https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Jul 2026 05:19:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240391 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 01:44:26 +0000 erwoo 1240391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My youngest used to do that multiple times a day. I'm not kidding you. MULTIPLE... it was crazy insane. It drove me insane at times, especially when both of my boys are at it at the same time. What worked for me was completely ignoring him unless his tantrum was becoming harmful to himself, then I would step in and comfort him, but most times I didn't have to step in. He used to throw his head back (many ouches!) so whenever I saw that he was starting to throw one, I would just help him lie on his back so he can throw his tantrum. I think within a month or so he got over it pretty quickly. He throws them still but he actually sloooowly leans back and gently puts his head on the floor and throws his tantrums now. Or he lies on his belly and kicks. I still ignore him and he gets over it within a minute. Most times within seconds. It is getting better. So I'd like to say that it does get better. My oldest didn't throw these kinds of tantrums so this was new to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240369 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 00:52:21 +0000 googly-eyes 1240369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: oh and I also think you are spot on with your point on consistency!! So important but I find it difficult sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240366 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 00:47:18 +0000 googly-eyes 1240366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: that you did it right! :)</p> <p>Eta (IMO obviously...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240365 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 00:46:31 +0000 Beehive 1240365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: Thanks! Yes, we do let him play independently (in fact, he spends half an hour or so in his crib playing on his own with his toys in the morning after I feed him, and we give him some time on his own after he wakes up in the morning and from naps - he likes talking to his dinosaur blanket and/or throwing it out of the crib) - I think he's less upset about being left alone as he is upset to be confined to his crib when he wants to roam free. He's picky about when he'll play in his crib happily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240344 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:40:08 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1240344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beehive: Oh! I had another thought! Do you do Independent Play with him during the day? That would probably REALLY help with having to be put down for a minute while you go to the bathroom, etc. :) I loved Mrs. Lion's recent post about this. We've been implementing it with Little P with really good results. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240342 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:38:18 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1240342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beehive: I was really worried about the short amount of time in "time out" too, but if he was still crying badly after a minute or two I definitely went back in to let him know I was there and he "sobered up" right away. Although I will say that most of the time he calmed down on his own. But, every child is so different! You may find another version that works for you, like leaving a lovey or animal in there you think will help your LO calm down. Just ideas. :) I know every child probably responds to different things. </p> <p>And yes about the consistency of expectations!! It's amazing how much they're really picking up at such a young age isn't it? They're so smart! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240340 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:34:23 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1240340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I was thinking about this thread as I was in the shower and I remember that at the EXACT same age I was posting in all kinds of mom boards about what to do about tantrums, so I think it's really normal! :-)</p> <p>I also wanted to add that when I say NEED, that could also be a need for love and affection, but if DS was pushing away from us, then I would assume his "need" was more about getting his way. :) Another thing I realized was that I needed to stay calm even though I felt like I was going to lose my mind. It kind of made him lose the "satisfaction" of seeing me fall apart and get all flustered if I talked to him and responded calmly. </p> <p>@Googly-eyes - I was unsure of what you were saying, were you saying to be careful to use time outs correctly or that we used them correctly as "resets?" </p> <p>We used the crib for "time out" because we knew it would be safe and would keep him contained. At that age he was very much into running around the house like crazy and there would have been no sense in having him "sit down" somewhere. :-)</p> <p>What I heard a lot from other moms when I felt like I was doing everything wrong was to just stay consistent and I think that really worked for Little P! That way he isn't surprised by how we handle things since we (try to) be consistent. :-) I promise that as they learn the boundaries you set, the tantrums DOO get better! I thought they would never go away at that age, but we hardly get them anymore. Sorry if I just rambled on and on! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240329 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:26:23 +0000 Beehive 1240329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: This is very interesting, I plan on using time outs and the counting method (1-2-3 magic), but didn't realize time outs could work this early (LO is also 13 months). I feel like he would just cry hysterically for a minute if I put him in the crib for a minute (he sometimes does this when I put him in the crib for a minute if I need to go to the bathroom and I'm the only one watching him).</p> <p>@Beebug: Thanks for asking this question! I don't think we've had any full-on "tantrums" yet, but LO certainly makes his displeasure known when we try to take something away from him. Redirection tends to work at this point, but I want to make sure I'm consistent with discipline and expectations so as not to confuse him and make our lives more difficult in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240317 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:11:25 +0000 googly-eyes 1240317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: Time outs used correctly!! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240309 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:59:36 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1240309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with pps. Get on her level and tell her what you expect and validate the feelings, and then try redirection. However, if DS continued with a tantrum and screaming and refusing to listen (when we KNEW he knew what we were expecting of him but was being defiant, such as throwing all his food off his high chair tray at the beginning of dinner), we would put him in his crib for 1-2 minutes without his toys or lovies to give him a chance to calm down. It almost always worked as a "reset" for him. </p> <p>Personally, I would be hesitant to give too much attention when it seems like there's just defiance and not a NEED. Because I've found if they're looking for attention, even bad attention they will continue the behavior. Which is why I like the idea of a very brief "time out" in a meltdown to allow for him to collect himself.<br /> That's just my opinion and what we've done. But, I think it has worked pretty well because we hardly have to use "time outs" now at 18 months. :) I think we've only had to use it about a dozen times total, but that may just be because it works with Little P's personality and he's usually easily distracted/re-directed. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240298 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:40:11 +0000 googly-eyes 1240298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just try to validate and stick with whatever we were doing. For example if she wants to stay outside but we are coming inside I will pick her up, rub her back a couple times and say, "I know you like it out there, but we have to come inside now." Then I proceed to redirection (eg, giving her a toy that's used inside.) She may not understand everything I explain to her the first time, and that's ok. She has actually picked up a lot of words in the last month (&amp; she's 14m now.) My purpose is also not just to stop the tantrums (although ones about certain situations have improved from 11m when it started to now, the inside/outside being one of them!) but to set boundaries while also validating dd's emotions and her right to have them!</p> <p>ETA And to answer your thing about crying..I don't let her cry. Sometimes if she is so overcome that comforting and redirection don't work then I will attempt to comfort her, then let her cry a little and come back to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240266 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:05:40 +0000 MamaMoose 1240266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO will be one one Tuesday and she is doing the same thing. If we take something away from her that she wants she does this horrible whine/shriek. I usually tell her "I'm sorry but you can't have/do that because of "x" reason, but mommy still loves you" and then I let her fuss it out.</p> <p>ETA: I've found that getting down to her level and saying it in a soft gentle voice is most effective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/13m-tantrums-what-should-i-be-doing#post-1240254 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:52:27 +0000 Beebug 1240254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My lovely little dear has decided laying on the floor and screaming is the new thing.</p> <p>I have nooooo idea if this is age appropriate or if it's something she's learning at daycare.</p> <p>I am talking about these in the context of she's not due for a nap, she's not hungry, etc. Those moments where she's totally fine and throwing a fit over gosh knows what. She'll ask to be up in my arms, then arch to go down, then ask to come up, then arch, I put her down and she FREAKS, lays on the floor and loses her mind. Tears, face down on the floor (lol).</p> <p>I have picked her up and said "I love you, I love you, I love you" then started singing those three words, over and over and over and then dancing around the house (with her in my arms). I have put her in her room on her "book nook" (3 x 3 6" foam mattress on the floor we read books on) and walked away. Let her scream as she is. She totally always comes out of it, someway, somehow....eventually.</p> <p>I know she understands sentences at this point, but nothing when irrational and irritated, there is definitely no way to effectively communicate with her right now I feel like, she just seems too young still, and I didn't think fits/tantrums would be part of our lives this soon, eeeep!</p> <p>Any tips or tricks? I'd love to hear anything. I am all for tough love when necessary (in terms of not buying in and she can CIO if needed). I feel so funny asking this, it's really just come on in the last week and I was/am so not prepared! </p>