https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 22:53:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2275190 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 19:22:51 +0000 Mrs. Bee 2275190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would stick it out for a couple more weeks. i know so many kids that had a hard time then magically flipped a switch and loved daycare. at that age it is so good for them i think. stay strong and i hope it works out! </p> <p>i know your pain... the first two weeks of charlie's daycare (at 21 months) it hurt me so much!!!! but it ended up being the best decision ever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2275183 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 19:20:00 +0000 Owlmama 2275183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am struggling with this too. My daughter started about 2 weeks ago at 22 months and has a cold now...sigh...hope it does get better </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274930 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 15:32:25 +0000 MamaCate 2274930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rolypoly: i agree you should keep LO at school! I just wanted to add that it may be worth looking into services that can provide back up care--we are enrolled in one through my husband's work although we have never had to use it. It is like a nanny agency and they will come to your house and take care of your kid when they are too sick to go to daycare and you have to work. </p> <p>We don't have family in town so it was important to have the option, although my job is flexible enough that we have been able to make it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274915 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 15:25:47 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2274915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rolypoly: I agree keep her there.</p> <p>Yes, they may not go outside during the day as much in a center, but hopefully they do start to do other activities like circle time, and learning how to sit at a table without snatching the other kids food, and life skills like that! If you are curious about who the day looks, ask to talk to the teacher or ask for more detailed status sheets. Just say you are new to this center thing and would appreciate for a little while some more details on the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274914 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 15:25:27 +0000 rolypoly 2274914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all. This is super helpful. I think I'm jumping the gun a little just because of the stress of finding backup care this week (and paying for a full week of daycare where he couldn't go because he was sick!). I think if I have a reliable plan for when he is sick (which will help after I've been at my job for awhile and have some sick leave accrued) things might seem less stressful. I am going to start working on some alternative plans though... I think I didn't really realize how good we had it with our previous nanny :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274867 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 14:49:47 +0000 daniellemybelle 2274867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my LO was having trouble adjusting to daycare (crying literally all day) I did what @katsupgirl: did - I researched all my other options just to feel like I had them. By the time anything was really panning out (and nothing great did) a switch flipped and she was fine. Daycare was never awesome for her/us but I knew she was content, safe and had fun there and I was comfortable with continuing to send her.</p> <p>What is the communication like from the "after care" teacher? They should be able to tell you how the day went because the main teacher shared some tidbits. If you feel like it's not enough, I would just tell the teacher at drop off: "Can you make sure to tell the teacher who will be here at pick-up how LO's day went so she can share it with me? I really want to know how long he cries after I drop him off and if that is improving each day."</p> <p>Our daycare teachers were super communicative and would actually write down how long LO cried at different intervals. (It was literally: "Cried 9-10am. Content 10-11:25am. Crying off and on until 12pm.") I just asked for what I wanted and they were very sweet about it - but I have since learned that is kind of unusual. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274683 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:30:30 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2274683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with what previous posters have said - it's probably worth sticking it out for a little bit. My daughter is 23 months and she does come home and talk about her friends and her "teacher" from daycare. I think the socialization is one of the huge perks of a daycare center.</p> <p>That said, I'm also a huge believer in the mama gut instinct, so if you're feeling awful about it and a nanny is affordable and feels like a better fit, trust your gut! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274679 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:27:35 +0000 MenagerieMama 2274679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just started at daycare at 11 mo, transiting from a nanny. One thing that I did on the first couple days was call at lunch time to see how she was doing, then I was able to talk with her main teacher and get a report for the first part of the day. Is there a time you could call to check in? LO is still transitioning, but she's actually doing way better than she did with the nanny transition! Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274663 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:17:16 +0000 yoursilverlining 2274663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with everyone – you need to give it more time before making a decision, if you want to give daycare a truly fair shot. He might have the same reaction to being left with a new nanny, anyway. My LO has been at the same center since she was an infant, and the transition between just *rooms* at the same center is rough. It takes her weeks and weeks to fully adjust. </p> <p>A couple of things: </p> <p>Most kids stop crying once mom and dad are out of eye-shot. My LO did this at your LO’s age; she would sob while I left, but once I was out of the room (I could still see/hear her, but she couldn’t see/hear me), she was fine. If there is a particular teacher/floater who could help your LO transition in the morning with maybe a special routine, that might help. </p> <p>IMO, it isn’t that big of a deal that your LO doesn’t have just one teacher all day. Kids can form good, strong relationships with multiple caregivers at the same time. It doesn’t mean that your LO is missing out on anything because the same teacher isn’t there all day. He’s learning to trust multiple adults, which is a good thing! </p> <p>Even at 18 months, your LO will form friendships quickly, and the activities that groups of kids can do are just different than those that will get done 1:1 with a parent or nanny. Sharing, patience, waiting one’s turn, etc. are easier lessons to teach through a group, where they just get learned naturally, by necessity. The positive peer pressure of daycare has been great for my LO, both in terms of social stuff and other things (she refused to drink milk, but after a few weeks of everyone at the lunch table drinking milk, LO got on board too. Now she loves milk!). </p> <p>Transitions are hard – no easy way through time but time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274662 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:15:59 +0000 hummusgirl 2274662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like @blackbird said, give it time. My LO transitioned from a nanny to daycare around 24 months and it was rough (not to mention we'd moved cross-country, started new jobs etc.). I was ready to pull him out because it was so hard to see him unhappy, but after a couple months he was walking around like he owned the place. He liked the other kids and I think it helped that we talked about them at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274646 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:09:12 +0000 mediagirl 2274646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can do it. you will get through this. It WILL GET BETTER. The illnesses and figuring out work and care when your lo is sick is the hardest part. But once they (I hated when people said this to me but it's so, so true) build up that immunity, kids are so much healthier in general. </p> <p>Who is in the room at pickup? Can you call the teacher before she leaves for the day for an update? I usually ask the afternoon teacher what she knows of the day and then the next morning talk to the morning teacher again. They should be passing info to each other, though! Do they send home notes? A good center will have no problem letting you call to ask questions or get a daily report before the main teacher leave.</p> <p>ETA: We don't have backup care so I feel your pain there. When our lo was out for over a week with roseola, I called my mom in and she stayed with us for a few days until our lo could go back. Lean on whomever you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274643 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:06:37 +0000 Mamasig 2274643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wait a bit. It definitely gets better. DS1 started daycare at 2. Prior to that my mom watched him at home. He got sick a lot for the first couple of months but then he built his immune system up a bit and rarely gets sick now. He cried at drop off for 3 months but I knew he was fine after the 1st week. He wouldn't cry during the day really - just at drop off. </p> <p>Being a working mama is very hard. Having backup help is a tremendous help. I'm lucky my mom is my back up on sick days and that I have a flexible job. But hang in there , it truly does get better. The socialization aspect is huge. They learn so much about listening, following directions, etc. They have a huge influence on your child - in a good way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274602 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:39:13 +0000 Bluebonnet 2274602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rolypoly: LO2 is 18 months and started school Monday (previously home with a nanny for the last year). She got a stomach virus yesterday, so I am right there with you. </p> <p>LO1 went to school from 6 months until 28 months (when we pulled her from school and hired a nanny for several reasons). So I've been on both sides of the fence. There are pros and cons to daycare and pros and cons to a nanny. Neither situation is perfect. </p> <p>It takes time for kids to adjust. Its brutal during the adjustment period, but it does get much better. And its so nice to see your LO develop friendships with their school friends. Have you talked to LOs teachers or the adminstration about what they can do and what you can do to make the transition easier?</p> <p>What does LO's schedule look like for the day? Our school has recess twice a day (outside) for our 18 month old, but they also go to the music room, the gym, have story time, focus on gross motor skills, do art, etc. They are switching activities multiple times a day, so its not like being inside all day with a nanny. </p> <p>How is staffing handled at LO's school? At our school there are 3 teachers for each room - 1 person opens and leaves early, 1 person closes and stays late, and there is another person (the lead teacher) that works 8-5). The lead teachers fill out the day sheet (so even if we don't get to talk to her, she leaves notes). We are also able to ask the closing teacher how LO did (because she was there most of the day too).</p> <p>You need to do what works best for you. If you switch to a nanny, there will still be an adjustment period because its a new person. And unless you home school, someday LO will be in school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274600 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:37:49 +0000 ms.line 2274600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick it out for at least another couple of months. As you get into a routine the anxiety will lessen for both you and your LO, and his immune system will catch up (mostly). Change is hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274599 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:36:12 +0000 Mrs D 2274599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick it out. It takes kids a while to adjust - I'd give it 2 months or so...especially since everything you have mentioned seems normal/safe.</p> <p>As for the updates from the teacher - do they fill out a "How my day was" form? I really rely on this. In the past I have commented about not getting in person feedback from DDs primary caregiver and they have taken the time to give a more detailed summary on the form. May be an option. Plus - 7:45-4 with one teacher is pretty good. Anywhere you go its going to be not the full day simply bc of 8hr shifts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274588 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:22:15 +0000 Jess1483 2274588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH part-time, so my son had only ever been left with my mom (who did care when I worked) or one of us before we put him in preschool at 2. We didn't need to, it was more for socialization/me to have some time/LO#2 was on the way. It was a bit of a rough transition for a couple weeks, but then he's totally blossomed. He loves going to school and learns so many things I never even thought to teach him ;) I'm so glad we did it, and pushed through the harder times.</p> <p>I, too, pick up when he's with a teacher who isn't his main teacher. This luckily wasn't true when he was just starting, and can be a source of stress for me, but I just have to trust that if there's a problem, they'll let me know, and otherwise I try to catch up with the teacher at pick-up if I have a question about the day before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274587 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:22:09 +0000 catlady 2274587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick it out. Nothing you mentioned seems like a deal breaker. For me, one of the biggest perks of daycare is the socialization. My LO is 22 months and always talking about her friends and teachers when we are at home. The other moms tell me that their kids do the same thing. Once yours gets to that point, I think you will feel alot better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274586 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:21:28 +0000 CakeLady 2274586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS was with a nanny from months 3-6, and then started daycare. It was a rough transition but now he really enjoys daycare, he learns so much there, and we are happy with our decision. It probably took 2 months for me to feel good about it and we've had similar challenges with illness and not having the same teachers there in the morning and afternoon, but if I consider the big picture it has been great for DS. </p> <p>You could always ask the next morning about how the previous day went or call to check in during the day. I did both pretty early on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274576 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:17:25 +0000 birdofafeather 2274576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would also stick it out for a few months! DD went through a bit of separation anxiety at 18 months (after never meeting a stranger as a baby/young toddler) and also with a move, it can be a lot for a kiddo! you'll get in a groove and the socialization and easy access to your kiddo will be great! the monetary savings is an added plus! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274560 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:02:53 +0000 katsupgirl 2274560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would start looking for a nanny just so I felt like I was doing something. For me just taking action makes me feel less anxious and not in control. You wouldn't find one overnight so maybe in that time you'd both get adjusted enough to continue and if not you already made some progress with the search. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274559 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:02:45 +0000 blackbird 2274559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's only the second week. I'd commit to a couple months before going to a nanny. You have a lot going on right now! You'll always have shitty weeks </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-pep-talk#post-2274550 Thu, 27 Aug 2015 11:47:31 +0000 rolypoly 2274550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok you guys I need a working mom pep talk, I'm about done with tears for the week and I feel so frustrated. </p> <p>We recently moved, and as part of our relocation, we decided it made sense to transition our 19 month old to a center-based daycare. He's was previously cared for by a nanny from 2 months - 18 months. We thought daycare would be a) a way for him to socialize; b) cheaper, so we could save some cash money (cha-ching!); c) easier than going though the nanny finding and interviewing process. </p> <p>We're in week two of daycare and I'm about ready to loose it. The daycare is right next to both of our works and came recommended by colleagues. He's terribly sick, which I knew would happen, but I wasn't really cognizent of how stressful finding backup care would be. It's my second week at my new job and I needed to take a sick day already, and we've been calling in the family troops to handle the other days this week. </p> <p>He's crying at drop off, which I also knew would happen, but I didn't know how hard it would be to hear it. One of my biggest stresses is that when he was with his nanny I knew he was playing outside at least 50% of the time - at the daycare center, they go on one walk once a day. Otherwise they are inside. That seems so cooped up for a toddler!</p> <p>Finally, while the teacher who runs the room is great, she's not there at pick up (we do 7:45-5:15, and she works 7 - 4). That means we don't get to talk with her about how the day went. It stresses me out that he's not with the same person all day. </p> <p>Is it crazy to pull the plug after two weeks and try to find a nanny again? How to other people handle this? It seems like so far all there are is downsides to daycare - 19 month old isn't going to be like "mom, I met awesome friends!". </p> <p>Ugh, pep talk? Should I stick it out? Or is the stress not worth whatever monetary savings we get? </p>