https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 03:42:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23111 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:05:25 +0000 cyneswith 23111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really agree with mercy rules. I also don't see the point in restricting the number of points a team can score - if a team performs poorly, their score should reflect that. Even at age 5/6, I believed that (my team tended to do poorly.) Middle schoolers should be able to take it, or they should find other extra-curricular activities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23105 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:00:05 +0000 prettylizy 23105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never heard of 'no cut teams'..... we had little league where everyone who signed up got placed on a team, but once they got competitive or travel teams, or school teams, there were cuts. I never once made a school team. I shouldn't say that, when I was in 8th grade, I made 2nd string shot put for track and feild. I still sucked, but no one wanted to throw. That was the one and only time I ever wore a school uniform. My parents and I actually discussed trying out for travel softball, and they were honest and said to me, "You're not a very strong player so don't get your hopes up." I did, however eventually find my niche and became a fairly talented horseback rider, so again, the brutal honesty of childhood sports didn't scar me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23086 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:40:15 +0000 Mrsbells 23086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think kids no the difference between getting a trophy just for participating and actually receiving the winning trophy. I think its important to teach good sportsmanship and healthy competition. I dont think they has to be a mercy rule </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23082 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:34:39 +0000 erinpye 23082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: And the thing is, telling them they're "good" at something they're not, by putting them on a no-cut team, or never letting them get crushed by another team, wastes their time on something they're just not good at when they could be using that time in a true talent. It used to be, you tried things until you found what you were truly good at, not wasting your time being mediocre and protected in something that just isn't for you--you don't make the team, or have a terrible season showing you're just not great at it, you move on to something else, or you work hard and improve--both good life lessons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23077 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:30:32 +0000 ecogirl 23077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Erinpye exactly how I feel! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23075 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:29:39 +0000 erinpye 23075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm actually really tired of parents protecting their children to the point of things like no-cut teams and not letting them lose a game by a lot. It's a life lesson that they need to learn and sparing them all hurt as they grow up isn't good for them in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23020 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:41:10 +0000 ecogirl 23020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I think it's all going to suck for them. Watching the benched kids come out in a flock is going to feel awful. Watching them play with the ball a little more and use slow down antics is going to feel awful. Watching them refuse to score because they are so much better is going to feel awful. Losing 100-2 is going to feel awful. Best to just do it the honest way, imo.<br /> @navymommy I was trying to say that if you teach them to not do their best and coddle the other team now then they'll probably take those early lessons into high school. If they are a great team and can get a 100-2 score they should be celebrated for their win unless they were taunting the other kids or using unsportsmanlike conduct. Just my humble opinion :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23019 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:40:26 +0000 looch 23019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Read NurtureShock by Po Bronson. It is about this very topic and is a great read for parents to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-23012 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:37:49 +0000 Navy_Mommy 23012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: College scholarships aren't based off of middle school pre-season games. </p> <p>I also know my Dad (who coached my sisters' indoor soccer team - I was his assistant, lol) would implement rules with his teams if they were KILLING the other team that the girls had to pass the ball x number of times before even taking a shot. They could continue to score, but it would slow down the scoring. There are SO MANY ways I think the coach could have mitigated the damages without downright insulting the other team. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22997 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:28:37 +0000 ecogirl 22997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl I think it would be because it's just like telling the kids to stop doing their best and stop being good and start coddling the other team. Also it's unfair to the team because those big numbers mean something if they want to go to college on a scholarship. I remember playing sports in school and it was so insulting to hear the coach put the second and third string players in just to get them some practice because you're just that bad :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22992 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:24:40 +0000 mediagirl 22992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: I really don't think if a coach told the team to stop scoring that it was coddling. That was a horrible blowout. I don't believe in coddling either, but that game was just cruel to the other team. </p> <p>@Navy_Mommy: I am so thankful we never got participation trophies through the intramural sports I played as a kid. I can't tell you the amount of times I CRIED at a game, after a game, etc because well, I sucked and the teams I played on sucked. But never in my life did I ever run into a game like that one in that article. That would have just been heartbreaking.</p> <p>@Rosie Girl: I like the way you put it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22991 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:24:39 +0000 HabesBabe 22991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounded like the winning coach did all he could (without being to insulting to the losing team) to "help" them. He pulled the starters 2 minutes into the first quarter and had his team stop paying defense so the other team would score.</p> <p>I mean, I guess he could have had his players run out the shot clock each possession, but I think that would have been worse. I think the refs should have gotten involved and called the game. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22989 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:24:19 +0000 prettylizy 22989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: it reminds me of that scene from the movie "Meet the Fockers" when Robert DeNiro is looking at all the wall of fame Ben Stillers parents have on display and says "I didn't know ribbons when to 11th place"... yeah, we all know what thats like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22983 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:20:09 +0000 junebugmama 22983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: totally agree with you</p> <p>Kids need to learn to lose. Even if it's 100-2. They're going to fail their entire lives at things, they better learn how to deal with it now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22980 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:16:47 +0000 Navy_Mommy 22980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: EXACTLY! I can't count the number of participation trophies I got. The soccer ones were like 3 inches tall, fell apart within a few days, and literally said PARTICIPATION on the little plaque part. If your team placed, you got a real trophy. When we got participation trophies we took it as a hand out and it drove us to do better to get a real trophy.</p> <p>If you hand a kid a piece of plastic and they see their friend get a 3 foot tall trophy that doesn't fall apart they're gonna realize their friend did better than them, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22976 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:11:44 +0000 prettylizy 22976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: I got a lot of those trophies too. I have to say that as a 7-14 year old, I knew the drill, this is the same trophy every gets and that the only reason I earned it was for sticking it out through an entire season. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, my sister and I had tons of participation trophies, but we still put much more value in the trophies that said "1st Place". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22975 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:11:23 +0000 Navy_Mommy 22975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In middle school, our school's field hockey team was exceptionally good since we were the only school in the league that had field hockey in elementary school (just as an after school, just for fun activity since no other schools had teams, lol). My coach had a policy that if we were up by 3 points (field hockey is a REALLY low scoring game) she would pull the starters and let the second and third string players get a shot. This way we didn't humiliate the other teams (they didn't know who was on which line) AND the players who weren't as good got additional playing time. If we were STILL killing it (which happened more than once) she would start rotating people into positions they don't usually play. Again, we weren't insulting the other team while we were still expanding our own skill set.</p> <p>I don't know if the coach of the better team did anything to prevent such a drastic win, but if he didn't I think HE (the coach) should be penalized, not the students.</p> <p>I agree with @prettylizy: in that a mercy rule is just as insulting as losing a game, even if it's by 100 points. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22974 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:10:40 +0000 ecogirl 22974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navymommy I guess we'll agree to disagree. I see the 'everyone gets a trophy' trend as seriously debilitating. I have met many a young college student that refuses to work entry level and feels their degree should get them into a well paying job, their own apartment and what have you. I think finding out what your kids are interested in and giving them access and support in that field is what encourages them to try new things, not 'congratulations on signing up' trophies :)<br /> I do agree that too many parents don't teach their children the meaning of real work. They buy them cars, pay insurance, tell them not to work during college or high school, etc and that really doesn't teach them much besides 'I don't have to provide for myself'. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22961 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:03:42 +0000 Navy_Mommy 22961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: No offense, but I think that's a load of crap. I grew up in the "everyone gets a trophy" generation (and yes, I got MANY "participation" trophies) but that never translated to "I should be given a job with a huge salary for no reason." Giving "participation trophies" to young children is a way to encourage them to try new things. You aren't going to be the best at EVERYTHING you try, but you should still try.</p> <p>Personally, I think a sense of entitlement can be nipped in the butt by the parents. Sure, they can get 10 trophies from every activity they do, but if you teach them the values of hard work (like my parents did) it will stick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22960 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:02:42 +0000 prettylizy 22960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I played softball as a kid, we had a mercy rule as well, but losing 100-2 or being mercy'd (as we called it back then) were equally offensive to the loosing team. Luckily, I survived childhood and have no lasting scars from being a TERRIBLE softball player. I say let the kids play, we need to stop sheltering them. Sometimes IRL, you don't just loose, you loose big, then you have to get back on the horse and do it all again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22953 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:57:55 +0000 Rosie Girl 22953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that after its pretty obvious your team is going to win, you should back off a little. I don't think seeing how high you can get your score is necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22952 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:55:51 +0000 ecogirl 22952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think not letting kids lose, even lose big, is coddling them and leads to the entitled teens we see today. I don't think it's ever alright to encourage a team to not do their best. You see so many young adults enter the real world right now and they feel entitled to great jobs with great pay without working for it because they were never taught any kind of work ethic. I think sports are a great place to start teaching that. I also think when you teach a kid that they should never lose and everyone is a winner you are setting them up for failure or at least a really difficult reality check when they get into the real world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22878 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:29:57 +0000 mediagirl 22878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I play softball with some club teams. We have a "mercy" rule. I totally think mercy rules should go into effect in middle and high school teams, as well. It never feels good to lose. To allow a team to just beat up on another team for the fun of it is just cruel. I understand not having a mercy rule in college or pro, you're adults at that point and can handle it, but I definitely think something should be done in the school years.</p> <p>I also would hold that coach and his/her staff accountable for that score. If they have any feelings at all, there is no way they would have allowed that to happen. Like the article says, the school system needs to take a look at why they would allow those two schools to play against one another. It's completely unfair.</p> <p>When we were in school, we played against other schools in our region and did not play against private schools. If we made it to states, then we would play the private schools. That was done so that the schools that didn't have the budgets that the bigger/private schools had would have a chance. Once you get to states though, it's all over. If you made it that far, you better bring it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22872 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:25:24 +0000 tequiero21 22872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think the schools should teach sportsmanship. it's nice to do your best and win, but it's also not sportsmanship-like to kick the other team's butt (100-2). i think the coaches should bring out the benched people (i know it may be offensive to the other team) and give everyone on the team a shot to play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-this-be-against-the-rules#post-22868 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:22:00 +0000 MaisyMay 22868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lately I've seen several stories of middle school and high school sports with hugely lopsided wins, such as this story with a final score of 100-2. <a href="http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/blog/prep_rally/post/100-2-middle-school-hoops-blowout-may-have-reper?urn=highschool-wp9112" rel="nofollow">http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/blog/prep_rally/post/100-2-middle-school-hoops-blowout-may-have-reper?urn=highschool-wp9112</a><br /> How do you think schools should handle it? I can see teams wanting to do their best, but even with all second stream in, if a win is this dramatic, what do you think a coach should do? How upsetting to be on the losing team! </p>