https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 02:03:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2814659 Thu, 05 Apr 2018 21:26:23 +0000 MrsGeePerez 2814659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 2.5 too. And extremely intense. It is so hard not to feel like an awful parent with a child that has explosive, violent and long winded tantrums like this. I’m sorry I don’t have advice, just know that it will eventually ease up (I guess at least until 3.5 - at this point I 100% agree the half birthdays are the low points). </p> <p>My grandmother had seven children. My great grandmother was one of fourteen. How can only one be this impossible? Sending peace and calming vibes to you and your little guy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813997 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 13:01:41 +0000 nwm 2813997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>just echoing what some prior posters have suggested, with the massive caveat that it sounds like we are way worse than you--we do not have a strict bedtime routine, and are not very strict with bedtime. that said, DS (25 mos) has been really pretty great at bedtime for a long time, until recently. at first we were coping with some screen time to wind him down, but then found that magnified the tantrums and delayed them til he was more tired. now what seems to be working better is a step-down, where we leave him with the light on and a book or books for a few minutes and then promise to come back. just giving him that five minute time really seems to help, where before it saying "it's bedtime" prompted screaming, after it saying "it's bedtime" he responds "ok." </p> <p>i'm 28 weeks pregnant and think this could also be related, and also am expecting the behavior to ramp up in the next couple of weeks/months, but for now this solution appears mostly to be working for us.</p> <p>you are doing great!!! the escalation in tantrums has definitely been hard for us to handle but i just try to remember it's totally normal and i'm glad he gets all those feelings out instead of bottling them (mostly ha)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813970 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 11:39:08 +0000 MACSUNSHINE 2813970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar to @sweetpie I use the "I have to go fold laundry or check on the dog, I will come to give you a kiss in a bit, night night I love you" and leave the door cracked open (we usually close it). Initially when we started this, I would come back within minutes, now I space it out and just check him on the monitor. This has worked wonders in less than a week since we started it, he is more confident we are returning and comfortable. Last night he was sound asleep before I even got back in.</p> <p>I am sorry you are dealing with this. They are so challenging but you are doing awesome! It does sound like he is over tired which is not helping anything. Some of the idea above may help just get through this tough patch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813916 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 10:19:13 +0000 SweetiePie 2813916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: yes agree with everything here too. If my son is messing around or crying through a book I keep reading. I say ONE time “I’m only reading this once and if you miss it that’s too bad”. Often if he won’t even pick a book I just grab one and begin reading it away from him. And he then wants to see and hear so he calms down and comes over to me or it snaps him out of it and he says “no I wanted this book”. All of this really helps us. </p> <p>Oh another thing I do if he’s procrastinating or being a jerk is I say I’ll count to 3 and if he doesn’t do xyz he loses a book (he normally gets 2). Trick is you have to follow through the first time, otherwise it’s an idle threat. So the first time could be brutal when he realizes you were serious, but that’s when it becomes effective goin forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813914 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 10:15:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2813914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: agree with your last post. I’m usually a stickler for bedtime routine but if he is super over tired it sounds like you might need to tweak. We had to do that around the same age. And btw 2.5 was brutal for us. So you’re not alone.<br /> Straight upstairs after daycare and into bath. Make it super fast. PJs on. Maybe even have him pick the books then that you’ll go back to and read later.<br /> Dinner I would do super freaking easy for just him for a while - pbj, cheese crackers lunch meat. Leftovers. Frozen meatballs or nuggets you can nuke. Things you’d maybe do for lunch or when there’s a sitter (or for me, every night because I don’t cook. Hahaha).<br /> Sounds like you’re already doing timers but I would continue that because if this is just a phase, the timer is a tool I’d want to continue to utilize.<br /> After dinner right upstairs to bed. And maybe make it fun. I’ve started making things my son says he doesn’t want to do into a race. Works. Every. Time. Doesn’t want to pee before bed? Ok let’s have a pee race and see who can get their pee to the potty faster. Literally we do this once a day, obviously he always wins and I pretend I just can’t get my pants down faster than him 🙄 so silly but it works. Could race to his room from dinner. Could race to bed for books. Etc. </p> <p>Another thing I actually got from @foodnerd81: a while back (I think) is to tell him I’ll come back for one last hug and kiss. So if he’s refusing to let me leave or crying I tell him I’ll come back in 5 mins for one last hug and kiss. I then go out and clean kitchen a little or just mess on my phone. Then I go back in after a reasonable amount of time and he’s calm because he’s expecting me. Sometimes he’s awake and glad for me to be back but sometimes he falls asleep while waiting for me (like if I forgot to go in and realized it 15 mins later...oops). </p> <p>Good luck and I agree with a PP that even if you need to tweak the routine, still keep that consistent and show him that bedtime isn’t negotiable. I know it’s hard to not negotiate when you’re tired and fried and just want them to go the f to sleep (I was also very pregnant recently with a 3yo and its brutal) But I promise that holding strong and being consistent will pay off in the end. 2.5 is def an age where they begin testing boundaries and if he sees that he is getting results it could continue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813906 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 10:00:06 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2813906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I would get a door monkey and leave him alone in his room after his bedtime routine is done. If he cries through the books, power through. Tell him goodnight, you love him, and will see him in the morning. If he gets out of bed and sleeps on the floor, it is ok. If you absolutely can’t leave him then after his routine lay him down. Every time he sits up lay him back down. Don’t make eye contact or say anything.</p> <p>I’m having to do the second suggestion right now. My family is in between homes and we are all sharing a room. DD doesn’t do well sharing and doesn’t want to go to sleep. It’s been tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813893 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:48:03 +0000 MrsADS 2813893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbucky thank you, and you're SO right :heart: I get so overwhelmed and frustrated and feeling so hopeless. I have decided tonight I am going to do our routine, stick to my guns about leaving the lights off/telling him it's bedtime (i.e. no more books, etc) and just sitting with him while he cries and screams. Which is so hard. And I am going to try to get to the turning the lights off point in the bedtime routine quite a bit earlier, so if he cries for an hour, he's not up so late. I just hope this is a phase and it will pass, it is really rough on me. </p> <p>@lbee good suggestions! We already have everything pretty streamlined and very quick (I just reheat stuff for dinner) because he's really tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813890 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:44:34 +0000 LBee 2813890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: totally changed my response. I had an idea! Maybe dumb, but why not try it. I think you need to make bedtime routine really short (just reading and then bed) and do everything else on the front end immediately upon going home. He sounds too tired for any semblance of a routine. I would also just streamline dinner for awhile to be what you ate the night before as leftovers and him eating on his own (assuming you cook) with you at the table. For a long time we ate after our son was in bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813885 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:43:15 +0000 MrsBucky 2813885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I know it’s hard, but it might help the most to reframe how you think of his freak outs. I know it’s hard. So so hard. I hate when my son Seems like he is hurting. But having those levels of feelings when he is overtired (which you can’t control right now!) is normal. It isn’t your fault! There is nothing wrong with him! If you feel better sitting with him , do that. But try to think of it as him trusting you with the hardest, rawest feelings he has- and that is healthy. And by not panicking or perceiving it as bad or something to be fixed, you can show him those feelings are ok, and that he is safe and will be ok. I know it’s so much easier said than done. I really do, and I’m so not perfect at it. But have a mantra you repeat over and over till he is done- and know it will get better, eventually. I’m sending the biggest hugs and good thoughts your way! You can do it!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813883 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:42:11 +0000 MrsADS 2813883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lbee yeah, I'm out of ideas too. It sucks. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813882 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:41:27 +0000 LBee 2813882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: hmm... I'm out of brilliant ideas. If it were my kid, I'd make it where the moment we walk in the door we march up to his room and prepare for bed. I'd then have him eat dinner in one of those smock type bibs and after dinner we'd go upstairs, read books (unless he was in hysterics, then books were over), and say goodnight. It sounds like he thinks he's calling the bedtime shots. A few nights of him realizing that bedtime is non negotiable and maybe he will calm down. Then you slowly start moving it back to normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813877 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:34:57 +0000 MrsADS 2813877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lbee see he's often hysterical just having to go upstairs to start the bedtime routine so we're already way past the point of him being calm to pick out books. Like we have to physically carry him up because he's screaming. We actually have a child doorknob handle on the inside of his door b/c he would otherwise never stay in his room during his tantrum - he wants to leave his room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813866 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:21:14 +0000 LBee 2813866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: My son does the same thing. Part of his routine is to select 6 books before bath - 3 are for us to read (put on his bedside table) and 3 are for him to read when we leave (put on his bed at the end). I would create a plan, maybe draw it out, and try to have your son make decisions BEFORE he gets in hysterics. In my limited experience with 1 child, when we start calling audibles we have trouble because our son starts thinking things are up in the air / able to control. We do not delineate from 3 books. Ever. </p> <p>If he gets hysterical, we leave. It sounds hurtful, but I always joke that I "don't negotiate with terrorists" - if my child is out of control I know that 100% me being there will further feed into it and make things last longer. I just tell him that it looks like my presence is really upsetting him so I'm going to leave and that he knows where my room is if he needs me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813864 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:09:59 +0000 MrsADS 2813864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lbee thank you so much for the suggestions. I think I would feel better if we had a plan. It's just hard to think straight. </p> <p>I like some of your ideas but it's like my son gets so worked up he can't think rationally. Like we'll tell him we will read a book and he will spend 5 minutes not picking a book and crying/whining about where he wants us to sit or whatever (in a very bossy/controlling phase as well) and won't pick a book. If we suggest one he starts crying and falling apart. So it's like he can't even handle the choices. If we pick a book he starts screaming. So at that point, we've been saying ok, you have one minute to pick your book, if you don't, we're going to turn off the light. Inevitably he won't pick a book, and we turn out the light and that's when he REALLY gets hysterical. And it lasts foreverrrrr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813861 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 09:01:24 +0000 LBee 2813861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son went through this at that age. We bought him a night light which helped. What ultimately fixed the issue was giving him some control of his bedtime destiny (that sounds absurd, I realize). After books and prayers, we asked him if he wanted lights out or to read on his own for x minutes (used to be 10 now he's allowed up to 30 minutes). We would leave his bedside table lamp on and then tell him we'd come in when it's "lights out." About 50% of the time he fell asleep reading on his own or turned out the light himself. I don't know your kid's personality, so feel free to ignore this idea. The rule was also that he had to stay in his bed if he wanted this "big boy privilege." We also got a nightlight that has the option of choosing colors and we allow him to pick which color he wants every night - he also makes the call on what pajamas (if any) he wants to wear. Typing this out it sounds like he's calling the shots, but we've found that empowering him about his bedtime routine really helps. If it hadn't worked I planned to print out a sheet that had his bedtime routine on it and we'd check off each item. For my son, he was often over tired at bedtime and really craved structure and a sense of control. </p> <p>Other things we considered:<br /> - Using an old iPod to play Pandora music until he fell asleep (he does this sometimes for nap)<br /> - Turning his lamp into a touch lamp (we ended up teaching him how to turn his lamp on himself)<br /> - Dropping nap so he was exhausted (we ultimately limited nap)<br /> - Laying with him until he fell asleep (decided against as it just wasn't right for our family) </p> <p>I know it's easier said than done, but he feeds off your anxiety. Just have a plan and try not to waive. It's similar to CIO (although so much harder once they can talk) - he's looking to see how you respond and what works. Once I stopped thinking of my son as a victim in the situation ("it's molar pain" or "he's lonely bc I work full-time") and realized he was manipulating me to try to get what he wanted, I was able to disassociate a little and just remind myself that in our household we go to sleep like big kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2813850 Tue, 03 Apr 2018 08:25:59 +0000 MrsADS 2813850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all - thanks for all your replies, sorry it's been a week. Things are much worse now unfortunately. We think it's a combination of separation anxiety/afraid of the dark/just a weird phase/realizing that new baby is coming?? I'm not sure. </p> <p>Last night, we did our bedtime routine, and when I turned the light off, he FREAKED OUT. He cried and screamed for AN HOUR - completely inconsolable and out of control- before we got him to bed. Most of that time he was crying "turn the light on! I want to read another book!" Over and over and over again. He would not let us touch him or calm him down, if I tried to pick him up he went ballistic. We tried turning the light back on to read another book. He wouldn't pick a book, didn't want us to read to him, more crying, more stalling, so we gave up on that. </p> <p>We tried telling him okay, if you don't want to read, it's bedtime, do you want me to rock you in the chair and sing Jesus Loves Me? (our bedtime routine). He would scream no and freak out. So we would say okay, we are going to give you night night hugs and leave. We left and then he became even more hysterical, slamming his body against the door, choking, and screaming "Mommy come back! I need you!" Over and over again. I know he is exhausted because he would stop and yawn and then start screaming again. </p> <p>So eventually we just sat in the dark with him while he cried and completely melted down and eventually he asked me to hold him and sing our night night songs. But it took an hour. AN HOUR of him completely out of control and inconsolable. </p> <p>I literally do not know what to do. I feel like leaving him in his room is cruel and he is going to choke or start throwing up from being so upset if I leave. I guess at this point my plan is just to sit in the room with him in the dark, don't interact with him, until he calms down and will go to bed.</p> <p>I have to do bedtime solo tonight and Thursday and I'm already dreading it. I have just cried my eyes out in frustration several times since last night. I am having our second baby in May and I don't know what I am going to do. I am so depressed. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812559 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:39:01 +0000 Dahlia 2812559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: That makes a lot of sense. I've heard kids save all their trouble for home :) </p> <p>How much time does he have at home between school and bedtime? What does he do during that time? Is there any way to pick him up a bit earlier so he can decompress?</p> <p>Also, I saw your post about the two minute video. DH started letting DD watch a 5 minute video in her bed each night as the last part of the routine. It's just a little nursery rhyme compilation. I don't love that she gets screen time each night and right before bed, but it has made bedtime 10000% easier so I'm letting it go. She races through the other steps so she can watch her video. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812554 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:35:26 +0000 Becky 2812554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: The being a model citizen at daycare could really be the issue. What time do you get home? Because bedtime is so early it’s possible he feels like you aren’t getting enough time together. This created significant behavior problems with DD1 so I started leaving any cleaning up until she was asleep. Like your son she was so good during the day but would completely fall apart at home. Focusing on her in the evening really helped, and I’ve found since then that she really needs a lot of hugging and cuddling. (And so did the Mr. Rogers, and once things calmed down we were able to remove it from the routine with no problem.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812545 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:25:01 +0000 gingerbebe 2812545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: We had the same with our son - he was a model citizen at school but a complete nightmare at home. One other thing I remember was that we let him have very long baths at that age and we got him bath crayons. He could sit there and make a nightmare mural on the bathtub and sit in a bubble bath for like 45 minutes or whatever while we played his favorite music and even though he was angry when we pulled him out, I think just having that decompression time semi-alone and quiet helped him unwind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812544 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:23:15 +0000 gingerbebe 2812544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a tough age. I actually think for some reason, half birthdays always bring some awful regression. 6 months, 18 months, 2.5, and now 3.5 have been brutal for me with our eldest. He is a high-strung, easily over stimulated kid who is tenacious and annoying at times, but NEEDS his sleep in order to not be a huge asshole. His brain literally can't shut off unless he's forced to sleep and actually has higher sleep needs than our youngest child, he just doesn't realize it.</p> <p>Our youngest is content even if he's tired and will gladly go to sleep when he's had enough - in fact, he will bring you his sleep bag and be like NIGHT NIGHT!!</p> <p>Anyways, just wanted to say it was like that for a while. I wanna say at that age, we would put him to sleep at his regular bedtime, but he would stay up POUNDING AND KICKING his crib headboard and just yelling to himself for maybe 90 minutes or more every night? Like, it was enough that we put it in his baby sitter's notes when we went out on a date - like "S will pound his crib for up to 2 hours. He is fine. Leave him alone." AND our son was speech delayed, so he didn't even have words - he would just scream and growl and pant and yell random sounds. </p> <p>Its a regression. He also fought naps at this time. You just power through because its not a matter of bad parenting and its not anything you are doing wrong, its just developmentally normal, but his intense personality is magnifying it that much more. </p> <p>One thing that helped us for a while was to remove steps in the bedtime routine. So he would have bath, PJs, and then we'd go straight into his room and shut the door. Instead of books, we'd lay him in his bed in the dark and just sing to him or talk to him in a low voice for a while. This actually took longer than our old routine of books and what not, but it sorta got him to relax into the dark and comfort of his bed somewhat while we snuggled him and gave him hugs and what not. He would still fuss and cry when we left, but it was a little less painful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812528 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 10:43:18 +0000 MrsADS 2812528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodnerd81 thanks, my son has a similar type of personality (very intense), so some of it is due to that, I think - I know people who have more laid back/easygoing kids and they don't deal with this to the extent I do. I am assuming it is going to get worse with baby brother's arrival before it gets better :bummed: </p> <p>@dahlia that's an interesting idea. Usually he wakes up about 6:30-6:40 so I don't think bedtime is too early. He needs a lot of sleep and after a full stimulating day of daycare with minimal to no nap (he just won't sleep there, too much going on!), I can tell as soon as he walks through the door that he's just shot.</p> <p>Interestingly, at daycare he never cries or has a tantrum or gets upset about ANYTHING. The teachers absolutely love him, they say he is so happy, talking, singing, very high energy all day long. I think some of this is that at daycare, he is on his "best behavior" and really holding it together all day long, and when he comes home and he's "safe", he just falls apart. I have talked to his teachers and they can't even believe he has tantrums at home because he never gets upset at school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812506 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 09:52:53 +0000 Dahlia 2812506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2.5 year old has been a pain lately, too. Are you sure he doesn't need to go to bed later, though? What time does he wake up? </p> <p>DD wakes up around 7 every morning and if she naps won't go to bed until at least 9. She fights hysterically if we try before that. She hasn't napped at all for the last 10 days or so and now she's sleeping 8 to 8 and suddenly going down really easily. </p> <p>Other than that, no advice, just solidarity. Although we're having more middle of the night troubles than anything else right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812469 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 08:18:43 +0000 Foodnerd81 2812469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I don’t have any advice but my daughter went through a similar phase before I had my second. I do think it was anxiety about the big change coming up, on top of a high strung personality. She’s still high strung (this morning was pretty terrible) but it did peak around the second ones birth. Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812463 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 07:36:05 +0000 MrsADS 2812463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all - I really appreciate the feedback and just feeling like I am not the only one who has dealt with this. Sometimes it feels like I am. The tantrums are worse other times as well (see this morning: having to get in the car to leave the house, it took 2 of us to buckle him into his carseat while he was screaming and kicking and totally out of control). It's just horrible.</p> <p>@mrsbucky talking about it in the morning is a good idea. He's definitely verbal enough. Can't hurt to try. I also think he is realizing that a big change is coming and this may be acting out/freaking out as a result of that. I had to leave him in his (babyproofed) room last night for about 2 minutes while he was melting down while I went downstairs to get something, and the whole time, he literally threw his body at the door over and over again while screaming so hard he was barely breathing. </p> <p>@gotkimchi bedtime, I aim for 6:30, but maybe it needs to be earlier. We try to be super consistent but it doesn't seem to help.</p> <p>@becky he's in a toddler bed because he climbed out of his crib :bummed: Last night I did let him watch a 2 min video on my phone because that was the only way I could get him to calm down and get him in bed. I really don't like making a habit out of it (the more videos/screen time we do, the crazier it seems to make him) but I was at my wit's end and without any other adults to help, I had to do something. He would pee through a pull-up, he's a really heavy wetter. I'm not a fan of dodging kicks at my belly, but IDK what else to do. I told my husband I am going to go into labor because of this.</p> <p>@shootingstar thank you :heart: Yes if I'm solo with him, I do a little more screen time because I just can't manage it. He gets really sucked in so I try not to make it a habit. I hope it will get better soon.</p> <p>@annabelleg thank you! His pediatrician also suggested trying an even earlier bedtime - like 6pm. It seems a little crazy but I guess it can't hurt to try. He is obviously exhausted when he gets home at 4:45-5pm so he's tired enough to go to bed that early.</p> <p>@kemma maybe a chart would help, can't hurt to try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812455 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 02:00:07 +0000 Kemma 2812455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice except to ask if your wee one gets plenty of outside time and physical play? My kids always seem to behave better when they’ve spent heaps of time outside running around and burning off the energy.</p> <p>My other thought is to maybe try some sort of visual chart of the bedtime routine or try not giving him notice of all the transitions, perhaps he’d do better if it all just happened?</p> <p>Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812453 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 00:10:21 +0000 macintosh 2812453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m sorry, that sounds so tough. I truly would just try to remain as calm as you can and execute the steps needed to get him in bed. When my DS is acting wild before bed I will skip any books or songs and just tell him I’m leaving and say goodnight. He’ll eventually go lay down and ask me to stay because I’m no longer giving attention to the wild behavior. I’ve also found that the only way to deal with an inevitable tantrum right now get it over with. I know he’s going to scream and cry if I take his tablet, so I give a warning and I try not to waffle. He’ll protest for a minute and give up.</p> <p>I think if I were you I’d get him up stairs, then maybe give him a minute alone in his room if he’s freaking out. Then you can come in and comfort him (hopefully) and carry on. Also, melatonin :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812445 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 22:29:14 +0000 AnnabelleG 2812445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my gosh, I really feel you. Most importantly, you sounds like a wonderful mother! And I love the part about "I've read Janet Lansbury," because that's totally where my mind goes. But it's true, in the moment it's often way too hard to be the calm, confident captain of the ship or whatever. I swear, I haven't felt so bad about myself as I did around my kid's bedtime struggle, so much guilt about not being able to handle it! But actually, sometimes crying your eyes out is handling it. It's just really, really hard. I wonder about whether an even earlier (5:30 or 6) bedtime would be helpful or even possible for a little bit. It sounds nuts, but if he's overtired...</p> <p>My kid didn't melt down like that, but he just wouldn't stay in bed for anything. We'd finally both melt down because I'd be so frustrated. I eventually gave him his crib back (he'd transitioned out around 2.5 and he got it back until after 3) and that helped for a while. Then it started again (an hour of popping out of bed every night). Now a little bed tent works to keep him in bed, he really likes how cozy it is. </p> <p>This is definitely a phase, just hang in there! It will get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812421 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 20:44:33 +0000 ShootingStar 2812421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I’ve blocked much of DS’s horrid behavior at that age. I do remember that it got so bad that DH had to take over in the mornings. For the first 2.5 years of his life I got DS ready on the morning after DH had already left. But then I got pregnant and I couldn’t handle the physical fights to get him dressed and diaper changed. </p> <p>I’ll be honest and say the most effective solution for me was bribery with screen time. That may not literally be your best option, it maybe you could entice better behavior with some reward. </p> <p>Also, this is totally a phase. I know when you’re in a phase it seems endless. But for us at least, much of the meltdowns and physical resistance to getting changed was gone by 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812420 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 20:35:23 +0000 wrkbrk 2812420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I’m quite sure this isn’t good advice but what I would do is wait him out for maybe a week. Let him play and play until he’s super exhausted and clearly won’t put up a fight going upstairs to bed. Then maybe when he realizes it won’t be a battle anymore you can sneak the time back down to his regular bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bedtime-tantrums#post-2812419 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 20:28:50 +0000 Mama Bird 2812419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, DS dealt with that and it's terrible! Is it possible for you to make bedtime earlier? Can you do some routine that helps him wind down, like reading? I'd do that after bath time - DS always got horribly wound up by bath time because I had to fight and fight with him to get him to put down his toys, brush his teeth, etc.</p> <p>Also is there any screen time before bed? That was the absolute worst thing and caused the most meltdowns. Funny, buthe can watch TV before bed no problem now (as long as it's short and part of the routine), and so can his little sister who's 2.5 now. But when DS was that age, he could not handle it. </p>