https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Jul 2026 16:24:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2386451 Sat, 12 Dec 2015 12:32:59 +0000 sarac 2386451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I separate the comforting from the lesson. As a child I was always shamed like this, and it just made me absolutely risk averse, because I knew that if I took a risk and hurt myself, I wouldn't really be comforted. Only shamed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2386431 Sat, 12 Dec 2015 11:54:09 +0000 pastemoo 2386431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We give him a hug and say " I don't like to learn the hard way. Did you just learn the hard way?"<br /> And next warning includes " do you want to learn the hard way?"<br /> I don't feel like I'm rewarding him by comforting after injury that he "deserved." He might not be old enough, and also he isn't much of a daredevil. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2386405 Sat, 12 Dec 2015 11:19:01 +0000 808love 2386405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last night LO leaped from chair to chair in the dining room. I warned her and when she fell she didn't really hurt herself. I said- "you see! You need to listen to Mom. Otherwise one day you might get really hurt. I want you to be safe."(Old school speech handed down from generations. ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385473 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 10:53:50 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2385473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is one of those kids that just doesn't seem to learn. She can fall a thousand times doing the same unsafe behavior. She gets an I told you so first, then comfort. It's the only way she remembers. And I try to take away whatever it was that led to the unsafe behavior but I can't exactly take away all the furniture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385418 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 10:07:54 +0000 Bubbles 2385418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is 23 months, I will straight away comfort him (in a non-dramatic, calm way which is what I would usually do). Then I will ask him to tell me what happened and why (I also would do this anyway even if he hadn't been warned). He rarely needs prompting to be able to say why, but I will help him if needed. Then I leave it there - I figure he's learned his lesson by getting hurt far better than anything I can convey in a lecture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385414 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 10:02:31 +0000 MamaChin 2385414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll comfort but ask "what can we do better next time?" My guy is 3 so he'll answer me and usually the issue is resolved. My girl is 21 months and it doesn't work as well (yet? Hopeful). If they do get into the same situation, instead of saying be careful I'll remind them what happened last time and that's usually enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385412 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 10:01:37 +0000 mrs. wagon 2385412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I physically comfort with hugs, whatever it takes to get them to be calm again. No point in trying to talk to a kid who is crying/guilty/remorseful/panicked. Then once they are calm, I continue to hold them while sternly discussing what their mistake was, why I didn't want them to do it, and asking if they understand why they should never do it again.</p> <p>I guess I am a lecturer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385315 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 08:39:33 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2385315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually comfort her and say something like "this is why mommy told you to be careful/watch out/get down. I just want to keep you safe." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385262 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 07:51:20 +0000 Adira 2385262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Yep, this! I comfort, but use it as a teaching opportunity and say something like "This is why you need to listen to Mama when she tells you not to do X." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385190 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 03:03:25 +0000 Cherrybee 2385190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find it really hard not to launch into a lecture but I comfort, while reminding her of my warning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385153 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 00:24:13 +0000 Greentea 2385153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"Oh honey, I am so sorry you got hurt, that's why we keep our butt on the seat, next time please keep your butt on the seat and listen to mommy, trust mommy, I am here to keep you safe, okay?" </p> <p>(If she got hurt standing on her chair or something.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385114 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 23:15:33 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2385114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If minor then I actually don't really comfort. Ha ha. But if it's major I'll comfort as I express how sad I am he's hurt and how I wish he didn't do xyz.. My guy is only 1.5 though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385110 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 23:11:02 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2385110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Comfort first, then talk about it. Getting hurt is such a good lesson in itself; I don't think it really need an I told you so. (DH likes to lecture as hez trying to comfort lo...mostly because it upsets him so much when lo gets hurt. It doesn't work.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385056 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 22:24:56 +0000 LindsayLou 2385056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kiddo is too little for this (only 3.5 months), but I've experienced this as a nanny, so different situation but similar as well. I always tried to comfort, calm the kid down, and then talk about why they got hurt. I feel like the reminder that they got hurt because they did something unsafe sticks with them better if they're already calm and comforted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385040 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 22:12:59 +0000 MrsSRS 2385040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the hurt is really, truly minor and I am really, truly tired of the behavior I don't always comfort. I might say, sympathetically, that it looked like that hurt and they should give it a rub and go play and make better choices next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385036 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 22:09:00 +0000 Foodnerd81 2385036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hug her but also say things like, see this is why I told you not to do xyz. Mommy doesn't want you to get hurt! Feels a little "I told you so" but I also think in the moment is the best time to get it through to her that I tell her things for a reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385012 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 21:50:02 +0000 Bao 2385012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will typically say, "well honey, I told you to be careful!" as I am comforting them... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1-kid-is-doing-unsafe-thing-2-you-warn-them-they-will-hurt-themselves-3-they-hurt-themselves#post-2385006 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 21:46:44 +0000 mrbee 2385006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What do you do?</p> <p>This has been happening a lot lately. I usually comfort the kids, but then I feel like I'm "rewarding" them for being unsafe (if that makes any sense). But when they're crying big tears over a fall, my heart goes out to them...</p> <p>What do you do when your kids hurt themselves doing something unsafe that you just warned them about? </p>