https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 18:37:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782210 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 11:43:07 +0000 gingerbebe 2782210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I would check local rec departments and the YMCA to see if they offer some help. For instance, our Y offers a pick up shuttle service from local schools to its facilities. And lots of the city sports things happen at parks that adjoin local schools/fields. Worst case scenarios, a lot of the preschools and daycares around here are starting to also offer shuttle services for kids and there are even some companies totally dedicated to kids taxi services. </p> <p>My inlaws had 3 kids and DH's aunt also had 3 and while they had each other and grandparents locally to help, when they were in the thick of sports, they really just depended on other parents on the teams. They would return the favor when they could and FIL who worked full time often handled the out of town weekend tourneys with a bunch of kids for the other parents to return the favor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782200 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 11:12:35 +0000 Becky 2782200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: that's a good point--I don't think there's really much offered right after school. I usually see the kids playing soccer on the rare occasion I'm driving by around 5pm. When they get to HS our district also doesn't have a late bus, and it's not in walking distance. I have no idea what we would do then if I'm working full time because I'm assuming they'll want to do sports, yearbook, student council, or whatever. </p> <p>Right now we only do gymnastics which is offered at daycare. Dreading the driving around days ahead! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782176 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 10:10:54 +0000 matador84 2782176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a just-turned-5 year old, 3.5 year old, and 1 month old.</p> <p>My inlaws live here but do not provide help (we don't see them often) and my father lives here and I ask him to help mainly with shuttling to extracurriculars for the kids or an occasional pick up from school if I'm in a jam at work, but that's rare.</p> <p>I'm still on leave for another month, but DH and I both work full time. Since DH has a very long commute, so I do all of the kids pick ups and drop offs. The older 2 kids are at a school together and the little one is at a daycare a few blocks away from the older kids' school. I've been getting in a routine the last few weeks with the baby because I know it will be a major doozie for me to get to work on time when I do go back. That is probably the most stressful thing--getting all kids up and ready, fed and out of the house by 715-720, and will have to get myself ready as well when I go back to work.</p> <p>One of the most helpful things I've done is meal plan by the month with meals I know I can get ready in 30 minutes or less. The most stressful time of the day aside from the mornings is the rush after school. The kids are hungry for snacks, they need this or that, we might need to get somewhere else, I need dinner on the table, etc. etc. To at least not have to worry about dinner has freed up time for other things. We have a pretty strict 8pm bedtime because I get them up around 630-645 in the morning. I can be relaxed about things, but I thrive on routine and discipline during the work week.</p> <p>I do work in education so I have long holidays off (6 weeks in summer, 2 at Christmas, Spring Break, etc). DH works long hours--12-15 plus days, so I tackle the majority of the responsibilities. When we have sick kids, we try and alternate who takes off to stay at home. I also rely on a cleaning lady to come every other week and it is worth every cent! </p> <p>I don't regret having a 3rd child for a second. We were in the same boat in that the family didn't feel complete and my older two were begging for a little brother or sister. It's going to be hard financially, but still made more financial sense for me to work than to SAH and lose my income, even with 3 kids educational expenses (our older two are in private school). So far it has been wonderful!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782174 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 10:05:31 +0000 looch 2782174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: What did you have in mind for extra curricular activities? </p> <p>Take a look at what's currently offered at the elementary school where your child would attend. At my son's school, they offer them right after dismissal so the kids don't need to be transported anywhere, they can do the activity right after school. So, we do one of those, as opposed to going to, say, an offsite dance studio. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782169 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 09:52:44 +0000 winniebee 2782169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: My oldest is only in K -- I'm not forcing extracurriculars (except swim lessons) until he is really wanting to do them. Also, I foresee us having a nanny or after school sitter for many years because of this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782134 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 08:33:16 +0000 josina 2782134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: The extracurriculars are TOUGH. Our situation is a bit different since we have a teenager and 2 under 3 which makes it even harder, but there is so much running (we are 20 min. from school), all-day weekend tournaments, summer practices during the work day (I feel like they don't cater to working parents AT ALL), games 3 nights a week...</p> <p>We have had to rely on other parent's to help out at times, give our daughter rides to/from games and practices. I guess w/o family help you really need to 'build a village' with your LO's classsmates/parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782093 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 06:15:16 +0000 winniebee 2782093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I love reading your well thought out posts. I wanted to chime in that one of the reasons we selected a nanny for the baby was not because I LOVE having a nanny in my house while I'm working from home - but it was because of after school care (600/month for the older kids), summer vacations, snow days, school vacations when we cannot take work off (like if I had a trial or something), and sick days. I do plan to have the older boys in some camps over the summer, but nothing full time (for example, a week here and there if something seems particularly fun or interesting) so the nanny situation assures me that I do not need to scramble for childcare coverage all summer. And I say me, because I am the default parent on the childcare front. Always. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782088 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 02:45:15 +0000 Kemma 2782088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works full time, I work 2.75 days / twenty hours per week (plus one hour of commuting each day) and we're expecting our third babe in April (kids are 5 and 2.5).</p> <p>We're fortunate that I'm entitled to twelve months of parental leave (18 weeks paid) but at this point in time I'm not planning on returning to work. The reality is that we have no family support where we live and the financial benefits just aren't great enough to make up for the extra stress that come from me working outside the home. Our school also has twelve weeks of holidays per year that we would need to arrange care for (on top of the after school care).</p> <p>I would consider working closer to town to eliminate the commute and I would possibly look at registering for short term agency work but at this stage I'm ok with not working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782063 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 21:02:23 +0000 Becky 2782063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is constantly on my mind, though recently with our youngest turning 18 months things seem so much easier and I'm not sure I want to mess with it by adding a third. Really I just want to fast forward to when a potential third would be in kindergarten!</p> <p>We both WOH, me 40 hours (42.5 with lunch of course) and DH closer to 50 at this point but sometimes a bit higher. I think we could figure out the juggling act with littles, but for those of you who have school agers, how do you handle extracurriculars? My husband isn't available most weeknights so that's a huge challenge in my mind. Crossing my fingers that I can keep my current position for another 6+ years, I would be able to go part time after my student loans were forgiven at which time the current kids would be 10 and almost 8 so maybe that would help with sports and stuff? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782041 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 18:27:50 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2782041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the biggest thing for us was to remember that with bay #3 (and true for most babies) the first year is kinda just crazy chaotic. You just figure out how to get by. We didn't do any big hobbies that commit time except for selling our house and moving. We were both home on weekends to do chores and prep for the week. Weeknights from getting off at 5 until bedtime is done at 8:30 takes both of us 100% devoted to the kids. Dinners were quick and simple. We pretty much HAD to tag team. So one of us had two kids and the other had one. Just now that the baby is a year old car she really reliably play with the big kids and make it easier for one of us to watch all 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782031 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 17:29:01 +0000 Mama Bird 2782031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been thinking about this too! I know a couple WOH families with 3 kids, and in both cases the older two are close in age, but the youngest is much younger. I imagine it helps that afterschool care costs less than full time day care, and that the older kids are more independent. </p> <p>It's still got to be crazy and expensive, though I imagine the logistics are easier and cost is much less if one parent can go part-time. Going by how much our afterschool costs, if I dropped to working 3 full days a week I'd save at least $500 from cutting days at the older kids' afterschool, not to mention saving on day care if they were OK with a partial week, and possibly dropping into a lower tax bracket.</p> <p>We still can't work out the logistics of taking ONE kid to activities. I don't think this would be much harder if there were three of them though. The problem is that I work too far to be able to pick him up from school and walk him to class. Again, something that would go away if I were working part-time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2782008 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 16:04:22 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2782008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are expecting #3 and I am PT for now. I think to make both ft WOH you either have to be able to afford ft daycare or have help or both. We have a few days of help per month but otherwise are on our own. We have to have it to the point where if MIL decides she's not doing it anymore we will just sub a babysitter, or don't rely on my income. Dh works a schedule that changes all the time and can be a lot of hours. I miss ft work but no matter what you decide this time is temporary. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781989 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:58:08 +0000 MommySLP 2781989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband &amp; I both work full time and we have 3--ages 5.5, 3.5 &amp; 2 months. I'm not back to work for 2 more weeks but I am going back full time. We both work in education so we're off weekends, holidays &amp; all summer. We are also home by 4pm every day. My in laws also live down the street and help out as needed. My job is flexible so I'm able to drop off my 2 youngest at daycare (together) and then drop my older off at kinder. We live in a small town with no traffic so this makes it all possible! We're new to having 3 but I can't imagine it any different now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781987 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:50:54 +0000 josina 2781987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I both WOH, we have a 14 yr old (my step daughter) and 2 LO's, 3 and 8 months. If we have another we have to wait until DS is almost 5 so that he will be in full-time kindergarten. We can't afford 3 in daycare. (we do use an in-home, near home, I typically do drop off and pick up but DH can pick up if needed).</p> <p>DH gets home earlier, so he can be home when the bus comes. We also have MIL who lives next door, although she doesn't help out often, we could use her in a pinch. Between DH and I we should have enough PTO to cover sick kids and dr. visits. DSD helps a ton with house cleaning (dishes/sweeps) so the house doesn't get too crazy, and she can babysit on occasion. The hardest is actually all her sports/activities and taking 2 LO's with to watch.</p> <p>We already have an SUV with 3rd row. We have to finish the basement so DSD can move to a downstairs bedroom, and 2 of the 3 LO's would have to share a room upstairs. Since we have 1 boy and 1 girl we wouldn't need to buy much stuff/clothes.</p> <p>Not making any final decisions on the 3rd LO till next year, I need to decide if I can handle 3 since a lot of the care does fall on me (food, bathtime, clothes shopping), but I don't feel done! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781986 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:45:18 +0000 mauxie 2781986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, mine are 5, 3, and 1. </p> <p>We split drop off and pick up as they are now in 3 different schools. It was 1 at one point, and then 2, but now with the oldest in public school, we are at 3 sites. </p> <p>We both work FT but are able to work remotely for some hours so I get to work by 10ish and leave before 4pm. Answer emails when I can. Husband works about 9:30-430 regularly and also has night class some days for his doctorate.</p> <p>For special days and appointments, we usually switch off and work half days and/or work-from-home. We try not to do this too often though as it's not typical of our co-workers. My husband has also taken 1 or 2 kids to work with him when he needs to since he has his own office and assistant. </p> <p>We have family locally but none to watch them during the day (grandparents all still work). My parents help out for the occasional date night or emergency pick up. They are retiring next year (I hope) and will then be more available to watch my oldest after school since right now she ends by 2pm and goes to the after school program at her school site. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781985 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:41:39 +0000 DesertDreams88 2781985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We hope to have 3 but the only main way is having family childcare to an extent since LO1 and waiting for LO3 until LO1 is in full time kinder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781977 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:11:15 +0000 Mamatimes3 2781977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is me! 3 kids (5, 3, 1) and my husband and I both WOH. And he works a shift schedule so he is sometimes on nights, etc. Luckily my job has some flexibility but it is full time 40 hours a week. </p> <p>My mom is my help. She lives with us, watches my youngest, and picks up my older two from school. She cooks some dinners and does laundry. She is a huge help. Without her it would be really hard. But it can be done. My boss has three and I have a friend who works with 4!</p> <p>And while my mom is a huge help, let's just say having your mom live with you can cause other problems. </p> <p>I would be happy to answer any questions! I love having 3 and don't regret anything about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781933 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 12:50:29 +0000 gingerbebe 2781933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, this is going to be a brain dump because this is literally me and DH's life right now and its all I think about. We have been like planning and budgeting like crazy this year because of it! </p> <p>We are in a similar situation in that we do not feel complete with 2. My children are currently 3 and 16 months old. We weren't sure if we were done when I was pregnant with DS2, but we wanted to leave the option open, so some of the choices we made with the first 2 left the option of a third on the table. Then decided when DS2 turned 1 that we were for sure not done yet. </p> <p>We're slowly making plans and adjustments to make this work in the future, as well as spreading out long term costs, as the cost to add another kid will be astronomical (there's literally no childcare center in our town that does infant care outside of an in-home care situation). We have zero family in the area, and after a few bad experiences, we do not have a regular babysitter that we use. Its just us and some close friends who come over and babysit the kids every few months after they are asleep for the night so DH and I can have an anniversary dinner or something.</p> <p>Currently, I work part-time as an attorney, my husband runs a private law practice from his home office, and he's also a full-time professor. One big change we are making is that he will be leaving his teaching position at the end of this year to focus on his private practice, which has grown to the point where the teaching position is starting to hinder the practice. This is risky from a financial standpoint in that we're losing a steady paycheck, but it will free him from a 150-mile roundtrip commute, which makes him completely inaccessible on days he teaches and is a huge time suck. Having him at home every day will give us some back-up with regards to sick days with the kids. And it will likely be a more lucrative move for our family in the long run.</p> <p>We also sucked it up and bought our forever house this summer quite unexpectedly while he had the steady paycheck for mortgage underwriting reasons (it would be harder to get the loan we wanted at the rates we wanted with him being solely business income). And we would need an extra bedroom with a 3rd child anyway. We bought our minivan back when I was pregnant with DS2 in case we did want a 3rd child, so we are squared away on that. Our second car is a commuter hybrid vehicle. Both cars are very low maintenance and should last us 10 more years easily.</p> <p>I will probably need to move to full time or 3/4 time at my job, which I am grateful to have the option for. I work for the government, so I would say 75% of the year, I have very regular hours. But the 25% of the time where its crazy, its crazy. Nights, weekends, the works. This is why having DH at home will be important. Even if we kept me at 50% time, I would not be able to go lower than that in order to keep our health insurance.</p> <p>Timing-wise, the earliest we would likely have a 3rd child is when DS1 is 5 and DS2 is 3 (just under 2 years from now). At that point, DS1 will move to private school down the street from our house for kindergarten. Not free, but less than daycare, walkably close, and we love the school (hence we bought our house here). DS2 will be in preschool either at his current daycare, which we love, or we will move him to the preschool affiliated with DS1's private school (which unfortunately is not at the same campus, boo). While I love our current school, I would consider moving DS2 to the new preschool because it is closer to our house, its cheaper, with longer hours, AND it includes lunch and snacks, whereas at our current daycare, we have to pack lunches. And he would be prescreened for kinder there and we could avoid all the evaluation and application process for the private school.</p> <p>As I said before, our town literally has no legit childcare center that has infant daycare. So we have 2 options. One, the 3rd child will either require a nanny, in which case we will have her care for the older two after school and do some meal prep and clean up kids toys and do kids laundry. This would be super expensive, but we would have coverage for pick up and drop offs, dinner would be started, and we would have coverage on sick days. The second option would be to find a different daycare center near my work 20 miles away from home just for the baby while putting DS1 in aftercare at school and keeping DS2 in full-time care. The latter would be a cheaper solution month over month, BUT it would also be very costly in terms of sick time, since DH would have to stop billing hours to care for the kids on those days. We will have to decide on the care situation as we get closer to having an actual baby.</p> <p>I took very long leaves with my boys but I will not be able to do that with the third child because we will need my health coverage (we used DH's work health coverage while I was on leave the previous times, which we wont have the option of anymore). So I have basically taken little if any time off aside from sick days with kids since I returned from maternity leave with DS2. And even then I try to make up the time by going in on my off-days. </p> <p>My job will provide 8 weeks of disability at 50% salary, and then I can break my accrued leave up however I want (i.e. I can take it at 100% or I can take a leave that is twice as long at 50%, etc). In order to maximize that, I will probably ramp up to 75% or full-time this next calendar year so that by the time I have baby 3, that disability/leave check will be as large as possible and I will accrue more leave. My goal right now is to accrue enough leave credits between now and then to be able to take 6 months leave (in concert with my disability) at 50% salary, but at the very least 4 months off. Basically, I don't want to return to work until my baby is sleeping through the night.</p> <p>Anyways, sorry for the novel, but that is what we're dealing with right now. My goal between now and having baby 3 is finding a legit babysitter I trust so that I can have some help on the weekends or on nights I have to work late so that we can have some extra hands, regardless if we go the nanny route or not. My biggest hope is just that DS1 will be far more independent at that age. He is so capable already at 3 years old and I feel more confident about adding a 3rd imagining DS2 being that capable and verbal before we add another screaming human to the mix.</p> <p>TRAVELING with 3 is another story....:) I'm excited to hear what other people are doing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781918 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:38:26 +0000 winniebee 2781918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 3 kids ages 5.5, almost 3, and 4 months. Family is 1.5 hours away. </p> <p>I combo WAH/WOH - i'm a lawyer so when I'm WAH it's not super demanding but when I WOH it's super demanding. My husband is a physician - works 80 hours a week and takes call one weekend a month. </p> <p>Oldest is in public K and takes bus. Middle goes to Montessori preschool down road. We have nanny for baby and she does pick up of middle kid and afterschool care for all. She also does all of our laundry as well as grocery pick up and other house chores. </p> <p>It is a 3 ring circus haha. I often get mother's helper for a few hours when my husband is on weekend call because it's just constant otherwise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781917 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:35:39 +0000 bushelandapeck 2781917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are expecting #3 and both WOH, though I am only part time. We have a nanny and that;'s the only way it would really work for us, given the hours I work and the fact that my older two are in preschool part time. No family nearby us to help out so we really rely on our nanny to help with some of the household stuff (kid meals, laundry, tidying up). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781916 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:31:48 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2781916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not me, but my BFF's bro has four kids. They have very cheap (free) family childcare. I think at least one spouse's job is flexible to where there are some work from home days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781911 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:24:17 +0000 skinnycow 2781911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have the same dilemma so I'm interested in responses. I'm only on my second pregnancy but it's something I think about often. Paying for childcare for three and juggling different schools and activities seems a little overwhelming to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781907 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:15:23 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2781907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! </p> <p>Current Ages: 6, 3, 1. </p> <p>IL's are about 30-40 min away, my parents 5 hours away. </p> <p>Our jobs are thankfully not very demanding. We work very set hours and get generous leave. Our commute is about 20 minutes. The hardest part right now is doing drop off's at 2 different schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-kids-amp-2-woh-parents#post-2781906 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:06:39 +0000 polkaspots 2781906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have two children and are considering a third because our family doesn’t feel complete. I’m not sure how we could make it work though, as we both work full-time out of the home. </p> <p>Is anyone out there in this boat? How do you make it work? Do you have family locally? Do you have a nanny? What are the age gaps between your kids? </p>