https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 06:12:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412322 Sat, 24 Nov 2012 06:41:40 +0000 heffalump 412322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry.</p> <p>Both before and after I miscarried when I was pregnant my dh was very supportive and always worried about me..... but I have chronic migrains so he's used to playing that role and he's always taking care of me. Having a baby in my belly just made it a way bigger deal, especially after the mc because then he was taking care of me and our lo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412319 Sat, 24 Nov 2012 05:58:08 +0000 Cherrybee 412319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks so much for all the advice, everyone. I talked to DH properly last night, when he got in from the gym and was less wound up. </p> <p>It transpires that he thought my lying in bed last night was more self-imposed bed-rest because of the cramps the previous day. He didn't realise I was actually tired. The reason he was so very grumpy with me was, the previous morning, when I'd told him I was going to be working from home (with my laptop in bed) because I was scared of the cramps, he'd helpfully suggested that, as I was home, I could do some washing and take the car for some maintenance. I snapped at him quite badly "I'm home so I can rest in bed" and he had been angry about it for two days by all accounts! </p> <p>So hopefully, we've resolved this one.... He still wont be excited until he sees the heartbeat but we have a private scan in 3 weeks so fingers crossed everything goes well and we can start acting like normal people, instead of being haunted by what happened last time. I'm so ready for us to be over it now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412068 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:57:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 412068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Weird- we had our bfps like, days apart and I had really bad cramps during the night too! I feel fine now but was totally freaked out this morning.<br /> I haven't been quite in your situation because so far I feel fine, but I do know Dh doesn't really feel likes it's real until he sees it. We were having a bit of a disagreement on when to tell our family but he wants to wait until he sees it. I hope your Dh comes around quickly since you will need him, but I'm sure it just doesn't feel real to him yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412066 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:54:06 +0000 softcream 412066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm sorry you're going through this. you're totally allowed to be tired and rest when you need it.</p> <p>maybe it's because your dh feels like he doesn't know how to help you. men aren't ever pregnant, so it might be hard for them to understand that symptoms can be different from day to day, and differ among pregnancies. and since they don't know what to expect, they don't know how to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412060 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:49:46 +0000 immabeetoo 412060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We weren't in the same scenario and I have no complaints about him, but I do think it was easier to be sympathetic about me feeling sick, etc. once we'd seen the ultrasound heart beat and I started looking pregnant. I would guess in your scenario he's just taking some of his fears out on you about a possible miscarriage again, which sucks :( Hope you can talk it out and support one another until you bring baby home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-412041 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:27:28 +0000 glimmersnaps 412041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I'm glad to hear that your fears didn't materialize! </p> <p>DH is pretty good and helpful. Sometimes he can be less so and slightly complain of being tired or wanting me to cook. I think for most men they really don't *get* that you're going to have a baby until the ultrasound/you start showing/they can feel the kicks. When we were on the way back from the u/s for DS was the first time he would start talking about cribs and baby stuff. Before it was just some abstract idea. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411722 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:33:19 +0000 sea_bass 411722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No my DH hasnt behaved like that. I also think he could be a saint. We have had a very difficult 10 weeks in and out of hospital multiple times and he has been an amazing support. I told him at the start that his job was to support me, which he has done wonderfully.</p> <p> However, whenever I have had a reprieve I have made sure to make him feel special by baking his favourite bread or cake or making a batch of home made ice-cream. In short, when I'm well, he knows about it. He knows I'm not taking the piss, and actually go all out to do as much as I can when I'm feeling well, or at least not feeling like I'm about to die! </p> <p>Good luck, you'll navigate through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411690 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:07:16 +0000 blackbird 411690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw he's just really nervous. Mine was like this a little bit, too-although so was I. You won't be "like this" for all 9 months-you'll have good days and bad days, too. Nobody likes when their partner is 100% out of commission </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411689 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:06:22 +0000 MamaMoose 411689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. That would really upset me. My hubs has been really great. I had morning sickness until 20 weeks and then got put on modified bed rest from 26 weeks to 36 weeks and now I'm just too huge and uncomfortable to function. So hubs got one 6 week break where I felt ok and other than that he did soooo much work around the house. If it weren't for him some days I wouldn't have been able to even get out of bed never mind eat, shower, or take care of myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411673 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:50:45 +0000 autumnlove 411673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! DH was really supportive but 4 of his coworkers were pregnant around the same time and some complained about their unsupportive SOs so I think it was good training for him.</p> <p>You are definitely allowed to be tired! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411672 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:49:32 +0000 knittylady 411672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we got our BFP after our m/c I noticed a big difference in DH. I couldn't call his name for anything because he would rush in thinking I was spotting or bleeding. He was very anxious for a long time. Even now, at 12 weeks I have to be careful not to scare him. It's weird but in a way it's been helpful. I've been scared too! My m.o. though is to voice every concern I have every single time, and I think that leads to more anxiety for me. so a silver lining in having to be more careful not to freak out DH is that I've been freaking MYSELF out less. does that make sense?</p> <p>I think it's hard for them to talk about, or even recognize how traumatised they are after mc's. The best thing for DH was talking to other men about their experience. It's tough, women get a lot of sympathy for it and the men tend to act as caretakers directly after and have no time to really go through it themselves...</p> <p>all that being said, he better get ok with you being laid out! I had ms from sun up to sun down and couldn't help around the house at all. It was a source of tension for us, but we had to just talk it out, and honestly I could NOT do domestic stuff feeling the way I did!</p> <p>/end novel </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/1st-trimester-how-did-dads-feel-about-pregnancy-symptoms#post-411641 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:07:39 +0000 Cherrybee 411641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Were they super-supportive? Or did they resent it a little bit? Did they think you were putting it on? </p> <p>You see, DH and I just had words... I want to understand and support him but I'm also feeling pretty hard done to... </p> <p>Yesterday, I had nasty cramps (I'm 4+2 today) and I was terrified something was going wrong. Today, the cramps have eased up but in their place is extreme tiredness and a ravishing hunger that makes me feel queasy if I don't eat, like, constantly. Honestly, I'm delighted! But it's pretty exhausting being at work all day feeling like this! </p> <p>So, when I came in from work, I lay on the bed. Long story short, DH came in and was really grumpy After a mini-rant about all the things that were making him grumpy (he's tired because he had a cold two weeks ago, his feet hurt from his medical condition, he's behind on his uni work, we've not been to the gym much this week) he finally came out with it "I guess what's bothering me is I'm scared you're going to be like this for the next 9 months". I asked "Like what" and he replied "Tired all the time and being a drama queen". </p> <p>I am a drama queen, we all know that, but surely I'm allowed to be tired?? </p> <p>I then asked him why he doesn't seem to be excited about the pregnancy. He's not - he hardly reacted when I told him the news and whenever I try to talk to him about it, he switches off (and plays with his phone, usually). He said that he's not going to let himself get excited until he's 100% sure we're having a take home baby because he was so cut up about our m/c. </p> <p>I get it, I get that he's worried - so am I - but I'm also really happy and I want him to be, too. I get that he doesn't want to get excited too soon but I am- and I'm scared and I'm having crazy symptoms and I need my partner-in-crime to be there with me, every step of the way. And I'm sorry but I do feel tired today - and a little bit sick (hungry, tired sick not ms - that's to come!).</p> <p>I've had a little cry to myself (while he's at the gym) and now I'm trying to be reasonable and to understand how he must be feeling. Did anyone here go through this?? </p>