https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 10:05:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301996 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 10:05:51 +0000 simplyfelicity 2301996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's super common but things can change so fast!! The end of pregnancy plain sucks and feels like it will never end...but it will! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301976 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 09:51:17 +0000 wonderstruck 2301976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: ahh okay, good to know! Sorry, OP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301975 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 09:51:07 +0000 Bubbles 2301975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think anything works until the baby is ready! I did ALL the things and nothing worked, I wasn't even the tiniest bit dilated when I was induced at 40+2 for PROM. </p> <p>Hang in there, it won't be long now whatever happens! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301970 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 09:48:17 +0000 kiddosc 2301970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: If she's not dilated at all, then they can't get a finger in there to sweep membranes. </p> <p>Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot you can do. I wasn't dilated at all at 38 weeks either. At 40 weeks I was dilated just a fingertip, but I went into labor naturally at 40 +2. You'll get there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301904 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 08:53:22 +0000 wonderstruck 2301904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most people I know who have had luck getting labor started with walking/sex/spicy food/whatever were already at least a bit dilated. I didn't dilate at all until labor started at exactly 40 weeks, and none of the tricks out there made any difference. You could ask about a membrane sweep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301786 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 07:07:35 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2301786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds pretty normal. I would just keep walking and waiting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301761 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 06:29:27 +0000 YouGotMe 2301761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no suggestions but I was in the same boat. Doctor tried to do a membrane sweep but Couldn't since nothing was happening. My water broke at exactly 39 weeks. </p> <p>You are very close to being done :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301757 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 06:21:40 +0000 buttermilk 2301757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the end sex is what put me into labor, but we had done it SO much in the final weeks with no reaction from my body. Its now clear to me the only reason it finally worked was because my body/baby was ready for labor. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301756 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 06:21:02 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2301756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Karmawins: I'm 38w with #2, and pretty much in the same boat although getting a little more sleep probably from sheer exhaustion because I'm waking up crampy from the pregnancy and GI problems several times a night.. I think with #1 I wasn't dilated yet either but still had her on her due date. Hang in there! Eta, no advice about the sex thing but luckily pregnancy does not last forever, even though I understand feeling like it does right now!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301744 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 05:49:35 +0000 Charm54 2301744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The end is in sight!! Good luck. With DD I was 1cm at 38weeks and went into labor at 39. Here I am with LO2 at 39+3 and no baby...I'm actually less dilated than I was the last time. You just never know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301739 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 05:35:10 +0000 avivoca 2301739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's not all that uncommon at 38 weeks, unfortunately. My suggestion is to rest as much as you can, walk, and bounce on a labor ball. Good luck! I know how hard those last week's can be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301732 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 05:01:37 +0000 ldh112 2301732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately that's not really uncommon at 38 weeks. Things can change so quickly, though. I was over it by that point myself, so I get it! Rest as much as you can, while you can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301725 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 04:25:30 +0000 Kemma 2301725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best advice would be to walk, walk, walk! Unfortunately whilst there's a tonne of old wives tales about bringing on labour there's really not much you can do to make it start if baby just isn't ready but at least walking will get her into a good position. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/38-weeks-and-not-dilated#post-2301722 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 03:57:16 +0000 Karmawins 2301722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I'm 38 weeks and doctor says I'm not dilated, 0% effaciated and haven't lost my mucus plug though she has been dropped for two weeks and has been right on top of the cervix. I've been dealing with menstral like cramps, back pains, and exhaustion. I'm lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep a night and naps are out of the question including Tylenol pm or other aids due to possible complications. I'm a FTM and my daughter is already 8lbs!! For medical reasons she isnt allowed to go past 40 weeks to avoid complications and Csection. I feel like I'm going mad from lack of sleep, aches/pains, &amp; exhaustion. I've taken baths, drinking warm milk, squats, stretching to no avail. Sex is out of the question. Husband hasn't be attracted to or been able to be turned on since I was 2 months. It's a Latin male thing apparently. Any suggestions on how to expediate the labor??? I'm completely miserable!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2284709 Sun, 06 Sep 2015 23:09:56 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2284709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: I think the best thing is you have support. I didn't REALLY realize how hard these things were til I had my daughter, and had to do a lot of things on my own because my family lives far away, dh has a small family and most of them weren't there, and we hadn't lived here long so I didn't really have circle to lean on. I did have PPD/PPA which compounded everything. Even after all of that I'm about a month from having baby #2. Even if it gets hard, it gets better, and then awesome. I realized that I am just not so much a "baby person" (which I kind of already knew) but I loooooove the toddler stage, and am really enjoying dd at just about 3. And just because some of these things happen doesn't mean that all the negative parts will happen to you. Some might, some might not, some will be harder than others for you. And you do get to sleep again. Heck, some babies aren't up every 2 hours even in the beginning. You're smart for being aware of all this now, but also know that there are moments that I don't even think I can put into words. It's awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2284686 Sun, 06 Sep 2015 21:42:50 +0000 Owlmama 2284686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi,</p> <p>The opposite of you, I feel like I was underprepared because no one really gave me negativity and I didn't read about it(just blocked it all out lalala) and everyone was actually really positive, so I felt like something was wrong with me when things were hard. I think you are smart to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I think I was naive in retrospect and that was a disservice to my sanity when things went downhill. It's okay for it to be hard and you will have a unique experience that no one else can exactly talk you though anyway. So, I think you have a good handle on it and it won't be as bad as you are anxiously accounting for since you are ready for everything that could go wrong and most of it probably won't. I remember feeling like everyone else knew something I didn't and that's not true, it's just that everyone has their own struggles and joys. We're all different and we have our own paths to walk. We should support each other instead of threateningly saying, "You'll see" because everyone is different and will react to the same scenario in different ways. Be kind to yourself! The hardest thing is accepting that some things are out of my control, as a mom and as a human being, but we have to try to surrender and find peace somehow. It does help to talk to people, but most of all, listen to yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2284672 Sun, 06 Sep 2015 20:57:26 +0000 youboots 2284672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: I did not read all the answers but I will give you some feedback. Overall it's been awesome. Sure I had GD and had an emergency induction for pre e that lasted 43 hours- that sucked. T had problems breastfeeding and ended up dehydrated at 5 days and in the PICU- that was difficult- it took 8 weeks and weekly appointments with a LC, but she's 6 months and our nursing relationship is going strong. Seeing M be a Dad and so silly and fun with our girl is the best. She laughs and grabs my face. So sweet. Sure some nights I'm up 2x with her, but sometimes she sleeps 11 hours. Our 9 year marriage is better than ever and now that we have a daughter I really feel like a family. Some days are a challenge, but most days are perfect and fun and amazing. Honestly I've never been happier. Chin up, you will find your groove. </p> <p>Don't be scared to seek therapy if you are having a hard time, I regularly have seen one for the last year and it's really been good for me.</p> <p>ETA I think you are hearing worst care scenarios about several important areas birth, work/life balance, breastfeeding, sleep etc. Realistically you will have problems in some of these areas- not ALL of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2284641 Sun, 06 Sep 2015 20:06:16 +0000 Kelli_Deluxe 2284641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this post so much. I recently had these exact thoughts, and I still am in the early stages. I went from total confidence and excitement about pregnancy (and twins) to "holy hell what if I can't do this, etc etc." I'm trying to read less.... Much less. The majority of moms reiterate that it's hard but you figure out what works best for you. I'm still more scared of preparation and delivery complications than actually having no sleep/being a feeding machine/crying all the time (me and babies). I just want to give you a big hug and thank you for your honesty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2283042 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 12:01:10 +0000 mdf106 2283042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt that way, and it has been so much easier than expected. I think part of the problem is over-researching, and especially reading about individual experiences online, because people are much more likely to post when things go badly than when they go well.</p> <p>Job and money related stress has been much more stressful than having a child, although having a child does compound money worries.<br /> I had a straightforward delivery with an epidural. I can't say it was extremely fun, but it was not the worst pain of my life by any stretch. </p> <p>My recovery was extremely easy. 24 hours after birth I felt much better than I had during most of my pregnancy. I realize this is not typical, but it can happen. I was also very happy, and had absolutely no PPD. I think I was probably mildly depressed during my first pregnancy. I spent a lot of time thinking I had made a big mistake. My son, and are family of three, is the best thing that has happened to me. I am really excited to do it all again in January. </p> <p>Breastfeeding was painful and time consuming, but did not present any real problems.</p> <p>My son has slept at least a four hour stretch every night after I stopped waking him, which was at five days old, and he started doing some 8 hour nights at 7 weeks. By 4 months he consistently STTN. I think some of it was adrenaline, and some the not working, but I felt much better rested with a newborn than while pregnant. I also slept very soundly when I did sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282761 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 09:20:12 +0000 snowjewelz 2282761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It will be okay! Big hugs to you :heart: </p> <p>I think it's totally normal to be terrified b/c life does completely change! And I think often times we talk about the hardships so that we feet are set firmly on reality and that we can mentally prepare/brace ourselves.</p> <p>DD is 9 months, and honestly, while the tough is tough, and your life is completely different, it is so true when people say the cliche "it's worth it". DD doesn't STTN. Am I tired? Heck yes. Do I miss me time? Heck yes. Can our marriage be better? Heck yes. </p> <p>But I think you have to keep in mind the big picture; the toughest times is really not that long when you zoom out. And seeing your baby, holding your baby, knowing that they depend on you, watching them grow.. It really is worth every tear/every sleepless night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282532 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 07:12:09 +0000 ElbieKay 2282532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, for me parenting an infant was really hard. There is a ton of drudgery involved. I was pretty happy to go back to work because I found it tedious in addition to exhausting. The effort-to-reward ratio was way too high, and I really wondered if we had made a mistake.</p> <p>Things started to get better at around 7.5 months when my son started to crawl. That was the minimum level of interaction that I needed to feel like he was kind of fun to hang out with. It was still hard, but I could sort of see why people like parenting. But there was still way too much tedium.</p> <p>My son is now 18mo and walks and talks learns new things every day and can tell us what he wants. And he has a sense of humor. I still find the chores boring and am happy that I can go to my office and let other people do the bulk of the grunt work like feeding and changing him. But now I think he's adorable and hilarious and fun to play with. I definitely think it was the right decision to have a baby now that he is a toddler!</p> <p>The other thing that has been tough is that I just never felt like I could find time to clear my head. Babies are so demanding, and so is nursing, and I also have a demanding job. It felt impossible to find any time for myself, or even time to sit and think and organize my life in any way. I did things like forget to pay the credit card bills because I simply forgot, which is really unusual for me. I walked around with this vague feeling of desperation because I could not see any path out of this perpetual holding pattern of barely getting through each day.</p> <p>A major side effect of this problem was that I really struggled to find time for exercise despite the fact that my body was really out of whack from pregnancy and labor/delivery. I have all these muscle imbalances and weaknesses that are causing me hip, back and knee pain. I have some weight gain too, but that is mostly cosmetic and secondary to the fact that my quality of life was suffering.</p> <p>I finally weaned my son two months ago, and then last month I joined a gym. So after almost 18 months, I have now made time and space to tackle the issues outlined in the last couple of paragraphs. I was so excited to get this working. I finally feel like I can see how I will get my life back on track and feel less out of control. I feel so relieved because for a long time I did not know if that would ever happen.</p> <p>I will probably still have a second child despite my concerns about repeating that overwhelmed feeling. But now I have learned that, while it may take awhile, I know that eventually I will fall in love with my child and carve out pockets of time for myself. I did not have that confidence or perspective the first time around, and that made it a really difficult experience. It is much easier to get through a challenge if you know that it is temporary.</p> <p>I don't know if this is helpful, and it may not be what you were hoping to hear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282478 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 04:56:24 +0000 mediagirl 2282478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: Sounds like you're pretty well researched. your fears are totally valid. </p> <p> Have you read up much on how wonderful parenting is? There are so many times that make everything worth it. </p> <p>-when your baby snuggles against your while they are feeding (breast or bottle)<br /> -when your baby falls asleep on your chest and your hand is 3" away from your phone but you'd rather sit there bored out of your mind than move that sweet smelling baby.<br /> -when your baby says mommy or mama or mummy for the first time.<br /> -what you hold this infant and realize you made him/her.<br /> -when your child hurts him/herself and the only person who can comfort them is you.<br /> -when they smile and laugh at and with you.<br /> -when they start doing things that make you stand back and say, wow. I'm so proud of you. </p> <p>Motherhood is wonderful. Sure, there's a lot of stuff to get through but it is so worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282445 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 01:02:41 +0000 regberadaisy 2282445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: agree. I've been laid off twice. Once when my baby was 4m and we just bought a new house and once when I was pregnant with #2. So, uh, no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282443 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 00:59:53 +0000 regberadaisy 2282443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: "I'm over here preparing for battle". 😂 good analogy.<br /> So, here's the thing. People like to complain. It's in our nature. We complain that our child is a terror, our baby woke up 6-7x last night, our baby won't eat solids, our toddler screams all the time and won't listen, etc. but very rarely do you hear parents talk anoint the good stuff. I think it's almost like we're afraid to or we don't want to "gloat".</p> <p>Parenting IS hard. My first born was super high needs, colicky, cried constantly for the first 4m and didn't STTN till over one. I was waking up every 1-2 hours for a good 8 months. But in between all that there was so much joy that comes only from parenthood. Whe your baby gives you that gummy grin there is just nothing else in the world that compares. That unconditional love and dependence on you for everything is just about an elixir of life.<br /> It is hard on your marriage. God bless those with easy kids. But if you're like most of us that don't have it, then that first year will be one of the hardest of your marriage. But in so many ways it will make your marriage stronger. You will love your husband in many more ways that you never thought possible.</p> <p>It's a crazy ride, but it's the best there is! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282404 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 22:41:40 +0000 daniellemybelle 2282404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this TED talk about parenting. They explain that parenting is an experience with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I'd rather have the roller coaster than a boring life without my amazing kid.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos?language=en" rel="nofollow">https://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos?language=en</a></p> <p>Just an hour ago I told my husband: "Her love is like crack. I just feel invincible when she says, I love you mommy." The newborn stage was very hard but it was so worth it to get to be a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282396 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 22:18:47 +0000 sarac 2282396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: Yeah, I read that, and honestly - it offended me. Worse than unemployment, and worrying if you're going to lose your home? Worse than divorce, and losing your spouse? No, not for a second. My father died three years ago, and that emotional strain was an entirely different universe than parenting. </p> <p>Some people will certainly feel this way. Some babies have colic, some women have bad PPD, or painful recoveries. Some babies sleep terribly for months. But to suggest that this is the average? No. Not at all. Every baby and every transition to motherhood is difficult, but not every one is devastating. Not even most. Everything in my life is better after becoming a parent. No, it didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282361 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:43:25 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2282361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Life changes in so many ways but I don't consider any changes since the birth of our first LO 3 months ago to be negative! DH and my relationship is stronger than ever! It is amazing working together to take care of this tiny child.</p> <p>And I also think there is a lot of fear that people try to instill in new parents that just unfounded for many people. Nothing about my birth went according to plan but I'm none the worse for it. I ended up with a c-section after a failed induction and felt fine with 24-36 hours and was playing tennis a month later.</p> <p>DD slept in 3+ hour stretches from day 1 (and that has increased steadily since to where at 3 months, 7-8 hours at night isn't uncommon). And if breast feeding doesn't work for you for whatever reason, you can formula feed! After trying to both breast feed and exclusively pump, DD is now formula fed and thriving!</p> <p>So basically, don't let all the horror stories make you anxious and stressed! Life with a new baby can be wonderful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282356 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:39:45 +0000 MrsGeePerez 2282356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: that article that came out recently, the one that stated that "parenthood is worse than divorce, unemployment, even death..." was really disturbing to see posted all over social media as a pregnant first-timer! I tried to shrug it off but that stuff sticks in your mind if you are getting ready to go through it yourself. </p> <p>@Rocker2014: It's definitely reading/hearing about all the negative experiences and trying to prepare myself by accepting that they will probably happen to me. My poor husband has heard every one of them from me, too, but he does a pretty good job of letting them slide off. </p> <p>I'm over here preparing for battle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282345 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:24:13 +0000 Rocker2014 2282345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: this, 100% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/apprehension-about-upcoming-birth-and-becoming-a-parent#post-2282329 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:13:19 +0000 MrsGeePerez 2282329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much for your thoughtful responses! What a nice welcome to the boards! </p> <p>I really appreciate all of your kind and straightforward advice, and I'll try to remember it for when things get tough/scary/desperate. It's relieving to know that many of your marriages have strengthened even more and that seeing your husbands as fathers adds a whole new dimension to the love you have. </p> <p>I also have family support and know my parents will be around to help as much as they can. My in-laws are wonderful, but they live halfway around the world so they won't be here physically. </p> <p>A few years ago, I went though a really sad experience with the "loss" of a sibling to a tragic accident (he is still alive; but he can't speak, eat, move, and is 100% dependent on caregivers). It was an extremely difficult time in my life and a huge upset to everything I thought I knew about life and about myself. I was in the hospital almost every single day for over a year, and as much as it sounds like an entirely negative experience, I came out on the other side so incredibly grateful for what I had learned. The painful transition I went through to accept what happened and to embrace a new way of life made me a much stronger person and I have all these positives to show for a period that seemed, at the time, overwhelmingly dark and negative. </p> <p>Many of your posts reminded me that the hardest changes are the most meaningful. I'm hoping that if it does end up being too much to handle at times, I can draw on my past experiences and remind myself that nothing is permanent. </p> <p>Thanks again and I am looking forward to posting here! </p>