https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Jul 2026 11:44:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300289 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 05:48:36 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2300289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the replies and advice. I really appreciate it, ladies. :) @Andrea: @arachna: @daniellemybelle: @Rockies11: @2littlepumpkins: @Nutella: @gingerbebe: @misolee: and anyone else I missed. Hard to tag on my phone! </p> <p>@BandDmommy: yep we do quite a few but none during the summer because there wasn't any offered. Hopefully this fall after doing them again he enjoys them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300286 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 05:37:09 +0000 Andrea 2300286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would pull him out since it's just one day, unless you want to up the days in order to help him adjust. I think it's very difficult for some kids and to be ok being dropped off for that one time per week. It should be easier when he's older.</p> <p>If you want some help, maybe a sitter in your home would be better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300258 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 01:53:03 +0000 arachna 2300258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would pull him out.</p> <p>My very social daughter had her separation anxiety kicked off by my one day attempt at a day care, haha. I think 18 months is actually potentially the worst timing because it's a common age for separation anxiety. </p> <p>Not a trace of that anxiety left at 21 months by the way. I just came back from a 5 day vacation in NYC with my husband while she stayed with my parents.</p> <p>I would pull him out, wait a couple months till things calmed down (he'll no longer be on the look out for you leaving him) then hire a regular babysitter for once or twice or three times a week for a couple of hours. After 2 days? of you being there while the babysitter engages him and plays with him he'll probably (no guarantee! but I think very very likely) will be fine with you leaving. The break is a great idea for you but if possible I think much better to do it in a way that works for him too.</p> <p>I think the number of kids that are good with preschool at 3 years old is much much much large than the number of kids that are good with day care at 3 months to 2 years. If there is no necessity I don't think it's a good idea to push him, his distress is very real. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300229 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 23:13:00 +0000 BandDmommy 2300229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: just curious, do you do parent/child classes? If he has never done those I can see where he could be overwhelmed. In that case, I think doing that first would be a good idea. He needs to learn its okay to be away from mommy and perhaps in a more supervised setting he would learn that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300213 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 22:32:45 +0000 daniellemybelle 2300213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First and foremost: You should make the choice that you think is best for your LO! These kinds of decisions are so hard and you'll get such varied opinions.</p> <p>Since you asked, though, personally I would not keep him in. This is based on my experience of really struggling with LO in part-time daycare for a year, from 10-20 months. She learned to like going thanks to really sweet teachers. We had a lot of trust in and love for the school and we miss them! But at the time we didn't have a choice - I had to work. </p> <p>We recently moved for my husband's job and I SAH with LO (23 months now). I'm sure part of it is just the age but I think she has absolutely blossomed from spending more time with me. Every kid is different but from my experience just with my own kid it's been great. Even though a lot of people (including HBers) thought I should find a part-time program for her here after we moved, I'm so glad we didn't! </p> <p>We do some kind of social activity every day together and she has shed a lot of her separation anxiety. She will go off and play with other kids now when just a few months ago she would cling to me terrified that I was about to leave her. Again, I think part of it is growing out of that stage, but I also think it has really helped her for me to be there to help navigate these situations. Oh, and I also think it has helped her be more flexible because we do different things and see different friends every day. Before she had a rigid routine (M/W- Grandma, T/Th- daycare, F/S/S- home) and because of her nature that just made her less adaptable in new situations.</p> <p>Having said alllll that, I would recommend not doing a one day per week program if you keep it up. LO was younger (10 months) when she started daycare but she was struggling with 2 days per week so we increased to 3 days temporarily to accelerate the adjustment.</p> <p>@chopsuey: That's encouraging to hear. We had a hard time with part-time daycare when LO was 10-20 months but we will try preschool again in the fall when she's almost 3. Hoping we don't have a repeat! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300198 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 22:01:56 +0000 Rockies11 2300198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Mine had extreme separation anxiety from about 18 months to right around 2 years old. Whenever I left her, she would get hysterical over the slightest separations - like being on different floors of our split level house. We did tons of parent participation stuff and gradually doing the same activities over and over again got her comfortable enough to stray away from me a little bit. Now we're in a compromise activity where I am doing a parenting class while she does a facilitated playgroup, and she's okay with the separation there. So I would pull him and do more parented activites until he's more comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300158 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 21:32:42 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2300158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: also just wanted to add that in our case we did parent participation classes as well as some with instructors and we just waited for class to be done and lo likes other kids and people.. None of that makes a difference for her separation anxiety. It is so frustrating because she is otherwise SO ready for the program. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300156 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 21:28:43 +0000 Nutella 2300156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: my LO is 19mo and I'm also full time SAH with him. For the most part, he is very carefree and independent, but we've recently started gym crèche for an hour a day (so I can sneak in a quick workout weekdays), and I've noticed the sudden separation anxiety starting too! First few weeks he just ran off without a worry, but now he clings and cries when I leave! I'm persisting for my mental health, but the difference is they tell me he stops a few minutes after I go, and has a ball! But I even find that tough - hate seeing him cry - so I feel your pain. I would probably try it again in a few months time?<br /> FWIW, I did also hear from local daycares that whole thing about 1 day/week not being enough for them to adjust. </p> <p>Sorry about the painful reminders too...hope you get your rainbow baby soon! ❤️❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300149 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 21:20:55 +0000 misolee 2300149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do what you think is best but for me I would keep my LO in. Separation anxiety is real but it's a good thing to interact and be around other kids and other authority figures (teachers). Plus, once LO understands that you will come back for him, it will make your life easier for any future babysitters and preschool options. </p> <p>If you do decide to keep him in, some advice is:<br /> Don't linger. Kiss him, hug him, tell him you'll be back soon, and turn around and leave. That's the hard part but it gets easier :wink: be consistent with it. He will get used to the routine and adjust in time. </p> <p>My LO was put in once a week preschool at 14 months. She didn't need to go but the opportunity was there and it worked out great. Now at 3, even with a new school and new teachers, she's fine by herself. Other friends little ones who've never been in any school settings are having the hardest time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300126 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 21:10:14 +0000 katsupgirl 2300126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd pull him especially because of the non-school related examples. I'd do a parent participation class and slowly give him space to interact without the pressure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300091 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:49:05 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2300091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice but I've heard 18m is a common time for that. We are just starting 3 days a week preschool at age 3 and it's tough on lo. Today was her 2nd day and she struggled more than day 1...and her brother is due in a couple weeks. I plan to work around jan/feb so I don't wanna pull her out but if we are not making progress after a few weeks I might even consider upping to five mornings or discussing with her teacher. I think your son will be ok whether you wait another year or maybe switch to a more frequent program, especially if you are ttc (?) now. I sure wish I had dealt with this not a couple weeks before my due date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300069 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:42:15 +0000 gingerbebe 2300069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son goes to church nursery once a week and the director told me that on average, it takes kids 6 weeks in the toddler room to adjust. He's now been 5 weeks and its still hard, but its getting better - its more like a spiral. He'll have a better day, then he goes back to being clingy and freaking out. So I would keep at it for a few more weeks at the very least until he doesn't have a complete negative association with school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300019 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:23:20 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2300019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: I seriously think it is traumatizing him too! Today I left to go to the bathroom while at my friends and he stood at the bathroom door crying until she calmed him down! He never does that. And I left to go out one night and he was with DH who is his BFF and he screamed for me while I left! </p> <p>Leaning towards trying next year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300018 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:22:19 +0000 birdofafeather 2300018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: my normally super friendly outgoing kid went through separation anxiety at that age. Honestly, I just kept at it and in a few months, she was back to her normal self. I know you don't "have to" use childcare but I hardly think one morning a week to yourself will harm him and chances are that he will grow to love it. If it went on like that for months, I might reconsider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300013 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:19:48 +0000 PinkElephant 2300013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've dealt with separation anxiety in both my 3 year old and 16 month old recently. With the three year old, I perservered (it was a drop off ballet class), because it was clear she liked the activity, she just wanted me to stay. I felt like she was mature enough to process that I was coming back, and to have a sense of time as to when I'd be back. The first few classes were rough, but now she's doing ballet and preschool and shoos me out the door at both.</p> <p>With my 16 month old, I gave up on daycare/play school at the backup care facility my husband's office provides unless it's absolutely necessary. Her behavior sounds just like your 18 month old, and I felt like I was traumatizing her (and that it'd only make future separations more difficult), because she really didn't understand. maybe you could do some sort of mommy and me class with DS instead for the time being for socialization, and wait a bit to try the drop off scenario again...if you find yourself needing time to yoyrself, maybe you'll meet some mom and baby pairs in a class that you could alternate drop-off play dates with... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2300003 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:12:35 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2300003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that one day a week is hard. But most kids in his class go one day and some go two. </p> <p>@chopsuey: my son is really social too which is why I thought he would love it. It breaks my heart leaving him when he could just be at home with me. </p> <p>@Greentea: thanks. I'm leaning towards pulling him out. I think next year when he is 2.5 and I can better explain that I'm coming back he will do better? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299983 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 20:02:15 +0000 Greentea 2299983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't keep him in.</p> <p>I think it is totally fine to pull him out. I think research shows it is good to be with a parent and forming attachments until 3 or 4. Try not to feel bad, it is okay to try something new. And now you know and can feel good about not keeping him in right now if you decide to go that route (?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299978 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:58:38 +0000 chopsuey 2299978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would pull him out and try again later. </p> <p>My DD is super social and outgoing, but 2 weeks into starting preschool (she was 2 at the time), she cried hysterically at drop off and clawed at me to hold her and to not leave. I'm a sahm and i just didn't have it in me to leave her.<br /> We tried again a year later and she loved and still loves school. She's 4 now and we get the occasional "I don't want to go to school.." But she always has fun and never cries at drop off.<br /> Good luck!</p> <p>Eta: oh. Just caught that it's once a week..we drop my son off at Sunday school once a week for an hour and he always cries at drop off, but stops after a few mins and is happy at pick up..<br /> When we first started dropping him off, he cried the entire time, so we took a break from it and took him into service with us. I think we took an 8 month break before we tried again </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299976 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:58:10 +0000 catomd00 2299976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep what @Bao said! Once a week is reallyyyyyy hard! When I wanted to drop DD to two days, every center I talked to recommended 3 days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299975 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:57:50 +0000 BandDmommy 2299975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: honestly, I think it will get worse if you wait longer. Separation anxiety gets worse the older they get. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299974 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:56:27 +0000 Bao 2299974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299973 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:55:37 +0000 MrsSRS 2299973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: ha! Typing the same answer at the same time :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299970 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:55:07 +0000 MrsSRS 2299970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS went through separation anxiety at 18 months but it passed. My guess is that your LO is having a hard time because it is so infrequent. For example, kids who start school 5 days a week usually adjust more quickly than those who start 2 days a week. No solutions here, but maybe give it time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299967 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:54:22 +0000 Bao 2299967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe give it another week or two....if it's just once a week maybe it's harder because there are so many days in-between... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-old-hates-toddler-preschool-wwyd#post-2299956 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 19:50:45 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2299956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could use some advice!</p> <p>My son is 18 months old and I stay home with him full time. We have no family in the area so he is always with me and DH. My mom has watched him a few times and my BFF watched him once. </p> <p>Our preschool has a toddler program for kids aged 18 months to 2.5 years. It is one morning a week for 2.5 hours. There is 10 kids and 2 teachers plus parent volunteers in the room. </p> <p>I thought he would love it. On the first day I dropped him off and he seemed fine. I picked him up and he was sobbing and they said he cried the whole time and didn't want to be touched. So he eventually lied down and fell asleep. (I spoke with the director because I was concerned that he was left alone to cry. She said she sat beside him and rubbed his back but he didn't want to be held). </p> <p>Second time I volunteered and he cried when we got there but was ok when I was there. I left to wash my hands once and he cried </p> <p>Third week. I stayed for an hour and a half and he was doing great so I said bye and left. He was crying but I thought they would be able to calm him down. He lied on the floor and every time they try to touch him, pick him up or interact he screams. :(</p> <p>I'm so upset. I feel guilty because he doesn't actually need to go, I just thought he would enjoy it and thought it would be nice to have one morning a week to myself. </p> <p>Also. I thought it would be good because I was pregnant with baby number two and it would be nice for him to have socialization outside of me and a newborn once the baby arrived.. I ended up miscarrying so I feel like that point is no longer valid. </p> <p>I'm leaning towards pulling him out. Every other kid in the class is either totally fine the entire time or cries for a few minutes and then has a blast. </p> <p>Would you yank your kid out and try again in a year? I feel like I've done something wrong that I can't leave him somewhere without me. Also I feel highly emotional about the issue because all along I've thought I would use these mornings for OB appointments and then baby time but now that's not what's going to happen. </p> <p>Any advice welcome :) </p>