https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 15:28:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827379 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 20:41:39 +0000 Amorini 2827379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah for you! Whether WOH or SAH, I think having a conscious choice in the matter (rather than having circumstances decide for you) is sometimes what makes it so joyful and liberating for some and not for others. </p> <p>For many years, I didn’t have kids (didn’t find the right guy until later and then dealt with IF) so it also bothered me when people complained about kids basically messing up their lives and wasn’t I so lucky to be free... People and their comments!</p> <p>So I relate to your joy but in a different way. I’m ridiculously happy with every part of being a mom, even what others see as the dull or overwhelming bits. If I had been able to have kids earlier, I would have been happy staying home. But having kids later gave me the opportunity to establish a great career, so I love being and feel lucky to be a lean-in working mamma. </p> <p>I also agree with PP that some people are optimists and some are pessimists, no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827217 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 07:28:35 +0000 pachamama 2827217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mommy20: I think it's wonderful that you are so happy. I plan on taking time off when my #2 comes so I love hearing stories like this. You do you. I know many moms who love being home. The time is so short lived when our babies are so young and impressionable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827109 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 14:22:02 +0000 Mrs. Train 2827109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a stay at home mom for 7 years and I loved it. I was good at it and was quite content. Now I work out of the home and I am also content. I think sometimes people just don't realize how their comments can affect people. There is nothing wrong with being happy at home!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827090 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 13:02:45 +0000 lunalove20 2827090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@themrsgoff: your absolutely right couldn't of said it better myself!! " Happy working moms, happy SAHM moms - everybody's awesome and just doing the very best they can." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827086 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 12:54:31 +0000 themrsgoff 2827086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a part-time work-from-home-mom and I love being at home with my little all day. At times, I do miss the fast-pace and income that came with working full-time in an office, but at this stage of life I can't imagine doing anything else. To be honest, most of the time I wish I didn't need to work because I always feel guilty for the times I'm not able to fit my work into his sleeping hours and have to turn on the TV to keep him occupied to I can wrap up a project. Most days, though, it's the perfect arrangement and I really do appreciate the opportunity to be with him all day long.</p> <p>I know a lot of women who really crave and need the ability to exercise their mind outside the home - my mom being one of them, and I completely respect that! Everyone should have the choice to spend these years as they need to without judgement.</p> <p>Happy working moms, happy SAHM moms - everybody's awesome and just doing the very best they can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827082 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 12:17:20 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2827082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who cares what they think? People have so many incorrect perceptions about what being at home with kids is like, what working with kids is like, etc. They might be trying to relate, or just having no filter, whatever. In the end it only matters how you and your significant other and kids feel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827081 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 12:14:21 +0000 mommy20 2827081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: awww thanks!!! everything you said is so true! thanks for your message :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827079 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 12:12:26 +0000 snowjewelz 2827079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, people and their comments! </p> <p>It's GREAT that you are happy and content as a SAHM! You rock and and do you! People who make those comments are either 1) not parents 2) SAH as well but aren't happy 3) WOH and are unahppy 4) WOH and are so happy they can never imagine your side... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827078 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 12:04:07 +0000 mommy20 2827078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for commenting! Everyone made so many great points ~ it is so true that each individual person is going to do what works best for their family! Like others said it is important to recognize happiness will be achieved differently for each person ... we should avoid projecting our own ideas and opinions on others </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827074 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:48:48 +0000 catgirl 2827074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is also important to remember that some people can be happy in (almost) all situations while some people are always unhappy. The unhappy people tend to think others should feel the same way or put their own issues on others. And as previous posters have shared it can go both ways on this topic. </p> <p>There is nothing wrong with feeling happy and content in your current life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827072 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:45:20 +0000 crazydoglady 2827072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: Exactly this. </p> <p>I also WOH and people assume I should be miserable or that my sister who stays home with her 5 kids and homeschools them should be miserable, but we aren't because it works for our personalities/lifestyles/family. I know plenty of people who are unhappy with their situation, so why knock someone who is overall happy with their situation? It's beyond me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827061 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:31:31 +0000 Mrs. Smoothie 2827061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've often felt this way. When we first moved to our current town and friends found out I was SAHM. They would text be numbers of great daycares and nannies. So people found it difficult to know how I can be content as a SAHM. Having said that, as my kids go through to different stages or difficult things arise, then I find myself eager to be working. It ebbs and flows for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827060 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:29:05 +0000 skinnycow 2827060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree with the above comments. I get comments from people all time trying to empathize with me about how hard it must be to leave my daughter at daycare, someone else raising my kid, etc. but I'm totally happy with my situation and I want to work.</p> <p>People are going to criticize/comment on your situation no matter what you're doing, unfortunately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827057 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:21:02 +0000 Mrs D 2827057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not a SAHM, but I frequently get "oh isnt it just awful having someone else raise your kids" comments - or some light version of the same sentiment. I find that most often when people project those types of comments on to me its because they are suffering from their own frustrations or insecurities with their situation - so I let it just roll off.</p> <p>No one should be surprised or shocked when someone is happy in their situation. Sure everything comes with its pluses and minuses but thats just life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827055 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 11:13:49 +0000 808love 2827055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would be happy as a stay at home mom. I am also happy as a working mom. :-) You totally have permission and encouragement to be happy whatever your work/home situation is currently, whether it is different or the same as mine. Being happy with my family work/home choice, is something I can relate to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-stay-at-home-mom#post-2827050 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 10:44:51 +0000 mommy20 2827050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi!! I am a stay at home mom and aboslutely love it! Everyday I am so grateful!! Lately though the reaction I get from others is I should be bored and lonely but I am totally not!! Once in a while of course lets be real but I do really love it more than anything. Even my family has notice how much happier I am! I really don't want to come off the wrong way here (bragging or anything) I just wonder why I am so content when everyone else is telling me I shouldn't be... this is all I have ever wanted to be a mom and stay home and take care of my home -- maybe I am just a 'boring' person who finds it fun doing all those things other people find too simple and uneventful... not sure... just looking if anyone at all can relate!?!?!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765530 Mon, 07 Aug 2017 09:14:15 +0000 snowjewelz 2765530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: Haha aww! Don't look, don't look, ahhh! </p> <p>It's def normal. I have an almost 8 month old and I feel like while she is better at independent play than her sister (b/c she is the 2nd child haha), when she is clingy she is very clingy too b/c she knows she doesn't have me to herself? Haha! I love babywearing! She's currently sick and super attached and I solo'd both yesterday morning. I let DD1 watch something, wore her, and mopped the whole house! I also have "special" toys that I only bust out if I really need to be left alone for a minute. Or teething crackers always does the trick! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765528 Mon, 07 Aug 2017 09:06:50 +0000 looch 2765528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some kids just aren't good at independent play, like my son. I tried everything under the sun, and at the end of the day, he much prefers to be at least in the same room with me.</p> <p>When my son was small and I had to cook, I'd roll the high chair into the kitchen and he'd be content to just watch me. When he got a little bigger, I had a dedicated drawer for him of stuff he could pull out and play. When he was walking, I set up a small table and he'd put croutons on the salads. I'd also give him some playdough and he'd stick pieces of raw pasta in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765494 Sun, 06 Aug 2017 21:51:38 +0000 daniellemybelle 2765494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO had separation anxiety at this age, too. It's rough! I did what many others said - set her up to play nearby. And tried to do as much as I could during naps. This too shall pass! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765401 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 18:43:14 +0000 delight 2765401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is 9m so we are in the same stage. He will play independently for a few minutes if I have given him some interesting toys. He likes things that light up and make noise. If there are buttons to push, even better. If I'm gone too long though he will start crawling around looking for me and start getting into trouble. When I'm in the kitchen I find it best to just stick him in the high chair with some Cheerios or puffsand give him some shakers or spoons to bang on the tray. I also have our jumper/exercauser thing in the kitchen too so I can put him in there. If I continue to talk to him or yell "jump jump" at him, he will stay happy for a bit. </p> <p>Is this your first child? I do find it easier because he is my second so I can ask my 4 y/o DD to sit and play with him and he's usually pretty content if she is there. </p> <p>I do find this stage hard because they're semi-mobile and can get into problems easily so I hate leaving him for too long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765386 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 16:32:31 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2765386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the others have said it does sound normal around that age. You *can* be consistent and say "I will xyz and then I will be right back," and work your way up, but that might be difficult to start at the moment. If it were *me* I would just let LO follow me around the house and then work on small increments of alone time as LO gets a little older. Crying is normal when they want something too, so as long as it's not hysterical crying for a long time and you are consistent about coming back when you say you will ("I'm going to fold this towel and then I will pick you up," etc.) then I think it'll be ok in terms of secure attachment and all of that. :) I would just personally hold off a little and then when you get into it, just expect some resistance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765385 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 16:26:22 +0000 youboots 2765385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is 2.5 now and has always done well playing independently- if anything she's become 'worse' as she's become older in some respects. I think a lot is personality. At that age she would 'read' and stack board books. I agree with giving a snack in the highchair while cooking. Also when she was upset- usually due to teething- putting her in the carrier always helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765382 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 15:12:40 +0000 Boopers 2765382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others it sounds like separation anxiety and totally normal for this age.</p> <p>@hony bologna: I 100% agree with this and try to apply this philosophy to all things parenting. It really helps me handle hard parenting situations when I adjust my expectations based on what's developmentally appropriate for my LO's age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765381 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 15:08:37 +0000 honeybear 2765381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You didn't do anything wrong. </p> <p>I strapped my son onto my back in the Ergo to make dinner or used the high chair and something like puffs or blueberries. I'd fold laundry on the sofa and let him have a few socks to play with. And for getting dressed, I let him hang out with me (but I learned to do this quickly!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765377 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 13:13:55 +0000 FaithFertility 2765377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Msglass: I think it is separation anxiety! DS is 9 months and is pretty good playing alone but if I make eye contact lol forget it</p> <p>What about playing in highchair as you cook?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765376 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 13:02:34 +0000 caterw 2765376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: this is what I do too! If I'm folding laundry in my room, I bring a toy in there. Then I let her play pots and pans in the kitchen while I cook, etc.</p> <p>Also, I have the opinion that the baby is not going to be damaged for life if she cries for five minutes while I move over laundry or go to the bathroom as long as she is in a safe spot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765365 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 10:52:24 +0000 hony bologna 2765365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds normal to me as well. One thing that helped me was realizing that my daughter's behavior was entirely developmentally appropriate and to stop expecting it to be different from what it was - that gap in expectation versus what my child was capable of doing was what was causing frustration, and it frankly wasn't fair to expect her to behave in that way yet because she was not developmentally there. It's so tough. But changing my mindset definitely helped me have more patience and not constantly think I was doing something wrong. Have you considered babywearing? It was a lifesaver for me at that age. Baby was happy to be close to mama, and I had two hands free to do whatever I needed to do. Independent play just gradually got better on its own, and she's great now at 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765356 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 08:46:41 +0000 lamariniere 2765356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds fairly normal to me. My kids were both somewhat clingy when they were babies/young toddlers. I always tried to set up an activity near me when I needed to get things done. Can you put him in a highchair in the kitchen while you are cooking? Give him a few spoons/Tupperware containers to play with while you cook. If you are folding clothes, set up an area right near you on the floor with a few toys or even give him a few socks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765355 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 08:44:02 +0000 DesertDreams88 2765355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 8 months, LO was a big fan of playing with the plastic nesting mixing bowls, banging in the pots with a wooden spoon, and crawling in and out of the few non-locked cabinets. He also liked taking silverware out of the dishwasher but you have to remove any sharp knives first, obvi.</p> <p>For laundry, I would put the washed clothes on the open dryer door, and he'd push them in. Then to unload the dryer, I'd put him in the hamper and jokingly put the clothes on his head (only a couple at a time) I have wide hampers so they'd fall in. I couldn't ever figure out anything for folding though. Just folded FAST.</p> <p>For getting dressed and ready in the morning in my bedroom,he likes to just explore bc he's never in there otherwise. </p> <p>No ideas for how to encourage independence at that age. Just keep trying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sos-what-to-do-when-8-month-old-will-not-play-independently#post-2765351 Sat, 05 Aug 2017 08:34:03 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2765351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I agree. My kids (very attached) were horrible at indiependent play. Especially if they felt locked/confined. We finally gave up the pack and play thing and just let them roam while I go about doing work. Usually the roaming is crying to catch up with me but at least they are close by. While doing dishes they play at my feet or put spoons in the dishwasher (while I load the top). Same for laundry, give them some things to throw in and out of a basket. </p>