https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 13:54:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2058232 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 20:48:56 +0000 lulu22 2058232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a neighbor who has started giving me EVERYthing of her sons that she wants to get rid of. It's a tricky situation, because while I know she is just being generous, she never actually asks if I want any of it, she just knocks on my door then dumps it all in my house, and won't let me get a word in if I start to try and politely refuse. To make matters worse, her son is almost 3 (my baby is not yet born!) so most of the stuff will have to be stored for a couple of years and we really don't have any storage space in our apartment. At the moment my plan is to donate a lot of it because we just don't have room to keep it, and a lot of it is stuff I know I probably won't use... but I do feel guilty about doing this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2058169 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 19:41:52 +0000 snowjewelz 2058169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll either say I have it already (sometimes true, sometimes not lol). Or I'll just take all and donate what I don't want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2058071 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 18:12:47 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2058071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: That's a good line to use (and true for us, since so much of the stuff is furniture.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2057364 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 11:29:21 +0000 pui 2057364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to say "No thanks, we have enough stuff" or "Thanks, but we've already chosen a different brand". If they insist, I take it and donate it later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2057360 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 11:26:29 +0000 jedeve 2057360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my MiL that I was worried about hinges and stuff having worn down over time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2056996 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 07:41:03 +0000 blackbird 2056996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom has gifted us a lot of old stuff, used things from thrift stores, and generally things I'm not comfortable using. Once it's in my possession, I either keep it (some of it's sentimental, like the knitted sweaters MY grandma made me) or E plays with it a little bit and then it ends up in a bag to be donated or thrown away. It either "broke" or "she didn't like it" or "we didn't have room for it" or "we had something similar already". I'm not going to hoard shit in my house and I'm unapologetic about THAT for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2056967 Fri, 06 Feb 2015 07:13:49 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2056967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Hahaha- I love the worried new mom angle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2054575 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 18:18:13 +0000 CATWOMAN 2054575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the WORST at this. I always say yes. &amp; then end up with stuff I never wanted or needed - and then have to find someone else to give it to!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2054119 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 13:59:56 +0000 Mama Bird 2054119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tried pointing out to my MIL once that I thought something she bought for DS is not safe... it did not go over well. In hindsight, it's better to go the route of "we already have this/someone already promised us theirs," and maybe offer to help your grandma clear out the attic and donate something, if you have time and are feeling up to it. </p> <p>And you never know, you may turn up some old favorites you'll actually want to pass to your child :) I'd love it if my parents have kept some of my old toys for DS... too bad we moved so much it wasn't possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2054110 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 13:55:41 +0000 looch 2054110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If someone brings it to my house, it's fair game for me to decide what to do with.</p> <p>I would probably not volunteer to go over and clean out the attic, I find that's a tough situation for me to say "no" in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2054105 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 13:53:59 +0000 sapphire 2054105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on the person, I'd likely just take it, sort through it, and donate what I didn't need. Some people would be responsive to me saying " I don't need anything" but others might be offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2054025 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 13:21:13 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2054025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's tough situation because you want to be polite. I would probably agree to look through her things and perhaps even take a list of items you are specifically looking for. Before you start set the ground rules that just because it's here doesn't mean it's coming home with you. Then, let her know that God will or another charity will stop by later that day (next week) to pick up the rest. </p> <p>It sounds like she wants to clean out her space more so than help you set up your space. You can help her clean out her space and then with the charity she can help set up someone else's baby space. Plus she gets a tax write off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053954 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 12:53:31 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 2053954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is hard. I usually just take it and donate what I don't want to use. We have a drive thru goodwill near us that is pretty convenient. My MIL wants us to use the bassinet that she used for my husband and his sister for the new baby, but we declined. Well, actually, we told her we'd let her know and just haven't brought it up. We just don't have room for it and we are planning to cosleep at first, using a rock n play when needed.</p> <p>ETA: Before I had Liam, we got so many hand me downs, especially clothes. It kind of annoyed me because I didn't want to go through everything and deal with taking the rejects to the donation center, but now I am SO glad I have them. He has so many great things that he wears all the time that were hand me downs, even now at almost 3 years old. We got even more hand me down clothes for Grace and I am so grateful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053945 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 12:50:22 +0000 tiramisu 2053945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: I had this issue too! I tried to be nice and say "oh thanks, I'll let you know if we need it" or "oh someone else is letting us use theirs already." I didn't want to seem ungrateful but being it was my first baby I was excited to buy new things and was also worried about safety standards. But my MIL drops off at our house tons of handmedowns from her friends grandkids, etc. without even asking me if I want it. Its really testing my patience. Just a heads up, after baby comes, people might have alot of opinions too of how to care for your baby. My MIL wanted me to feed LO rice cereal at 1 mo. old when our pediatrician said not to. She said oh we did that with DH and he's fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053754 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 11:20:49 +0000 bunnylove08 2053754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: what about: this is our first baby and we would love to have some new things purchased. We would love to come over and look at what you have and try to incorporate heirloom items. </p> <p>Since she is looking to get rid of stuff maybe you can just say no and she might not be offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053740 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 11:10:13 +0000 BSB 2053740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn't have pointed that they weren't up to our current safety standards. (Though, I don't know your relationship with your grandma.) I think I would have told her that I'll look through it and see what I could use. Later on I could tell her that we bought or were gifted something that would match our nursery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053723 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 11:00:23 +0000 Corduroy 2053723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would claim FTM worries. "I wish I had your years of perspective so I could use this gear. It probably is safe but after all the scary things I've read it would keep me up at night. Silly me." Or take it to get it out of her place and then say you couldn't stop worrying so you found another home for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053722 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 11:00:12 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: not really. She started trying to push her old stuff on us as soon as we announced the pregnancy. We haven't yet published our registry and are months away from the shower, so she knows we haven't received anything yet, and will see those items on our registry. It's mostly big items, like furniture, although she's already given me a worn out old blanket with holes in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053719 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 10:58:56 +0000 Espion 2053719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I said, "No thanks." Surprisingly, it got no argument. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053707 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 10:50:44 +0000 bunnylove08 2053707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you say, thank you but we received a lot of gifts (name random items you know are in storage) and do not have room for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053480 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:49:22 +0000 mediagirl 2053480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: your mom can wash them? My mom got a ton of used baby toys from neighbors and friends and just washed them before we came over.. And if your mom understands your feelings on used things, you can just tell her what you do or don't want your kid to play with? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053468 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:43:02 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Haha, great argument, right? Clearly, the older and more used a crib, high chair, or changing table is, the safer it must be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053451 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:36:28 +0000 Banana330 2053451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: for gear I said we've already got one of those from someone else, or we're trying to keep big items to a minimum and waiting to see what the baby likes/needs, i'll get back to you. </p> <p>Other things I just took, we'll try and pass it on to someone else if it's not for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053448 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:35:45 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: We don't really have room for it, and even though she just wants to clear out space, I think she'd be offended if we took it and didn't use it.</p> <p>For now I've suggested that she give it to my mom, so it can be baby's "grandma's house" gear. Of course, now I'll have to worry about how safe / hygienic it is if my mom ends up taking it and expecting us to use it when we visit... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053426 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:26:08 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2053426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For gear I said "we are super excited to buy our own!" And people usually said "I don't blame you - I was too!" For clothes I take and then donate what we won't use. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053421 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:21:56 +0000 Mamaof2 2053421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably just take it and then get rid of it - </p> <p>Tell her "Thanks, I will use what I can and donate the rest"</p> <p>(But don't donate it if its old just trash it) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053420 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:21:55 +0000 mrbee 2053420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: Are you guys in a place where you could pick out some of the keepsakes to store, then throw away the rest?</p> <p>I'd probably take her stuff, just to help clean out her attic! This way, she can share memories and details about items... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053419 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:21:50 +0000 Foodnerd81 2053419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha- you kids are all fine! I love (hate) that argument. </p> <p>Can you go through and take what you want then help her bring the rest to donation places or a dump? </p> <p>I think dh's grandmother was slightly put off when I said I didn't want to use the crib she has from when dh's dad was a baby, since her younger grandchildren used it like ten years ago and were fine, but I said I wanted to use our pnp bc c was used to it and it would be easier for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-politely-reject-hand-me-downs#post-2053415 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:17:22 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you have a bunch of friends and family try to get rid of their old baby gear by giving it to you? How did you politely reject their offers?</p> <p>My grandma recently tried to get me to take her attic full of old baby gear. From some people, I might think this was meant as a helpful gesture so we wouldn't have to buy so much ourselves, but she even said that she just wanted to get rid of it because it takes up so much room. Some of the stuff was MY baby gear, that I used almost 30 years ago (and then all my cousins used it after me), and it certainly doesn't meet current safety standards. I pointed that out to her, and she said "Oh please- you kids are all perfectly fine now, so it's obviously not that dangerous!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/online-consignment-stores#post-1509277 Thu, 20 Mar 2014 15:59:35 +0000 shopaholic 1509277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are a ton of IG shops for kids I follow. I can't say for sure which ones I love - it gets crazy in my feed. But once you follow a couple they all come find/request you! </p>