https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 10:48:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896555 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 05:05:06 +0000 caitcat 2896555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through something similar with my older daughter, hitting and biting at this age. We did something very similar to what @MrsSRS suggested. It took a while of being very consistent, but it really did work. I felt like I said those phrases in my sleep!! It was hard to be so composed about it all at first, but became second nature after a while. My daughter gave us lots of practice, haha. :) </p> <p>We also made a point to give her tons of heavy work and lots of "physical" opportunities to try to fill her up with acceptable things to do instead of hit/bite. We put a swing in our basement for when it was too chilly outside, she pushed and pulled a ton of boxes around the house, jumped on a small trampoline, and would wrestle with my husband almost every evening when he got home from work. </p> <p>Also, not sure this would work with a 2.5 year old, but I thought I'd toss the idea out in case it helps at some point. My daughter (now 4.5) had a really hard time settling for bed about a year ago and we switched up our bedtime routine a bit at that point to include some mindfulness/meditation and deep breathing strategies to wind down. It's helped a bunch to get her to shift into a calmer state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896554 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 04:19:38 +0000 Kemma 2896554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownepiano: yep, lots of heavy work can be really good for toddlers and preschoolers! Some kids also respond really well to physical play with a parent (think rough housing and horsey rides), particularly before the “flashpoints” in your day (like bedtime).</p> <p>I’m also a huge believer in getting kids outside to play, I find that it makes everything better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896533 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 20:30:54 +0000 MrsSRS 2896533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Try to catch his hand before the hit lands. Then, holding his hand or wrist gently but firmly say, "I will not let you hurt me. No hit. I will let go when your body is calm" and hold until you feel him relax.<br /> Similarly, when he kicks at diaper changes hold his legs down until his body is calm. "You may not kick me. I will keep our bodies safe until you are calm. When your legs are safe I will let go" then stop talking and wait silently.<br /> At bedtime is give one warning: " calm body for mommy to snuggle. If you kick me I will leave the room."<br /> Then when he kicks: "ow. I will not let you hurt me. No kicking." Then walk out. Return in a few minutes asking "is your body calm?" Rinse and repeat.<br /> Try to channel a benign robot 😄 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896514 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 14:55:18 +0000 brownepiano 2896514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried giving him appropriate things to hit/kick? My kids were trying to climb everything so I told them the could climb the stairs. It helped. Also a swing inside. For hitting I'd say you can't hit Big Sis, but you can go hit the couch /bed/etc. Apologize and then send them to hit/throw something appropriate. </p> <p> I think maximum effort stuff is still really good at that age. Give him a laundry basket full of stuff to pull around the house. Anything that will make him use his gross motor skills to their fullest extent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896511 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 14:25:25 +0000 macintosh 2896511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: excellent suggestions!</p> <p>I feel like hitting is so common at that age and it's partly an impulse control issue. </p> <p>Being unable to settle at bedtime could be that he's overtired. I would definitely threaten to cut the routine short if he can't calm down and follow through with it. I still sometimes have to do that with my 4 year old :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896509 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 14:08:10 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2896509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Good luck!!! My only additional comment is to try to be as consistent as possible with addressing it every single time, so that you don't inadvertently send him the message that sometimes hitting is ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896506 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 13:41:24 +0000 Ajsmommy 2896506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: yes, thank you... I will try anything at this point. I am at my wits end. I've read and read all kinds of things but nothing seems to fit him. IE: he's hitting out of frustration/lack of verbal ability, no.... he's hitting to get more attention, no we cuddle every night him and I after dinner/before bed and he's pretty calm but as soon as we head up to bed he turns into a gremlin. ... use soft discipline, he just doesn't care! </p> <p>anyway I will def try the bedtime suggestion. Thanks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896505 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 13:36:08 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2896505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's what I would say: "hands are not for hitting, hands are for...." have him fill in the blank. It is also ok to gently but firmly hold his hand so that he can't hit.<br /> Bedtime- "If you kick me, I can't lie down with you." Leave the room, close the door. If he runs to the door crying or similar. "I can only come back if you lie down nicely". Be prepared to stand by the door, but make it clear that that behavior is not ok and that you won't put up with it. Two year olds, and kids in general, crave our love and attention. Give it to him in a positive way. Commend him on the good behavior.<br /> Diaper changes- "If you kick me I can't change your diaper. (optional: Big kids don't need diaper changes. They use the potty. Would you like to try the potty?)" Leave him with bottoms off (if you are staying at home, obviously). Also, IMO time for potty training if there is any resistance, and 2.5 is a great age to do it.<br /> Hope that helps.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896504 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 13:28:27 +0000 cake2017 2896504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Not alone! Following. My son throws things definitely for attention... he doesn’t hit as much as before but it’s defi there at times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896498 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 12:24:26 +0000 Ajsmommy 2896498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 2.5 yr old and he hits ALL THE TIME. I don't think it's a verbal frustration thing.. he just hits bc he wants to!!! His target is usually his big sister (who sometimes does deserve it for bugging him).. but a lot of times it's out of no where and for no reason. He also kicks and throws things at people.... I am the target of the kicks, usually during diaper changes and A LOT at bedtime (I lay in bed with him) and he throws everything... food/toys/his paci/anything he can get his hands on.</p> <p>I am at a loss. DD who is 5 yo was frightened of a raised voice and would stop whatever she was doing immediately but DS has NO fear of a raised voice, in fact if you raise your voice to him he actually just yells back So that is not a solution.</p> <p>We do time outs and he does seem to get it. He'll sit and then we ask him why he's there and he'll say "me hit sis" and we will say that there is no hitting and make him apologize. But he'll be right back to it in literally seconds some times. </p> <p>At bedtime he gets so riled up that he thrashes around, hitting and kicking and flipping all over I try to calm him... I talk in a calm voice, I've tried counting and singing.. I sometimes just hug him to get him to settle but none if it really works. Honestly the only thing that has worked at bedtime and I've had to do it 3 times is a small pop to his bottom. He doesn't like it but it's like he finally gets that I am being serious and he'll settle... but I really don't want to do that at all!!!! </p> <p>I am at a loss..... and I feel like I am failing him. </p> <p>is this normal? when will it end? what should we do? </p>