https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 11:14:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833516 Thu, 12 Jul 2018 08:33:59 +0000 ShootingStar 2833516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've done it both ways. When DS turned 3 we had a very small get together where we only invited two other families. One was his best friend from daycare, and the other was close friends who have 2 kids a little older than ours. I requested no gifts and had to fight with my friend not to buy him anything, lol. But I didn't think it was necessary and I thought it would make the other mom uncomfortable since I'd said no gifts.</p> <p>We also had a party for DS last year when he turned 4 and we did the classic kids party at a different play space and we did not specify no gifts. DS knew from other parties he's gone to that kids bring gifts. We also didn't buy him a whole lot for his birthday, since the party was a big expense. So the party gifts gave him a bunch of things to open.</p> <p>We haven't done any parties yet for DD, we'll probably wait until 3 or 4 for her too and we'll have to decide then about the gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833484 Thu, 12 Jul 2018 00:04:14 +0000 QBbride 2833484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ive always requested no gifts. My kids have too much stuff as it is. Honestly I don’t think they associate birthday parties with gifts, which I think is for the better. Sometimes people bring a gift card or $2 which I don’t mind as much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833369 Wed, 11 Jul 2018 12:08:21 +0000 Adira 2833369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do no gifts because my kids are spoiled enough as it is! But we don't mind buying gifts for other kids!</p> <p>And even when you say no gifts, you'll still get some. Xander's closest friends got him gifts, despite the "no gift" request. We just didn't open them in front of everyone and sent them a thank you card after. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833245 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 19:49:27 +0000 Iced Tea 2833245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Yes, you bring five dollars in a card. When we stated on the invite what our child was saving for, we got great compliance with this request. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833237 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 18:49:54 +0000 Pollywog 2833237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No gifts. We have a small house and don't need trinkets. Plus my mom buys way too many toys for the kids.</p> <p>But I love to buy gifts. My deal is that they can have a small party with gifts or big party with no gifts </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833207 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 13:55:28 +0000 Foodnerd81 2833207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Was thinking about this last night and realized I’ve been to multiple birthday parties for a couple of my LOs friends and given gifts at each one, then we had a no gift party so they didn’t get her anything. And it literally never crossed my mind until this thread. Still totally happy to have given them the gifts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833163 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:22:39 +0000 psw27 2833163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind buying other kids gifts at all! I personally say no gifts because we live in a small townhouse and I don't think my kids need 30 gifts for their birthday (when you add up the grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends who do buy gifts and stuff from us... ugh!). I also grew up in a time where I didn't have a big birthday party every year so this wasn't a problem as much for my parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833159 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:12:53 +0000 snowjewelz 2833159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't feel bad; to each their own! Even if I request no gifts for my kids party, I wouldn't think twice giving gifts to other kids parties! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833156 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:06:49 +0000 wrkbrk 2833156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLonghorn: THIS. A book or a small toy wont break the bank for most parents, and kids love giving things to their friends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833154 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:06:04 +0000 Mrsbells 2833154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gifts are the norm for birthdsy parties. I wouldn't feel bad. People are not obligated to spend a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833153 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:05:42 +0000 wrkbrk 2833153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AnnabelleG: This is a relatively new phenomenon ... unless you are inviting 30 kids, I personally would not specify no gifts. I loved having parties as a kid and getting toys! Haha. Why would I take that way from my son? Plus, the parents will choose what is in their price range so don't worry too much about that. I never spend more than $20 on a kid party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833143 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 10:38:03 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2833143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m not sure yet if I will request no gifts or not. LO receives plenty of extra stuff even with no parties at all. To me plenty is one more than what we have bought for him. I don’t mind buying gifts for other people’s kids and until I had my own I went overboard. DH loudly busts me out in front of gift givers that (their) toys get stowed all the time. </p> <p>I agree @crazydoglady: gifts are the norm, which is why you have to specify not to have them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833134 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 09:42:46 +0000 bhbee 2833134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: does that mean they get a 5 dollar bill? I’ve never heard of it but like the idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833132 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 09:29:49 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2833132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we are "no gifts" but I don't mind buying gifts for others at all!<br /> Compared to friends, we have a minimal household (IMO, we are not truly minimal at all - DS has a ton of stuff!) and strongly prefer montessori-style toys. So "no gift" parties just make a lot more sense for our family. It may not be the best thing for other families, and I totally understand that and am happy to buy gifts for other peoples kids.<br /> That said, we're still only attending parties for kids Under 5, so I just buy 1 book each year in bulk, and every kid gets the same thing for the whole year. It makes gift giving SO easy! I let DS pick a book he loves, and he is always excited to share his favorite with his friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833129 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 09:27:07 +0000 Truth Bombs 2833129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't do "no gifts" because I know most of my friends are going to buy them anyway and I just feel like it sets a weird dynamic where if someone followed the instructions and didn't bring a gift, then they feel badly when they see that lots of people did bring gifts. My kids don't NEED the stuff but we have the room in the our and they love getting new stuff so we just roll with it. Though I did tell my husband we are doing a MAJOR toy purge this fall. Both our kids are November birthdays and then Christmas is a month later so I need to clean out some old stuff before we get hit with new stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833116 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 08:59:18 +0000 Iced Tea 2833116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just got an invite that states, "Gifts are absolutely not expected, but if you choose to bring something, skip the Transformers. I know M has probably talked to every one of you about them, but M has absolutely everything he could ever need in that category!" I had to chuckle. </p> <p>I've also received invites that said something like gifts are not expected, but if you must, B likes supplies for art and music. I feel like these kind of invites are a nice middle ground, since you will get some gifts, but it's less pressure if someone is struggling for time or money. </p> <p>If I'm being honest, I kind of dread having to shop for birthday parties. We have mostly done fiver parties ourselves, because the kids like receiving the cards and fives, but no one feels compelled to go shopping! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833110 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 08:53:05 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2833110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: This is me too. I love buying gifts, but my kid's parties have been no gifts. I have no problem with others doing gifts at all. As the only child/grandchild, she gets plenty from families that I don't want to also have her school friends to bring her stuff, but everyone's situation is different so do what makes sense for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833107 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 08:38:21 +0000 looch 2833107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do gifts for birthdays and I have no problem with it...I am also far from a minimalist and I do indulge my son in a lot of material things, particularly learning games, building items and art materials.</p> <p>I also put a lot of thought into what I gift others. I always look for games that can be played in a family setting to add to someone's collection and I am kind of put off by the idea that I wouldn't be able to buy a decent present, but just add more junk to the pile. I will abide by whatever people put on the invitation though. If you request no presents, I will bring a card, but I won't bring a present just in case someone else does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833105 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 08:37:04 +0000 SweetiePie 2833105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’ve done both. And as someone who has said “no gifts” before I truly don’t mind buying gifts for others! I’m not ani-gift. We just live in an apartment and I don’t like to have too many toys at one time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833102 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 08:05:55 +0000 MrsBucky 2833102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't stress- just do what you'd prefer. At 4, I'd probably ask my kid too, though I'm assuming he'd say he wants presents. For his 3rd, I used it as an opportunity to practice thank you notes- he obviously couldn't write them, but I made him dictate a thank you note to me after we opened each gift- he couldn't open the next one until the thank you note was finished for the last one he opened. It extended the joy and set the expectation that when you get gifts, thank you notes are required. As my kid gets older, I may offer alternatives too- would you rather have gifts at your party or do XYZ experience? But really, like others have said- I think folks that request no gifts do it for a desire to avoid junk coming into their homes, and probably have no hard feelings about bringing a gift if you don't feel the same way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833100 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 07:49:26 +0000 pachamama 2833100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I and most my circle do not gifts. I think we're kinda all caught up in the minimalism mentality, and our houses are small. My son for example isn't interested in toys (he likes hoses, shovels, construction sites and pools) so I will forever request no gifts.<br /> I just went to a four year old's party and the biy requested books and PJ donations to give to needy children. I thought that was adorable. Some people did bring regular gifts also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833079 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 05:47:46 +0000 Nutella 2833079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do gifts for our bigger boy because he loves getting them 😬 our baby doesn’t know really, and has so many toys already that we successfully said no gifts for his latest party. People did still give cards/vouchers which was nice (but not expected)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833069 Tue, 10 Jul 2018 00:17:35 +0000 Dahlia 2833069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We say no gifts, but I love buying gifts for other kids! We just don't have tons of space at home so we have to limit the stuff that accumulates. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833067 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 23:54:43 +0000 hummusgirl 2833067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do no gifts but I don't mind buying gifts for others - not awkward at all! </p> <p>I would just think about how many gifts you'll be getting - even with no gifts (which people do follow), my kids still get at least 4 from relatives. Even just those 4 are sort of exhausting for my kids to open and then we have to find room for them. I really wouldn't want like 20 gifts - but I'm minimalist like that. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833058 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 22:28:35 +0000 Sams Mom 2833058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't worry about the parents from the no gift parties; if they don't want to buy something they won't, if they do want to they will.</p> <p>We have done in lieu of gifts, a book (doesn't matter new or loved) when we were trying to grow his book collection (it's a bit out of have now). Some people brought hand me downs, others bought new ones, others bought toys or clothes, and others brought nothing. It all buffs out in the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833055 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 22:11:09 +0000 Foodnerd81 2833055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did no gifts last year- her 4th bday but first party. This year I didn’t say anything so she will get gifts, but she is also a lot more aware of giving gifts to other people, and I often ask her what we should get her friends and stuff. </p> <p>I really wouldn’t worry about the no gift kids (parents) feeling obligated to get a gift- they will, it’s a bday party, and it’s expected. If it does worry you say No Gifts - as long as your LO isn’t expecting them. FWIW at her no gifts party last year, almost half the people brought something anyway, just usually something smaller than they usually would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833053 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 22:10:21 +0000 bhbee 2833053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote because we've done both. they had a combined 5th/2nd party and I said no gifts (we still got some of course). it felt like too much to ask for two gifts and so much stuff. for 6th party we didn't mention so got gifts. it was a smaller party and as they get older gifts make more sense to me - they can appreciate and gifts tend to get smaller.</p> <p>but I wouldn't worry at all about people who had no gift parties! when I ask for no gifts it's not to save people money, it's because I don't want to deal with the stuff involved. so I would never be bothered to buy for someone else even if they got my kid nothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833052 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 22:07:04 +0000 crazydoglady 2833052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't feel bad! Gifts are the norm for birthday parties which is why people specify when they don't want any at all for various reasons. If you are cool with gifts, don't put anything on the invitation but maybe skip the whole opening of the gifts. I'm team gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/presents-or-no-presents#post-2833049 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 21:57:37 +0000 AnnabelleG 2833049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi everyone,</p> <p>My son is turning 4 this summer and I'm curious about parties and presents. About 1/2 of his friends' parents say "no gifts please" on their kids' invitations, the other 1/2 don't mention anything. I wouldn't mind gifts but I feel awkward that friends who had "no gift" parties will feel obligated to bring my kid a gift. Thoughts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-on-your-holiday-wish-list-this-year#post-2638098 Mon, 17 Oct 2016 19:09:58 +0000 birdofafeather 2638098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, this doesn't help you but all I want is a cargo bike so I've requested my husband tell people that they can contribute to that fund as my joint Christmas and birthday gift as it's spendy! </p>