https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:26:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882562 Mon, 29 Apr 2019 20:35:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2882562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This may sound weird, but I thought of my miscarriage as a right of passage. Even still it was hard in the very beginning. I had about 8-9 days where I knew I was pregnant and the timeframe of my first early loss. I was always saying “if” to others as if that was going to shield my sadness for a second time. It was agonizing waiting until the first appointment. I’d say after the initial appointment at 8 weeks I calmed down and became less anxious and stopped testing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882540 Mon, 29 Apr 2019 16:30:07 +0000 Shantuck 2882540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So happy to hear you are pregnant! I had a successful pregnancy after two losses and then another loss after that. It's really hard to be hopeful after so much loss but I focused as best I could on making it from milestone to milestone and trying to think really positively. For example, once they see that first heartbeat, your odds of a loss dramatically decrease and then again once you get to the second trimester. I also took comfort once I got past the point when all my losses occurred (9-10 weeks for me). Nothing is ever certain in life but try to celebrate the little victories and keep visualizing bringing home that baby. Congrats again! Getting pregnant is part of the battle and there is no way to the other side except pushing through all this uncertainty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882471 Mon, 29 Apr 2019 12:02:04 +0000 ttcgirl 2882471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: maybe if you're not comfortable running, taking long walks might be a better option? I found staying active helped me a lot both physically and emotionally while pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882436 Mon, 29 Apr 2019 07:24:25 +0000 Ajsmommy 2882436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs mama. I don't think there is anything that can stop the worry.... honestly. I would just suggest trying to distract yourself and try to stay busy to avoid the worry. The worry starts as soon as you conceive and it doesn't stop after you've had them either! just a fair warning... as some pp's stated you'll worry about everything... you just have to try to keep it under control and if it gets to be too much do not hesitate to seek help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882411 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 20:34:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2882411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :heart: I had two losses before my son, one that posed some health risks for me, and I don't think I ever got over the worry. I think the pregnancy hormones made it worse too - like at random points throughout the pregnancy I would burst into tears at the thought I might lose him, and I am someone who almost never cries when not pregnant.. The fetal doppler did help, I used it twice/week until he got big enough to be constantly kicking. I will also say that with my loss later in the first trimester, I was quite sick and it made zero difference to the MS when the heartbeat stopped and I was waiting (for a week) on the D&amp;E. I think how you feel at a particular moment has no bearing on how the pregnancy is going...:heart: :goodluck: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882408 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 20:17:32 +0000 crazydoglady 2882408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can absolutely commiserate. My son was conceived after two losses and my first ultrasound with my baby girl was very worrying. Even while I was in labor with her, I was afraid I would lose her. I think because I had read so many more stories of stillbirth etc after having my son. Pregnancy hormones really bring out my worst anxiety. I would like to say that it gets better as pregnancy progresses, but I still found things to obsess over like kick counts.</p> <p>One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that this is just the beginning of worry/concern as a mother. When I was pregnant with my kids, I was worried about pregnancy loss and now I worry that my son will choke on a grape or will never grow out of his speech delay. I worry that my daughter (7 months,) will have an accident at daycare. Someday, I will worry about them getting their driver licenses and whether we will have a good relationship. I dont think worry ever leaves, it just changes. This isn't to say it needs to be debilitating and you get used to your "new normal," but I definitely think it's just a part of being a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882407 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 20:15:52 +0000 Autumnmama79 2882407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: what about filling your time and anxious mind with doing things you won’t be able to do when baby gets here: Pre-natal yoga class? Browsing your fav bookstore? Calling a friend for a walk? Spring cleaning your house? Or if all else fails, you can always pay for a private ultrasound to get you through til your next appt :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882401 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 18:57:40 +0000 magnolia 2882401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: this was me in my first (full term) pregnancy :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882398 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 18:45:35 +0000 PurplePumps 2882398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing. Nothing worked to reduce anxiety. I worried every single day until the end, even as I was in the hospital about to deliver that something could go wrong and they wouldn't be able to do anything in time. But as with everything, just take it a day at a time, and know that today, things are perfect and on track.<br /> A friend of mine got a fetal doppler so that she was able to check the heartbeat whenever she got worried thatworked well after 12 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882397 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 18:44:44 +0000 skinnycow 2882397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so happy to see that you’re having a healthy pregnancy so far :heart: </p> <p>I only had the one loss but I really struggled with anxiety and fear with this pregnancy until I hit about 20 weeks. The only thing that really gave me some reassurance was buying a Doppler and checking the baby’s heartbeat every night. I was slightly obsessive about it but it really helped me.</p> <p>ETA - it’s hard but try not the focus on the symptoms. I haven’t had consistent nausea with any of my pregnancies and I always overthink it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882394 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 18:15:37 +0000 MLE81 2882394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also chiming in just to offer support and commiseration. I completely understand how you are feeling, and I know how hard it is. </p> <p>I am currently 12+3 with my second (DD is 3) after a 6ish week missed miscarriage last fall (as well as an 8ish week MMC in 2013). I found that it was somewhat of a relief to reach that 12 week mark, but now I have my NT ultrasound scheduled for this Friday (I will be 13+1) and I am terrified that there will be bad news of some sort (whether it’s no heartbeat, or a devastating chromosomal issue). Overall, I have a good feeling about this pregnancy and am optimistic about meeting this babe in November, but I suppose part of me is still feeling really guarded based on my previous losses. We have announced our pregnancy publicly so a loss now would also mean disclosing to a much larger group of people, which is something we didn’t have to do either of the last times. </p> <p>I guess my “best” advice would be just to take it one day at a time, and try not to worry about lack of symptoms as a bad sign (it’s better than having symptoms that could signify an issue, right?). I also agree about treating yourself in small ways that won’t increase your anxiety about the effects on baby (I am about to have apple pie and ice cream, but I am not worried about weight gain at this point - not saying I shouldn’t be, just not focusing on it ;) ). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882393 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 17:26:46 +0000 karenbme 2882393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnolia: thanks, sorry to hear about your losses as well. I haven’t specifically tried meditation other than what I do before I fall asleep. Affirmations could help though, I had a volleyball coach in college who was big on mantras. It always felt silly, but I feel like it stuck.</p> <p>@pachamama: That’s reassuring about your nausea coming and going. And of course we’re going to have anxiety, I just hope I can get to a point where it doesn’t disrupt my life.</p> <p>@Autumnmama79: Ugh, I know I should treat myself, but I’m so on edge about what may or may not hurt the baby. Strawberry shortcake? Maybe just strawberries with whipped cream, gaining extra weight at this point is bad for baby. Go for a run? Last time I ran I spotted a little afterwards, could be nothing, but better safe than sorry. It’s such a cycle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882392 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 17:12:40 +0000 Autumnmama79 2882392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: pregnancy after loss is THE HARDEST. Find ways to distract yourself. Indulge in ways you wouldn’t before. Treat yourself. Literally anything to help pass the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882390 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 16:47:22 +0000 pachamama 2882390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been there, it's so hard!I had a really hard time my last pregnancy after my miscarriage. I talked to my therapist about it and she basically told me to embrace the anxiety because of course after all we had been through it will be there. It's almost as hard as it can get. Stay busy and active, that seemed to help.<br /> as for your nausea, I'm sure it will come back in the next few days! Sometimes mine would get better and then so much worse in the next few days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882389 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 16:44:11 +0000 magnolia 2882389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m sorry you are going through this. I had two miscarriages before getting pregnant with my son. There was a diagnosed reason why (uterine septum) so knowing why the losses happen did help me a little.</p> <p>But still very hard. Have you tried any meditation or pregnancy affirmations ? I’m pregnant with my second and. I use the app “insight timer”. It’s free. You can search for pregnancy or birth affirmations and listen to a short meditation. It helps me to be in the moment and give myself positive messages about healthy baby and strength for pregnancy. I also take warm baths with candles almost every night to help relax. </p> <p>With my first I really did not get hopeful until he was born. Which led to anxiety post partum. So I’m trying to enjoy this pregnancy differently this time around</p> <p>Sending you love :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-stay-sane-in-the-first-trimester-after-loss#post-2882388 Sun, 28 Apr 2019 16:38:53 +0000 karenbme 2882388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some background, I lost three pregnancies in Nov 2017, May 2018, and Oct 2018. I fell pregnant again in March and am currently 9+3. My first loss was a missed miscarriage that we discovered at 9 weeks and the other two were ectopic discovered at ~6 weeks, all were cause unknown and assumed to be genetic. Neither DH or I have any living children. </p> <p>I had 3 early ultrasounds, the most recent of which was last Monday at 8+4, and they all showed the baby to be right on track, although the heart rate was a bit high at the last visit. But now I’m on the normal visit schedule and I won’t have another check in until late May. I’m already worrying that things are going wrong because my nausea has gotten noticeably better this weekend. I googled and there are lots of women on the internet who started to see diminishing symptoms around 9 weeks, but I still worry that with all the problems we’ve had my symptoms going away mean problems. </p> <p>So my question for all of you is what worked to reduce first trimester anxiety? I try to set aside some time every night before I fall asleep to send love to the baby, and I’m focusing on taking care of myself to take care of them, but I’m still just worried sick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479744 Tue, 01 Mar 2016 10:54:43 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2479744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479736 Tue, 01 Mar 2016 10:51:53 +0000 MrsRcCar 2479736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shantuck: :heart: </p> <p>Thanks everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479712 Tue, 01 Mar 2016 10:42:39 +0000 DenverMom 2479712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! Wishing you all the best! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479707 Tue, 01 Mar 2016 10:41:05 +0000 ValentineMommy 2479707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa! Congrats!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479697 Tue, 01 Mar 2016 10:36:43 +0000 Shantuck 2479697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: I'm 5 weeks and I opted to avoid betas as well. After my losses, I just thought they would just make me crazy. Congrats on the positive test! Wishing you all the best! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479254 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 21:32:07 +0000 winniebee 2479254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: that's a great approach!! Betas can be so stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479234 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 21:08:02 +0000 MrsRcCar 2479234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: yep. It hit me hard yesterday and this morning but it is to be expected. I have been nauseous off and on for about a week. Hoping with meds will keep it at bay at least some. I don't want to end up in the hospital at all this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479229 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 21:05:10 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2479229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: oh man that must suck to be so sick! Are you feeling sick already?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479219 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:57:32 +0000 MrsRcCar 2479219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I have thought about it. I think it might make me crazy. I might after this weekend. I am looking forward a fun weekend at Mommycon Chicago with my mum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479215 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:56:25 +0000 MrsRcCar 2479215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: yes. They will do everything all in one visit. They did call me in meds. I am hoping to manage my morning sickness better from the start. I lose between 20-30 pounds a pregnancy. I can't afford it this time. Hopefully it won't be that bad this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479214 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:55:33 +0000 Applesandbananas 2479214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: have you thought about getting those clear blue digis with weeks estimators? I used them to see if my hcg was rising. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479211 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:53:58 +0000 delight 2479211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: it's kinda nice not having to stress about betas. Best wishes! Will the end of March be your first scan then? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479210 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:52:59 +0000 MrsRcCar 2479210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So no betas for me! The doctor just wants to wait for my appointment at the end of March unless something happens between now and then. They seem hopeful for me, I am nervous but just telling myself "today I am pregnant" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/excited-but-nervous/page/2#post-2479187 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:42:30 +0000 LovelyPlum 2479187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a strong :bfp: ! Hoping for good numbers for you! :heart: :goodluck: </p>