https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 05:43:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-246191 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 20:31:54 +0000 heffalump 246191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds like you found a good solution! I think my mom had issues with my lo because shes so used to being the mommy and now shes not. She wants to be the one who comforts lo and its not always like that. It has gotten to the point where my lo is comforted by her now, but it took a lot of time for us to get there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-246142 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 20:19:37 +0000 plantains 246142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great solution, I'm stealing this as I am in a similar situation with my MIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-245701 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 18:50:31 +0000 Rubies 245701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad you had a good conversation with mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-245692 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 18:48:53 +0000 jackieomy 245692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Follow up: I asked my midwife about it, and basically practiced the conversation with her. Mom and I then had a talk this afternoon. Basically, I talked about how physically exhausting I'm finding parenting.</p> <p> I then said that I love having her visit, and that I'm positive that Samuel is in good care, but that I worry about her. She said that she didnt want to leave us in a lurch, so she would soldier on. </p> <p>I told her that, eventually, we'd need a babysitter from time to time, and that finding one sooner than later wouldn't be an issue. </p> <p>I said that we could definitely find modifications for her (keeping the carseat in the stroller so she wouldnt have to lift it, creating a station next to her chair so she'd have everything on hand without having to get up numerous times. I then also suggested that we could have someone nearby on call if she needed some help.</p> <p>This opened up the conversation to having her still come to visit and then having a sitter in the house while she's here. That would allow her to be grandma without having to do the heavy lifting. She seems fine with that, and I still get to show her that I do want her here.</p> <p>Thanks for all your help. I'll keep you posted about how her transition to grandma-hood goes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-245369 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 16:11:36 +0000 mjane 245369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It might be a hard conversation, but it sounds like you're worried about approaching it sensitively, which will probably be a big help! I think just expressing that you care about her and you don't want to put her in a crummy situation will be helpful. (And it's worth considering that a not-very-mobile infant is in some ways a good match for a less-mobile grandma.) Unless you really don't think she can handle it, it's something she'll have to decide herself--ideally after a little bit more experience hanging out with him.</p> <p>Parents aging sucks. That's all there is to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244365 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 07:41:08 +0000 DillonLion 244365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My advice is that if you really get the sense that this needs to be discussed, make sure you are very, very sensitive and careful with your wording. This is a really touchy subject for grandparents, as I've learned firsthand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244364 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 07:40:57 +0000 jackieomy 244364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the responses! I know it's best to have the conversation, but in my experience, those types of talks haven't gone well. Mjane, I like the diplomacy of your suggestion.</p> <p>I'm less worried about her doing "old school" things and more worried about her being able to pick up, carry, and maneuver around the house for a five-hour shift. I think that's why the talk is so difficult for me -- it's about her health. Thoughts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244340 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 06:28:54 +0000 purrpletulips 244340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you feel your mom is having similar thoughts then it would be good to talk with her about it. You might be able to come up with a solution that would put both of you at ease. A couple things - if she didn't have the mobility issues when she was raising you/your siblings that might make her a little more uneasy this time and keep in mind that lots of things have changed from when you were a newborn to now; for example, my mom was told to put us to sleep on our stomachs and to give us cereal in our bottles. It would be a good idea to make a list of the things that you want and do not want to happen and go over that with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244336 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 06:11:38 +0000 mjane 244336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sisters were similarly freaked about leaving their babies with my mom, who also acted as if she had never met a baby (she had four of her own, though!). But after more time hanging out all together, like @habesbabe suggests, everyone was more comfortable. She did a few bizarre things when left to her own devices, but I actually think it was good for everyone to step out of their comfort zones and see that things won't fall apart if they're aren't done just so. And practice builds confidence on Grandma's end! ....And I'm happy to report that both my niece and my nephew have safely made it to elementary school. </p> <p>I understand that it's zero fun to talk about it, but if you sense that she's worried about it too, maybe you should just brace yourself and bring it up. You can say, "it was so wonderful of you to offer to come help out with the baby. It would of course be great for us, but I want to make sure that you want to do it, and feel comfortable doing it first. And don't worry--we can totally find someone else to fill in if you're not into it." Even if that last part isn't 100% true, it will help you get a sense of her comfort level--she won't feel like if she doesn't help out, you guys are screwed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244300 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 01:05:10 +0000 HabesBabe 244300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would it be possible for her to "watch" the baby while you're in the house one day for a practice run? That way, you guys can both go over things that would need to be updated/tweaked when she's really watching him and you're out of the house.</p> <p>My mom watched our 2 week old while the hubs and I ran some errands... we came back and she had tried to give her a bit of water in her bottle. I almost freaked out, but I guess that was normal for her (she said she gave me water when I was a newborn). Little things like that won't come to mind until they actually happen, but just try not to freak out if it's not a big issue... in the end, she's doing the best she can for her grandchild, and it's been a long time she you were a newborn, so things have changed and she's prob a bit rusty ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-mom-parented-a-newborn-once-right#post-244295 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 00:25:38 +0000 jackieomy 244295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello all. I have a sticky situation and would love some help/perspective/advice.</p> <p> I will be heading back to school to teach part time in August -- 2 days a week, 5 hours a day. Our primary child care person, my brother-in-law, is out of town for the first few weeks of school. </p> <p>My mom, who is currently visiting from out of state for the week, has offered to come into town for a week to help provide babysiting coverage.</p> <p>I would love the help, but this current visit has me wondering if she's up for the challenge. It feels like she doesn't remember at all what it takes to care for a newborn. So far, she's had a lot of trouble soothing him (he likes to be moved around and bounced), holding him, feeding him, burping him, changing him, etc. </p> <p>She's scared she'll hurt him, and she has some mobility issues that make me worried that she'll hurt herself while trying to care for him. </p> <p> He'll be 10 weeks when she visits -- a heavier, (hopefully) less fussy baby -- and I'm not completely confident she'll be able to cope. I also think she's thinking similar thoughts, but we both are avoiding talking about it because that's how our family rolls.</p> <p>Thoughts? How do I broach the topic? What do I say? What other options are there that would allow her to help while protecting her and my son from stress/harm?</p> <p>Thanks! </p>