https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 16 Jun 2026 07:27:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-418084 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:02:55 +0000 mrs. wagon 418084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been a little bit of a balancing act but luckily LMW is a very independent little woman and Wagon Jr. has shown almost zero signs of jealousy or sadness from lack of attention. With Wagon Sr. being an older child and me being a younger one, we're both really sensitive to the whole equal attention thing, so we really try to make sure that both kids are getting attention at pretty much all times. My mom is here, too, so it helps that we don't have to worry about cooking or laundry and she also pays a lot of attention to both kids. Wagon Sr. and I are also pretty much never apart so we automatically divide an conquer-- if one of us is with the baby, the other is with Wagon Jr.</p> <p>We're lucky!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417923 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 19:09:17 +0000 Honeybee 417923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Sometimes I tell DH we're having "girl's club", lol, and then I hand over DS. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417917 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 19:03:47 +0000 banana 417917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Good advice! I should try to find something that's just between him and I. Special mommy and son time. :) I'm sure my husband would love that. hehe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417895 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:51:59 +0000 Andrea 417895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: that stinks. not looking forward to the feeling. =( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417894 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:51:28 +0000 Honeybee 417894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Ah. :( That's rough.</p> <p>DD often tells me to go away and bring back Daddy. :( It breaks my heart a little each time, but I try not to show it because I don't want her to feel guilty. </p> <p>The best thing that has happened for DD and my relationship is creating something that that is just for the two of us. I tell her bedtime stories, and that has become "our thing." Last night, even though it was DH's night to put her to bed, DD ended up requesting me to put her to bed. I know it was for the story, but it felt so good to be wanted/needed by her since she's normally so into Daddy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417874 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:43:19 +0000 banana 417874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: We try to switch off too but usually I end up taking care of DD because she's a newborn. So my son ends up hanging out with dad all the time. This morning, my son woke up so I went into his room and I said "Hi! It's mama!' and he goes "No! No! Appah! Appah!" Broke my heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417869 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:41:03 +0000 Honeybee 417869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: DH and I have also gotten into a routine of me taking care of DS while he takes care of DD. It's nice to only have to worry about 1 kid instead of 2 all the time, but it also really limits my one-on-one time with DD (and DH's bonding time with DS). So we have a new plan to switch off every day so we both get equal time with each kid throughout the week. It's going well so far, but let's be honest, it's never enough. Even spending all day every day with them I often feel like I'm slacking on the job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417863 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:38:25 +0000 banana 417863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Oh no! That's probably what's coming up for me too, once DD goes through her separation anxiety phase. I guess mommy guilt never goes away. =\ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417861 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:37:23 +0000 banana 417861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: I've heard of other moms feeling like this way but I never really knew what they meant until I had DD. :( I didn't think I'd feel so bad about it because I figured it comes with the territory. But this morning, I was playing with my son and eating breakfast with him and getting him ready for daycare and my DH goes "Where's the baby?" and for a split second, I forgot about her! :( Then I looked over at her in her swing, happily sucking on her fingers and I felt like the worst mom in the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417859 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:35:08 +0000 Honeybee 417859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel bad just for #2, I feel bad for #1, too! DS is pretty attached to me, and going through a separation anxiety phase right now, so he's pretty much attached all the time. I feel like I don't get as much one-on-one time with DD as I would like, and sometimes I miss her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417851 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:28:57 +0000 T-Mom 417851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are reading my mind! DS is really sick right now so DH and I have both been taking off work since before Thanksgiving to take care of him. I feel bad for DD.. She is so neglected. I am making plans to make it up to her when everything settles down.. Some one on one time.. Even though I know she would be just fine without it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417792 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:51:02 +0000 Andrea 417792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am assuming most people feel this way? I certainly intend to pay the majority of my attention to DD1 when baby sis arrives. DD2 is just gonna be along for the ride bc I can't pay equal attention to more than one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417732 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:28:40 +0000 banana 417732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: Glad to hear I'm not the only one! Sometimes I feel like such a bad mom to my DD. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417726 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:27:24 +0000 MamaBehr 417726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel exactly the same way, poor DS (the younger) just gets dragged along to whatever DD wants to do. He's only 9 months old, so he doesn't know or care, but DD's needs are often met before his.... I'm assuming this changes once they both aren't soo needy, at least I hope so! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2nd-child-mommy-guilt#post-417682 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:12:38 +0000 banana 417682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 2nd child mommy guilt! My DH and I spend so much time with our son that most of our attention and focus go to him. And unfortunately it comes at our daughter's expense. :( Everyone says that my daughter won't remember feeling neglected but that my son will. So we try to make sure my son gets the same attention he always got before DD was born. But I can't help but feel bad that I'm not spending as much quality time with my DD. We try to split our time/focus between the two of them when both of us are around. But when it's just one of us with 2 kids, we usually focus more on my son.</p> <p>Moms of 2+, did you feel like this too? </p>