https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 15:02:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-985841 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 18:31:01 +0000 spaniellove 985841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Huge hugs to you! Having those feelings are totally normal, and it is entirely possible to feel simultaneously empathic for someone else yet wanting to wallow in a little self-pity and grief. And that is so wonderful of you to be such a caring aunt in the meantime. It's not always easy to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-985814 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 18:03:04 +0000 lizzywiz 985814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PointeShoesTutus: I agree with all of the above posters- normal and even healthy to feel that way.<br /> I also wanted to say I know how it is when you feel like you let yourself down :heart: It is hard to live up to our own ideas about ourselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-985699 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 17:11:11 +0000 pui 985699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think feelings are complicated. It's possible to be happy for someone else, and still feel a prick of pain for yourself. You're human, it's normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-985692 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 17:08:27 +0000 PointeShoesTutus 985692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks so much for the thoughts ladies! I feel better having heard other people feel the same way. </p> <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: Absolutely no judgement from me for those thoughts. I've seen some of your posts on the IF threads. You and all the IF ladies are so strong. No one would fault you for thinking that upon hearing a pregnancy announcement. I was caught off guard because we haven't had that struggle yet so I guess I didn't feel entitled to those feelings, if that makes sense. I hope you get your miracle baby soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983792 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 06:45:39 +0000 Dandelion 983792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say your feelings are normal, too. I think it's ok to get to a moment and get impatient and get upset a little about it. Trust me, I know all about feeling happy for people when they have their babies, but sad for myself. It's totally ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983662 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 02:16:48 +0000 lamariniere 983662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Though I am not in your shoes, I would say your feelings are totally and completely normal. I am lucky and have not struggled with infertility. However, when we were TTC, I will admit that it did sting a little each time I heard a pregnancy announcement, even if I was happy for the person. I think it's normal and part of human nature. You sound like you are dealing with your emotions well and it also sounds like you have a very positive relationship with your nieces and nephews! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983659 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 02:11:06 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 983659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally normal. Yikes, I'd had to see what you'd think of me if you heard the thoughts running through my mind daily on the subject. </p> <p>For me, anyone else having a baby hurts me. Bottom line. Do I feel good about it? No. But it's just where I am right now and I accept that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983617 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 00:22:47 +0000 luckypenny 983617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;"realize that it's okay to be happy for someone else and a little sad for yourself at the same time."&gt;</p> <p>This! What you're feeling is totally normal. Sounds like youve got a lot on your plate right now too. share your thoughts with us anytime :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983575 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 23:37:16 +0000 ninja 983575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's okay to feel conflicting emotions! Don't beat yourself up over them :). Congrats on the new niece or nephew too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983574 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 23:36:49 +0000 MrsMccarthy 983574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sweetie! I totally can't believe that you are only just now grieving over this. You have been handed a challenge and while I think it's beautiful that you are so positive about it and embrace it I also think you have every right to feel sad or angry. You have unusual hurdles that you are an amazing warrior for navigating through. I can't wait until its your turn for a baby. I will follow your journey and cheer you on. In the interim take care and realize that it's okay to be happy for someone else and a little sad for yourself at the same time. Sending you bionic hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-guard-by-my-feelings-long#post-983559 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 23:24:03 +0000 PointeShoesTutus 983559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should start off by saying I have the baby rabies big time right now. Funny enough, I think my husbands's biological clock may be ticking louder than mine at this point. I'm almost 30 and he's 37 next week. I've mentioned before, we're both carriers for thalassemia and will be using IVF to have our children. We have some major life changes to navigate in the next 2.5 years before IVF. </p> <p>So, today my SIL (husband's youngest sister) calls to tell us they're expecting baby #3 come January. I'm beyond thrilled for them. I love my niece to pieces and we are my nephew's godparents. I wish we didn't live across the country so we could see them more. When she told us, I immediately started shrieking and jumping up and down. Silly girls such nonsense. I had to run out the door to one of my EI kids I see so I didn't get a chance to talk to DH about the news. I know he feels a bit guilty we have to wait a while before kids because of "him"(his words not mine). (He's being retired because of injuries so we're moving across the country and he's going back to school to start a new career). I've told him countless times that it's ok and that he can't help what's happened but I don't think it's done much to assuage his guilt. </p> <p>On my way home, I started thinking about all the fun things I could purchase for new baby and SIL since I'm a shop-a-holic and baby clothes are my weakness. Then, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit, I had brief "why does it have to be so hard for us?" thoughts. It really caught me off guard. I've never had such thoughts before. Possibly because all but one of our couple friends have had serious difficulties TTC. I was absolutely heartbroken to hear about my other SIL's (DH's other younger sister) miscarriage right at 12 weeks. </p> <p>I guess I'm a wee bit disappointed in myself for allowing myself to have such thoughts. A baby is absolutely a reason to be joyful. My heart hurts a little for my husband because I suspect he feels "behind" in a way since he was the last to get married even though he's the oldest and in all likelihood we will be the last to have kids. He won't admit that in so many words but he's alluded to it a few times. I'm younger than both SILs and am the oldest in my own family. My brother is a hot mess and may not live long enough to have kids (he's battling a serious drug addiction, but that's a story for another day). </p> <p>I'm not really sure what the point of my ramblings is. I was just completely caught off guard by those thoughts and needed to get it off my chest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mrs-jaguar-on-wb-is-pregnant/page/2#post-258792 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 21:08:29 +0000 jaguar 258792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jholler25: haha - this sounds like I'm following in your footsteps! I hope I am! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mrs-jaguar-on-wb-is-pregnant/page/2#post-258777 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 20:52:36 +0000 PrincessBaby 258777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jaguar: I have totally been stalking you on WB:) When you went MIA that day on WB and didn't report anything about poas, just went radio silent - I was like, "Hmmmmm....VERY suspicious that Jag is KU!" Baby Holler is lovely, thank you for asking:) She'll be cooking for 6 months on Friday!</p> <p>I felt the same way - a pro at TTC and totally clueless about pregnancy! I had to quit testing on line tests bc I was so worried about the lightness. When I retested later, I would only use digital, and then I obsessed over if it took longer sometimes to pop up:( I got really freaked out because the first time it only took like 30 seconds, and then a few days later I swear it took a full minute. And I panicked. But even the same brand tests can be different sensitivities. One frer might have a sensitivity of 6.5. Another one might be 12.5, etc., etc. I researched this A. LOT. I'm totally embarassed to admit! </p>