https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 16:23:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/page/2#post-2587379 Sun, 17 Jul 2016 06:21:04 +0000 babybean404 2587379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@teawithpaloma: whoops! I swear I thought I read all the comments, but clearly I didn't :) thanks for sharing the update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/page/2#post-2587206 Sat, 16 Jul 2016 06:26:26 +0000 teawithpaloma 2587206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: yes I restarted the thread three posts up with that link! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2587121 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 20:17:55 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2587121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So incrediby sad &amp; every parent's worse nightmare. I went back to work today and have to leave LO with my mom tomorrow. I'll be thinking of him all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2587092 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 19:32:09 +0000 babybean404 2587092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wondered why this article was coming up back now. I found a more recent interview with the author, and she's 6 months pregnant with a baby girl. I can't imagine their pain, but it somehow makes me feel a little better that they have decided to have another child. <a href="http://www.wnyc.org/story/amber-scorah-lee-towndrow-death-sex-money/" rel="nofollow">http://www.wnyc.org/story/amber-scorah-lee-towndrow-death-sex-money/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2587032 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 16:09:21 +0000 MoonMoon 2587032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That article was like a punch in the gut. My heart breaks for her and her husband and their sweet boy. I remember the feelings of anxiety and vulnerability as a new parent. No one should be forced into that choice, as the author writes.</p> <p>For the millionth time, I weep and shake my fists at the US's inhumane lack of parental support, universal healthcare, etc. Shame on us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2587018 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 15:42:22 +0000 mrswin 2587018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: In Canada at least we are entitled to a year but there are some restrictions. The first 17 weeks is for the exclusive use of the mother and is the "maternity" portion of the leave. The remaining 35 weeks can be split between the mother and father but you can not return to work and then go back off later. In our case I was off for 5 months with our daughter, had a very similar experience to yours with my DD.</p> <p>My SO took the remaining time off. </p> <p>We could have overlapped our leave to both be off for some portion of the time but since you are not being paid at 100% (in my case it was only earning 53% of my salary) this can be a costly option.</p> <p>I bow down to you ladies in the US who are sometimes only getting 6 weeks of leave :crying: it is not enough </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2586850 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 10:37:53 +0000 littlebug 2586850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Agreed. I got 12 weeks with both kids. With my son (now 3) that was the perfect amount. With my daughter (now 5m) it was too long. She was not an easy baby and I was losing my mind being home with her. Had I not gone back to work when I did, I would have spiraled into PPD. NOT AT ALL saying that PPD is the end of the world, because I know it's not, but PPD can be a slippery slope. So I'm not sure that forcing women to stay out of work for 12 (or 40!) is the right thing, either. I think what's "right" is very subjective. I like that in some countries you get a year to take however you choose. I would have loved to have had the option to go back to work at 8 or 9 weeks, then taken another few weeks off later in the year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2586811 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 09:36:27 +0000 teawithpaloma 2586811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The mother and father of the baby who passed were interviewed on my favorite podcast. They also have happy news about their new addition. <a href="http://www.wnyc.org/story/amber-scorah-lee-towndrow-death-sex-money" rel="nofollow">http://www.wnyc.org/story/amber-scorah-lee-towndrow-death-sex-money</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442467 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 19:55:14 +0000 babypugs 2442467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I also pumped until one and didn't think it affected my productivity. I took no lunch break or other breaks, and worked extra hard so that no one would accuse me of or think I was slacking. It was crazy tough to schedule, though!</p> <p>I am still working full time and nurse my two year old once before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442407 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 19:01:40 +0000 Finfan 2442407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I was EPing when I went back to work after my first was born and just couldn't make it work with a full-time job. Ultimately breastfeeding was not that important to me. I'm very supportive of other people BFing but it is just not for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442400 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 18:52:08 +0000 catomd00 2442400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If anything, made me go longer than I expected since I enjoyed the bonding aspect after being away all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442394 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 18:43:15 +0000 Corduroy 2442394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far work has not affected my timeline. I only manage to pump twice a day even though I have three times booked on my calendar. Luckily I'm making do with 2. If I needed a 3rd I'd be stressing a lot more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442154 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 15:33:25 +0000 Happygal 2442154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It didn't affect my timeline, but I'm lucky. I walked into a classroom to find a fellow teacher in tears b/c she was having such a hard time finding the time and being supported to pump. Unless you have a teacher's aide, it's challenging to find the time just to use the bathroom, let alone pump! Teaching elementary school and pumping is challenging for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442128 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 15:20:10 +0000 JenGirl 2442128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not yet. I have a very supportive work environment and fairly flexible schedule. And great pumping rooms that have a Symphony. I try to pump 3 times per day and only miss a pump once every week or two. I also pump at home 1-2 times per day. I've been able to maintain my oversupply and start donating to our milk bank, which I absolutely love. It is a struggle to get work done in less time but I've decided I'm just not going to feel guilty about that. Luckily, I work in a very female dominated field, so people are usually pretty understanding. Plus I'm the senior leader in my group, so I kind of get to set how things are done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442059 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:54:18 +0000 MamaCate 2442059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I am able to work while I pump and it is kind of a nice time to have uninterrupted thinking time. I am a supervisor so I have my own office and set my schedule which helps a lot. I just use my hands free pumping bra and get set up then work on paperwork or the computer until my timer goes off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2442057 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:53:10 +0000 snowjewelz 2442057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was able to pump at work, but there are times when meetings would delay (or sometimes severely delay) a pump, or make me miss a pump. I also had to travel into a diff office a few times and that messed with my pumping too.</p> <p>I don't think this alone hurt my supply, but certainly did not help when I was already struggling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441997 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:24:40 +0000 PawPrints 2441997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: It is tough. I am able to get work done while pumping to a certain extent since I can just bring my laptop into the pumping room, but it makes scheduling meetings difficult. Add in the fact that I have to leave work earlier in order to get home before she goes to bed, and it's a time crunch. I am looking forward to quitting pumping at some point after she turns one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441960 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:09:31 +0000 blackbird 2441960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, in that I accepted that it would probably affect it. I only pump once a shift at the ER, which is less than while I'm at my desk job. And I started working there when T was 4 months old. But, hey, extenuating circumstances, and formula is goodness in my book. </p> <p>Pumping is a PITA. I'm pretty over it and feeling like I'm ready to quit soon, anyways, and only nurse a couple times a day. It's also been really eye opening into the world of non desk jobs-it's nearly impossible to find the time, sometimes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441955 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:08:11 +0000 Alivoo01 2441955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope because work was really accommodating about my pumping schedule. Otherwise, I'm sure it would have since I didn't exactly have the best supply. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441939 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 14:00:28 +0000 Alba4 2441939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I was back to work after a 4.5 month maternity leave. My school does have a pumping room, but it was far away in the nurses office, the door didn't lock, it was freezing, and you could hear kids come and go to the nurse. Plus my teaching schedule made it hard to pump as much as I would have needed to keep up my supply. I think if I were at home, I would have pumped for much longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441908 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:39:16 +0000 artsyfartsy 2441908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I feel like pumping impacted my supply. His weight began to slow down around the time I went back to work.</p> <p>Had I not had to pump and stayed home with him all day to nurse I think I would have lasted a lot longer with BFing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441902 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:34:20 +0000 Ajsmommy 2441902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I believe my going back to work did affect my timeline. I was able to pump however it still lead to a decrease in supply and DD eventually self weaned prior to my "timeline". I fully believe if I had been home to nurse all day we would have nursed longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441890 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:27:47 +0000 pwnstar 2441890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Yes. Even though I had every advantage at work (private office, door lock, ability to set my schedule (for the most part)), it was HUGE strain to pump 2/3 times a day. I struggled with supply the first month I went back, and even though I could pump when I needed to, it was still very draining and added even more stress to the adjustment process. I stopped pumping at around 10ish months, but I nursed part-time until I weaned LO at 15 months. I wish I hadn't been so stubborn and pump weaned much sooner. It would have been a huge relief! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441886 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:23:00 +0000 erinbaderin 2441886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really - I had a year of mat leave so I was able to nurse exclusively for six months (which was good because I never managed to get the hang of the pump, although the fact that I never needed to probably also affected that) and then introduce solids. I started weaning him down to 2 sessions a day at around 10 months so that by the time I went back to work I'd be down to just first thing in the morning and bedtime. The only thing is that from there he weaned himself off completely pretty quickly, which I'm not sure if he would have done if I hadn't started limiting his supply the rest of the time, but we made it to about 13 months so I was fine with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441875 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:16:28 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2441875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Yea I had to go up to a lactation room to pump, so it was time away from work and of course my boss always seemed to need me right around 10am when I would be up there. </p> <p>@lawbee11: Ugh, I had to pump 3-4 times to keep my supply. As soon as I dropped to 2 pumps my supply dropped a lot. It also meant no eating out with friend or even eating a nice lunch myself because I had to go pump (three 20 minute breaks). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441874 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:15:43 +0000 rachiecakes 2441874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: yes, I was really stressed out. I would plug in my laptop in the conference room and pump. I would be so stressed about work it was hard to achieve the letdown no matter what the pump settings were. Every now and then someone would come in to chat while I was pumping or they would call the conference room phone for me. It was really really hard.<br /> I thought it would be so easy, I'd be like pumping bottles full and plenty every day. </p> <p>(I couldn't have pumped on my lunch break. I lived close enough to the office that I went home to nurse.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441870 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:13:16 +0000 rachiecakes 2441870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also went back to work at 7 weeks but was only allowed to pump 2x a day and it definitely hurt my supply. Some days I was so stressed I could barely pump an ounce.<br /> I gave my all and we made it to 11 months. I would've continued for as long as I could've if things had been different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441869 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:13:05 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2441869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sure hope works doesn't affect my pumping plans. We bought a cooler that touts it's stays cold for 24 hours. I'm going to have to pump in my car 4 days a week and store the milk in my trunk inside the cooler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441867 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:10:52 +0000 lawbee11 2441867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: No, but I only pumped twice and for about 20 minutes each time. If I needed to I would take a shorter lunch and eat at my desk but usually that wasn't necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-did-work-affect-your-breastfeeding-timeline#post-2441864 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 13:09:27 +0000 LBee 2441864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it did not. I went back to work at 8 weeks. I pumped and breastfed for 12 months. </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: No, I did not. I pumped while working, though. The only thing was hard was that I traveled for work with my boss and figuring out where to stop when we were driving somewhere. I will say a lot of my headspace was spent figuring out the timing of my pumps. </p>