbearing and since my mom helps me, the closer the better 😀 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682611 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 20:58:34 +0000 anonysquire 2682611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live about 5 houses away from my parents and I love it!! No negatives. And I really don't see them anymore than I did when we lived further away. I don't have my mom babysit often just because I don't like to impose. But the kids love walking to grandmas house and waving or saying hi. And it's nice if we did have an emergency we could drop the kids off quick. We also sometimes meet up to go for walks. All in all it's great! They even have a key to our house but I've never been worried that they would come over unannounced or anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-live-very-close-to-their-parents-or-in-laws#post-2682593 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 20:37:51 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2682593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved out of state and bought a new house in a neighborhood that is about 50% done being built. There is a great lot/house that my parents are interested in. I am all for it but my husband is a little weirded out by the idea of it (but not against it). I do agree it sounds weirder than it actually will be. It is a different street but still probably a 1 minute walk. But the lots are large and wooded so there is privacy. They are nice normal people who give us space and never would impose on us. When we lived about 15 minutes away from them before we saw them maybe once a week, they always left it up to us when we wanted to come over. Because I know they are this way I know it will work out and only really see the positives.. like when it comes to babysitting, being close if they or us needed anything, being able to see my mom easily mid week when my husbands working and we are free. I know this would not be an ideal situation if the parents had boundary issues or were needy with spending time with you but my parents are so far from being that way. If my husband said he didn't want them that close then it wouldn't be happening. He has a great relationship with them but since he finds it a little strange its just sort of bothering me.</p> <p>So, has anyone lived very close to their parents or in laws?<br /> Experiences? Good or bad? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parents-ask-you-how-much-money-you-makehave-either-directly-or-indirectly/page/2#post-2458479 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:31:50 +0000 DillonLion 2458479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Talking about money was really taboo in my family growing up. DH and I are really passionate about budgeting/finance so it comes up in conversation, but we don't get too much into the specific details. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parents-ask-you-how-much-money-you-makehave-either-directly-or-indirectly/page/2#post-2458456 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:20:30 +0000 fussygal 2458456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family never asks about those type of things and while DH's family is the type to ask, they've never asked me how much I make. DH however, works for the family business so they definitely know how much he makes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parents-ask-you-how-much-money-you-makehave-either-directly-or-indirectly/page/2#post-2458419 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:59:51 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2458419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! One time my opened my W-2, I was living at home at the time, and she commented she made more than me. I replied "okay." I wasn't going to have a salary convo with her, but I thought she "should" make more than me.<br /> .she"s been working for 25 years longer than me! </p> <p>My parents balk at how we spend and waste, but they have no clue the overall picture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parents-ask-you-how-much-money-you-makehave-either-directly-or-indirectly/page/2#post-2458402 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:48:09 +0000 ms.line 2458402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad knows my and my husband's annual salaries, and roughly our mortgage, student loan, and car payments. He's never asked and I've never offered how much we have in savings or investments, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parents-ask-you-how-much-money-you-makehave-either-directly-or-indirectly/page/2#post-2458353 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:17:10 +0000 gingerbebe 2458353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is Korean too, so talking openly about money and how much junk costs has never been weird in our family. But she's never full on asked how much money DH or I make. Mostly she wants to know how much things cost us so she can get an idea of how much we're working with. She knows how much we paid for our cars, our house, how much student loan debt we've paid off, etc. </p> <p>We have extremely different financial philosophies, however, so her assumptions about our lifestyle is often way off base. My parents are indigent and have always been notoriously terrible with money. They finance everything and consider debt to be a totally normal way of life and don't believe in living below a certain lifestyle. </p> <p>My brother and I, having been traumatized by that upbringing, are hyper vigilant about our finances, debt, and savings. So my mom looks at what I own and thinks I actually make like 2-3 times more than I do because she assumes we're financing everything, whereas DH and I prefer to pay cash for just about everything and live extremely frugally. She honestly doesn't understand why we don't own flashier cars or why we didn't buy a huge new construction house because "the payments aren't that much more." Which is why she thinks I'm being really cheap and stingy when I hesitate on certain expenditures that involve her or the family - because she thinks I have money just laying around. </p>