https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 17 Jun 2026 05:23:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403677 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 20:21:04 +0000 AggieDaze 2403677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our friends and even family definitely made less of a fuss about the second baby. That said, my closest friends (bridesmaids from our wedding 6 years ago) still made a fuss and some of our new friends from LO1 have been excited. </p> <p>I found even my parents and DH acted like the second was no big deal... They basically expected me to be ready to go right after coming home from the hospital and talked about taking LO2 out and about far before I felt ready. On the flip side, I feel like I have an even more special bond with LO2 cus sometimes it feels like it's just me and him against the world (likely cus DH is busy with LO1). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403606 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 18:58:48 +0000 Autumnmama79 2403606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that nothing beats the excitement of baby number one! Going from 0 to 1 is pretty life changing - friends and family want to be a part of that!! </p> <p>Even for myself, with lo1 I was all over the stroller and furniture research, buying all the cute white/neutral clothes I could get my hands on, planning the 'going home outfit' for baby, looking at diaper bags, decorating the nursery, etc, etc, etc... But now, with lo2 on the way I haven't done a single solitary thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403559 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 18:16:31 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2403559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was like that with #2 for us, too. I had some close friends who were super supportive, but it was much different with family than it was with #1. I remember I could hardly even get my mom to come over when #2 was a baby!</p> <p>But by the time #3 came I think people felt sorry for us or were worried about our sanity because we didn't have to cook for 6 weeks straight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403554 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 18:11:05 +0000 travelgirl1 2403554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lived abroad when both babies were born and I had a much better support network by the time I had my second so we did get more visitors and food when he arrived. But family and friends back home were far less interested. Lots of them still fussed over him but some weren't bothered about holding him. I think BIL literally said "hello" to him then walked past and that was it, lol. Far fewer cards and gifts too. I feel bad for him that less fuss was made over his arrival, but it isn't like he will ever realise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403547 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 18:05:41 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2403547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm guilty of being way less interested in baby #2. When I found out my favorite cousin and his wife were pregnant with their second within 18-24 months of his first I remember saying "again?!" I didn't understand why they had a second baby and yet still needed so much help (financial) even with the first. It seemed like a poor decision, so I distanced myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403412 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 16:23:45 +0000 autumnlove 2403412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely less interest from family and friends for LO 2 and 3! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403356 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 15:34:56 +0000 Mrs. Tea 2403356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ABSOLUTELY! We have many friends that havn't seen my son ( second born ) and he turns one in three days! I don't care that much but I do feel kind of bad for him in some ways...they fussed over his sister so much more :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403337 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 15:14:51 +0000 Corduroy 2403337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My #2 got way less celebration/attention. I think I got 40 or so cards when LO1 was born and 3 when LO2 was born in June. Nobody but the grandparents and my brothers family came to meet LO2. Six months just passed and the rest of the family met him at Christmas. We're 40 min away from most of them.</p> <p>I don't ask my friends about their #2's as much either. We're all on the same schedule and busy with ours. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403292 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 14:41:48 +0000 MrsF 2403292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I think that's probably a pretty common experience. Maybe not that the second baby is less special but people think that you're pro parents by that time and don't need the help! Wrangling 2 kids is no joke! We could have used any support that was offered. </p> <p>@FaithFertility: I bet that offer would really be appreciated! I often felt badly for M when J was a newborn (hormones didn't help) because it's nonstop nursing, etc and not as much special attention for the older child, no matter how hard you try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403258 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 14:25:07 +0000 cascademom 2403258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We definitely had less visitors around our second's birth than the first. We were shell shocked with our first. The second time around, not so much. It was more figuring out how to manage two kids at once. We welcomed meals and visits more than offers to help, etc. I had a late May baby the second time. I was outside with him within a week, so I was definitely less dependent on help than the first time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403249 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 14:20:43 +0000 sorrycharlie 2403249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yep. only my parents and a friend of the family visited in the hospital. granted, many people were sick and stayed away (january baby!) but..still. the entire extended family showed up with number one (which I hated, but now I'm splitting hairs hahaha). </p> <p>I was also saying to my husband last night - DD2 is 11 months and cutting 800 teeth at once. I'm not getting any sleep. during the day I have her to deal with, and my 3 year old, so no "sleeping when the baby sleeps". 3 year old doesn't nap. I need help more NOW than I ever did with either newborn!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403187 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:33:46 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2403187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same thing happened with us. October baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403084 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 12:18:00 +0000 LuLu Mom 2403084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree, I think it's a combo of the time of year + second baby. We had very few meals brought to us round 2, and I was fine with it and even expected it. I was prepared more for #2 by stocking the freezer with easy to make meals and breakfast options. Hang in there, if you need to talk give them a call they might be giving you space while you get adjusted to life with two. Don't hold it against them I'm sure it's not intentional. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403068 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 12:09:06 +0000 rattles 2403068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's second born more than the holidays. I've got a December and a November baby, and I received more excitement for my firstborn, holiday baby than my second. I think people treat the second differently because it's not a transition into motherhood. Congrats on your new addition! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403058 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:56:46 +0000 maybebaby 2403058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That makes sense. I'm not bummed so much by lack of offers of help more so just the fact that my closest friends (who are thoughtful, wonderful people with whom I've stayed close over the years) can't even ask how we're doing via text from time to time. I struggled with bad PPD last time and had severe tearing (with difficult recoveries) both times, and I guess I'm just a little hurt that they don't realize it would mean a lot to just be asked how's it going? They're not mind readers and it's the holiday season, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403044 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:45:40 +0000 JoJoGirl 2403044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree people probably think you have it all figured out since you aren't first-time parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403040 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:41:38 +0000 BandDmommy 2403040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think second, third, etc kids get less excitement then 1st kids. It also might be the timing of the holidays and the fact they are super busy with their own children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403039 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:41:14 +0000 HappyBaker 2403039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This totally happened with us too, to the point where family members didn't even really come visit #2 for weeks to months after he was born! I think people maybe assume that since you've done it before you don't need as much help, but I agree I think you need MORE help with #2 because you need to keep things normal for #1!</p> <p>Hang in there and don't be afraid to ASK for help - I think people are probably willing they just don't realize you need it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403035 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:38:41 +0000 littlejoy 2403035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder how many of those friends have had kids since you had your first LO. It's definitely harder to support friends (with visits/food/etc.) when you have a LO of your own. My house is a disaster, and I'm totally overworked ... Sadly, since having a kiddo, I can't be physically there as much to support my friends who are having babies. I do offer to watch my friends older kiddos quite often, so they can have a little break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403012 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:25:37 +0000 looch 2403012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They're absolutely not less special, but I do think around the holidays people are busier than normal (not cool, I know) around the holidays and there's a lot less excitement over the next born kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403011 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:25:36 +0000 runnerd 2403011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't even personally reached the same level of excitement about #2 this time around (currently pregnant), so I can see how it might be easy for friends to slip up lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403007 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:22:53 +0000 Truth Bombs 2403007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm guessing part of it is the timing of a holiday baby. This is a super busy time of year for most people. Also, people assume you have a handle on things the second time around since you know what to expect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403005 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:21:35 +0000 Mamasig 2403005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's normal. People freak out over the 1st. After that it's no big deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2403001 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:20:18 +0000 FaithFertility 2403001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll keep this in mind when my BF has #2<br /> Maybe I can offer to take LO #1 to the park or even for a walk!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2402999 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:19:52 +0000 Finfan 2402999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@maybebaby: Maybe they want to give you some space and assume you are sucking up all the newborn glory. Or they are busy with the holidays. What happens when you reach out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2402993 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:18:02 +0000 maybebaby 2402993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: totally! We are lucky in that my parenting group set up a meal train but our pre-baby friends have not been all that forthcoming checking in. Glad we have our community to help, I just can't even imagine not checking in on best friends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2402990 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:16:49 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2402990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a lot of food deliveries with #1 and none at all with #2. I think people need it more with second babies. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-babies-less-special#post-2402983 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 11:15:38 +0000 maybebaby 2402983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we had our son out close friends visited often with meals, offers of help and wanting to snuggle baby. With our new LO (three weeks old) we've still had lots of support and help but from new friends we've gotten to know since becoming parents--and our older friends (though still very active friendships) have hardly reached out, even texting to see how we're doing. It's a little bit weird to me, but maybe this is normal for second babies? </p>