https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 14:46:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2593340 Wed, 27 Jul 2016 07:16:36 +0000 Modern Daisy 2593340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. I was spanked as a child and I can tell you for sure it doesn't work to correct behavorial issues. It makes kids more aggressive and act out in all the wrong ways. I actually hit my son a few days ago as a knee-jerk reaction when he was tantrumming and hitting me hard and while it got him to stop I still feel terrible and it haunts me. I just kind of think that one day they will be able to hit you back so when that time comes do you want them to be raised with physical violence as a parenting method? Probably not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2593322 Wed, 27 Jul 2016 06:38:43 +0000 ElbieKay 2593322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When this comes up in a social setting, I lie and say things like, "It's a personal decision." But the truth is that I am very judgemental of spanking.</p> <p>My husband's parents spanked him, and he knows I would consider it a deal breaker if he does that to our child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2593313 Wed, 27 Jul 2016 05:25:01 +0000 catomd00 2593313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it's completely inappropriate in my opinion. Hitting an adult or a dog is unacceptable, a child shouldn't be any different. I also don't believe in punishing my child though. Discipline is for teaching, not punishing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2593205 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 20:10:58 +0000 sapphire 2593205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really like the options above - discipline is different than punishment. I don't plan to punish my children (and I don't spank), but I do believe in discipline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592905 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 12:11:00 +0000 MamaBehr 2592905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: thank you so much for showing me this! I clearly didn't do my due diligence and check if this topic had been addressed before, I apologize for making such an error. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592852 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:14:49 +0000 Purpledaisy 2592852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: 👍 Yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592850 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:11:46 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2592850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: This is how I feel- we have to set an example. My son is terrible with hitting and kicking me sometimes and I don't want him to see that behavior from his parents. Especially since I think he hits to try to take control- I don't want to make him think that is right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592844 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:01:52 +0000 Mrs Spoon 2592844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. Hitting is not cool in book under any circumstances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592841 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:59:17 +0000 ShootingStar 2592841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't believe in hitting a child for any reason. We teach kids that hands are not for hitting. And it wouldn't be acceptable for me to hit my DH or even my dog, why would I hit my son? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592838 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:58:24 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2592838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why do we have this conversation come up every few weeks?</p> <p>Here is a really long thread about it that was just 4 weeks ago: <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576505" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576505</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592836 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:57:17 +0000 Maysprout 2592836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I've become more firm in this since kids after watching different parenting styles. There is no doubt in my mind that kids mimic parental behavior.<br /> You can tell by kids phrasing the ones that are torn down at home, they don't magically pick up phrases. I was just talking to DH about how watching our neighbors kids grow has really solidified my opinion. I knew they got screamed at but the other day saw a physical reprimand (not spanking though) of the oldest. The kids purposely try to inflict pain on each other when they get mad, it def seems like they've picked up on their dads expression of dissatisfaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592832 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:56:29 +0000 avivoca 2592832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have spanked a few times. I hate it and don't do it anymore.</p> <p>My husband spanks, but I'm working with him to never do it again because spanking makes me uneasy anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592830 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:51:44 +0000 petunia354 2592830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, that form of punishment isn’t for us. We teach our son that hands are not for hitting and that hitting is not an appropriate action, so how confusing would it be for us to turn around and hit him when we deemed that his behavior was bad? My parents did spank me and my siblings and we are fine, but it’s still not how I want to handle our discipline.</p> <p>To each their own though, no judgement. I know parenting can be HARD and sometimes you do what you have to do in the moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592828 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:51:40 +0000 yoursilverlining 2592828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: agree completely. "We don't hit" and "we don't allow others to hit us" is a core teaching to our LO and it comes with no exceptions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592822 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:47:21 +0000 Adira 2592822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I feel like it would send a mixed message since I'm trying to teach my boys that you don't hit someone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592821 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:45:55 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2592821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. My DD is too young to be disciplined right now. I know the expression is "never say never" but I can firmly say I will never spank. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-views-on-spanking#post-2592817 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:40:54 +0000 MamaBehr 2592817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just curious. Do you spank? You do not have to explain why or why not, just do you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576505 Tue, 28 Jun 2016 07:07:10 +0000 LulaBee 2576505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I spanked DD once, and never again. It's just not okay to hit another person, and I did it out of anger and that's about me, not her.</p> <p>None of my friends spank their kids. My in-laws, who just got custody of my niece, threatened to spank her at dinner the other night and it kind of shocked me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576499 Tue, 28 Jun 2016 06:46:14 +0000 ValentineMommy 2576499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't spanked (though I remember being threatened a few times). DH was....definitely was.</p> <p>We do not spank, and honestly, have not seen any reason to need to either. I have no idea if anyone I know spanks, but I'm guessing not....I don't really know though.</p> <p>The only "hitting" I've ever done is to swat away DS's hand when he was little and about to touch something dangerous (stove, heater, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576270 Mon, 27 Jun 2016 15:33:41 +0000 Maysprout 2576270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't think of anyone who does as part of their parenting. I'm sure there's been people who have swatted or spanked their kid before but I can't think of anyone IRL who does as a part of parenting or has admitted to it. </p> <p>When I did the big brother/sister organization in grad school, my 'little sister' had a brother who was about 10, he was close to his moms size and she was a single mom. She had utilized spankng pretty heavily and really had no clue how to deal with him now that she couldn't use it anymore (though she still tried). It was horrible to watch and listen to. That pretty much cemented iny head that kids need to learn self control, self responsibility and thinking for themselves from an early age bc once they're big, they're not all of a sudden going to have magically matured and i can't see what lesson is learned from spanking except negative ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2576244 Mon, 27 Jun 2016 15:09:50 +0000 magnoliamama42 2576244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was spanked a lot as a kid. Sometimes I had to go choose which belt would be used. My parents were and are amazing parents, I have no idea what they were thinking. I remember those times vividly and I still feel hurt (I'm in my early 30s now). For years, into young adulthood, I couldn't have anyone even act like they were going to hit me between my lower back to knees without flinching. My parents were not abusive! They were loving, attentive, and compassionate. They were also educated, had well-paying jobs, etc. This was just how everyone around them parented.</p> <p>I do not want that for my child. It makes me ill to think about. At the same time, I know I have my mother's temper in me and I'm terrified that one day I will feel the need to swat my daughter's leg. I'm praying that I have the ability to stop myself. I don't want to turn into that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575678 Mon, 27 Jun 2016 04:58:49 +0000 periwinklebee 2575678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I won't do it. I was spanked as a child and it never made sense to me, why it was ok for my parents to hit me but not for anyone else to hit each other. When my parents spanked me, it was done in a controlled way and never left a mark, yet some of my most vivid memories from childhood are of the anticipation of being spanked, the combination of dread and rejection... That's not what I want my kids to look back and remember.</p> <p>I do think it can be an effective method in the SR to elicit obedience, but to me that does not outweigh the potential longer-run costs. There are huge cultural differences, though. I remember in college talking to a friend who also came from a conservative part of the U.S. about punishments as a kid - spanking, getting your mouth washed out with soap for talking back, etc. Our friend from a more liberal part of the U.S. was convinced we were abused, and we were like - "nope everyone does it". Then our friend from China started telling us how she was discipline as a kid, and WHOA. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575665 Mon, 27 Jun 2016 00:42:51 +0000 erinpye 2575665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: exactly. It's a game of semantics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575659 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 23:47:18 +0000 sarac 2575659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just love the moral gymnastics people go through to distinguish 'spanking' from 'hitting'. No. You are choosing to cause your child physical pain. Would you choose to do that to your husband? How about your dog? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575609 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 21:01:13 +0000 catomd00 2575609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: totally agree re: the whole in the moment thing. Discipline is supposed to be done close to the action, so how are you supposed to calm down and administer the discipline within a short period of time?! I can actually understand how an occasional spanking in the heat of the moment might happen than spanking that is planned out in advance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575523 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:03:58 +0000 turquoisemama 2575523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yes! I mean sometimes you gotta change the diaper in public, but I always hide as much as possible. You never know who is watching. Or when people post embarrassing stuff about poop and potty training on Facebook-I hate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575522 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 17:53:33 +0000 Bibliolove 2575522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: maybe that's why I am anti-spanking. I remember it clearly from childhood as well, and my brother getting the belt. I don't like it and won't do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575521 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 17:45:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 2575521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think there is a big difference between making a joke about a stinky baby diaper or changing an infant in public and hitting a kid on the butt. You could maybe make that argument for shaming a toddler about a dirty diaper. However I do agree with you that I can't believe t is usually done in a very calm manner like they say. </p> <p>We don't. I sure as hell have wanted to but I know it wouldn't be good for us. Dh would do it in an extreme case (pushing her sister into the street type). But not as a regular punishment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575507 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:45:19 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2575507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@turquoisemama: kind of related in terms of degrading things we say/ do to children...teasing babies for stinky poops and diaper changes in public or allowing an audience.</p> <p>I don't think we have a concensus on what spanking is. I recall only a few punishments growing up that were not in the moment. The proponents of spanking say it's controlled and they are no longer upset when doing it. I haven't experienced that or witnessed that, but I would say the same thing for just about any discipline. Parents yell in the moment, place kids in timeout in the moment, takeaway privileges in the moment, redirect in the moment etc. I just don't believe that a swat on the hand or butt is the one exception. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spanking/page/2#post-2575491 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 15:52:47 +0000 BananaPancakes 2575491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know lots of people who do. I was spanked like 3 times growing up and slapped by my mother a couple of times as a teenager. Pretty sure I deserved them all. It was a last resort act from my mother (who is seriously a saint) when she had reached the end of her rope. My husband was spanked for everything. I'm definetly more in the "no to spanking" group, and my husband was all about it until he actually had a child. Now he still feels it's an option, but in extreme situations, like dangerous situations or blatant disrespect. DS is 4 and it hasn't happened yet, but it's still on the table if need be </p>