https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 06:59:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2768136 Wed, 16 Aug 2017 13:51:15 +0000 smocks 2768136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: That's great on the interview! Best of luck!</p> <p>Besides all the great advice above, I'll just address the job part. Do you know if she applied for that promotion? Or was it just given to her? </p> <p>My anecdote is that last summer, I was poking around on our internal directory and saw the people that I had started with (8 years prior, in my former department) had AVP titles. I had switched around a few jobs and locations, but I was a manager and it hurt to see them with titles when I had none. So I asked my manager how to earn that title. Turns out, they hadn't even realized it and the next month I got my title! Sometimes you just have to ask, or apply to move ahead. You're responsible for your own career; if something isn't where you think it ought to be, take steps to get to where you want!</p> <p>Hugs mama, it's HARD being a working mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2768094 Wed, 16 Aug 2017 10:33:56 +0000 808love 2768094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: Great to hear!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2768090 Wed, 16 Aug 2017 10:27:50 +0000 codeitall 2768090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks ladies, I don't have any working mom friends so it is really reassuring to hear I'm not the only one with these issues :heart: </p> <p>On the plus side, had a great interview for an amazing job yesterday, so things are slowly looking up :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2768017 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 21:57:25 +0000 catomd00 2768017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely let myself cry! Then,<br /> I remind myself that this is but one quickly passing phase and that my time will come when I'm ready for it. I put my all into my current role, know that right now I'm not in a place to be able to or really want to progress much, but know that I can still learn and grow and gain valuable experience in my current position that will mean I am beyond prepared to jump when the time is right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767914 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 11:38:27 +0000 Mamatimes3 2767914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard to feel this way. But as others have said, this time of life is temporary. Your day will come. </p> <p>I always try to remind myself that no one's life is perfect. Everyone has their own trials and hardships even if we can't see them. </p> <p>When I'm feeling down, loving and hugging on my kids makes me feel better. Their love is worth more than anything to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767844 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 08:21:33 +0000 catlady 2767844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On the other side of it...my mom was super career driven and spent so much time on her career when my brother and I were young. She loved it, and honestly I think she was still a great mom and very present in our lives, but I know that she felt that she missed out on some of our childhood. She died early (in her 50s) and on her deathbed she admitted that she wished she had spent more time with family and less on her career. </p> <p>Not to say that you shouldn't get a promotion if you deserve it, or spend time on your career. But I've also taken 2 maternity leaves and probably halted my own career because of that (I've stayed in a job that has no path for advancement because it has just been easier). So I just remind myself of what my mom said when I start to wonder if I made the right choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767820 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 07:25:07 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2767820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, it is really hard. I agree with thinking about it being a season for everything. Right now this is my season for motherhood. I love being a WOHM but I still want to cherish these baby stages (while on maternity leave and otherwise). Job hopping right now isn't an option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767808 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 06:33:56 +0000 azjax 2767808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took me about 6 months longer to finish my PhD because I had my first during grad school. I'll also start in a post-doc position 2-6 months later than otherwise so I can take (unpaid!!!!) time off for my second. It's worth it though, because I work to live, I don't live to work. When I feel down about my timeline or sexism in the workplace or my fat thighs, I watch videos of DS at his cutest and everything is better. Plus, I feel motivated to get out there and do my best for myself and my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767786 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 00:15:44 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2767786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I feel like this, I try to think of all the positives that came out of it, my 2 happy and healthy children, wonderful husband, and we are all tirec but happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767782 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 23:33:17 +0000 Corduroy 2767782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, it's hard to watch other people advance. </p> <p>I try to force myself to not compare my success against others' in my office or line of work. I step back and remind myself that I could be a dishwasher, a field worker or a line worker. (I occasionally find myself doing tasks like that for an hour or two making my salary and it makes me so grateful). I also take it the other direction, I could be a CEO or independently wealthy. Looking at it from both extremes makes me less envious of someone so close to my circumstances. </p> <p>You have a career in a growing field and a mothers' room. It sounds like you're in a good spot with prospects for a great future. Keep in touch with Miss Software Engineer. She probably recognizes you as an underutilized resource. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767770 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 22:45:11 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2767770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you're down. I look at it this way: I made the choice to have kids because in the end, I knew I wanted kids more than career and I got what I wanted even if it comes at a cost (and sometimes unanticipated costs too!) So in reality I have what I really wanted even if seeing other people in their success stings sometimes. And I know that if the shoe were on the other foot I would be longing to have a family like the one I have. I would be the girl sad at the weddings/baby showers/whatever if I didn't have my dh &amp; kids. I just have to see the bigger picture of life and it helps not be jealous of one individual part. </p> <p>I also have become admittedly a bit self centered and just have gotten better and letting things go in one ear and out the other if they don't affect me. :silly: </p> <p>Lastly I just try to remember that there will be more me time as my babies grow up. I see other older people in my life in that stage and judging by how fast the kids are already growing.. I know it won't really be long (even if some days drag on!) It's not forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767765 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 21:06:46 +0000 snowjewelz 2767765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exactly wish a few posters have mentioned about grass being greener on the other side. My single friend who is well off, lives in an amazing apartment in the city, travels whenever, owns multiple Chanel's.... She is my best friend and while I don't think she envies "struggling" like I do, she absolutely will trade a lot of that to have a loving husband and children. </p> <p>I understand what you mean through. I am not very ambitious (anymore) with my career; totally mom tracked and it is what it is. For now I care about th fact that I have time to spend with the kids in the morning and I get home by 6 everyday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767763 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 21:05:02 +0000 mrsrain 2767763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 32 I have just reentered the workforce after a 4 year (2 kids) absence, and I'm basically starting from scratch. It can be really demoralizing. You're not alone! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767757 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 20:08:59 +0000 nwm 2767757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>the mommy tax is real! i'm sorry. definitely agree with PP that your time will come. is there an internal promotion you could apply for so you don't feel like you're treading water? i hear you, though, i have been feeling really frustrated with some work-related things lately--the only thing that really gives me good perspective is hanging with LO :happy: and getting some of my frustration out through a good workout. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767750 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 19:08:56 +0000 FancyGem 2767750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remind myself that there is a season for everything and my time will come. My career driven friends have told me that they would like to trade places with me at times. I know that one day my kids will be older and less dependent on me, and I will have more time to myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767735 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 18:13:50 +0000 gotkimchi 2767735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :( a much younger person with no experience just got promoted above me on Friday and I thought man this is what it feels like to be old and a curmudgeon. But I'm moving on as best I can </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767730 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 17:45:27 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2767730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with pp. I'm not super career driven but I will always remember a coworkers friend who made a tonne of money in a different industry, travelled all the time for months at a time, fancy apartment, parties, etc. And I was always thinking wow, she can do whatever! And is successful! One day I remarked to her how different our lives were and she said something along the lines of yeah I get to do that stuff, but at the end of the day I come home to a mostly empty apartment and that she was actually jealous of my life. That always puts it in perspective for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767720 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 17:23:24 +0000 MrsBucky 2767720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I remember my friends who would love to have my troubles- my single or divorced girlfriends who have the freedom and career success I sometimes wish for but who look at me and wish they had a supportive partner and a child. Im sorry it sucks right now. It is really hard. I hope this, or something else helps lift your spirits soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-just-want-to-cry#post-2767718 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 17:08:58 +0000 codeitall 2767718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm trying to look back and see the forest instead of the trees, but man is it hard today. A junior developer I mentored a few years ago just got a job as a software engineer. I know I should be happy for her, but all I can think of is how my two maternity leaves have made it impossible to job-hop into better positions (and better pay) like she has. I have to stay at a company for a year before I get maternity benefits! Basically, life sucks as a working mom.</p> <p>So, when all I want to do is cry in the mother's room, what do you do to gain perspective and feel better?</p> <p>I used to watch the Helmsdeep segment from Lord of the Rings where they think all is lost and Gandalf rides to the rescue, but I could use some new ideas : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021340 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:56:05 +0000 littleblessings 2021340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: I made a 4 course dinner for SO the other night. He came home and said he wasn't hungry. An hour later he was heating up chicken nuggets that gave him food poisoning last week. /: he spent the rest of the night in the bathroom. *eye roll* men!</p> <p>Edited to add that Chicken Pot Pie from scratch sounds amazing. I haven't had the courage to make that yet. Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021331 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:41:41 +0000 MrsRcCar 2021331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleblessings: I made chicken pot pie from scratch for dinner and he opted to eat left over chili. He said because the chili needed to eaten, but I know it's becaue there was veggies in it. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021324 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:35:07 +0000 littleblessings 2021324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My SO is the same exact way! I hate it!!! No appreciation for anything. Not even a hot dinner when he gets home at 10:30 at night. /: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021319 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:29:47 +0000 ALV91711 2021319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021313 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:23:56 +0000 MrsRcCar 2021313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mind you I am home all day with two little ones and I still manage to cook, clean and get my work done. Somehow he is always more tired then I am. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-not-my-favorite-right-now#post-2021309 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:22:13 +0000 MrsRcCar 2021309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh works as an assistant manager for a rather large family chain restaurant as the opening manager. He generally works from 5:15-3:30 sometimes longer. When he gets up in the morning for work he is not quiet which wakes up E who still co-sleeps with us. Often times I will have just got E back down from his 3:30 dance party. So we ended up nursing E again between 5:15 and 5:30 when I give up trying to give him a pacifier. E will sleep for about an hour sometimes two and then he wants to be up for the day.<br /> Why is E still in our room you ask? Wouldn't he get more rest in his own room? Why yes he would but DH is too tired to help me move the queen size bed out of the baby room and put up the other crib.<br /> Also I feel like I live in a pile of laundry (all be it clean). Dh can't be bothered to put his clothes away and would prefer to just live out of baskets. He just wants to do it tomorrow, but his tomorrow's never come. :(<br /> Tonight while we were bathing the boys he made a comment about how if it wasn't for him that my car would have been repossed because I couldn't afford it right now. However when I bring up the comment he just tries to play it off as a joke. I do work from home but I am definitely not the bread winner, we used to be more equal partners money wise but since E's premature arrival and present feeding issues I have been working from home so I have some income.<br /> Tonight he feel asleep on the couch which he does sometimes when I shook him to go to sleep he said "I can't there is stuff all over my bed". I spent all day trying to clean up and rearrange the bedroom so we would have more space but did he say thank you? No. I came up and cleared everything off and all he said was why are you mad at me?<br /> As I type this he is just snoring away and it is all I can do not to beat/smother him with a pillow. I love him to pieces but I am so upset with him right now. :crying:</p> <p>/vent. Sorry for the novel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-gaurd#post-2016642 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 10:50:26 +0000 MrsRcCar 2016642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And EI cancelled because the school that runs EI was on a two hour delay. We have to reschedule. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-gaurd#post-2016274 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 23:10:13 +0000 Ginabean3 2016274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: sending you hugs. Hang in there mama...glad you are getting your LO evaluated. He will catch up! My LO is 22 months and has been in speech therapy for about two months now and she has definitely made strides! He will get there....baby steps! </p> <p>And it's true, there is such a wide range.....we have friends who have younger LO's who hit certain milestones crazy early but then other milestones dragged for them. You just never know.</p> <p>You're a great mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-gaurd#post-2016269 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 23:05:56 +0000 brownie 2016269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: yeah he sounded underwater too. It was a 50/50 concern of hearing and apraxia. We have been treating both (tubes and therapy) and just in the last 3 months has made vast improvements. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-gaurd#post-2016255 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:57:16 +0000 MrsRcCar 2016255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: :( Sorry about your mother in law. I feel like I have closed a lot of family out of things with my boys because I just don't want to hear the comments. My folks were in denial at first but they have come around. The rest of the family not so much but it is nice to have my mum to help me shut them down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/caught-off-gaurd#post-2016251 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:54:35 +0000 MrsRcCar 2016251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: I am wondering if tubes wouldn't help him. When he does talk it sounds very much like he is talking thru water.<br /> @MrsMccarthy: I am hoping that EI really helps him. EI services come right to our house assuming that weather doesn't suck. I am wondering if I should have done the therapies at a different location so we don't miss them.<br /> @LML: N gets words mixed up a lot. We think there is some kind of blockage in his ear. We are hoping to get more answers from the audiologist next month. </p>