https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 23:56:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242565 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 07:03:05 +0000 matador84 2242565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: I didn't say it wasn't detrimental. The school I work at also has a daycare on site. there have been years where we have had over 100 girls walking around pregnant. </p> <p>We also have many programs where we work with teen moms (where probably 60%) who do not have the father in the picture, and are living alone raising the child or with parents. We help them to get out of poverty in many cases and help them explore options to better their education to make a livable wage. I am not one to judge. Teen Pregnancy is definitely an issue that can be detrimental, but is it in all cases? No, it is not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242507 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:50:25 +0000 ms.line 2242507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: Eh, teen pregnancy is pretty detrimental. According to the U.S. Dept of HSS, teen moms are:</p> <p> "Less likely to finish high school;<br /> More likely to rely on public assistance;<br /> More likely to be poor as adults; and<br /> More likely to have children who have poorer educational, behavioral, and health outcomes over the course of their lives than do kids born to older parents."</p> <p>I went to a high school where teen pregnancy was so common we had a daycare on-site. And I feel pretty confident saying that while many of the girls were loving mothers, being teen moms was not "better" for them or their babies in any way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242506 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:49:27 +0000 jedeve 2242506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I didn't say I supported her parenting. I just think it would be nice to hold off on judging someone we don't even know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242504 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:39:49 +0000 matador84 2242504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had dozens of formers students who got pregnant while I was teaching them at 13/14/15 years old. Many of them made a bad choice but they have ended up being good moms. Is it hard? Absolutely! Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy even at 14 forces children who are often babies to grow up. Praying she finds wisdom to make good decisions for her future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242498 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:32:18 +0000 Truth Bombs 2242498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I didn't say she's a terrible parent because her daughter ended up pregnant. I said she's a terrible parent because she KNEW her 14 year old daughter was smoking, drinking, and partying and decided that she wants to "let her make her own decisions" instead of intervening and stopping this behavior. If you want to say "WTF" to my analysis of the situation as stated by the OP and support that type of parenting then you and I are unlikely to ever find any common ground so no need to discuss further. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242487 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:04:36 +0000 ms.line 2242487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellocupcake: I'm not really surprised, as I was sexually active at 14. My mom was definitely not thrilled about it, but she ensured I was in a loving, monogamous relationship and that I was both on the pill and had access to condoms. If I had gotten pregnant (which I was very conscientious about), I would have been gutted, but ultimately I knew I could go to my mom for help right away. Of course I don't know the whole situation, but I find it problematic that lil owl's SIL didn't step in sooner when her daughter was having substance abuse issues and engaging in unhealthy relationships (and ultimately not taking care of herself). This girl's pregnancy is just a symptom of some much deeper issues that go well beyond a "phase." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242483 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:00:14 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2242483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a sad and difficult situation. Hopefully they come around to the idea of adoption. Their difficulty could become another family's blessing. My thoughts and prayers are with the girl and family. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242480 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 21:50:24 +0000 hellocupcake 2242480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that this is off the OP's original topic, but you would be surprised at how many "good" girls are sexually active at that age. I worked as a substitute and had so many young girls (12/13?!) tell me about how sexually active they were. I would ask if their parents knew and they would just say "no?! My mom would kill me". Allowing your kids freedom isn't the problem. All of my friends were sexually active waaaaaay before me and I was at all the same parties hanging out with the same guys. </p> <p>I wouldn't know how to react since I'm not close to my inlaws, but I would definitely try to talk to the girl's mom and help her see that teen pregnancy isn't the end. I wish the family the best. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242465 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 21:13:31 +0000 jedeve 2242465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: WTF. The girl is 14. She can't legally consent to sexual intercourse anyway. Maybe the mom is terrible, maybe she is fantastic and there is more to the situation than you know about from a paragraph on the Internet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242422 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 20:12:53 +0000 catomd00 2242422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a Tough situation. It certainly isn't ideal but it doesn't have to be the end of the world either with love and support. I think it's pretty unfair to be calling your SIL a horrible parent. Teens will find a way to do what they want to do if they choose to regardless of what rules are or aren't in place. Most parents are doing what they think is best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242387 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 19:38:30 +0000 QBbride 2242387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds really rough but every baby deserves to be celebrated. Hopefully the family can find the best way to support the mother and baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242191 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:32:01 +0000 Mrs. Train 2242191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry it sounds like a really rough situation. I would say adoption is probably the best option but if they aren't really considering that then they probably just have to start figuring out who is responsible for raising it. it sounds like they aren't exactly the best example of a functioning relationship. This will no doubt put even more stress on them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242172 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:16:47 +0000 lil owl 2242172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: abortion is only legal till 12 weeks here and you have to go through counseling prior (so more like 10 weeks). </p> <p>i don't think they are considering adopption.</p> <p>SIL and BIL are fighting a lot about how to raise/treat children. DH is sure BIL would consider divorce because SIL doesn't allow him to get involved in raising "her" children at all, if they hadn't a 3year old son together.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242149 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:52:31 +0000 ms.line 2242149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it too late for her to have an abortion where you live? Giving birth really isn't very safe physically for a 14 year old, let alone the tremendous psychological impact. Poor thing, I hope she's able to find the help she needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242136 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:43:24 +0000 Crisark 2242136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh...I have a 12 1/2 yr old and the thought of her even considering sex at 14 makes me cringe. Not a good idea to allow 14yr olds to make their own decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242135 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:42:58 +0000 yoursilverlining 2242135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that poor girl. This is why parents like your SIL need to stop trying to be friends with their children and step up and be actual parents – 14 year olds are not in any way, shape or form equipped to be handling adult situations like drugs, drinking, sex, etc. She doesn’t have a childhood to enjoy anymore….though it sounds like she wasn’t enjoying a “childhood” before now either. Sad situation for both children involved. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242122 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:33:58 +0000 Truth Bombs 2242122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like your SIL is a terrible parent. Sorry, but letting her 14 year old daughter make her own decisions is obviously not working out very well. It's too late to undo the pregnancy but they need to step in and make sure she gets proper prenatal care, stops smoking, drinking, partying, etc. and help her make an educated decision regarding raising the baby or placing it for adoption. It's too late for this girl to "enjoy her childhood". I pray the baby is relatively healthy and they place it for adoption in a much better environment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/14-year-old-and-pregnant#post-2242104 Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:24:38 +0000 lil owl 2242104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DHs foster brothers 14 year old step daughter just found out she's 20 weeks pregnant. :shocked:<br /> She's going through a rebellious phase and partying with older guys, drinking and smoking heavily... which is causing a lot of tension between fosterBIL and his wife. (He wanted to treat her like a child and forbid this kind of behavior while SIL wanted her to make her own decisions). The baby will most likely not be healthy and SIL wants her daughter to still enjoy her childhood, whatever this means.<br /> We're all in shock. I don't really know how to react (I congratulated her, which was apparently not the right reaction....) </p> <p>no point in posting this. I'm just so shocked. </p>