https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 19 Jun 2026 01:02:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495950 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 20:30:38 +0000 cat620 2495950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm debating having a third baby, and I have some of the same concerns you do. My husband is the oldest of three boys and the younger two are closer. They often go on weekend trips and hang out without inviting DH, although some of that might have to do with us having young children and his brothers don't. DH isn't bothered by it, since he tends to be a bit of a loner. But I would worry about this with my own children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495904 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 19:44:18 +0000 skipra 2495904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pregnant with our third and that's the reason we were on the fence about another. Now that I'm through the worst of the morning sickness I'd be open to a 4th but there's no chance that will happen. In addition to worrying that one will feel left out, I am nervous that LO2 will have a hard time adjusting. He still seems so much like my baby I can't imagine having another baby. I think no matter what, when you add a new baby, there will be challenges but no one I know has ever said they regretted having another child and usually say they can't imagine life without their youngest. I'm going with that right now and crossing my fingers for a smooth-ish transition. We will deal with other obstacles as they come up.<br /> For reference, both DH and I are 1 of 3. He is middle with a sister 2 years older and brother a little over 3 years younger. It sounds like he and his brother stuck together a lot and fought a lot growing up. He was kind of close with his sister as he got older but have had a falling out. I have 2 older sisters but they are 9 and 5.5 years older. I felt left out a lot but have good relationships with both of them now. I couldn't imagine only having one sibling! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495864 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:54:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2495864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's a potential for this with any number... They might experience it at school, with cousins (for example all the cousins are the same age as only the younger kid and the older one is left out), etc. I wouldn't worry about this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495844 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:38:51 +0000 winniebee 2495844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not worried about it. I'm one of 4 and trust me there's plenty of times someone is left out, feels in disfavor, etc. IMO there's problems and benefits to every number. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495841 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:36:43 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2495841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like with three or more someone is always off doing something. I don't recall a lot of free play time with all three of us together. Usually my brother would be at baseball so it would be my sister and I, or my brother and I would do older kid stuff (like video games) that my sister wasn't old enough for. I mean we had family dinners together and stuff but no one can really feel left out at that. Even with four, the oldest is going to be in school leaving just the younger three to play (and risk someone being left out). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495834 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:31:50 +0000 matador84 2495834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 3, which I wrote about in another post. I am a big fan of the "everyone needs a buddy" system. I know there will be cases where there are 3 children and all are close and get along, but in the cases that I know of where there are 3--it almost always seems like someone is left out! For me, it's either 2 or 4! My two are BFF's and I know if I had a 3rd they just wouldn't have the same relationship as my older two have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495833 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:31:33 +0000 MrsBeluga 2495833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am one of 3, and lets just say my dad loved his first born son (he was spoiled and adored and still is), and loved his baby daughter, and the middle kid (me) was just kinda there. Im totally over it by now, but it has made me like him less (growing up and now). My mom never had a preference (thank god or my therapy bill would be out of control).</p> <p>Also I genuinely like and appreciate having more than one sibling, there was always someone to play or hang out with. But DH and I will probably stop at 2 for financial reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495832 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:31:02 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2495832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the oldest of 3 (girl, girl, boy with 2.5 year gap between each) and we never had any of those problems. I'm not going to try to claim that we never fought or anything but there were really no major issues and we're all close as adults! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495831 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:30:00 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2495831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I come from a GBG and we are having GBG. The pro is definitely that the middle child is still kinda spoiled in being the only boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495830 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:29:46 +0000 Silva 2495830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: lend me some of your zen, I spend<br /> My time thinking about how I'm going to screw up my kids :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495829 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:28:56 +0000 Silva 2495829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: encouraging different interests is probably a good idea. All three kids in my husband's family have gone in into or are going into medicine, and his sisters had the same hobbies from a young age (violin, ice skating). It has created some pretty unhealthy dynamics, and I can't help but think that it was somehow encouraged (or at the very least never discouraged!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495828 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:28:53 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2495828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not worried about it. I think someone will always want some alone time and with four there is no guarantee there will be pairing off. I know a family that had a set of boy girl and then another girl boy. So the genders were kinda off anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495825 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:26:48 +0000 Silva 2495825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: @Maysprout: @petunia354: you guys make a good point about age gap. Our first two will be 3.5 years apart, but after that we will probably be aiming for two years.</p> <p>I've always thought girl, boy, girl would be the ideal 3 kid family! :silly: let me add that to the list of things I can't control but will worry about anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495821 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:20:41 +0000 petunia354 2495821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the youngest of 3 and we never had any of those issues. We had large spacing so competition wasn't really an issue. My sister is 10 years older than me and my brother is 6 years older than me. I also tend to think that being girl boy girl helped. My brother acted out a lot but that's more just his personality than anything.</p> <p>I can see how the issues you are concerned about might be more common in families with smaller spacing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495820 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:20:08 +0000 Maysprout 2495820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: not really. We were spaced out 3 years each except for the younger 2, who are closer in age, I think the bigger age gap led to less competition. The youngest being closest in age def fought the most. we've all had different enough interests and strengths that we haven't really been competive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495819 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:19:51 +0000 regberadaisy 2495819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends! I'm the youngest of 3 and always felt left out because my brothers were close in age. While they were 6-7 years older than me. And I was the only girl.<br /> My middle brother has no middle child syndrome whatsoever. He's extremely smart, outgoing, funny and social.</p> <p>My husband is also the youngest of 3 and in his family the middle was definitely the favorite of their mother. It was painfully obvious to the other 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495817 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:16:18 +0000 Silva 2495817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: interesting. Was/is there much competitiveness? I know I'm trying to somehow make a science of something that is so different in every family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495816 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:15:02 +0000 Silva 2495816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: my husband is up for whatever, genuinely. I really like the idea of four but sometimes it seems pretty logistically overwhelming. Like, I think we'd need two refrigerators. And since I'd probably continue to only work very part time until they are all in school, it really extends the amount of time I'm not earning my full potential- which limits the amount we can save for retirement/college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495815 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:12:14 +0000 Maysprout 2495815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm one of 4, we never really paired up too much. Even when we got older arguments quickly became 3 against 1. There's been a few periods where 2 people will grow closer but it doesn't make the other 2 pair up and grow closer, I guess you don't feel as left out though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495811 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 18:01:36 +0000 MrsRcCar 2495811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is the oldest of three. We are presently pregnant with #3. He would be OK to be done but I am not sure. (To be far he would be fine with just our two boys)His brothers and himself all do fine together but the younger two are closer. I think their closeness has more to do with proximity and interest.<br /> I have always wanted 4 children but it will depend on the rest of this pregnancy and what our future holds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kid-families#post-2495809 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 17:56:59 +0000 Silva 2495809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ultimately we will go with the flow and decide in the future what seems right, but my brain likes to analyze and plan. And I've been struggling with this one for awhile.</p> <p>I know I want more than 2 kids. This isn't my last baby. But I have some concerns about having three children in a family....but 4 seems like A LOT.<br /> With three kids, there's the "middle child syndrome," someone is always left out (like if you need partners for something), and there seems like a lot of potential for triangulation/unhealthy communication patterns. With four you are back at an even number.</p> <p>I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just genuinely curious if other families with three kids worry about this, and how you avoid it. I know it's totally dependent in parenting styles and personalities. But I have at least three examples of three kid families where competitiveness and unhealthy communication dominated, and the middle child clearly felt like they were "left out." </p> <p>(Full disclosure: my husband is one of three and his family is one of the ones that makes me nervous about three kids!) </p>