https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 11 Jun 2026 02:14:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-357222 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:01:25 +0000 StrawberryBee 357222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dswx3me: awesome, thank you so much for your experience/perspective on this! Still waiting to tell them as we're still TTC (sigh). I'll let you know how it goes if we get to that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-355728 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 10:41:28 +0000 dswx3me 355728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if this is till relevant and you've already told them or not...but I have an 11 year old step son who lives with us full time, he visits his mother for a month out of the summer. anyways, just recently 4 months ago, I had a baby of my own. </p> <p>I was like you, it was my first marriage and my first baby....</p> <p>my husband told his son that I was going to have a baby after I was about 9 weeks pregnant or more....but we talked about the possibility of it months before....if I remember right, he used the...</p> <p>"son, girls dream about having babies of their whole lives, and now that grace and I have gotten married it wouldn't be fair to her not to let her have a baby of her own. that would be very selfish of us...." approach...</p> <p>he didn't really apologize for our decsion to have a baby of our own...or try to assure him that he wouldn't be "replaced" or anything like that....we just treated him and loved him like normal, and that I think assured him more than talking about it...</p> <p>actions speak louder than words. basically. </p> <p>he is a great big brother...even though there are over 10 years difference between the two of them...and he adores his little brother....</p> <p>I think making a point to just act like its normal...is important. kids want to feel part of a real family....and babies help with that...the baby has actually brought us all closer than before. </p> <p>hope this helps a little bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-165501 Tue, 22 May 2012 16:09:53 +0000 daniellemybelle 165501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that you should wait. Also, keep in mind that even though they have been excited up until now, you might deal with some negative or confused emotions. I wanted my mom &amp; stepdad to have a baby together, but when they told my brother &amp; I that our new little sibling was on the way, I flipped out! I can't tell you why other than that I had already had a lot of change in my life and I didn't want anymore. If that happens though, I promise they will come around!</p> <p>Maybe you could start testing the waters though - like while making up the bed together in the guest room you could say, "What do you think about painting this room light green? That way if your Dad and I have a baby someday, it will make a great nursery for a boy or a girl!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163888 Sun, 20 May 2012 13:43:14 +0000 heffalump 163888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not even planning on telling my LO that we're TTC (of course she's too young to know anyway, but I wouldn't tell her if she's older) and I don't know how early we'll tell her that I'm pregnant. I had a miscarriage before her, and I don't want to deal with having to tell her if I have another miscarriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163217 Fri, 18 May 2012 21:21:50 +0000 StrawberryBee 163217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! That's the way I was leaning as well, just needed some verification. I realize that the path may not be easy, which is why I want to leave us as much time as possible to deal with potential difficulties. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163181 Fri, 18 May 2012 20:11:13 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 163181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree also, wait until you're pregnant. Hopefully everything will be easy, but if it's not, you don't want to have to explain everything to pre-teens. They'll be excited when it happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163169 Fri, 18 May 2012 19:20:56 +0000 PawPrints 163169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP, wait until you're pregnant, and even then, wait until the first trimester is through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163156 Fri, 18 May 2012 18:33:58 +0000 Mrs. Stroller 163156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wait until after you're pregnant and your first trimester has passed. You do not know how long it will take you to become pregnant and kids don't understand how difficult it can be. I've been through four miscarriages and would not want a child to grieve for a lost baby and then experience anxiety if you become pregnant again. You are probably very excited, but if I were in your shoes I would let the kids be kids and just share the joyous news with them once the risk drops a bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163153 Fri, 18 May 2012 18:30:01 +0000 MamaMoose 163153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wait. You never know how long it will take you to get pregnant and if you guys have a hard time it maybe confusing for them that you said a baby was coming and then it doesn't, and it will be hard for you to get continuous questions from them. Even if you wait until the end of the first trimester to tell them that still gives them six months to adjust to the idea of a new sibling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-step-children-know-that-were-going-to-ttc#post-163151 Fri, 18 May 2012 18:21:29 +0000 StrawberryBee 163151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does anybody have any experience telling their step-kids (or children who don't live with you full time) about wanting to try for another little one?</p> <p>Some background:<br /> My husband has two children from a prior marriage, 13 (girl) and 10 (boy - almost 11). We have them every other weekend and they're truly great kids; the 13 year old is hitting those crazy teenage years with a vengeance, but I can still see the sweet girl underneath it all :). I've never been pregnant and this is my first marriage.</p> <p>My step daughter used to ask me if Daddy and I were going to have a baby (this is a few years ago now, before we were engaged I think) and I would smile and ask her if she wanted us to, and she would respond with "yes, right now!" lol. She didn't understand the dynamics behind it then, though she will now. I hope she still feels the same way, though I understand that there's other forces at play and she or her brother may feel replaced if we're lucky enough to conceive -- I'll try my very best to make sure that they don't ever feel that way. It's going to be a balancing act for sure.</p> <p>They each have a bedroom at our house (I purchased it prior to our relationship), and I've worked hard to make sure that neither will be displaced -- we have a room near the master that's functioning as a guest room right now, but can be changed into a nursery. My husband and I hope to start TTC in late summer/early fall; I'll be turning 33 then.</p> <p>So, as August approaches do we start thinking about sitting them down and letting them know what we plan? Or is that too early, and should we wait until we're (hopefully!) actually pregnant and far enough along that it's safe to start spilling the beans? Am I thinking about this too much? lol Beyond saying "we'll be lucky if the baby is as awesome as you two are" I don't have too much in the way of ideas. I know that I'll be sweating bullets through that whole conversation.</p> <p>Thanks! </p>