https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 08:40:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913687 Thu, 09 Apr 2020 20:55:37 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2913687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My youngest daughter is almost 3 and still like this. At that age what I'd do is strap her into a stroller and go for LONG walks around the neighborhood (like 3-5 miles). It would put my older daughter to sleep but my youngest still felt stimulated by everything she was seeing. It really helped ME deal with her because she'd be calm and I could get out and just walk wherever. </p> <p>I'm actually still unable to sit near her without her sitting on me. Is he standing? I have one of those "kitchen helpers" and I'd put her next to me in the kitchen so she could watch me cook, and she was SUPER young (definitely not walking). Maybe a high chair would work? If she was raised up and near me she was okay with being close instead of on me. But I definitely ran all errands and did many chores with her strapped to my back.</p> <p>I've just had to embrace having a sensitive needy kid because she absolutely needs WAY more physical touch than I was prepared for. She is able to articulate it now though: she'll be playing and stop and then come up to me and say "I need some mama-love, can we snuggle?". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913681 Thu, 09 Apr 2020 20:07:22 +0000 Madison43 2913681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Baby carrier for sure. Take the path of least resistance for now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913680 Thu, 09 Apr 2020 20:00:43 +0000 MrsSRS 2913680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another vote for strap him to your back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913614 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 16:27:16 +0000 foodiebee 2913614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh these are great suggestions, ladies! Thank you! I was actually wondering about leaning in vs. pulling away and what approach was best, so this is tracking with how I was feeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913609 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 15:57:21 +0000 peaches1038 2913609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, I agree with the pp. I’d just put him in a carrier. If there’s something you can’t or don’t want to do with him in a carrier, then put him in a safe place where he can still see you and let him know you hear him when he’s crying and reassure him that you’ll be right back. I particularly enjoy Janet Lansbury’s perspective on most parenting queries so this might be helpful for you: <a href="https://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/04/calming-your-clingy-child/" rel="nofollow">https://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/04/calming-your-clingy-child/</a></p> <p>You’re doing a great job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913608 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 15:51:22 +0000 Kemma 2913608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At this age his wants and needs are the same thing and he may just need the extra closeness to help him get through the change in routine and the increased anxiety that we’re all feeling. If you have a carrier then I would recommend just throwing him up on your back so he can be close to you but you still have your hands free to cook or do housework etc (I legit still do this with my 5yo when he’s starting to lose it!). You could also set up some new activities to try that might hold his interest so you can still do your thing (Zaziplays is a great IG account run by a speech therapist and she shows lots of cool activities for babies).</p> <p>Also, in my experience often the more you try to separate yourself from baby the harder they cling so sometimes the quickest way to independence is to lean in to it which often gives them the security to detach from you.</p> <p>Hang in there, you’re doing a great job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913597 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 14:41:00 +0000 foodiebee 2913597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 10 month old son is very social. He loves to go to daycare and be around the other children of all ages, especially kids in the class above him, who he loves to watch and learn from. He's very curious and *always* on the move and learning and exploring. So, quarantining is starting to get hard. </p> <p>We have a lot going on at the same time right now: ear infections (he needs tubes but can't get seen right now with everything going on), a developmental leap, separation anxiety, teething, and quarantining with only DH and me. DS has been struggling with wanting to be ON us at all times. If we put him down, he loses it. If we sit on the floor to be closer to him and play, he'll climb on us (or at least he would if we let him. He can sit in our laps but he can't use us as a jungle gym!). Yesterday he dropped something he was holding a few inches away and totally lost it, just sobbing. So, there are a lot of emotions in the house right now! </p> <p>Some days it feels like we can't be away from him even inches without him starting to fuss and cry. If I successfully distract him, he'll grin and be interested in the new thing until he figures it out, then it's back to fussing. I want to support him emotionally without coddling him, you know? I guess I'm looking to hear from you other experienced mamas about how you'd handle and interpret these big emotions he has right now. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2785472 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 17:03:52 +0000 MrsSCB 2785472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: he would sometimes pick him up. Other times he'd just rub his back. My son would usually be calm when he was in there rubbing his back. Waiting for the move sounds like a good plan, just so you don't have to do it all over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2785391 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:43:02 +0000 cake2017 2785391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: We are moving in 3 weeks. So pediatrician stated to wait to train too. i like this idea. did your husband pick him up when he cried? </p> <p>His crib is in our room now but he will be transitioning to his own room as well. So a lot here but we will take one step at a time. </p> <p>Thank you for answering even though he’s older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2785351 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 12:00:01 +0000 MrsSCB 2785351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: He's almost 15 months old now, and I am still nursing at bedtime, but no longer to sleep. What helped was putting him into his crib awake. We actually recently had to sort of sleep train again -- we moved, and I think that threw him off, being in a different bedroom. The way we did it was I would nurse him and put him to bed awake. We'd let him cry for 10 minutes, my husband would go in and soothe him and then leave again. And we just repeated that process. My husband went in, because we thought if I was there he would just want to nurse. The length of crying got shorter and shorter until now when I'm able to put him in his crib awake and he rolls over and goes to sleep. Hang in there! I know sleep issues can be so, so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2785347 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 11:51:38 +0000 cake2017 2785347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: Such an old post but how did this go? I am in this right now with my almost 5minth old! thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726722 Thu, 20 Apr 2017 10:57:24 +0000 MrsSCB 2726722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: He cried for 25 min last night before falling asleep. We went in a few times in that period to reassure him and lay him down (he is pulling to stand in his crib now). Then he slept until 6:30! It is so hard, though, I'm afraid I'll cave...Tonight we're trying to put him down without nursing to sleep right from the beginning (last night I nursed to sleep but he woke 15 minutes later, and that's when the crying started). Argh, so hard, I'm just hoping it's worth it :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726311 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 12:39:50 +0000 MrsSCB 2726311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: @LBee: thank you, honestly it would make me feel better to think of it not as separation anxiety. I was thinking maybe that because he cried recently when we left him with our friends to go out for my husband's birthday. He's fine when I drop him off at daycare, though, so maybe he was just grumpy that day. He definitely cannot go to sleep easily on his own at this point, but the weird thing is that once he gets to sleep he does pretty well. Last night after he was finally asleep, he slept until 6:45. Occasionally he will wake at night and be up for an hour or hour and a half though...</p> <p>I'm thinking of maybe trying to sit in there with him tonight...last night we ended up going in and out a bit and he cried off and on until he finally fell asleep :bummed: I just didn't know what else to do. Hopefully this doesn't sound terrible, but I really need that time to myself after bedtime. Struggling for a couple hours to get him to sleep, then basically just going to bed myself is difficult for my mental health.</p> <p>@Mrs. Pickle: I was thinking this seemed like what you guys went through, I'm glad the sleep training helped. I know it'll be better in the long run for him to be able to go to sleep on his own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726304 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 12:27:43 +0000 littlejoy 2726304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Totally, totally agree!! Ours didn't start sleep regression issues until 8 months, and then hit them HARD at every expected age. It was just our way of knowing we had to sleep train (DH and I both work full time, and just happened to be blessed with a good sleeper until 8 months) ... we chose the route that worked for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726289 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 12:02:26 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2726289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds just like what prompted us to stop nursing to sleep and to sleep train. It was a great decision for us. R was doing the same thing for hours in the MOTN too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726286 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 11:58:16 +0000 LBee 2726286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read the first line and thought the same thing as @littlejoy: - this doesn't sound like separation anxiety, it sounds like the inability to self soothe. There are a lot of ways to address this and depending on the way you select there are tons of bees who will give you advice. I personally did sleep training, but that was because it made the most sense for our family. </p> <p>I want to provide the context that I am a full-time working mom (I think you are too?) and I totally understand how hard the crying is. I think you are creating some unnecessary "mom guilt" by making yourself think it's separation anxiety. From an outside perspective it really doesn't sound like it - it sounds like a child that is unable to put himself to sleep and is thrilled when his means of getting to sleep comes in to alleviate his upset. You either need to commit to continuing the crutch or try to break it. People have rocked both ways!</p> <p>ETA: I will say my kid went through some weird stuff at 8 months. I remember just thinking he was freak until I think @gingerbebe wrote that her kid did too. He started waking up really early in the morning inconsolable, seeming legitimately hungry (he had STTN since 10 weeks and was sleep trained at that point). We powered through and he went back to normal. So, my advice could be totally wrong and this could just be a stage. Babies are crazy. There are tons of people that never have to sleep train their kids and the whole "inability to self soothe" thing seems to be bull shit. My kid wasn't one of those, but here's to hoping for the next one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726273 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 11:38:40 +0000 littlejoy 2726273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own (without the crutch of feeding). We went through this at the same time, and ended up doing assisted sleep training. </p> <p>We would stay with her while she fell asleep, but we removed the feeding from bedtime (fed her before we did the bedtime routine). We'd lay her down when she was sleepy (not over-tired is key). We'd pat her back and sit with her while she figured it out. If we tried leaving the room, she would lose her shit (understandably), so the sitting with her until she was out was a good solution for us. </p> <p>It was rough for a few days ... bedtime took 2+ hours the first time (not freaking out crying the whole time), but she just didn't know what to do. By the 5th night, things were much better. I ended up sitting with her for a few weeks, which allowed me to read several novels I had been wanting to read. ;) </p> <p>After a few months, we were able to just put her down, and she'd fall asleep on her own. </p> <p>BUT, she's 3 and still sucks at sleeping, so maybe my method sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-at-bedtime-help#post-2726200 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 09:31:40 +0000 MrsSCB 2726200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is eight months old, and lately bedtime has become a major struggle. I nurse him to sleep, which has been great...until now. I put him in his crib asleep, like I always have, but within 30 or so minutes he wakes up and screams. So I go in and try to put him back down, but as soon as he touches the mattress, he starts to cry. I think it might be some kind of separation anxiety, because if I go in there and pick him up, he is totally fine. Happy, smiley, etc.</p> <p>Anyone deal with this? What do I do? Is it time to break the nursing to sleep habit? I'm not opposed to the idea of sleep training, but the crying absolutely breaks my heart, because he basically never cries otherwise. And I don't know if it would just make the separation anxiety worse, since he's crying because we're not there? But it's been taking two to three hours to get him to stay asleep, and that's not good for either of us. </p> <p>Help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/clingy-2-year-old#post-2624454 Tue, 20 Sep 2016 17:09:53 +0000 caterw 2624454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughhhhhhhh we struggled with this as well... Except DD only loved Mommy. DH was crushed and I felt terrible for him. I tried to tell her that we were all best friends but she just wasnt having it. My ILs were pretty upset about it and would try to make her hug and kiss them- when I saw how uncomfortable she was I just let her make her own choices. Now that she knows she doesn't have to play with or touch anyone, she is typically at least polite if not warm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/clingy-2-year-old#post-2624046 Tue, 20 Sep 2016 09:49:34 +0000 LBee 2624046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Welcome to 2! </p> <p>I kid, sort of. That's sort of par for the course, unfortunately. I have a 2 year old (25 months) and he's like living with a manic person. Separation anxiety peaks around this time, so I'd just roll with it and remind your mom that she can't really be upset at a toddler (thought damn they make it easy to want to be). It'll change as quickly as it began. I would just encourage your parents to interact with him and not push him.</p> <p>I did also take this opportunity to remind my parents that he has every right to not want to be held by them and to have preferences. It was the first time he was actually exerting his independence (in this way) and everything I read seemed to indicate that we should encourage it, not tell him that he couldn't feel his feelings. </p> <p>Along with the clingyness he also started noticing who was around and who wasn't around - i.e. if my husband was late from work he'd say, "where my dada?" I think mentally so much is going on and they are "clinging" to routine. In that case, the vacation and change up could have played a role.</p> <p>ETA: Sorry about the jumbled thoughts. We've been struggling with this, if you can't tell :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/clingy-2-year-old#post-2624037 Tue, 20 Sep 2016 09:26:27 +0000 lioneyes 2624037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BUMP ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/clingy-2-year-old#post-2623761 Mon, 19 Sep 2016 14:46:06 +0000 lioneyes 2623761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS just turned 2 and has been going through a crazy clingy phase. We went on vacation with my parents when he was exactly 23 months, and he refused to be held or touched by anyone other than DH or me. He already had a huge daddy preference, which I get (I am a SAHM, so he's with me a lot) but he used to be obsessed with my dad and love my mom. Now he wants nothing to do with them. The past few days (like, when he hit 24 months) he has been less crazy clingy, but he's still not into my mom and dad (he sees them/spends time with them a few times a week).<br /> As for this being influenced by big changes- he just started school 2 mornings/week, but this phase began 3 weeks prior to that. Obviously vacation was a change in routine, (and he is very into his routine) what with the rental house, new room, seeing grandparents all the time instead of every other day in his own space, daddy around constantly instead of at work, but now we are home and back to normal and he's still being cold to my parents and not letting them hold him, even when DH isn't here.<br /> ANY SUGGESTIONS? Or commiseration? I feel SO BAD (my mom is particularly upset by it, which I just can't even deal with.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-travel-with-dad#post-2604807 Tue, 16 Aug 2016 13:19:13 +0000 lawbee11 2604807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO has flown with DH alone to visit my ILs several times and it's always been fine. She's actually never traveled alone with me...just DH. But I wouldn't consider one of us the primary parent over the other. I think she'd do fine traveling alone with either of us. And I enjoy having a few days to myself at home :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-travel-with-dad#post-2604799 Tue, 16 Aug 2016 13:13:12 +0000 WyattnewbabysMama 2604799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is a lot younger but in May my husband got a business trip in his parents' home town so he took him with him and then stayed through the weekend. (He was 9 months old.) In total he was gone 4 nights and it was my first time away from him. (I couldn't go out of town that weekend.) </p> <p>Honestly, it was terribly hard for me--I missed him and my husband like crazy. But it might have been good for me--I slept in and got some things done and went out to dinner with friends every night. And I KNOW it was wonderful for them. My husband got to be primary parent for 4 days--they really bonded. And my in-laws got some really good quality grandparent time--which I think they really enjoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-travel-with-dad#post-2604756 Tue, 16 Aug 2016 12:33:08 +0000 mauxie 2604756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't done a trip that long but I feel like my kids do great with DH on solo outings/trips. They know it's a bit different from the norm and go with the flow; somehow they are more obedient haha. And yes, it's sadder for me than them &gt;_&lt; </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-travel-with-dad#post-2604753 Tue, 16 Aug 2016 12:32:52 +0000 yoursilverlining 2604753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO traveled alone on a plane with my husband when she was 2 (almost 3) and it was fine. It was her first time traveling just with DH, but not her first time on a plane. For our specific trip, I had been gone on a work trip for several days so she was home alone with DH for the first time for a several-day period, then they flew down and joined me for a few days. </p> <p>I would recommend that your DH make sure to take a few of your LO's favorite toys. Additionally, facetime was great for us (mostly. LO melted down once at being able to see me but not be with me or touch me through the phone). DH also had LO make things for me like cards or pictures or whatnot. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-travel-with-dad#post-2604746 Tue, 16 Aug 2016 12:22:57 +0000 AnnabelleG 2604746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2-year old is going on a trip (4-hour airplane ride) for 3 days with my husband to visit his parents and my son's new baby cousin. He's never been on a trip without me, although he's stayed at our home with my parents for 2 consecutive nights. What have people's experiences been with toddlers traveling without their primary parent? I think I'm going to struggle with it a lot more than my 2-year old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-crying-at-drop-off#post-2603371 Fri, 12 Aug 2016 16:25:55 +0000 Teachermama 2603371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I love that idea. Easing the transition to the teacher's hands in a positive way. Right now it's screaming and the teacher has to hold on to him so he doesn't chase after me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-crying-at-drop-off#post-2603047 Fri, 12 Aug 2016 07:02:20 +0000 looch 2603047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Give him a task to do when he gets into the school, such as bringing the teacher a sticker, or something like that. It takes the focus away from the drop off.</p> <p>This tip was given to me when my son was hysterical at drop offs by a much more experienced mother than me, and it worked! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-crying-at-drop-off#post-2603000 Fri, 12 Aug 2016 02:32:07 +0000 Teachermama 2603000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: thanks for the encouragement. </p>