https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 09:37:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276137 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 15:31:02 +0000 regberadaisy 2276137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe you need to model sharing at home more often? Exaggerate it when you and DH share with each other. Make her share toys, etc with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276123 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 15:21:25 +0000 lady grey 2276123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: our towns must be so different because I feel like everyone hovers around their kids here on the playground! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276093 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 14:53:21 +0000 daniellemybelle 2276093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: You are super mom! :) Thanks for the tips - I will try that!</p> <p>@looch: What do you mean by that?</p> <p>@mrsrugbee: Glad my kid is not the only jerk! :silly: That is totally been my approach too, but after this thread I think I need to try to be more proactive about enforcing turn taking.</p> <p>@jedeve: That's a good point. I say, "That's for sharing," but I think I will try your approach!</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: Good to know!</p> <p>@edelweiss: Who knows. Possibly. Where we lived before, LO was shy and clingy in new environments. Since we moved, I'm SAH now and we've started going different places every day together, she has opened up a lot and will go run &amp; play without needing warm-up like she used to. So, that's good, but now it's like we've swung too far in the opposite direction in terms of her confidence!</p> <p>@avivoca: So glad we aren't alone! &lt;3</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: We are going to watch that episode when LO gets up from her nap! Thanks!</p> <p>@lady grey: I need to do better about that. I feel like it is almost weird to other parents because none of them do that? They just kind of send the kids out there. But I do think it helps her to meet the other kids! The play dates where she learns the kids' names, she will sometimes holler to them to watch her do something, which is definitely better than bullying. So that's a good idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276060 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 14:24:28 +0000 lady grey 2276060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son did exactly this at 2 years old. I just kept explaining that all they kids get to play at the playground and we share, etc. At 27 months he still has trouble sharing toys but doesn't yell "no" to others like he did before. One thing that helped my LO was encouraging thim to say hello to the other kids. I think he felt threatened or something by all these new people around him, so if I got him to say hi and maybe learn their name he seemed more comfortable and less possestive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276030 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 13:53:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 2276030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: ice been working with my two year old for a while on taking turns and all that jazz, including watching and talking about the Daniel Tiger sharing episode (I've said "first you take a turn, then you get it back" about 6000 times). </p> <p>The outcome? She understands taking turns well enough to stop and say "No take a turn!!" anytime she sees another kid using her favorite things (whether it's the swing, slide, or a toy we brought to the park). Ah toddlers. </p> <p>Some kids I see do have a harder time sharing than others, and usually the mom of the kid who is having a harder time does more active "ok billy is going to play with this for two minutes, then it's your turn again" type intervention. I have never thought any of the other parents thought it was odd. Sometimes my kid is the good sharer. Sometimes she's the troll. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2276016 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 13:41:14 +0000 avivoca 2276016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>H is the same way. We're working on it. I've got nothing to add other than support because I know how it is and it's frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275930 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:56:25 +0000 edelweiss 2275930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think it's developmentally normal for kids to go through a phase like this, although i know that doesn't necessarily help you in the moment! also, you mentioned that you had just moved. i'm wondering if your LO is feeling a bit out of sorts and her "no"s are a way of getting a sense of control (i think i've read one too many parenting books). there was a child in LO's daycare who screamed no when anyone even walked into the room, and it was right around the time his mom was heavily pregnant with her second.</p> <p>i say keep doing what you're doing in terms of reminding LO that it's okay for others to play and that playgrounds are for sharing, but don't think that something is "wrong" with your LO or you. i imagine she'll grow out of it soon--maybe until then you could limit playground/playdate time (although that's not a whole lotta fun either).</p> <p>hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275910 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:24:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2275910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't use the concept of sharing at this age. I just would say "everyone goes on/in that." If she wouldn't move I would say "can you move all by yourself or should I pick you up?" And if that results in a tantrum so be it. </p> <p>As far as social interactions I do think it's normal. My daughter didn't start really being interested in the other kids at the park until more like 2.5, and even at almost 3 she plays alone a lot, climbing and hanging on stuff and what not, just depending on what age kids are at the park. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275849 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:18:47 +0000 jedeve 2275849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally spitballing here, but do you think telling her to share/take turns might reinforce that to hers and she is in control? Sometimes when mine gets into a mine phase at the playground or library, I will remind him, "it is not yours, it is the playground's/library's. It is for everyone." I've even done it at home when he is being a bear, lol. "They are not your toys. They are mine and I am letting you play with them." (Usually I just say they are "brother toys.") </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275828 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:05:24 +0000 mrsrugbee 2275828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do we have the same kid? My 19 mo daughter has been doing this to all her friends the past two weeks. I always correct her and the other moms get it, but: Jeez, L, stop being a jerk!!!</p> <p>My usual approach is to let her do her thing from affar but if she's not playing nice, I intervene and enforce first come, first serve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275812 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:50:29 +0000 looch 2275812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried using the "different kids play with toys in different ways " approach? It helped my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275793 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:38:55 +0000 Rockies11 2275793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I agree with @hilsy85: - at this age taking turns makes more sense to them than sharing. My 2 year old seems to think that sharing is just another kid taking something away FOREVER, but she understands them playing for a bit, and then her playing for a bit when it comes to toys. And I redirect while she's waiting. With playground equipment, I do a really enthusiastic "the slide is for everyone! let's take turns!" when she's sprawled across the top blocking everyone and screaming. and then I narrate what we do with the slide like a crazy person - "we slide down, weeeeeeeee! Then we look up and see there are more kids at the top who want to have a turn! So we RUN back up the stairs! And we wait in line for our turn! And then we slide down! Weeeeeeee!" repeat x1000. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275779 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:28:21 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: LOL - yes, the emotional trauma is very real to them at this age. I try to not laugh because I want to be Serious Mom in the Teachable Moment. But it sure is hard! Occasionally I will get an understanding smile but parents can be weird.</p> <p>@.twist.: That's very sweet though still hard! LO would gladly trade me for a sweet set of train tracks any day, I'm sure.</p> <p>@petunia354: Glad that we are not alone!</p> <p>@rosegold: I mean, the whole thing is kind of hilarious because she is so intense. I guess I should be glad she is sure of herself?</p> <p>@illumina: Your LO is about 2 months older than mine so maybe I can hope it will improve soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275775 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:23:33 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: We just moved so she doesn't have friends here yet. :( We are in a couple play groups and we have been going to regular play dates but it is just going to take some time. She is going to start gymnastics and a "preschool co-op" (a playgroup with moms doing more structured activities the same day every week) soon and I figure she will make friends there. Maybe we can venture to the playground with them, then, and see if she will retire from trolling! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275773 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:22:22 +0000 erinbaderin 2275773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this is not helpful to you, but that sounds hilarious and I totally judge the other parents for staring at you instead of laughing. My son does this when he doesn't want us to do something to him ("Ok, time to get dressed!" "Let's go have dinner!") and it makes me laugh every time. "NOOOOOO!" It's like he just saw his buddy get blown up by a landmine in Korea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275769 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:19:49 +0000 .twist. 2275769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far L is ok about sharing toys if I talk to him, but he's incredibly possessive of me! When I come to get him after work he immediately goes over to each of the other kids and yells in their face (not in a fun "omg my mom is here" way) "MMMYYYYYY MOMMY". One of the other kids kind of teases him and says "MY mommy" and L will raise his hand like he's about to hit him and says "NOOO MMYYYYYY MOMMY". I always have to have a little talk with him after that exchange. I am wondering if he'll start getting possessive about items soon too. ugh. </p> <p>No advice but I definitely sympathize for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275762 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:14:50 +0000 hilsy85 2275762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: if they are having trouble sharing, then I do turn taking--for instance, if my LO is getting angry that another kid is driving a train on the tracks that he is also driving his train on, I will say, let's take turns with the train tracks. Let's let Johnny drive with his train for a few minutes while we play with the tool box, and then it will be your turn on the train tracks. But generally train tracks are ok to share, it's the specific train cars that they fight over! So we take turns with those. </p> <p>I also find that my LO has a much more difficult time turn taking and sharing with kids that he doesn't know, i.e. random kids at the playground. He is much much better with his friends. Can you arrange play dates at the park so she gets used to being around kids she already knows in a situation where she has had trouble turn taking/sharing? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275759 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:13:35 +0000 petunia354 2275759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS got so bad about doing this at our My Gym class that I cancelled our membership. I'm not proud of that but it got too stressful for me to deal with after a full day of work. I just wanted to play with my kid and coexist with others nicely!</p> <p>He has pretty much gotten over it not but if it does happen on the playground or other shared spaces I do that same as Hilsy. I tell him that these aren't OUR toys, they are there for everyone to share and that we will go home if he can't share with everyone. He typically backs off and chooses to do something else in that case. I do my best to help him navigate the situation while being respectful of the other children. I have had to do a timeout at MyGym on a couple of occasions. I honestly can't say that it worked though, it just pissed him off more. </p> <p>The best you can do it try to help her understand that in those situations she needs to share, and know that she will eventually get it and move past this stage! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275758 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:12:49 +0000 rosegold 2275758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: your use of bellow and troll is cracking me up. fortunately, my girl's possesiveness was shortlived. what changed her was watching other younger children do the same and it was immediately written off as baby behavior. :bummed: definitely keep trying. good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275738 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 09:00:33 +0000 illumina 2275738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha, Sophie is pretty similar about the possessiveness! Though as she's pretty shy, she'll either not want to go near the slide if others are on it (I'm trying to teach her to queue!) or tell me that there's someone on "her" equipment as if I'm going to do something about it! I just say the kind of things you've said and move her on to something else if she doesn't want to share. In the last few weeks though I've definitely seen signs of her sharing and interacting more with other kids rather than along side them. She'll be 2 in a couple of weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275737 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:59:23 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Not that long - 30 to 45 minutes usually? Play dates are longer - more like 1 to 1 1/2 hours. This behavior starts seriously less than 5 minutes after we get there. Usually 20 minutes in or so she will get absorbed in playing by herself with something after I have redirected her a few times and just takes some brief breaks to police the rest of the space. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275734 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:57:33 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Do you do turn taking even when it is a toy? For example, at a play date this week I tried to get LO to play with toy cars on some tracks at the same time as another toddler. It was not that easy, ha, though they did end up of kind of sharing it. Would it have been better to just have them take turns?</p> <p>As for redirection, I definitely do that sometimes when I see that she's just not going to let it go. But I don't want to always do that because I want her to play with other kids and learn to share! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275729 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:55:07 +0000 mrbee 2275729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: How long do you spend at the playground? I think with some kids, it can be tough to be there too long - they can get overwhelmed! I would maybe try shorter visits with heavy supervision and then build up from there? Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275725 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:52:20 +0000 hilsy85 2275725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: oh ha I am SO used to public tantrums :silly: I think it's pretty normal to see that at the playground! Or you could always try redirecting to another fun activity (different slide, bubbles, chalk, a snack, etc). I also don't think it's helicopter-y to manage turn taking at that age--if she's having trouble with it/learning how to do it, I think it's good to help her navigate--that's how they figure it out! My LO will now echo the words I used to say to him to other kids if they're not sharing/taking turns.</p> <p>ETA using turn taking rather than sharing has been waaay more effective! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275720 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:49:53 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: We could try that. I am a little nervous to do "time out" in public because I think she will have a tantrum. :bummed: So I'd like to try to deal with it without escalating things.</p> <p>She does understand the concept of turns but it has to be actively managed by me. There have been occasions where I have stood there and said, "Okay, it's your friend's turn! Okay, now it is your turn! Okay, it's your friend's turn!" But that feels so helicopter-y. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275716 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:46:04 +0000 hilsy85 2275716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my LO starts being possessive at the playground of the equipment, I reiterate that everything at the playground is for everyone to use, and he has to take turns. If he can't do that, then we need to go home. Could you try sitting her on the bench for a minute to send home the message that her behavior is not ok (even though I think it's very very normal!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-bellows-nooo-at-other-kids-trying-to-play#post-2275714 Fri, 28 Aug 2015 08:44:03 +0000 daniellemybelle 2275714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is a literal troll. At playdates/playgrounds/any play space she is sharing with other children, she will stand in front of the slide, or in the doorway of the playhouse, or whatever item she has deemed "hers" in the 2 minutes we have been there, and she will yell, "NOOOO!" loudly at any kid that dares to try to play. Sometimes she will even run over from something else occupying her to reclaim the slide if she sees a kid approach it.</p> <p>All the parents immediately stare at her/me so I will go over right away, calmly but firmly take her aside, get on her level and say something like, "That was not nice to yell. This is for sharing. It's time to share and have fun with friends!" She really doesn't seem to care.</p> <p>Yesterday based on some advice in another thread I sprinkled in: "See that it made your friend sad that you yelled at him? If you play nice, he will be happy!" She didn't seem to get that or care.</p> <p>I've also tried to prompt her: "Don't say, 'No!' Say, 'Come on, guys! Let's play!'" When I do that she does usually parrot it but then will be back to the trolling in a few minutes.</p> <p>I intentionally take her to environments where she can socialize with other kids almost every day. I'm trying to set up more of a routine so hopefully she will start seeing the same kids at the same places and make friends but we just moved so it will be a process. </p> <p>Unfortunately, she usually ends up playing by herself which she is happy to do, and I know that is pretty common at this age. And honestly I prefer it to the trolling. I just wish her only interactions with other kids were not yelling at them! (That's not exactly true. Sometimes she does talk to and try to hug other kids... but it usually is on "neutral" turf when she's not focused on protecting her many beloved objects.)</p> <p>I've wondered if I should help her navigate the situations and be more proactive - going with her to introduce herself to other kids and find something they can play together. But no other parents really do that and I don't want to be a helicopter.</p> <p>Thoughts? </p>