https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 15:32:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912787 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 18:58:36 +0000 Orange Lily 2912787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JCCovi: I'm not in CA, so hadn't seen this advice. As much as I am trying to socially responsible, it's just him, me and our daughter so not very much household mixing even if we do exchange. It's not like we have new spouses and step kids in the mix also. I see that in the UK they specifically are allowing children to visit separated parents, so everyone is trying to find the right balance of reducing transmission but supporting families. <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52018136" rel="nofollow">https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52018136</a></p> <p>@moonmoon: 100% custody would be really tricky for me right now, as I'm trying to work at home and she is 3, so wouldn't be my top choice. And despite all the shit that I talk about him, overall I know the best thing is for her to have a relationship with her dad including spending some time with him.</p> <p>Thank you all for your feedback and support. He definitely didn't admit the errors of his ways when I confronted him, but maybe it will slowly sink in over time. (And confrontation probably isn't the most effective strategy for me to use, so lesson learned for me.) None of us have done this before! I think my frustration is about how I am still dependent on him in certain ways despite the separation, and it's so frustrating to not be able to trust him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912786 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 18:51:03 +0000 Orange Lily 2912786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina @helloperidot: The thing is, he is very closed minded to any "expert" advice, and really at this point, closed down to almost anything that I tell him. I'm pretty sure that me trying to convince him that this is serious will have the opposite effect, because then it becomes a debate in his mind between the two of us that he wants to win. I mean, he doesn't listen to anything the doctor or dentist recommends because in his mind they are just saying things in order to make more money and can't be trusted, to which I respond, then who do you listen to for advice on your teeth if not the expert whom you have paid for their opinion and who has completed years of schooling??? (Somehow this aspect of his personality was not visible to me before we got married 11 years ago...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912784 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 18:47:04 +0000 Orange Lily 2912784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SteelerGirl: You are totally right that two spouses don't necessarily agree on this issue, let alone two ex-spouses. I think that realization actually helped me move forward with the separation (long before all this happened of course!). For so long I felt like at least if I were there, I could have more control over what was happening to my daughter and try to control his behavior. But it turns out you can't control your spouse--and probably shouldn't want to in a healthy relationship--so it felt more freeing to go ahead and separate, acknowledging that we were always going to have different opinions about this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912783 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 18:44:42 +0000 Orange Lily 2912783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Thanks for the hug and support. It is really strange territory and amplifies certain strains in co-parenting, for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912773 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 14:30:09 +0000 MoonMoon 2912773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. People's behavior is baffling to me. This must be beyond frustrating to you. If your ex were amenable, would keeping your daughter with you 100% of the time for a few weeks be possible for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912770 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 13:03:32 +0000 JCCovi 2912770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you in CA? Our county in the Bay Area just asked people to stop sharing custody for the time being. I can’t believe it’s at that point but it might be worth bringing into the conversation. ‘’If there’s a chance you or I might not be able to see the kids, don’t you think we need to aggressively follow the rules to prevent it getting to that point?’’ </p> [attach=5112/20/q7pm5w.337x600.438DF54A-9FFE-41E0-BD39-5EAC9CCEA580.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912768 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 12:06:58 +0000 helloperidot 2912768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: piggybacking on this, and not to cause general panic, but a 12yo is on a respirator fighting for her life, and a six year old in Iran died from COVID yesterday. We can't just sit here and think everyone is immune. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912767 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 11:35:58 +0000 josina 2912767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My step-daughter's mom apparently said in OUR house last week she thinks it's all a hoax. I was irate to hear that she's not taking it seriously while we're watching her other daughter 5 days a week. I shared a post on facebook about how even younger people are getting very sick and basically said if you're not taking it seriously to stay away from me and my family. I'm assuming she read it because this week her tone has changed.</p> <p>My DH has struggled with what to cut out as well as he is in an archery league twice a week with around 10 people. He's been taking extra precautions but finally this week decided not to go altogether.</p> <p>Maybe you can share some of those posts about how our age group is also being severely affected by this illness? I've read a few this week about healthy people in their 30's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912765 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 09:49:45 +0000 SteelerGirl 2912765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I also don't agree 100% on how to handle this. So this problem is not exclusive to ex-partners. At first I also felt my spouse was being selfish and irresponsible. But I have since shifted my attitude. There is no handbook for this. Even different states have issued different orders. No one has reached a consensus on the right level of interaction with others. We all have to go to the grocery store and that requires some interaction with others. You and your ex fall on different places on the spectrum. But it's not necessarily out of selfishness. </p> <p>That being said, a dinner party is for sure against recommended orders for every single state. So maybe focus on bringing him just a little closer to your place on the spectrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912764 Tue, 24 Mar 2020 09:36:26 +0000 Corduroy 2912764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orange Lily: I'm sorry. This situation is certainly testing a lot of co-parenting agreements and puts everyone in uncharted territory even when everyone is behaving reasonably. I don't have any advice but I wanted to send a hug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ex-spouse-not-taking-social-distancing-seriously#post-2912749 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 20:28:13 +0000 Orange Lily 2912749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ex-spouse and I just separated (like, last week) and are sharing parenting time about 50/50. He just had my 3YO daughter FaceTime me and I can hear all his friends chatting in the background. I fucking lost it! We are on a statewide lockdown, and of course all he can think about is himself. I'm dealing with all the stress of this lockdown with DD's preschool closed, so I can only work part time, so I can only make half my usual salary, and am dealing with the personal losses of being isolated from friends and family. My parents live down the street from me and I am not even taking DD over to see them to avoid exposing them, and I definitely can't take the risk if I know that he is exposing her to so many germs. And he is having a dinner party???</p> <p>This probably falls under the category of things you can't control when you are separated from your child's parent (or together with them, for that matter), but it is maddening that he is playing with her health and mine, and being such an irresponsible jackass. Of course, these are many of the reasons that I wanted to separate from him in the first place, particularly his utter lack of empathy or responsibility beyond the tip of his own nose. Thank goodness I moved out and I can ride out the lockdown in my own apartment. With no childcare though, I do really need him to watch her for half of the week, even if he is exposing her to germs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/red-cheeks-with-a-cold#post-2764056 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 17:37:00 +0000 bhbee 2764056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids get this for sure. I figure it's their immune system at work </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/red-cheeks-with-a-cold#post-2764037 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 16:52:59 +0000 lioneyes 2764037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone else's LO get a red cheek or cheeks when they have a cold? The most surefire sign that DS isn't feeling 100% is a bright red right cheek. He had this the entire winter during his back to back ear infections, and now gets it when he has a cold/allergies. He has all of his teeth, so it's not that. And it's not a rash, just one cheek is red like he is warm (and he only has a very lowgrade fever) Anyone else? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-all-the-time#post-2151644 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 16:32:38 +0000 Cherrybee 2151644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you're ok. </p> <p>In response to your initial post, my DH came off his meds in early 2013 and he is sick all the time too. I asked him if he thinks its because of the medication - he doesn't. He thinks its since having E because she brings allsorts back from daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-all-the-time#post-2151632 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 16:17:12 +0000 Chillybear 2151632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So fun times ... I was expecting them to tell me it was viral... Instead because I'm on oral bc and flew twice in the last week and have a low grade fever the dr sent me over to the ER to get a chest X-ray to be sure I don't have a clot... Fun times </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-all-the-time#post-2151599 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 15:23:09 +0000 MaryM 2151599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you ever had sinus problems? Or been tested for allergies?</p> <p>A few years ago I had pretty much constant head colds with a bout of bronchitis thrown in every month or two. It ended up all being caused by allergies and poor sinuses. I started getting allergy treatments and eventually had sinus surgery and my life is completely different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-all-the-time#post-2151592 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 15:19:27 +0000 autumnlove 2151592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry. I hope you feel better soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-all-the-time#post-2151286 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 12:34:46 +0000 Chillybear 2151286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like i'm sick all the time. Currently I have a wicked cough that's been keeping me up all night and OTC cough medicine isnt doing a thing. Just since the beginning of February I've have 4 separate incidents of colds that I get maybe a week where i feel ok then I get sick again. I'm heading to see my Dr today and i'm just afraid she's going to tell me i have a virus and there's nothing i can do. I dont know anyone who gets sick as often as I do or have it linger as long as i do. I'm wondering if my immune system is permanently damaged when i was on Immune Suppressants a few years ago but i've been off them since 2012. Any ideas of talking points i can bring up to my dr? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042448 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:51:20 +0000 .twist. 2042448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Thanks! Isn't the gunk in the eyes the worst? L has woken up the last 2 days with his eyes glued shut!!! We have to use a warm cloth to open them up, and it scares him and he tries to pry them open. :( So heartbreaking. We're in the thick of day 3 so hopefully this is over in a few days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042423 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:44:51 +0000 Anagram 2042423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO had RSV/ bronchiolitis at 6 months that was pretty severe for a week or two (several doctor visits and lots of breathing treatments) and then she had a lingering bad cough for over a month after. It was awful.</p> <p>This year, she's had a virus with gunky eyes, fever, and cold/flu symptoms twice already this winter--second time she also got a double ear infection. Both time, the worst if it was over in 4-5 days, but the cough lingered for a while. Lots of bad sleep and a lot of wakeups.</p> <p>Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042413 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:41:17 +0000 .twist. 2042413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Thanks! I think the lack of sleep totally has me acting craaazy. ;) </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Thanks! That's reassuring. One of the many things on my mind today with very little sleep! haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042410 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:38:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2042410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I wouldn't worry so much about feeding with amoxicillin. It's better, but not a huge deal. We treat children whose parents have amox allergies with amox all the time.</p> <p>I hope he feels better soon and I second the antipyrene benzocaine drops :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042365 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:07:22 +0000 blackbird 2042365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: Poor guy :( I hope he feels better soon. Amoxicillin took 6 days to kick in for us (and went fine on an empty stomach, even though it wasn't my preference). </p> <p>You can ask for some ear numbing drops, too....we had to call back and ask for them and they helped E a lot!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042334 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 15:37:51 +0000 .twist. 2042334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: Thanks for checking in. :) </p> <p>Things are questionable... we ended up taking him to the childrens hospital yesterday night because of a 104 fever that we couldn't break. He apparently has an ear infection. We didn't get home till 10:30pm last night so his sleep is all screwed up. His cough is getting worse. He was prescribed amoxicillin for the ear infection. Today has been the worst. He's totally hysterical. He was ok in the morning but after his nap he just lost it. Woke up crying and won't let anyone touch him and it's taking a really long time to calm him down. Anything is setting him off. </p> <p>I'm allergic to amoxicillin, so Im nervous and anxious that him being hysterical is a result of an allergy as well? :( </p> <p>He is supposed to eat with the meds, and not only will he not eat but we're having a hard time with any meds too.... i'm scared to give him the antibiotics on an empty stomach. </p> <p>So, to say the least, Im a wreck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2042233 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 14:36:41 +0000 MamaG 2042233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: Hows your kiddo handling RSV a few days out from the diagnosis? Have you seen the PCP yet for more guidance. Hope you are fairing well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2040179 Mon, 26 Jan 2015 10:02:29 +0000 blackbird 2040179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: You can't escape!!!! We have good luck with the nose frida immediately after a bath. And squirt a little saline up there to loosen anything up that might be causing a blockage. Sometimes the stuff that comes out, I am amazed. It's usually big chunks of stuff, too. Dried stuff. Blech. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2039868 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 21:41:05 +0000 mrsjyw 2039868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww get well soon L!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2039865 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 21:39:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2039865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: sometimes a few squirts of saline and then nose Frida can get stuff you didn't realize was in there :) sorry to be so brief. It's been an over 80 hr work week... Just finished. But if you have any questions pm me ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2039835 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 21:12:12 +0000 .twist. 2039835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I remember last year, it felt like EVERYONE had HFM. haha We didn't get that, thankfully, but now it seems that RSV is the thing this year. The doctor told me she gets daily reports of the most common viruses that day and RSV is at the top of her list along with Influenza A right now. It suuuuucks. </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Thanks! We have a nose frida, although his nose doesn't seem to be really stuffed right now? It is running a lot, but not plugged. Eyes seem to be the worst at the moment. And thanks for the tips on what to look for. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rsvirus-anyone-dealt-with-this#post-2039820 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 20:55:48 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2039820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I deal with it every single day. Probably saw 12 kids with it today. Get a nose Frida to suction, keep hydrated and watch for respiratory distress. If your baby is not able to feed, isn't making 3 wet diapers a day or is head bobbing/nasal flaring--- see a provider right away.</p> <p><a href="http://m.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/lung/rsv.html" rel="nofollow">http://m.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/lung/rsv.html</a> </p>